Not Mine to Keep (The Costa Family)

Whoever said new days were for fresh starts and new beginnings could go fuck themselves, because all I felt this morning was the desire to go back into the past and relive it. I’d Groundhog Day the shit out of last night—relive those thirty minutes with Calliope in my office over and over again. I’d also keep changing how the night ended, hoping for a new outcome, one that didn’t make me feel so damn miserable, like I did now.

“Excuse me, I need to . . .” Just not be here. I stood from the table inside the meeting at our family’s office building, ignoring the looks from the buttoned-up suits surrounding me, and snatched my phone. My father’s protests and concerns became background noise on my way out of the conference room.

I didn’t stop walking until I’d closed myself in my office and gone to the private bathroom. After splashing water on my face, I looked up and beyond the rivulets rolling down my face to my tired eyes.

Memories from being with Calliope in my other office last night blasted through my mind, and it was like I’d been punched in the gut, thinking about the devastated look in her eyes when I’d made her leave without me, dismissing her as if she were nothing to me.

When what scared me to death was she felt like the opposite—like she was everything. That wasn’t supposed to happen. Hell, tomorrow was only two weeks since we’d first spoken, and there I was, losing my mind over her.

I shut off the water and dried my face, then grabbed my phone from the counter, needing the only person who’d kept me sane all week. Well, hunting assholes alongside Hudson had filled in the gaps when Enzo hadn’t been on the phone with me. Enzo had become my new shrink since my regular one couldn’t know the truth of my situation.

Me: You busy?

Enzo never made me wait, minus one exception—making love to his wife.

Enzo: Going over some new recipes with the staff. You okay?

I set my back to the wall, unable to look at the mirror again, hating my reflection. I’d slept at the security office last night, then showered and changed there before heading to my regular job of helping Dad run our family’s empire.

Me: I slept in your old bedroom.

Enzo had kept his bedroom at the office for when he visited, including a bed for his daughter alongside it. For some reason, I’d found myself staring at the crib all night, unable to sleep, wondering for the first time since I’d been in the army what it’d be like to have a kid of my own—something I’d chosen to never think about after my ex left me.

Enzo: I get the feeling you’re not telling me that because you plan to complain it’s uncomfortable and I need a new one. You two get in a fight? I thought you were avoiding her. What happened?

Me: My control snapped. (In my office)

Enzo: Ohhh. So, the opposite of a fight. Why’d you sleep in my old room then?

Me: Because it shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake. But sharing a room with her after that—couldn’t do it.

Enzo: Because you’d want her again, and that scares you?

Me: I’m not answering that.

Enzo: You just did.

Enzo: You’re racking up quite the therapy bill with me, brother. Drinks for life on you.

Enzo: But in all seriousness, are you needing someone to tell you that what happened is okay? I get she’s part of the job, but who’s to say something can’t come of your relationship afterward?

Me: I’m killing her father the night she turns 30. She’s messed up about that, too. She slipped last week and showed her cards about how she really feels. She tries to act tough, but she’s all angel.

Except when she mouthed off to get a rise out of me. And when she was turned on and gave in to her desires. But I kept that to myself.

Me: I convinced her it’s okay to kill him, but I still know what that will do to her.

Enzo: So, basically what you’re saying is, you’re afraid SHE’S going to walk away from YOU. And you don’t want to get hurt.

Enzo: And before you say you can’t change—she’s already changed you. Well, more like she’s bringing you back to life.

The knock at my bathroom door stopped me from giving him my Hell no response.

“You throwing up or something? You good?” Izzy. Of course she’d worry. Now that she worked at our family business, too, she played the role of Mom there. For everyone, in fact. Not just within our family.

“Be right out.”

Me: I have to go. Thanks for the mindfuck chat.

Enzo: Anytime. Later.

I pocketed my phone and went into my office to see both Constantine and Izzy waiting for me. It was only shocking that my old man hadn’t joined them in their quest to ensure I was still working with a full deck and hadn’t completely lost it.

“What?” I barked out, misplacing my anger as I loosened my tie and dropped down behind my desk.

Izzy took a seat on the couch. She crossed her legs, and her one black heel dangled from her foot. The nervous little look she shot me had me even more on edge.

Constantine perched his hip on my desk, resting his forearm on his leg as he looked at me. “Hudson texted me during the meeting. I was about to excuse the three of us had you not made a run for it first.”

“So he told you?” I’d figured everyone in our office last night had heard, including half the Upper East Side, because Calliope’s moans had been less than quiet, but I’d never thought Hudson would call an emergency meeting over me having sex with my wife.

“Told me what?” Constantine’s brows shot up as he waited for me to continue.

“That I’m going to Nashville today,” I said on the fly.

Izzy secured her heel and stood. “Why?”

“First, tell me what Hudson said.” Clearly, his call hadn’t been about my sex life or my trip.

“It’s about Gabriel,” Izzy said softly.

I couldn’t handle much else today, and I was torn whether I wanted to stand or keep my ass seated in preparation for the bad news I felt coming my way. “Go on,” I rasped, my heart beating faster.

“He possibly found something,” Constantine said while standing, and he slipped his hand into his pocket. I was waiting for the “I told you so” look from him, but he didn’t give it to me. “Hudson discovered an anomaly in some CCTV footage from three weeks ago in Rome while retracing Gabriel’s movements over the last few months.”

“Someone hid the fact Gabriel was in Rome. Went so far as looping footage at the terminal the day of his arrival, and the next day when he departed,” Izzy added. “Hudson wanted to get to the bottom of it before he shared it with us.”

“And?” I swallowed, my nerves unable to handle the wait.

“The hacker who altered the footage was too good, so he reached out to an old SEAL contact of his, and they connected him with a former CIA officer who could help. She’s here in New York. She and her husband met up with him this morning, and she successfully unfucked the footage to its original state.”

“Skip the boring details and the suspense and get to the point. What’d Gabriel do?” On my feet now, I lost my patience at Constantine’s lack of response. “You didn’t see him do anything, did you?”

“He wanted to hide the fact he was in Rome. What if he met with Esposito?” Constantine proposed, and I knew he didn’t like the guy, and with good reason given the man’s boss, but now my brother was grasping at straws. “Gabriel was in Rome the week before he called you to go to Nashville, and it’s possible—”

“He sold out Calliope to Esposito,” Izzy finished for him. “It was someone from Gabriel’s team who questioned the guard in Nashville and got the name Esposito in the first place. Gabriel could’ve been working with the guard and had him silenced so he couldn’t turn on him.”

I bowed my head, trying to process their accusation. “Other people live in Rome, you know. He could’ve been there for Armani, and Armani hid Gabriel’s tracks for a reason.” Am I really defending a criminal?

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but we need to consider the possibility Gabriel set everything in motion from the get-go. He chose Esposito to frame, knowing what Armani would do when he found out,” Constantine went on, not considering my pathetic efforts to clear Gabriel’s name.

“Maybe Gabriel somehow made Marcello think bringing Rocco into the picture was his idea—because with Rocco in this mess, he knew it’d guarantee our involvement, as well as The League’s,” Izzy said, keeping the Gabriel-being-guilty train rolling, and I was ready to pump the brakes.

“Now you’re just reaching, dammit.” I stood tall and shrugged off my jacket; it was too damn hot in there.

Izzy met my eyes, a request to, at least, listen to the theory. But that’s all it still was—and a stretch at that. “Those men in the park only came after her when you were with them, and Gabriel knew you could handle them and protect her. This whole thing could be Gabriel’s power-grab moment. He admitted as much to you on night one. He just left out the fact he put everything in motion to ensure he takes over and has The League’s protection, too.”

“The favor I owed him is a four-year-old one. He couldn’t have planned things out this perfectly.” I don’t think.

“The man’s patient,” Constantine said, “and you know that. When the opportunity presented itself with Calliope’s existence being discovered, he more than likely began setting everything in motion the day of her mother’s funeral.”

“I have to talk to him. He can clear this up.” I went to grab my phone, but Constantine got to it first, stopping me.

“Even if Gabriel set everything in motion,” Izzy started, “at the end of the day, isn’t he still the—”

“Don’t. Don’t say it,” I begged her. “If he’s behind this, he could’ve gotten Calliope killed in the park that day. And then we killed people he framed. So no, if this is true, he’s not the lesser of two anything. He’s just as fucking bad.” I turned to Constantine, my shoulders falling. “You suspected this theory from the beginning, didn’t you? It’s why you pushed Hudson to dig deeper.”

His quiet, signature apologetic look was all he gave me for an answer.

“What do we do now, then?” Izzy asked, and I looked over at her, feeling torn apart, and I’d already been in bad shape before this news.

“We keep an eye on Gabriel now, too, not just Rocco,” Constantine said steadily. “And we still go through with the plan for the party. Only we might just need to kill a few more people than we originally planned.”