SWNOVELS Now You’re Mine: Chapter 5
My self-control is non-existent when it comes to Hayden.
With one final look at the man responsible for my lack of restraint, I roll away from him and slip from the bed. He watches me as I walk to the closet, select an outfit, and head to the bathroom to get ready for the day.
“Where are you going, Calista?”
My spine stiffens at the sound of his voice, and I halt in my tracks. I remain frozen, unable to look at him when I respond. Hayden has a way of reading me that I find unpleasant, and it puts me at a disadvantage when it comes to dealing with him. “I have a doctor’s appointment this morning.”
“For what?”
“It’s personal.” I turn to glance at him over my shoulder. “For once, stay out of my business.”
He scoffs. “You are my business. Everything about you. Especially your well-being.”
“You’re bad for my health. Just so you know.”
His lips twitch. “Quit stalling.”
“I’m going to see my OBGYN.”
He stares at me with a stricken look on his face and his eyes wide. Then they narrow with suspicion. “Are you trying to get rid of a pregnancy?”
I clutch my clothes to my chest and spin to face him. “Oh, my God. Are you serious?”
Hayden rises from the mattress, standing tall with his arms crossed. The sunlight hits his body, turning it golden. Every divot and sinew of muscle is on display for me to gaze at like a Roman statue. Only he’s flesh and blood, and a temptation I can’t give into. Not again.
“Answer the question,” he says, the words measured but forceful.
“That’s not the reason for my appointment.”
“Then what is?”
I sigh. “Birth control, okay? My blood pressure is probably through the roof because of this conversation,” I mutter.
His stance relaxes, and his arms fall to his sides, completely at odds with the urgency in his tone. “Would you tell me if you were pregnant, Callie?”
I frown. “Of course. You’d have a right to know.”
He nods, coming to an unspoken conclusion. “So, birth control, huh?”
“Yes.”
A smile spreads his lips. “Why do you need it?”
“Why do I need it?” My forehead scrunches with my confusion. “What are you getting at, Hayden? And why do you have that stupid grin on your face?”
“You wouldn’t need birth control unless you were still planning on having sex with me.”
A loud huff leaves me before I purse my lips. “I made the appointment before I found out about your… nocturnal activities in my apartment.”
“That’s fair,” he says, dipping his head in a show of agreement, “but the fact that you’re still going to the appointment tells me what I want to know.”
“I’m going to regret asking this, but what does your twisted mind tell you? That I don’t want to get knocked up by a psychopath?”
“That you want to forgive me.”
My pulse hammers loudly in my ears until it drowns out everything else. I stare at Hayden, waiting for anger or denial to rise within me, but nothing happens. Nothing except feelings of helplessness pricking at me.
And a tinge of suspicion that he could be right…
“This is too much,” I say. I grip the clothing harder to hide the trembling of my fingers, wrinkling the garments. “And it’s not that simple.”
His jaw tightens. “Maybe not, but the inclination is there.”
“Go to hell.”
He laughs to himself, the sound hollow and forlorn. “Go to hell? Without you, I’m already there.”
After waiting several minutes for Hayden to force his way into the bathroom, I finally relax when he doesn’t appear. I go through my morning routine methodically, but not because I care about my appearance. It’s about focusing on the tasks rather than my conflicted emotions.
Once I’m showered and dressed with my hair and makeup done, I study my reflection. The woman staring back at me is calm and collected, but she has dark circles under her eyes. No amount of concealer can disguise that.
Just as no amount of denial can erase the pleasure I experienced in Hayden’s arms this morning.
Pushing that thought aside, I grab my purse and make my way to the kitchen. Hayden is there, freshly showered and fully dressed. His gaze locks on me the second I appear and doesn’t waver, even when I glare at him in suspicion.
He juts his chin at the travel mug on the counter. “Take it.”
“Thank you.”
“Why type of contraceptive are you going to request?”
I avert my gaze, becoming self-conscious at the question. “Does it matter?”
“How many times do I have to tell you? Everything about you matters to me.”
“I’m thinking about getting the shot.” When he remains quiet, I look up at him. “Does that meet your approval, Mr. Bennett?”
He lifts a brow. “Nothing short of you being pregnant meets my approval, Miss Green.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“Don’t I?”
I search his face, finding nothing except complete resolution. “Hayden…”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
He braces himself against the granite counter and leans back. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought about it.”
I stare at him as if meeting him for the first time. “I had no idea you wanted to be a father.”
“I didn’t until I met you.”
A blush works its way onto my cheeks while I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, ignoring my fluttering heart. “Oh.”
“What’s the name of your doctor?”
“I’m going to the clinic on 4th and Stanton.”
His eyes widen. “The one for low-income patients?”
“Yes.” I plant my hands on my hips. “I couldn’t afford health insurance when I made the appointment, but that’ll change once the enrollment period opens up again.”
He shakes his head vehemently. “You’re going to a physician of my choosing, not some rundown clinic in a shitty part of town.”
I open my mouth to protest, but after one phone call, Hayden arranges an appointment for me at the exact same time as my old one. “Dr. Sheridan comes highly recommended,” he says. “She’ll be happy to have you as a new patient this morning.”
After throwing up my hands in defeat, I nod. I’ll never admit it to Hayden, but I’m relieved to avoid the rougher neighborhoods of the city. “Fine, but I have to leave now, or I’ll be late.”
Hayden slowly nods, reluctance covering his features. “Sebastian will go with you.”
“I assumed so. Besides, I’ve gotten used to him being my shadow.” I shrug. “As long as he’s not inside the exam room, I don’t care.”
“If Sebastian’s in the exam room, he and I will have a private conversation afterwards.”
I don’t doubt it.
“I don’t want to know,” I mutter.
Hayden pushes away from the counter and walks over to me. I hold my ground by locking my knees instead of taking a retreating step back, like my instincts demand. He stops directly in front of me, close enough for my breasts to press against his chest and the heat of his body to warm me.
His gaze searches mine, a silent plea in their depths, before he leans down to press a kiss to my forehead. I savor the brief moment of tenderness, my eyes drifting shut.
“Be safe,” he murmurs, his voice quiet yet strained with want.
I open my eyes to find him watching me closely. “How did I end up in your bed last night?”
Hayden’s mouth thins. He remains silent for a time, as if carefully choosing his words. Or because he’s hesitating.
“I needed you there.”
His confession unsettles me, throwing my emotions into chaos. I stand there, trying to reconcile this vulnerability with the domineering man I know. “Hayden, I…”
He flicks his gaze to my lips in wordless longing. “If you don’t leave right now, I’m going to kiss you like I’ve wanted to do since you walked in here. And I won’t stop until I’ve finished what I started this morning.”
He raises his gaze to mine, giving me an unobstructed view of the yearning within. The draw between us is undeniable, a palpable tension in the room. But I can’t give in to him again. Not with my appointment looming and my pride still wounded.
“I’ll see you later,” I say quietly.
Hayden simply inclines his head, his expression now shuttered. With a final glance at him, I walk towards the door, feeling his gaze on me the entire way. Only when I’m out in the hallway am I released from his presence. Clearing my mind, I center my thoughts on the reason for my appointment.
I knew from the beginning that I needed to be responsible and get on birth control. Hayden and I have been reckless in our passion so far. Or at least I have. He had the good sense to pull out before coming inside me. I’m the one who wasn’t thinking of consequences, but I am now.
If Hayden wanted to possess me before we had sex, how would he be if I got pregnant with his child?
I can’t even begin to imagine. An unplanned pregnancy would ruin my already fractured relationship with Hayden, despite what he thinks. Seeing as he’s determined to stay and I can’t get rid of him, I’m going to concentrate on taking care of myself by obtaining a pregnancy test and some birth control.
I walk up to Sebastian as soon as I spot him in the lobby. He nods at me when our eyes meet. I lift my chin, refusing to be intimidated, even if this man could break my neck like a twig.
“Good morning, Sebastian.”
“Good morning, Mrs. Bennett.”
My mouth falls open. It takes me several moments to gather my composure and once I do, I snap my jaws closed, making my teeth click. “I’m sorry. What’d you say?”
“Is there a problem?”
“Yes. My name is Miss Green.”
He shrugs his massive shoulders. “I have my orders from Mr. Bennett to address you as such.”
“But—”
“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to discuss it with him.”
I squint up at him. “Oh, I’m planning on it.”