North x Northwest

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Lil cut her hair with the dagger as if she was cutting a rope. Her hair was tougher than she expected, and she had the impression that it was getting longer and longer as she cut it. After finishing both sides, she brushed through it with her fingers. Her hair was still falling out between her fingers, but it was much less than a week ago, indicating that her health was improving. However, Lil’s impatience remained the same. She got even more anxious when she looked around town today.

Lil, whose confidence suddenly plummeted, slumped and chose her pyjamas. There were more than ten kinds of formal nightgowns waiting for her, ranging from a nightcap for her head to linen smocks and negligees to shawls and lace gloves. Lil took only the negligee and put it over her head. As she was about to leave the room with a thick gown over her shoulders, she looked back at her desk. The envelope she had received from Cesar caught her attention.

‘It seems that he has made up his mind during those two months, he appeared much calmer than the last time I saw him. Even so, he must’ve been shaken by meeting me so unexpectedly… I truly felt sorry for Cesar today. He had been nothing but anxious and at a loss for the entire time we were together. I also feel sorry that it was all my fault… I’ve been regretting it for a long time now…’

But when Lil recalled the painful days, hate was mixed with her feeling of regret.

‘It was on the other hand bothersome that I couldn’t finish the things I tried so hard to pursue. I was stuck.’

Lil soon brushed off her petty thoughts.

‘The truth is that we were both suffering mentally. It’s not about comparing who was treated more unfairly…’

She squeezed the envelope tightly.

‘All I want for Cesar is to be happy… If he heard this, he would probably consider it as arrogance that would offend him, but I can’t help but wish him well… It’s kind of ironic that I’m now worrying that he’ll miss me and be unhappy for the rest of his life… That’s right. It’s probably my pride speaking.’

“…Why aren’t you coming?”

“Oh, God.”

“…”

Surprised by the voice coming from the door, Lil straightened her gown.

“It hasn’t been that long since they told me you would wait? Why did you already come running here?”

“I’ve been waiting a long time actually. About an hour now.”

“…An hour?”

‘When did time pass like that?’

Lil put down the envelope, pretending nothing was wrong.

“I like the library.”

“Why?”

“It’s really grand. I’ve never seen a place with so many books.”

It wasn’t empty talk. The library in this mansion was as large as several banquet halls combined. It wasn’t an independent library*, but the collection was nonetheless enormous. Rows of bookshelves occupied the two-story high walls, a lounge was made in the centre, and a dark chandelier descended from the vaulted ceiling. If that wasn’t enough, various types of desks and chairs were arranged along the lounge as well.

‘I once told Ed that I envy his access to numerous books. What did he tell me back then?’

{ “This all… is just shameful history. It’s the history of inferiority.” }

{ “What are you talking about?” }

{ “You shouldn’t be saying that you’re envious when I’m actually the one who should be.” }

‘I used to gloss over words that didn’t make sense to me, but I still can’t figure out what Ed could’ve meant even now. Ed sometimes says things that I just don’t understand, but to be honest, I don’t bother to ask either… Similarly, Ed doesn’t seem to feel the need to add more.’

“Then I will wait for you there next time.”

After silently closing the door, Ed came to stand next to Lil instead of standing opposite her.

“..?”

“Isn’t it more convenient to look at the map together?”

“…”

Ed’s remark made Lil frown, but she couldn’t deny that he had a point. contemporary romance

‘Once in a while, he comes up with such rational arguments that are impossible to refute…’

She cast a glance at Ed, who was sitting on the desk, staring down at the map. Ed’s glasses were always a mystery to her.

‘It amazes me how two glass beads can make people look so different.’

The more Lil was captivated by Ed’s intelligent and lucid aura, the more she forgot she was blatantly staring at him…

“Just look at me plainly.”

“Ack!”

Lil suddenly came to her senses and vainly slammed the desk.

“Whenever I put them on, you often glance at me. That’s why I’m wearing them again today.”

“No way?”

“Do you like them that much?”

“Wha, what! What?!”

As she opened her eyes, something landed on the bridge of her nose.

“Glasses.”

‘Caught… I got unnecessarily caught up with him again…’

Lil froze while staring crossed-eyed at the glass beads in front of her, but quickly brushed them off and threw them away.

‘Nonsense! They only make me look stupid.’

Her resentment was not diminished when she thought of how ridiculous she might have appeared.

“…You really want to die, don’t you? Huh?”

It was a threat that obviously wasn’t working on Ed, who was already laughing, even to the point he had to cover his mouth as if he was trying to hold himself back while his shoulders visibly trembled. Despite her annoyed expression and pouting mouth, Lil appeared only cute in Ed’s eyes. It was then that he heard a faint murmur coming from her.

“…If I get even more enraged, I’ll only end up getting caught up with him again. I have to be tolerant… tolerant…”

Lil took a deep breath like a person exercising a great deal of patience. She straightened out the map and reverently placed the paperweights. Roahn’s unwrinkled land greeted Lil majestically. However, the moment of peace was short-lived because Ed’s face suddenly intervened and covered the streets of Roahn.

“Didn’t you say you wouldn’t come back in forever?”

Lil immediately pushed Ed’s face away and snapped at him.

“And I thought you were stoned to death?”

“…”

Lil sat down on the chair she had pulled out. When she fumbled with the edge of the map for no reason, Ed likewise sat down on the chair next to her still hovering his face over the streets. Lil glanced at Ed reluctantly and gripped his shoulder sharply.

“Go away.”

Instead of complying with her request, Ed spoke without even looking at Lil’s fingers.

“You cut your hair.”

“I don’t think that’s important right now, so pull yourself together and help me out here. The time for pranks is over.”

“Why?”

“We have a lot of work to do. Now, look at the map.”

“What made you change it?”

‘Again, he’s unnecessarily obstinate.’

But rather than avoiding providing an answer, Lil chose to answer his question roughly. In her experience, this was the better solution when dealing with Ed.

‘But, just how limitless is this person’s curiosity?’

“It’s because I’m more comfortable with short hair. Imagine that you’re me. Would you like to go to Gualtiero with your waist-length hair? And with hair that falls out in clumps every day?”

“Then why did you let it grow till this point? Weren’t you uncomfortable sweeping the Bell Rock’s deck with your long… hair…”

Ed shut himself up upon realising the reason himself. Lil, on the other hand, pretended not to notice his expression which had turned in one full of murderous intent.

She didn’t know what to say.

‘Should I ask him to forgive Cesar? To forget him? Or should I say that I’m sorry because it was all because of me?’

“…I looked around for possible escape routes today.”

“Really?”

Thankfully, Ed joined their conversation in a gentle way.

“Look here. I’ve been to City Hall Square, but I think the plan needs to be revised. No matter how much we disguise ourselves, it will be impossible to move dozens of people all at once. With bandits and homeless people in every alley at night, there are just too many witnesses.”

“…”

“So… Why don’t we use identity guarantees?”

Ed crossed his arms disapprovingly before answering.

“Identity guarantees? What guarantees?”

“This…”

“..?”

Lil held out the envelope to Ed but hesitated. She planned to use this to turn the topic around, but this too couldn’t be discussed without mentioning Cesar.

‘I should be the first to admit that we met. It would be even stranger if I remain silent when I have nothing to hide. Nonetheless, Ed will be upset with whatever I say…’

Lil sighed in resignation.

“Today, Cesar…”

Ed, who was leaning in his chair, raised his upper body. As the chair creaked due to his movement, his face fell out of range of the lantern light.

As the ambient temperature seemed to drop, his cold face asked.

“…Where?”

“At the market, by chance.”

Ed, who had been horribly silent at first, proceeded to speak slowly.

“…Wasn’t sparing his life enough?”

– – – – –

Footnote:

Independent library: An independent library (also membership library or subscription library) is a library that is financed by private funds either from membership fees or endowments. Unlike a public library, access is often restricted to members, but access rights can also be given to non-members, such as students.

…In the 18th century, there were virtually no public libraries in the sense in which we now understand the term i.e. libraries provided from public funds and freely accessible to all… However, during the century, there came into being a whole network of library provisions on a private or institutional basis. [WIKI]

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