OBSIDIAN: Birth to Venus

2123

She squinted, shifting the electronic lens in her right eye. She could see herself, a computerized image, a tiny green dot moving on the map projected in her mind. Was it down and to the right, or was it two blocks back, on the left?

She was going to kill her roommate, Steph. That was for sure. Steph was so easy. If it wasn’t for Steph’s desperation, chatting up that guy who reeked of cologne, I wouldn’t be in this mess, she thought. Still, she had to ask herself, Who goes bar hopping abroad without a game plan? How am I going to find the rest of the group? How could I get drunk off a measly glass of wine? Lightweight was not the word for her. Sheltered was more appropriate. She gave herself a mental kick for not knowing better, and tried to focus on the task at hand. Get back to the group, and call the night quits.

Her hair was losing its curl, damp with the late night heat and her sweat. She swatted a blonde lock aside with her hand. Her brow furrowed. Seriously, she could not be more lost at 3 a.m. Muddled thoughts sloshed in her mind. She could hear people talking outside a distant bar, a strange garbled echo ringing in her ears. She walked faster in that direction, clutching her purse strap, navigating as best as she could.

That’s it. That’s the last time I’m going to trust Steph. She should’ve seen it coming, the way Steph fawned over every remotely attractive boy. Steph couldn’t even feign interest in their study abroad program. No, Steph was on a mission for a summer romance. The program was merely a means to an end.

Down another street, and to the left. She figured she was heading back to the first bar by now. She hoped her friends would circle back eventually. Maybe I’ll meet them in the middle? But, her slow pace was not comforting. She squinted again, searching the map for the bar’s name. It didn’t help that the name resembled another bar ten blocks farther away, in the opposite direction from where she was. And, she was running on fumes. She’d finished her last exam without any sleep the night before, and had paid hardly any attention when the driverless solar-taxi had stopped, letting her and her friends out nearly four hours ago.

3:10 in the morning. At least I’m stumbling in the right direction, right? “I’ll stumble my way home, home, home.” This time, she mumbled the words aloud, slowly, as she willed her feet to move along. She looked down at her black flats. She loved how they looked on her feet, how they transformed her into a pretty ballerina. Or, so she used to think. Now, they were slow clumsy clogs weighing her down. She tugged along at what she imagined was a greater pace, but her thoughts were slowing down. She couldn’t help but get lost in them.

Why am I so slurred? The more she tried to grasp a thought, the more the thought seemed to stick, like molasses falling, a thick gummy tar. Disoriented, her heart began to quicken. An uneven pang pierced her chest here and there. She scanned her mind, trying to diagnose what was going wrong. I hardly slept. No, it’s not that. It wasn’t the stress of the exam either. It was a half hour since she had left the last bar, a half hour since her last sip. Only one glass of white wine. Sheltered or not, no wine would linger that long. She was slow, like she was on some drug. I’ve never done drugs, though. She was too goody-two-shoes for that; she’d never even tried a smoke, not even the smokeless ones that bore the American Heart Association’s seal of approval. Drinking was the most she’d planned to do and, even then, Mom and Dad would kill her if they knew. A drink or two was her max. She wouldn’t be stupid enough to try drugs, especially not her first time in another country with no close friends or family nearby.

The pavement began to teeter underneath her legs. The building swayed beside her. What’s that? A shadow jumped into view, behind hers, under the lamplight. The smell of grease assaulted her nose. A hand swarmed over her mouth. Her body went limp, weightless. A man. He was pulling her down a dark alleyway, far from the chatter she’d heard before.

He pushed her up against a wall. “Shut up.” She felt the edge of a knife jabbing against her back. She stood, motionless, frozen. She wanted to cry out, but she remained, still and mute. She willed herself to act. Move! Run! But, her body betrayed her. Her eyes went slack. She strained to focus, tried to loosen his grip on her. “Don’t bother. I drugged you real good,” he said. The stench of his breath filled her nostrils. Determined, she shot her eyes back, over her shoulder. She tried to glimpse his face, while her mind played catch-up. I never left my drink unattended, right? There was no time to understand. He punched her rib cage, encircled her body with one arm, and aimed the blade toward her neck with the other. She had no choice but to pull her face back, toward his. He was panting, the smell of his acrid breath singeing her nostrils. She could feel herself tremble. She craned her face away, but he slammed her cheek into the wall. The cold brick was a strange balm to the hot night air. “Ugh!” she heard herself moan, moments, it seemed, after he had kneed her legs apart. He pressed his slimy tongue on her skin, licking her, from neck to cheek. Her mind raced. Stop this! Stop it! No! She pictured herself pushing him off of her. She envisioned his blade in her hand. She wanted to stab him dead. But her body stayed limp against his body, his body a cage around hers. Slowly, she could feel him — as if from afar — see him groping her, ripping at her skirt and underwear. He’s going to rape you, she told herself, when, suddenly, she felt a rush of air. His body had ripped away.

She fell to the ground, alone against the pavement. Unable to move her arms or hands, she squinted again, trying to focus her eyes in the dark. His raspy voice had yelled something. He was angry. An indistinct jumble, a grumbling, gurgling noise. Then nothing but thud, thud, thud. Someone, a dark figure was holding him by the neck. His body was suspended. It slammed again and again against the opposite building.

She braced herself, not sure what to do. She was cornered back there, deep in the alley. The only way out was past the two of them, that man and that other, tall figure. Vaguely, she sensed her own body, not lifeless, but drugged, limp, like a rag doll. All she could do was squint, try to make out something, anything, in the dark. She fought the urge to pass out. His body blurred; it was moving fast, in rhythmic pulses, slamming, shooting against the wall. Suddenly, his body floated, frozen in mid-air. A moment of silence, then a guttural shriek filled the night sky. Once, twice, many times over, he screamed. Each scream a staccato. Is that him? She squinted harder. Are my eyes fooling me? Is that him, plunging the knife — his knife — into his very own eyes?

Her body trembled. What’s going on? Am I safe? His body fell to the ground. He’s got to be dead, but what about that? She tried to focus her eyes on the tall figure standing above his corpse. Will it come after me, the way it attacked him? She shuddered on the ground. The figure was walking, away from the corpse, toward her. Her heartbeat quickened as the figure came close. A strong but delicate frame floated into her vision. Glowing green eyes looked deeply into hers. She stared, shocked by the intense electric orbs staring back at her. But, her eyelids were too heavy. Stay awake, she begged. Look closer. But, there was no fighting it. She heard it then. A soft female voice, whispering, “You’re safe now. Sleep.”

Jai relaxed her temples, shifting the chromatophores in her brown eyes from black to red to purple to green to blue, until her eyes returned to the brown she’d had when she was first born, at First Light. Loofah in hand, she scrubbed her arms, her shoulders, and up her neck. She had never touched the perpetrator, the perp, but she could still feel his grime on her, could smell his putrid soul, like all other assailants. It was always that way, when she read evil thoughts. In a strange way, it was easier when the perps were victims themselves, abused when they were young; addicted to drugs; something, anything. Then, she could feel some pain or sorrow in them, not the pure evil she’d felt that early morning. Carrion like him was different. When these perps came along, she knew the world would be better off without them. Compassion had its place, but faced with the dregs of society, she couldn’t deny the fury that rose in her. Just a few seconds in his mind, and she’d felt, lived, breathed his thoughts. They ripped through her, built to a fever pitch. She couldn’t help it. She had opened herself to his memories, and bore witness to the countless women he had raped and murdered. She had no qualms then. Destroying him was inevitable. Natural selection. Precisely what nature had created her to do. She only had to let herself rip, release the hunter she had kept caged inside. She siphoned his energy until there was nothing left.

As the suds washed down the drain, Jai pictured the perp falling to the ground. She replayed what had happened, and admired the beauty in her artwork, her own brand of justice. Then, she closed her eyes, and remembered the girl. That innocent girl, who had meant no harm to anyone, who was struggling to find her friends. How much that girl had wanted to scream, to run, to fight back. He had drugged, but not silenced her. Jai gave sound to that voice. She held the girl’s energy in the palms of her hands. And, as his evil thoughts flooded her veins, she held that energy, magnified it, and coupled it with the rage and anger that the girl had felt. Jai held their energy and pulled, like a long, thin arrow taut across the bow of her mind. And, she let their arrow loose. She turned their energy into a weapon.

And, with a flick of the wrist, she slammed his body against the wall. She felt the sensation of his ribs as each of them broke. Pain thundered in his mind. But, nothing compared to the confusion, to the horror he’d felt, as she forced him to harm himself. With his own hand, she made him plunge his knife into his eyes. No matter how much he’d strained not to do it, no matter how blind and bloodied he’d become. Jai had made him do it, with all the force and fury that the girl had had. All the while, he wondered, Is this happening? Am I stabbing myself? How can this be? Again and again, nearly twenty times, he felt the knife crash into his eyes. The sockets became a bloody pulp, and his body fell to the ground.

Jai set his body on fire. Then, she relaxed her shoulders and, with a tilt of the head, she admired the symmetry of her work. “Little had you known,” she said, as if he could actually hear, “Tonight, your malicious intent would become my own secret weapon.”

Jai had flung her head back, looking up at the early morning sky. If only humans could deal with their own criminals, she thought. Guess this one’s on me. She believed in the human criminal justice system, or what was left of it, but, what time did humans have to spare? Humans were too preoccupied, most setting their sights on her kind. Besides, there was no room for doubt with her sixth-sense. Jai could read the perp’s mind; she knew he was guilty. She saw his past in sordid detail, and she had caught him red handed. She walked toward the girl, still laying on the ground. What a lucky girl. Good thing I just happened to pass by.

Jai scooped the girl up off the ground. Passed out, the girl was a drugged-up disheveled mess. Jai closed her eyes, and searched the girl’s mind. Ah, Clara. “What a lovely name,” Jai whispered, sweeping the girl’s bangs off of her face. She waved a hand across Clara’s body and released her own energy, healing Clara’s wounds.

Jai pulled Clara close and placed a hand on Clara’s temple. Jai closed her eyes, ready to clear any trace of the event. Wait. She paused. “I’m sorry, Clara. Painful as it may be, you’ll be stronger this way, with your memory intact. Except, this time,” Jai said, “this time, the ‘no’ you screamed inside can ring out, as strong and as true as you felt it to be.” It was the only other gift Jai could give her. She knew Clara would understand intellectually, as all evolved humans did, that her silence did not mean consent. But, Jai understood better than most: nothing could imprison the mind more than regretting the past. And, Jai couldn’t bear the thought that Clara might blame herself in any way, that she might hate her body for not obeying her mind. The perp had drugged her, but Jai knew it would take more than Clara’s intellect to accept that fact.

Jai knew all too well what it was like, to lack control over one’s body. She found it ironic, that for all the gifts nature had given her, for all the control she could exert over others, even Jai was once defenseless. She had hated those moments, early on in her life, when she hadn’t learned to control her powers. Back then, her body could become a prison, a foreign object unwilling to do her bidding. Jai had hated it — the feeling of her mind racing at work — while her body lay motionless, mute. That’s why helping Clara had meant so much. Jai had found a way to give Clara a voice. Clara had a message to tell, and Jai had made sure to deliver it. Giving others justice had brought purpose to Jai’s life. Helping others always did. It brought meaning to the decades of loneliness Jai had endured.

Still, Jai thought, Clara needn’t remember me. No, Jai decided, a group of passersby would come running, and the perp would rush into an abandoned warehouse. Filled with chemicals, the warehouse would burn suddenly to the ground. That would explain the perp’s injuries. Jai left just enough to identify his remains, to tie him to the unsolved rapes and murders plaguing the city. And, with that, Jai turned back to Clara. She searched the girl’s memory and returned her to her friends. She stared into their eyes and focused her mind. Take Clara to the hospital, she willed. As usual, Clara’s friends couldn’t resist her command. They held Clara in their arms and were all on their way.

Now, an hour later, Jai stood, leaning against the shower wall, hot steam and a steady pulse of water spraying against her back. It washed away the perp’s sins, expunged them from her mind…a mind filled with so many memories.

So much time had passed since her birth — 73 years. Still, it was not easy. Every thought and emotion she’d experienced, even if not her own, had stayed with her. No matter how many minds she had read, their lives, beliefs, and feelings had lingered in her psyche, like mortar and brick homes that were assembled inside of her. Brick by brick she had to condemn them, rip and tear them down, raze them to the barren earth, until her mind was cleansed. Otherwise, their evil would consume her, sap her spirit the same way she could flood their minds with whatever thought, emotion, or vision she wanted.

Jai straightened her body and breathed. Her thoughts returned to the water, streaming down the length of her body, as young and as strong as it had ever been. She still looked 21, after all this time. Her long legs had never failed her. Her arms were toned, her stomach taut. She pulled back her light brown hair and brought it around her neck, letting the jets of water pulse down and massage her shoulders. Easing into it, she could feel her muscles relax. “Let go,” she said. Just this moment, she reminded herself. If only I could command myself, as easily as everyone else.