SWNOVELS Now You’re Mine: Chapter 1
I can’t do this.
The emotional pain of Hayden’s betrayal courses through me. Tremors wrack my body, and the pearls in my hand clink against one another. The tiny sound is like the banging of a drum. Or is that my heart? I could’ve sworn it stopped beating the minute he entered the penthouse.
And looked desperate to touch me.
I take a fortifying breath and lift my chin. If I don’t confront him now, I never will.
“Where did you get these, Hayden?” I repeat the question I asked a moment ago, my voice still shaking but my resolve firmly in place. “I need to know.”
He holds my gaze, the detachment in his eyes gutting me. “You already do.”
I shake my head, either in denial or as a response; I’m not sure which. “No, what I have is a suspicion that needs confirmation.”
“What do you want me to say, Calista?”
His use of my full name has me wincing. I quickly school my features and fist the pearls to place my hand on my hip. “The truth. That’s all I want from you.”
“You don’t know what you want.” He averts his gaze in a rare show of uncertainty. “And it doesn’t matter until I find out who’s behind your assault.”
From one blink to the next, my agony morphs into anger. “What?”
Hayden brings his attention to me. This time it’s with the full weight of his stare. It settles on me, pressing in from all sides until I’m hunching my shoulders. The unspoken thoughts running through his mind make the silence deafening, and I almost wish I hadn’t confronted him.
“Never mind,” he says, squeezing the bridge of his nose. “Keeping you safe is the only thing that’s important.”
“How can I be safe with you when you’re the one who’s been stalking me?”
“I did it to protect you. Whether or not you choose to accept that is your prerogative.”
I huff. “Explain how scaring the shit out of me was for my protection.”
“Language, Cal—”
“Fuck language, and fuck these roundabout answers,” I say, my words one decibel away from a shout. “Tell me how someone can justify breaking into my apartment, stealing my shit, and then have the fucking nerve to say it was for my own good.”
Hayden’s gaze flashes right before he grabs me by the shoulders and yanks me to him. “Don’t you realize how vulnerable you were walking in the city at night? Do you know what could’ve happened if I hadn’t been there to watch over you? Or is that a truth you don’t want to acknowledge?”
I shove at his chest. It’s as effective as pushing a mountain, and I drop my arms in defeat, still clutching the pearls. “I didn’t have a choice. I’m sure it’s easy to pass judgment from your penthouse. You can say whatever you want, but I don’t believe my safety is the only issue here.”
He lowers his head until our faces are mere inches from one another, our breaths mingling. “I wanted to fuck you,” he says, his tone guttural and deep. “I wanted you more than I’d ever wanted a woman in my life. I broke into your apartment and took your necklace to stop myself from taking your body. So yes, I wanted to keep you safe from the world, but also from myself and what I would do to you.”
“And now that you’ve fucked me? Is your obsession gone?”
He releases a sardonic laugh that has my skin prickling. “Gone? Oh no, my sweet little bird, my obsession with you has only gotten worse.”
His words kick-start my heart like I’ve taken a shot of adrenaline. The idea of Hayden watching over me like a deranged bodyguard gives way to an incessant throbbing at my temples, one that has me gritting my teeth and sucking in a breath. With my entire body rigid, except for the rise and fall of my chest, I stand there, unable to do anything except feel overwhelmed by Hayden’s desire for me.
And my fear of him.
I don’t think he’d hurt me physically. The things that scare me are the depth and intensity of his commitment. Do I have it in me to embrace this side of him? Do I even want to?
“Were you ever going to tell me?” I whisper.
“No.”
The truth of his response is like a smack to the face, and I rear back in his hold. “How can I trust you when I know you’ll lie to me?”
“I will lie, cheat, steal, and kill if that’s what it takes to keep you. You’re all that matters to me.”
“Even if I hate you for it?”
He flinches at the question, as if taking a bullet to the chest. “You can hate me for now, but not forever.”
“You can’t control that, Hayden.”
“True,” he says between clenched teeth. “But I can control everything else.”
I drop my gaze, not wanting him to see the agony that’s sure to be in my eyes. This man admitted that he wanted to possess me, and I ran. Do I have the strength to try again? Does it matter when my chances of success are minimal and part of me doesn’t want to leave in the first place?
I’ve never understood how a person could love and hate someone simultaneously, but Hayden has enlightened me.
“Let go of me,” I say, my voice calm despite my inner turmoil.
Hayden places his index finger under my chin to lift my head. “Never.”
I stare up at him, not bothering to conceal my fury. “I don’t want you touching me right now.”
“Miss Green, I wish you would try to stop me.”
The futility of my situation rises like steam to heat me all over. I shrug from his hold, but his grip is too strong, frustrating me all the more. In one last-ditch effort to get free, I fling the pearls at him. The iridescent orbs hit him in the face and his chest, bouncing off to clink on the floor.
He releases me. I press my lips together to keep my jaw from dropping, unable to believe that worked. Without his hands on me, my thoughts clear, and I can put this fucked-up situation into perspective.
“Hayden, I care about you. More than I want to admit right now.” When he quirks a brow in disapproval, my stomach dips. “But you have to see this from my point of view. How would you like it if someone violated your trust and invaded your privacy?”
“Everything is about motivation. If a mother kills someone for hurting her child, would you condemn her?”
I shake my head. “That’s different. She didn’t hurt the person she loved.”
He stiffens.
“Regardless if you want to admit it or not, you’ve hurt me with your actions. I need time to…”
“To. What?” he asks, the words clipped.
“To figure out if I can move past this.”
Hayden smirks and the mocking expression has the hairs on my arms lifting. “And if you can’t?”
“I—I don’t know.”
“Let me be clear, Miss Green. That’s not an option.” He leans forward, placing his lips by my ear. “You can run, but I’ll always chase you.”
I take a step back, and he lifts his head, his gaze trailing my every movement as I cross my arms. The action is nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt to put a barrier between us, but I need distance from him in any way I can.
“You can come after me physically, but here?” I say, pointing to my temple. “This is a place you can’t follow me, no matter what you do.”
He frowns, his confident air disappearing. The blues of his eyes glitter with uncertainty and something I’ve never seen—fear. It stabs me, cracking the facade of bravery I’m shielding myself with.
“Hayden,” I say, struggling to keep my voice stern, “there’s nothing left to talk about. We’re at an impasse.”
He doesn’t move, not even to acknowledge what I’ve said. Or maybe that’s on purpose to show he disagrees.
“I’m going to call it a night,” I say.
“But you haven’t eaten.”
I shrug. “I can’t when I’m upset.”
“Upset” might be the understatement of the year. My brain is so muddled, I don’t know if I can chew and swallow food without choking. From the way my thoughts are buzzing in my skull, I doubt that I’ll sleep tonight.
“You’re going to eat, even if I have to force-feed you,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument. “Now, you can either walk into the kitchen, or I can carry you there, but either way, you’re going.”
Righteous indignation causes me to lift my chin with a dainty sniff. “Fine.”
I don’t wait for him. My bare feet sink into the plush carpet with every step until I reach the cold tile in the kitchen. The stark change in temperature against my soles sends a chill through me, but not more than the predatory man trailing me. Although I can’t hear him walking, I can sense him.
I always do.
“Do you have a preference tonight?” he asks.
Turning to look at him, I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter what you give me. I won’t enjoy it.”
“Miss Green, you’ll enjoy anything I stick in that pretty mouth.” When I press my lips together, he smirks at me. “Have a seat.”
My pride, already raw from his lies, chafes at the command. I cross my arms and give him a pointed stare. His gaze narrows to little more than slits.
“Sit. Down.”
I continue holding his stare, begging my inner fortitude to remain strong. Backing down is not an option. Not when this man has taken possession of me in more ways than I care to admit.
He’s on me from one blink to the next, moving too fast for my brain to process. I let out a shriek at the feel of his hands grabbing my waist. He lifts me onto the island, his fingertips digging into the fabric of my jeans. I chose to wear them and a plain blouse instead of Hayden’s clothes. Once I found the pearls in his pocket, I couldn’t get the coat off fast enough.
I glare up at him, unable to keep my breathing even while agitation rushes through me. My chest heaves with every inhale, and he drops his gaze to the hint of cleavage my top displays. I resist the urge to pull the neckline up.
“My eyes are up here.”
His lips twitch. “I’m not going to apologize.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Making sure you stay put.”
I huff. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“It’s good to hear you accept the inevitable,” he says, “because now you’re mine.”