Never Have I Ever: Wanted my Brother’s Rival

The transformation in Eli over the past week was stark. Gone was the angry, sullen guy who’d glared at me like he was plotting my demise. In his stead was a happy, playful guy who lit up when I came into the room and went out of his way to make sure I was taking care of myself.

He’d also turned into the world’s biggest cuddlebug and snuggled up to me at every opportunity. I’d never had that, not even in my failed relationships.

I was used to physical touch being the kickoff for more. My exes had used touch to tell me they wanted sex. A cuddle was never just a cuddle, and I hadn’t realized how much I’d craved closeness and emotional intimacy, and not just sex or physical pleasure. Now I knew I needed more, and there was no turning back.

Eli was special. He stirred things in me no one ever had. The silly, snarky part of me that loved sparring with him. The arrogant and bossy part that loved reducing him to a mess of whimpering need. The overwhelmed and lonely part that felt recharged and rejuvenated after snuggles and casual conversation. The possessive part that loved seeing him in my clothes and wanted to pamper and spoil him so he knew how much I cared.

Things between us were complicated, and now that the repairs were done, our time hiding away in my house together was over.

Zzzzz. Zzzzz. Zzzzz.

I dug my phone out of my pocket and sighed.

“Hello, Lilian,” I greeted my father’s secretary.

“Good evening, Weston.” Her familiar voice was all business.

I’d known Lilian since she started working for my father almost fifteen years ago, and she still wouldn’t use my preferred name, even though I’d told her I didn’t like being called Weston dozens of times.

“Your father wants to schedule a meeting with you.”

“He does?”

“He has some matters he wishes to discuss with you.”

“I see.” That was code for he wanted to lecture me.

“He has an opening in his schedule on Sunday.”

“Sunday?” This time I didn’t bother hiding my frustration.

“Yes, Sunday at ten in the morning. He’ll meet you at his New York office.”

“He wants me to travel to New York for a discussion?”

“His schedule is very busy for the next month. That is the most convenient for him.”

“Fine. I’ll be there.”

“Wonderful,” she said absently. “And he needs you to represent him at a function on Saturday.”

“What kind of function?”

“A dinner. The McMahon group is hosting, and your father is unable to attend.”

Wearily I rubbed my eyes. This was the real reason my father wanted me to travel to New York, to gather intel at some stuffy dinner and report everything to him at our meeting the next day.

“And if I can’t go?”

I didn’t have any plans for the weekend, but I’d just come off twelve straight days of work and a week of dealing with the flood. The last thing I wanted was to waste my weekend meeting with my father or any of his associates.

“Your contract states you must make yourself available for all functions and meetings your father wishes for you to attend.” Her crisp tone was both condescending and professional. “I’ve sent your travel arrangements and accommodations, along with the pertinent details, to your email.”

I repressed a groan and dropped my head back against the seat of my truck. I was twenty-three, and my father still didn’t trust me to book a few flights or pick my own hotel.

“Thanks, Lilian.”

“Have a good evening, Weston.”

I opened my work email. Lilian’s was right there at the top. “Just fucking perfect.”

I didn’t want to deal with this right now. I’d planned on going inside and having some cuddle time with Eli before I had to drop him back off at the house.

At least my flight didn’t leave until tomorrow morning, but the fact that they’d booked me on a six a.m. flight when I didn’t have to be in the city until eight in the evening was one more example of my father’s micromanaging.

Feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, I got out of the truck and headed into the house.

“Hey.” Eli frowned as I kicked off my boots. “What’s wrong?”

“Work stuff. I just found out I have to go out of town this weekend.”

“Oh.” Sadness flickered over his features. “That sucks.”

“Yeah. I was hoping to have a few days off for once. But my father says jump, so I say how high.”

“When do you leave?”

“I’m flying out at six tomorrow.”

“In the morning?” He grimaced. “Gross.”

“Yeah. The car is coming to take me to the airport at three.”

“How long are you going to be there?”

“I come back Sunday night.”

“And go right back to work on Monday?”

“Yup.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “That’s not okay. You need a break.”

“Breaks are for people who don’t screw up at sixteen and have to spend the rest of their lives proving they’re not a fuckup.”

He pursed his lips. “I really don’t like your dad.”

“Not many people do.” I stripped off my jacket. “I talked to one of your roommates today. Matt, or was it Jax? The blond one.”

Eli snickered. “That’s Matt. Jax is his boyfriend.”

“Those two have no shame. I was doing a final check of the work site when they came home. My truck was in the driveway, and they parked beside it, so it’s not like they didn’t know someone was there.”

He laughed. “Let me guess. You came upstairs, and they were either dry humping on the couch or slamming each other against the walls and making out like they hadn’t seen each other in a decade.”

“The couch one.”

“They do love that couch. I imagine a black light would be very revealing.”

“Trust me when I say the last thing you want to do is use a black light in a house rented out to five college guys.”

“I bet every room would look like a crime scene.” He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around my middle.

I hugged him tight as he nuzzled his cheek into my neck.

His closeness helped settle the anger and leftover shock of finding out about my new weekend plans. I kissed his hair, and he sighed in contentment.

“Did you eat?” I asked.

He nodded against me. “Are you hungry?”

“I had a late lunch.” I kissed his hair again. “What time do you want me to take you back to the house?”

He untangled himself from me and looked at the floor. “I can text Matt to pick me up.”

“I don’t mind driving you. And you don’t have to leave now.”

“I should get back. I have a show scheduled in a few hours that I need to get ready for.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him to stay and do his show here like last weekend, but I held back. I was exhausted, and not only did I have an impromptu business trip to get organized for, but I also needed to get to sleep early so I wouldn’t be a zombie while traveling.

“Okay. But I’ll drive you whenever you want. You don’t need to bother your roommate.”

“I’ll go pack up my stuff. Might as well go now.”

“I’ll change while you do that.”

He nodded, his eyes sad and his features drawn, and as he turned and headed up the stairs, his steps slow and his shoulders stooped, something inside me broke.

We might have only been back in each other’s lives for a few weeks, but I refused to go back to a life without him in it. I’d felt more alive and happier this past week than I had in… ever, and he was the reason.

I was in love with him. It was as simple and obvious as that.

We’d had sex a few times since our first coming together, and every time with him was just as meaningful and joyous as the last. Sex had never been like that for me. The laughter and teasing, the back-and-forth as he pushed my buttons, the way he melted under me as he got out of his head and trusted me to make him feel good.

The first time, two nights ago, had been the most profound sexual experience of my life, and it had nothing to do with “taking” Eli’s virginity. It had been the way he’d looked at me. How he’d allowed himself to be vulnerable and hadn’t held back his tears. He’d let me see him, and he hadn’t let me hide myself from him. He’d trusted me, and that meant everything.

The protective instincts I had for him now were a far cry from the brotherly ones I’d felt six months ago when I’d found his cam channel. Now I wanted to protect him because he was mine.

I’d gone into this knowing any sort of relationship with him would be temporary. The situation with Gray complicated things, but Eli also had plans to go to grad school in California in a few months. I’d never imagined falling for him, but now that I had, I was determined to hold on to it for as long as possible.

An idea popped into my head, and I nearly laughed in the middle of my foyer. Eli wasn’t the type who did well with being confronted by things or given ultimatums. He responded better when he figured them out for himself.

Telling him about my feelings or asking him to be my boyfriend would create a power imbalance in our relationship. Eli’s inexperience with both dating and friendships made him vulnerable. He was the smartest person I’d ever met, but he wasn’t good with people. I wanted him to be with me because it made him happy, because he chose to spend time with me.

Labeling our relationship would make it difficult for him to say no to things. At his core, Eli was a people pleaser, and he had trouble standing up for himself or articulating his needs. Confronting him with my feelings if he didn’t share them would put him on the spot, and the last thing I wanted was to make him uncomfortable or feel like he had to reciprocate when he didn’t.

A few nights ago, we’d been talking about movies we liked, and he’d mentioned that the premise behind Inception, the idea of planting thoughts in people’s subconscious to make them believe they were their own, was the reason it was one of his favorites.

Maybe I couldn’t deep dive into his subconscious and leave clues I wanted more with him, but I could show him and wait for him to figure it out.

Time to kick operation wait until Eli figures out he’s my boyfriend into high gear.