Chapter 16: INFADECUS, SELF-LOATHING
Karzan closed the book. “You’re not ready to face your demons.”
“Then am I to die here?”
“No. The poison has progressed but has not yet reached your heart.” Karzan tapped his wand on the table. “Have you been taught the rules of magic?”
“No one has bothered.”
“Then that is where you must start.”
“It’ll be hard since I can’t even wield magic.”
Karzan pulled on his long gray beard. “Can you see it?”
“What?”
“Magic.” Karzan waved his hands through the air.
“No. Of course not.”
The wizard held his hand to his mouth and blew. A red smoke flew out of the end of his palm and filled the air around them. “This will help open your eyes.” He held out his palm and revealed a pair of large spectacles held in a leather frame. He handed them to Odder.
Odder put on the spectacles. A purple aura surrounded Karzan. His eyes then followed the red smoke around the room.
“This will visually help you understand how to control magic.” Karzan waved his hand back and forth.
Odder could see energy swirling and then concentrating around Karzan. A fireball formed in the wizard’s palm.
“Do you see?”
“The energy created your fireball?” Odder asked. “But you didn’t chant any spells.”
Karzan smiled. “Magic flows all around and through us. We can focus the energy by using words, objects, and even thoughts.”
“How big can you make it?”
“Big I suppose, magic has no limits.” Karzan scratched his chin. “But we do. Wielding magic drains us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. The larger the spell, the longer the recovery.”
Odder reached in the air as if trying to grasp the waves of energy. A feeling of excitement filled his heart. “Can you teach me?”
“That I can, lad.” Karzan threw the fireball above Odder’s head. It danced on the waves of energy. “To those who do not see the energy, the fireball appears to be acting on its own, but as you can see, I’m using the energy to move the fireball.”
Karzan pulled out his wand and waved it in the air. He chanted a spell, “vatnu forma”
Odder watched the wand light up and energy form around the tip. Karzan flicked the energy, which turned into water, toward the fireball and doused the flames.
“I can see the magic,” Odder grinned.
“Yes,” said Karzan. “This time, I used a magic item, my wand, and a spell to create water.”
“You didn’t use either when you created the fireball.”
“Correct. Once mastered, you can conjure a spell by a single thought. It takes years, sometimes decades to master a spell.” Karzan straightened his spectacles. “Now wave your hands in the air.”
Odder waved. His arms and hands created a rift in the energy. “I seem to be pushing the energy away.”
“Indeed, and this is why you can’t conjure magic. Your demon curse deflects the energy needed to create the spell.”
“What about magic items?” Odder asked.
“Do you see the glow of my wand?”
“Yes.”
“Grasp it in your hand.”
As Odder did so, the glow faded.
“Your curse nullifies the magic.”
Odder frowned and placed the wand back in front of the wizard. Frustrated, he took off his spectacles. The reddish energy disappeared and the air cleared. “So how do I break the curse?”
“You must defeat your demons.”
“And how can I possibly do that?”
Karzan held up his index finger. “Rule number one, magic comes from the spirit realm. Magic creates all things.”
“Alright, I can remember rule one but rules don’t defeat demons?”
Karzan pursed his lips and rubbed his hands together. “This room is stuffy. Let’s get some fresh air. We’ll call the others outside as well.”
Martha sat on a leaning chair, her sandals placed next to her, and her toes buried in the tall green grass. A long-brimmed straw hat shielded her face from Kellas’s rays. The others hid in the shade of a giant oak tree.
“Let’s get on with it,” said Finkle. “It’s lunchtime.”
“Calm down gnomie,” Serra said. “This is more important than filling your belly.”
Aimma leaned quietly on the trunk of the tree.
“We have little time,” Karzan said. “Odder needs examples of the rules of magic. I told him the first.”
Serra spoke up, “The second is-”
“I got this one missy.” Finkle held up his arms. “Magic is wielded by intention and willpower.” He spun his hands and created a small tornado that twisted in his palm.
Aimma applauded and then pulled a glass wand from her cloak. She whispered and pointed the wand at the tornado. It turned into stone. Finkle struggled to hold its weight and dropped it on the ground. “Objects, like my wand, words, and thoughts,” Aimma said, waving her wand, “can focus your intention to create magic.”
Serra disappeared in a cloud of black smoke. The stone suddenly crumbled. She reappeared in front of Finkle and pushed him down. “You cut me off. Don’t do it again.” She turned toward Odder. “Once you master a spell, you can use thought alone to wield it.”
Karzan and Martha clapped. “Nicely done,” said Karzan. “Over the centuries, the elves developed affinities to control certain types of magic depending on the region where they live. We call these disciplines. For example, the Rigans developed their discipline to control fire while the Gelasdorans are proficient in controlling ice-”
“And what about the dark elves, is evil their affinity?” Aimma said under her breath.
Serra’s nostrils flared. She marched toward Aimma. “I have an affinity to kicking a little healer’s-”
“Whoa Serra.” Odder stepped in front of her.
Aimma gave her a contemptible stare. Finkle stood wide-eyed and waiting for a show.
Karzan clawed his hands in the air, lightning shot from his fingertips and ripped the ground between Serra and Aimma. Odder jumped just before sinking into the crevice. Karzan continued. “The final rule.” He held his finger up to Aimma. “Magic is neither good nor evil.”
Serra and Aimma, turned their noses away from each other as Karzan glared. Odder interrupted the awkward tension. “The rules seem easy to remember, so how do I use them?”
“Do you think you are ready?” Karzan asked. “Once the doors of magic are opened, there is no going back.”
“I don’t know how to answer that. I suppose.”
“You sound unsure. Some say we have a destiny. Some say we create our destiny. I say we must rise up against our fears and confront the challenges. The outcomes will be what they are.” Karzan held out his hand. “Odder, do you rise and accept the challenge?”
Odder cleared his throat. “You are far too weak, a child, useless, and powerless,” said his inner voice. Then he pictured the demon’s faces from the book. “What must I do?”
“You will face your demons in their lair. You cannot die, but if you are defeated, you will be a slave to them for eternity.” Karzan leaned toward Odder, his expression stone-like. “A fate worse than death?”
Odder looked toward Serra. She looked away and scratched the back of her neck.
“You got this, laddy,” said Finkle.
Aimma didn’t make eye contact.
“What do you think Aimma?” asked Odder.
She hesitated but after a moment said, “I don’t like it. Your life, all life is cherished. I don’t think it’s worth the risk-”
“Don’t listen to her.” Serra interrupted. “She’s weak. You’ve come this far. It’s your destiny.”
“I’m not weak! It’s my sworn duty to protect life.”
Odder bent over slightly, and placed his hands over his stomach. His gut knotted and his breathing became shallow. He felt as though fear, in a physical form, filled his lungs.
“Odder?” Karzan asked. “What’s your decision?”
“Uh…,” Odder said, the word lingering in his throat. His mind wandered back to the pain he experienced while growing up. His nerves tensed. He remembered the persecution, the name calling, the fights, and the loneliness. His anger toward Renzt fumed, and his heart ached for his friend, Destin. He needed justice. A sudden sharp pain struck his forearm. He winced. Just a reminder of the curse and what’s at stake. “Yes, I do. I will rise to the challenge,” he said, with confidence for the first time in his life.
“Perfect,” Karzan said. He placed a firm grip on Odder’s shoulders and gave him a nod. “Tonight, we confront your first demon.” He turned his attention to the others. “I have to prepare the spell. Continue to teach and show Odder examples of the rules, and meet me in the potion room at sunset.”
“Drink this.” Aimma handed Odder a cup. “It’ll calm your nerves but keep your mind strong and alert.”
“Thanks.” Odder drank from the clay cup. His face turned red and wrinkled like a prune. He shook his head and cleared his throat. “I’ll die before I even meet the demons.”
“It tastes awful, but I promise it’ll help.”
Odder placed the cup on the same table where Karzan identified the demons. He paced from one end of the room to the other.
Finkle sat across from Serra. “Relax, laddy. Your pacing is making me nervous.”
“Where’s Karzan?” Odder wiped his brow. “He called for us to meet him here.”
“He’ll be here soon, I’m sure,” Serra said.
The sound of a door opening and shutting came from another room.
“See.” Serra winked.
The squeaking of rusty metallic wheels inched closer. Finkle held his ears. Karzan entered the room, pushing a large looking glass. Aimma stepped by Odder and helped pull the mirror.
“In the corner.” Karzan pointed. “That’s where it needs to go.”
Karzan caught his breath and sat at the table. He placed the tattered leather book on the tabletop and turned the page to the demon, Infadecus. “Gather around and I’ll tell you about the demon of Self-loathing.” He read the description aloud and pointed at the drawing.
“Just old bones,” Finkle said. “You can crush him with a club-.”
“Or slice through him like reeds.” Serra placed her dagger on the table and pushed it toward Odder.
“Don’t underestimate Infadecus.” Karzan intercepted the dagger and pushed it back to Serra. “Odder, this is a spiritual battle. He will attack your insecurities, your past, present, and future.”
“Just tell me what I need to do.”
Karzan pointed to the looking glass. “The mirror is a doorway leading to the dark parts of your heart. A realm in between our material world and the spirit realm.”
“Is it death?” asked Aimma, concerned.
“It’s purgatory, but with this enchanted mirror, Odder will be able to enter and exit where this demon has taken a stronghold.”
“How do I defeat him?”
Karzan pulled at his beard. “You must listen to your instincts.” He adjusted his spectacles. “Allow the Celestines to guide you. Remember you cannot physically die there, and the intensity of your pain will be ten fold, but in this realm, pain is just an illusion.”
Odder crossed his arms. He felt a cloud of doubt cover him. “I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“What’s the alternative?” Serra asked. “A life without magic? A slave to the goblins? Regret?”
Odder stood, his posture stout, and his voice commanding. He accepted his fate. “I’m not much a believer in the Celestines but if they are real, pray that they are with me.”
Karzan walked up to the looking glass. He placed his hands together and chanted. The mirrored glass waved like a stone thrown into a still pond, then cleared. An image of a desert wasteland formed with a pyramid in the background. “There is where you must go. Do not let anything distract you, and remember the demon will lie to keep you from defeating it.”
Odder stepped up to the looking glass and pushed his fingers against the cold, smooth surface. It resisted at first but gave in like pressing a soap bubble. His fingers slipped in, then his hand. He took one last glance back. His eyes met Aimma’s. Her expression looked familiar. He had seen it before, many times, whenever he looked into a mirror. He closed his eyes, shook the image from his head, and stepped in.
He fell to his knees. The air forced out of his lungs as if a battle hammer hit his chest. He gasped taking in thick, damp air with a hint of sulfur. Blowing sand gathered on his feet. He looked around at the massive dunes. The sand will bury me if I stay there too long. He took a quick look back at the looking glass. A black void replaced the usual reflective surface. He stood, shielding his eyes and face from the hot blowing particles, then hiked toward the pyramid. Each step met with greater resistance.
He noticed the demon symbol for Infadecus glowing on his arm.
“Where you going?” asked a soft whisper of a voice.
Odder’s heart skipped. “Who’s there?” He held out his fists.
“Look to your side,” the voice said.
Odder cleared his eyes. The blowing sand took shape. He flinched at the sight of his own face. “You’re not real.”
“As real as you are here at the steps of my dwelling.”
“I won’t fall for your deception, demon!” Odder instinctively reached for his wooden sword.
“And how do I deceive you, Odder?” It stepped closer and eyed Odder’s sword. “You won’t need your sword here.”
The demon, it has my face. How am I supposed -
“- Destroy me?” The voice laughed. “You can’t. I’m part of you.”
Odder shook his head. “You can read my thoughts?”
“Like I said, I am a part of you, and I know you Odder the vekart. You are nothing. You are worthless. I have protected you all your life from others.”
“Your voice. It sounds familiar.” It took a moment but Odder remembered. “Yes you. The voice in my head.”
Infadecus pointed back at the looking glass. “I protected you from them.” The black became transparent. On the other side, Serra, Aimma, and Finkle laughed and pointed. “Look at them, they mock and pity you. They hate you.”
A lump formed in Odder’s chest and moved into his throat.
“Yes, I can feel your pain. Go back through the glass. Tell them you failed and then flee into the woods. Do it and I will protect you.”
The demon’s words shrouded Odder’s thoughts like a heavy burial cloth. He attempted to fight but conceded to its influence as if lost in a dream.
Odder looked at his friends. How could they be so cruel? He gripped his sword until his hand became numb. Wait. He rubbed his eyes. They’re not laughing. Finkle held his hands to his mouth as if yelling. Aimma and Serra waved their hands forward.
He vanquished the demon’s fictitious authority. “No demon. You’ve got it wrong. They are not mocking me. My friends are encouraging me.”
“Arrr…” The demon’s face twisted and shook from side to side then he vanished into the sand.
Odder pressed onward toward the pyramid. The blowing sand raged and punished his exposed flesh. The temptation of turning back and taking the demons offer had entered his mind more than once. He heard crying up ahead. The demon sat on the ground with his head resting on his knees and his arms wrapped around his legs. He looked up, his face still in Odder’s likeness.
“Odder, please listen to me. I have suffered just as much as you. We deserve more.” The demon wiped his tears. “Take my hand and we can escape this land together.”
Odder peered into the demon’s eyes. He recognized the pain and sorrow.
“You know you’re weak, but together, we are strong. I can teach you magic, and we can make everyone who has ever harmed you suffer.” The demon swayed his hand over the ground. A figure lifted from the sand and took the shape of an elf.
“Renzt!” Odder said under his breath. His blood boiled, and he balled his hands into fists. He had an impulsive vision of holding a fireball over Renzt as he cowering on the ground.
“Yes, I sense your hatred.” The demon smiled.
His rotting dead teeth distracted Odder, causing his anger to retreat like a morning low tide. He shook the thoughts from his mind and walked past the demon, and then right through the sand figure of Renzt.
“No! You’ll regret this vekart.”
Odder ignored the demon’s threat and continued on his journey to the pyramid.
The sand blew harder, nearly tearing Odder’s skin. Almost there. Must keep moving.
He held his hand over his eyes to get a clear view of the structure. It appeared bigger from afar, but up close, the pyramid was no larger than a family cottage.
In an endless ballet, the sand danced, and climbed the golden bricks. Attempting to bury the pyramid in the desert wasteland.
Odder spotted the arched opening.
The demon appeared once again, blocking the entrance. “Stop,” he commanded. “To enter, you must go through me, and to go through me is death.”
Rage fumed within Odder. He snarled and stepped forward. “I see you for what you are. You no longer control me.”
The demon puffed his chest, and shouted, “then die!” He held out his arms and arched his back. His body burst into a million raging particles.
A tornado of sand engulfed Odder. He gripped his sword and pushed through the demon.
The demon continued to yell, “die, die, die,” as Odder pushed through.
Continuous waves of sand ripped at Odder’s flesh, throwing it into the wind. Leaving only his blood, muscle, and bone exposed.
Odder’s body burned as if thrown into a vat of acid. He cried out like a wild beast and pulled his sword from its sleeve. The crafted wood burst into flames. He swung slashing and striking the demon, sending sand in all directions. “Demon… be… gone!”
The wind diminished, and the sand retreated. Odder held the flaming wooden sword in front of him, his teeth clenched, his breathing heavy. He searched, but the demon vanished. He glanced at his arms, whole again as if the horrific lacerations happened in a nightmare. He eyed the flames on his sword as he moved it back and forth in front of him. His wide-eyed expression hardened, and he focused on the entrance and marched in.
The flames chased away the shadows as Odder swung his sword from left to right. A loud crash sounded behind him. He veered his sword toward the noise with his body trailing. A burst of sand struck his face. He wiped his eyes only to see a solid stone sealing the doorway. He turned back around and assessed the room. Once again he glared at the glowing symbol on his arm. A sudden ill feeling festered inside of him. Is it a trap?
He could hear his heart beating in the silence. The room reeked of sulfur, mold, and dust. He ran to one of the walls and ran his hand over the smooth surface, striking it a few times.
Four walls, no doors, no stairs, no halls. He felt his blood pressure rise. He rubbed his sweaty palms on his cloak and surveyed the area again, this time looking up. The ceiling faded into a deep darkness. The kind you would see staring into a bottomless abyss. The feeling of fear and loneliness overtook him, and the flames on his sword faded.
“There must be something!” He tightened his grip, his passion reigniting the fire. He struck the wall, the familiar sound of metal hitting stone echoed, but with no damage. His anger erupted, and he swung ferociously at the wall. Sparks painted the room in amber light as he moved along the sides, swiping from side to side until his sword cut only air in one of the corners.
Odder paused. He calmed his heavy breathing and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He moved the tip of the sword into the corner. He pushed it forward several feet until it hit the wall. He held out his hand and waved it in the open space. Now he could see the light illuminating a hall, hidden not by magic, but by the illusion of perspective.
He stepped into the thin hall and glanced back into the room. Amazing, he thought. An illusion without magic, tricking the eyes.
He traveled down the hall, a pungent odor of rotting corpses greeted him as he entered a dimly lit room. He held his fist to his mouth to keep from gagging.
“Ah, the vekart or perhaps something more? Come to free me of my sentence.”
Odder cleared his throat and pointed his sword at the voice.
A skeleton with ragged armor and dead flesh peeling from his bones sat on a throne made of stone. Silver chains weaved into his arms. One end latched to a gold ring on the ground, and the other attached to the throne.
“I’ve seen you before,” Odder said. “In a dream.” He stepped closer, leading with his sword. “You’re not as intimidating chained.”
“It was no dream.” His jaw twisted to one side. “I am Infadecus.”
“And who were you out in the sand?”
“An illusion.” The demon jolted up, but the chains tightened, and pulled him back. He laughed while his teeth clicked together. He shook his wrists. “As you can see, I am confined.”
Odder stepped up, placing the flaming sword at Infadecus’s cheek. The demon turned, his face contorted. His teeth clicked rapidly.
“Why have you cursed me?” Odder asked.
“Destroy me!”
“Oh, without a doubt but in pieces.” Odder pressed the sword into the demon’s bone. Infadecus cried out. “Unless you give me answers. Why have you cursed me?”
“I did not curse you. I was summoned.”
Odder inched his sword back. “By who?” he asked, puzzled.
Infadecus clenched his jaw in defiance. Riled, Odder dug the point deep into the demon’s bone. The demon’s body trembled from side to side. He pulled at the chains and yelled, “Salvat.”
“The wizard?”
“Yesss…”
Odder’s face went pale. It doesn’t make sense. “You’re lying!”
“What benefit would it be for me to lie to you at the tip of your sword?”
“Then why would the wizard curse me to die?”
“That I do not know.”
“Tell me demon!” The flames on Odder’s blade grew.
“I do not know! I do not know!”
For a moment, Odder felt a familiar pity for the demon. He stepped back.
“Destroy me then. You earned it.”
Odder glanced at the glowing demon mark on his forearm. He stared back at Infadecus, held up his sword, “I will hear your voice no more,” and swung.
The skeleton vaporized into a dark mist that drifted toward the ceiling. Laughter echoed in the room. “Freedom . . .” The mist disappeared into the obscure void.
The glow on Odder’s arm faded leaving the inked symbol. The ground rumbled, and the room shook. A crevice formed into the ground as fragments from the walls and ceiling fell. Stones collapsed into the hall preventing Odder from leaving. As the crevice expanded, Odder backed up to the wall and searched for an exit.
“Karzan what do I do?”
A burst of blue light flashed near the crevice and a looking glass appeared. The structure continued to shake and fall apart. A loud crash sounded from the ceiling. Odder looked up and spotted a large stone breaking free and falling toward the mirror. He sprinted and jumped into the glass just as the stone hit the frame.