Ninety Degrees Out

Arimina let go of Hakan’s hand and started running as soon as they turned out of the woods onto the roadway. She could see all the people standing around their wagon, and the tarp stretched out beside it to make a tent. The flap that made a door was up and she slid to a stop beside Eliza.

“Mommy, mommy, I’m sorry!”

She watched as Alicia’s sat up on the thick bed of spruce boughs piled on the ground.

“Ari, baby?”

She threw herself into her mother’s arms. “I had to pee. I’m sorry. And then I wanted a bath. Jazz and Blue were with me. And then there was this man and….” Her voice petered out as her mother’s hug tightened around her. She burrowed her head into Alicia’s chest, and started to cry.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again.” Mommy sounded so angry and she squeezed even harder, like she didn’t believe she was there.

“But I needed to pee.”

Her mother’s hug eased off a bit and she had to listen hard to understand her. Her voice was hoarse and very soft.

“Baby, I’m not angry, I’m scared. I heard that gun go off and I thought you were hurt and lost too.” Arimina felt her mother’s hands run over her arms and legs.

“I’m not hurt. But the man was going to shoot Jazz. He pointed the gun into the sky the first time. That’s wrong. He didn’t know where the bullet would go. And I had to scream at him so he wouldn’t hurt Jazz.” Her explanation was interrupted by little hiccups and sobs. “Where’s Jazz and where’s Blue? She was coming back with me.”

“I’ll go look Ari,” Eliza said from where she was sitting, leaned against one of the wagon wheels.

She was half crouched when Chay ducked through the open flap. Blue followed him and Jazz flopped down across the opening. Chay help Eliza up the rest of the way, and waved goodbye as she left.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Chay.” Ari raised her tear stained face to look at him. “I didn’t mean to scare everyone. I had to pee, and then I went down to the water to clean up. And then the man came, and he was going to shoot Jazz.”

Chay sat down beside her, pulled Alicia into his lap, and hugged Ari with his other arm, cuddling her too. Her mother wrapped her arm around her shoulders, and they stayed like that for a long time.

“I’m sleepy Mr. Chay.” Ari mumbled. She really wanted to stay with him and her mother.

“What do you think, Alicia? We can keep her down here with us for the night I think.” Chay asked.

“I don’t want her out of my sight. Of course, she stays with us.”

“You and your mom spread the blankets out on the bed then,” Chay said, “and I’ll go get the rest of yours from the wagon.”

“Mommy are you mad at me?” Ari whispered.

“No baby, I’m not. I’m mad at myself for not being here when you needed me. I should have been here to go with you.”

“But I’m a big girl. I can go pee by myself.” Ari protested.

“I know baby, but only at home. Outdoors, camping like this? I should have been here. Sometimes I can be so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Arimina told her.

“This time I was. Let’s get those blankets spread out. The spruce branches will be better to lay on once they are covered.”

“Do you still love me?” Her voice trembling. She knew she was lucky nothing bad had happened.

Chay came in with her pillows and blankets. “Of course, I still love you.” He knelt down to help Alicia place the pillows on one end of the bed. “I didn’t like that you were gone when we got back here. The campfire meeting went longer than we thought it would. I’m sorry we weren’t here when you had to get up.”

“That’s what Mommy said too,” Ari smiled. “I won’t go in the woods alone again. Especially at night. I could have gone behind the bushes right out there.” She pointed outside.

“Okay, then we understand each other and the new rule. None of us goes into the woods alone at night. And we use a bush to go behind. One that’s close to the wagon, okay?” Chay looked at Ari and she nodded.

“And if we have to go to a meeting, like tonight, we take you with us. If you fall asleep that’s okay. We’ll carry you back.” Alicia decided.

“My thoughts exactly. Now let’s get under the blankets. I’m closing the flap before more mosquitos get in here.” Chay said.

Ari snuggled between Chay and her mother. She wondered if he would be her father. She had to ask him. Maybe he could marry her mother. They were already sleeping together. Maybe she would would have a baby brother or sister soon? Safe and warm, she drifted into sleep to the whispered conversation of the two people she loved most in the world.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“Is she asleep yet?” Chay whispered.

Arimina was nestled between them under a light blanket.

“I’m not sure. I stuck between angry at her for even leaving the wagon, and not being able to forgive myself for staying away for so long. Of course, Jazz and Blue are not going to stop her. They did right, they went with her to protect her. And there’s more guilt. What if that shot wasn’t into the air?”

Alicia’s arm reached over her daughter to grasp his bicep. He was on his side with Ari’s back against his chest, savoring the feeling of having a child’s love and trust as she drifted into sleep. With everything that changed in his world, the discovery of this little girl and her mother was a blessing he thanked the Creator for with every breath.

“I’m kicking myself too. I’m right there with you. We can’t leave her with Jazz and expect him to keep her where she is. He sees her as a puppy. She’s allowed to explore and learn. He’ll follow and keep her out of trouble. It’s the wolf way. His wolf pieces are pretty dominant. I know that and I forgot it completely.”

“That and I forget Ari is still a small child. She’s barely five years old and I treat her as an adult. She’s so incredibly smart and knows so much about so many things, it’s hard to remember she doesn’t think of consequences like and adult should.”

Alicia’s whispered admission was precisely what he was thinking. He reached up to squeeze her hand.

“I know. Let’s start by not leaving her without an adult somewhere close by to keep an eye on her. Both of us have responsibilities to this community that are going to take us away from her side. We need to find someone, say Eliza to sit with her when we have to deal with meetings like tonight’s.”

“I like Eliza for here. At home, I’ll talk to Mom about it. It’s pretty much what I have been doing. And we need to get something going for the kids around the ranch for schooling. Does anyone have any teaching experience?” Alicia asked.

“I have no idea. Another question for a community town hall, I guess. We don’t have any older teens around yet, but that will be a problem too.” Chay said. “But what about this awful feeling of what if? I can’t get it out of my head. I just want to lock Ari up and keep her away from anything that might hurt her.”

“You can’t. I’ve already learned that. It’s why I didn’t scream at her for getting of the wagon by herself. From her point of view, she didn’t do anything wrong, and if we were at home, it wouldn’t have been a problem. It’s hard to let my baby go and let her learn her own lessons.”

Alicia’s quiet admission hit him in his gut.

“You’re a stronger person than I am. I’m having a tough time letting you go into danger too. I was shaking right down to my bones when you confronted the polar bear. It was a good thing my horse was acting up. I would have tried to stop you. Not a good idea, but it was there in my head. You are an amazing woman, but I want to keep you safe. I love you and Ari beyond words. It’s hard to balance that with letting either of you do what you need to. Ari so she can grow and you so you can be all you can be. Does that even make sense?”

He saw the glimmer of tears in the dim moonlit interior of their shelter. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

“I get it. I really understand what you’re saying. It’s the hardest thing in the world to let someone you love face danger, even the small things. My heart would never be the same if something happened to you either. This mixed up mess we’re living in makes it hard than ever to let you go. My heart stopped when you went tearing down the road when that gun went off. I love you. Those three little words don’t come close to what I’m feeling, but it’s the best I can do.”

“God, I want to make love right now,” Chay admitted. “But Ari comes first. We can wait.”

Alicia’s wry smile reflected his feelings. “We can wait.”