Of Light And Shadows

Hours later Jia pulled the sandwich out of her bag that she’d made that morning. She didn’t dare take more than the two slices of bread and a thin piece of ham in case her father noticed. She ate it slowly, trying to fool her body into thinking it was eating more food than it actually was.

She couldn’t buy lunch because every penny from her job went towards her tuition and to her father. Too soon, her sandwich was done and she was heading off to work.

She liked the book store. It was a lovely little shop tucked away inside a larger centre. Floor to ceiling oak shelves covered every wall, laden with leather-bound tomes, books on magic and folklore, non-fiction texts and wonderful fairytales.

The shop was quiet enough that she could perch near the back with a book while she waited for someone to come in. She loved organising the shelves and running her fingers over the leather spines of books she could never afford to buy.

She loved her boss too. Mrs Raylen was a small, stout woman with fierce frown lines and greying hair, but her smile was bright and her eyes were kind and she always had time for Jia. It was the one place in the human world that she felt right at home.

“Lisbeth, it’s good to see you,” she beamed from behind the low counter. “You look tired, dear.”

“I’m alright,” Jia answered, fighting a grimace at the sound of that name. “Just had a long day.”

“How was school?”

“Boring,” Jia answered, walking to the back of the store to hang up her bag and pin on her name badge. “I find it much more interesting being here.”

“That’s good to hear,” Mrs Raylen beamed. “I made tea and sandwiches for us.” Jia swallowed against the lump in her throat. She knew she was thin. She knew her face was sallow and her eyes were sunken because she rarely ate enough to survive. The old woman took pity on her and it warmed her heart to know she cared so much.

“Thank you.” She worked hard to stop her voice sounding strangled.

“It’s the least I can do. You need some meat on you, girl.” Jia accepted the hot beverage gratefully, savouring the taste of the sweet tea before picking up a sandwich of cream cheese and smoked salmon. “Eat until you can’t eat anymore,” Mrs Raylen said kindly. “I like to know you’re being fed.” Jia didn’t argue, instead taking a grateful bite of soft bread. “How did you like that book I lent you?”

“I loved it,” she answered. “I never knew Demon folklore could be so interesting.”

“It’s been sitting on that shelf for years. I figured somebody might as well read it. Seemed a shame to waste such a beautiful book.” Jia took it out of her bag and handed it to the old woman, running her fingers over its surface one last time before it was taken away. “You know, you look at these books like they’re unobtainable treasures. Why is that?”

“Every penny I have goes on rent and my tuition,” Jia shrugged. “I can’t buy new books. I love reading and I’m grateful to you for letting me borrow some of these. I could never hope to afford even one of the paperbacks in here.”

“That’s really sad. Books enrich the mind and the soul. A life without books, in my opinion, is one not worth living.” The old woman disappeared between the shelves and brought out a smaller book bound in rich red with beautiful gold script on the front. “This is from my own collection,” she said, smiling. “It never goes on sale because I’ve read it a hundred times.” Jia looked down and saw it was pristine. “It’s a romance. It tells the story of forbidden love between a Demon King and his Angel bride. It’s a beautiful story and I think it’s right up your street.”

“Are you...are you giving this to me?” Jia stared at her with wide eyes.

“I am.”

“I can’t accept this.”

“Of course you can. It’s made many of my nights enjoyable, it’s time it was able to do that for somebody who needs it just as much.” The old woman pressed the book into her hands gently, her eyes twinkling. “I know the look of somebody going through a difficult time, girl. You need something to distract you from life every now and then. Take it and treasure it like I did.”

This time Jia couldn’t hide the tears. She didn’t cry often but Mrs Raylen’s pure kindness was too much. The old lady folded the younger woman into a sweet scented hug for a moment before stepping back.

“Thank you so much.”

“Don’t mention it. You’ve been a wonderful employee here and it’s time I rewarded you for that. Now finish eating your sandwiches and do some dusting for me. I have to go to the shop to grab a few things. Will you be alright on your own?”

“Of course, I’ll be fine.” Jia smiled and the old woman waved and grabbed a shopping bag. The bell above the door dinged as it closed behind her. Jia hugged the beautiful red book to her chest, allowing a few more tears to escape before composing herself and slipping it into her bag.

She dusted and organised the shelves for a while and then she heard the quiet buzz of her phone ringing. She checked the caller ID and saw it was Evander, her best friend. She frowned and let it go to voicemail, hating herself as she did.

She missed him terribly but her father hated him because he was human. She couldn’t take another beating for seeing him. He’d almost knocked her teeth out last time. She couldn’t afford to miss classes while waiting for the swelling to recede.

Her phone buzzed again with a text message. She sighed and opened it up, reading the words on the screen as guilt stabbed at her. Please don’t ignore me. She tapped out a quick reply telling him she was busy working and then she switched the phone off altogether. It was hard enough to know she was avoiding him without hearing her phone ringing every few minutes.

There weren’t many customers to serve throughout the shift so she sat behind the till and flicked through several of the smaller non-fiction books, always looking for some mention of the Demonic Realm. The human world was largely unaware of it. Sure, they had their own religious texts depicting Heaven and Hell and mentioning countless Angels and Demons, but there was nothing that seemed right.

The only things that were correct really were the names. Lucifer was mentioned a few times as the Prince of Hell, and while Hell didn’t actually exist, his title was almost correct. He was the oldest son of Satan and the second most important figure in his world.

The thought of him distracted her from the book. She wondered what he and his brothers looked like now. Would she recognise them if she saw them again? She snorted to herself. Of course she’d recognise them. It would be impossible not to with their eyes. The amusement was replaced by melancholy as she realised it was unlikely she’d see them again anytime soon.

“Stop it,” she muttered to herself. She closed the book she was looking at and slipped it back on the shelf just as Mrs Raylen returned, setting the bell above the door ringing again. Jia smiled and waited as she bustled to the back of the store and set her bags down.

“One thing I’ll never understand,” she grumbled, “is the notion that being in a hurry leaves you entitled to cut into a queue. I was waiting to buy my groceries and this idiot of a man decided he was going to cut in front of me.”

“What did you do?”

“I told him to get lost. If he’d asked nicely I might have let him in but he just jumped in and then said sorry as an afterthought.” She grinned. “He soon realised he was being rude.” She hung her jacket up on a hook and smoothed down the front of her jumper. “Did you have any trouble while I was gone?”

“No, we had a few customers but nothing I couldn’t handle.” Mrs Raylen nodded and let Jia get back to working while she counted their stock. After several more hours the old woman checked her watch.

“It’s about time for your shift to end now dear. Thank you for working and I’ll see you tomorrow. Take care going home okay?”

“I will.” Jia gathered her things and waved goodbye, her stomach sinking at the thought of returning home. It wasn’t too late so she hoped to get a few hours to herself before her father finished his day. She spent the journey hoping he’d get hit by a bus.

When she arrived the lights were off. The flutter of relief in her stomach almost made her dizzy as she walked in and found the house blessedly silent. She padded over to her mother’s bedroom door and knocked gently.

“Mum? I’m home. I’m going to make dinner so dad can bring you it later. I’d bring it in myself but you know he won’t let me in.” She paused. “School was okay, boring as usual. I took plenty of notes and I know what I’m doing so I don’t think I’ll fail my final exams. Mrs Raylen gave me a book to keep today. It’s beautiful.” She cast her eyes downwards as silence echoed through the wood and then she shuffled away. She hadn’t expected a response but it still crushed her every time.

She threw ingredients for a stew into the slow cooker, lining up bowls and a ladle to make sure that when it was ready to serve she could do it immediately. She didn’t set a bowl out for herself because she knew her father liked to eat his food before deciding whether she was allowed any. She was thankful to Mrs Raylen for the sandwiches. Most of the time she only managed to eat anything on days where she had work.

As soon as everything was laid out on the counter she went to her room and shut the door, pulling out the book she’d been gifted and running her fingers gently over the elegant scripting of the title. She was about to start reading when she heard the doorbell.

A/N: I’ve always loved the idea of a real authentic small book store crammed with full shelves and dark wood. My idea of heaven.

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