Nox Inferno

Chapter 59: Healing

“Can you believe it!?!” Clementine giggled, “They actually bought it!”

I looked at her strangely. She did it all on purpose. Why?

“Before you ask.” Alvina interjected, “We needed to come off as rude and distant. This way the others won’t come near us and interfere with whatever we are doing.”

I nodded my head. It made sense but I hated that people where now going to think I was some snooty rich kid wanna-a-be.

“It’s okay.” A voice rattled in my brain. Nyra.

“Guys!” I said warily looking down.

“Shit!” Alvina cussed as she looked at my eyes, “I don’t understand! Did I do something wrong? Did we forget to get an ingredient?”

“We still have twenty minutes before the car comes back.” Kai said looking at his watch. If this weren’t a pressing matter, I would have laughed at his reference to a giant limo as a car.

“I don’t have my sunglasses on me.” Zephyr groaned. Could this get any worse?

“Twyla!”” A voice shouted. It sounded like Adrian, but I couldn’t be sure. I didn’t want to look up because he might see my eyes.

I turned around, as if I was mad. “Yes.” I answered. My voice sounded strain. I wonder, could I control my eyes?

“Can you look at me?” He asked.

I shook my head. Control. I repeated the one word hoping I might be able to control my eyes.

“I can try.” Nyra offered and I hummed in response.

“Fine.” Adrian said, “Let me say my piece.” I nodded and waited for him to continue,

“We are going to be around the block.” Kai said, allowing us to have some space. “Holler if you need anything.” He put an emphasis on ‘anything.’

I heard them depart but I couldn’t watch them. Did they forget about my eyes? Why where they leaving? Come back. I need to control myself or someone might see.

“Anyways…”Adrian trailed on, “Jaz and I where talking. We understand you changed.”

“Do you?” I interjected, crossing my arms, “It seems like you two where pretty angry earlier. Hell, Jasmine didn’t even speak to me just now. But somehow you ‘understand’.” I began to fidget. I wanted to turn around and give him a piece of my mind, but I couldn’t.

“I’m trying to say sorry. Why are you being so difficult!” He shouted.

I could feel my anger bubbling up and my control slipping away, “I know I changed!!” I shouted still not turning around, “I’m glad I changed. I’m stronger now and I can stand my own ground.” I wanted to cry or hit something.

“But you forgot who you were.” Adrian added softly, “You forgot about your lovable nature. Your weird obsession with Disney music and randomly breaking out into song and dance. So while you are stronger. You aren’t Twyla.”

“How can I be when-“I cut off. How can I be that Twyla when so much has happened? I found out my father isn’t my father the first day of school. Then the fact demons where real. I also found out how heartless Angels can be. One of them stabbed me and killed Lamina. I have seen death and battle. The old Twyla didn’t stand a chance.

“How can you, what?” Adrian asked.

“Nothing.” I sniffed. I hadn’t even notice the tear that slid down my face.

“What happened?” Adrian asked. He sounded closer.

“I can’t tell you.” I whispered. My voice sounded mangled. I hated how weak I sounded.

“Then don’t just give me a hug. Just like before.” I wanted to run into his arm. He was my family when my family couldn’t provide that feeling. “Come here.” Adrian turned me and I closed my eyes. He couldn’t see my eyes. I don’t know how he will react.

I held onto Adrian for dear life. I hadn’t realized how much I missed talking to someone. I have been so busy try to keep it in, I forgotten how much better it feels to get it all out. Tears began to rush out. I cried for every reason under the sun. My parents harsh words. My father not being my father. The death of the Dean, his mate, Peter, Lamina and Satan. The stress I put myself under. The death of my old life, the life I so desperately wanted to escape. My loss of humanity.

Adrian didn’t say anything, he just rubbed my back. I needed this so much. Finally when every once of water left my body, I was able to take a deep breath. I didn’t feel so agitated or angry.

“Do you feel better?” Adrian asked and pulled me away from just a little.

I looked into his eyes and nodded. Wait a minute, my eyes! Adrian didn’t look at me funnily. Are my eyes back to normal?

“Nyra?” I thought to my owl.

“Yeah your eyes are normal.” She said distantly and stopped talking. Did I offend her?

“We will talk later. Enjoy this moment.” She said in a sad voice. It sounded like she was crying.

Ehm. A voice cleared. I turned to face Kai who looked just as sad as Nyra sounded. Suddenly I knew what I needed to say.

“Adrian can we talk later?” Adrian nodded and glared at Kai.

“Don’t worry I have your back.” He said before turning and walking back into the Burger Shack.

“We went to buy you sunglasses.” Kai held up a small plastic bag.

“Where is everyone?” I asked.

“Waiting. I heard you crying, so I came running.” He was looking at the floor.

“I thought you where around the block.” I said. Kai tapped his ears. Right demonic hearing.

“Can we meet up with them? I have something t say to all of you.” I said.

He nodded and turned around. I ran over and held onto his arm. I know it was a girlie move, but I wanted him to know I wasn’t leaving.

“Hey!” Zephyr waved. He frowned when we got closer. “Your eyes!”

“I know.” I smiled weakly. My eyes get very red when I cry.

“Did he stick you in the eyes?” Alvina asked.

“You are morons, both of you.” Clementine said holding her head in her hand, “Her eyes are brown.”

“How did you do that?” Alvina asked.

“No idea.” I shrugged, “But there is something I need to tell you.” I grabbed Kai’s arm and dragged him, so he was facing me as the others where. “Nyra. I want you to listen. This applies to you as well.”

“Go ahead.” Kai said nervously.

“I’m so so sorry.” I fell to my knees. “Please forgive me.” I pleaded.

“Not that this is interesting. But what is going on?” Zephyr asked in alarm.

I looked at them, “I have been a horrible person to this team.”

Clementine tried to speak, “No you weren’t-“

But I cut her off, “Let me finish.” I stammered out, “I was so busy trying to fix myself. I wanted to be a leader like Kai, relaxed as Zephyr, smart like Clementine and pretty like Alvina. I wanted everything. But in wanting everything, I lost everything that I once was. To you guys I am cold and distant. Heck you didn’t know anything about me until you had to pry it out of me. I wanted so desperately to not be myself, I became someone else entirely. Adrian helped me realize that. I want- no- I need to make this right. I want you guys to meet the real me. The socially awkward, borderline idiotic girl I was.”

“No-“ Kai growled, “I should have known you coming back here was a mistake.” He stormed down the block.

Everyone looked at me then to Kai.

“I get it.” Nyra says quietly, “I would like to meet the real you and I want you to confide in me as you did Adrian. Can you promise me that?” She asked.

“I will try.” I thought back.

“Then as your owl I can ask this. What are you doing?! Go after him” She scowled and disappeared again into the deepest parts of my mind.

“Right.” I said standing up, “I have to go.”

“Then go!” Alvina shouted pushing me in the direction which Kai stormed away in.

I took off running. Why did he get so angry at me? Whatever the reason, I needed to sort this out. I needed to heal, and I wanted his help more than any other.

“Kai!” I called out when I saw a figure. The figure turned to me, its eyes flashing gold. Those weren’t Kai’s eyes. I stopped in alarm. I felt a hand go around my mouth stifling the life out of me. The word became spotted as I struggled to breathe

“Save me Kai.” I thought as I slipped out of consciousness.