Never Have I Ever: Wanted my Brother’s Rival

Mom: are you sure you’re okay?

Eli: I’m fine

Mom: this friend you’re staying with…

I rolled my eyes. My mother was about as subtle as an anvil.

Eli: just a friend

Mom: are you sure? You know you can tell me if he’s more

Eli: I know. But he’s just a friend

I’d told my parents I was bi when I was eighteen, and they’d seamlessly accepted it. The only downside to being out in my family was that my mother saw every person in my life as a potential partner.

Eli: are you coming back tonight?

Mom: we are. Should be home around 7

The click of the front door opening startled me, and I looked up from my phone.

“West?” I called.

“It’s me,” he called back.

Eli: drive safe

Mom: we will. Come see us soon?

Eli: will do. Love you

Mom: Love you too

“Shit, sorry.”

West stood in the door, looking sheepish. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“Nope.” I tucked my phone into my hoodie pocket. “You’re home early. Is something wrong?”

He leaned against the doorjamb, a soft smile on his perfect lips.

Flutters of happiness and something I couldn’t identify moved through my chest.

“The floors are in worse shape than we thought.” He raked a hand through his hair. “We had to pause the work to dry them out more.”

“That’s not good. But it’s good you get a break. You’ve been working nonstop.”

“Yeah. That part is nice. Are your parents home?”

“Funny you should ask.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and wiggled it at him. “I was just texting Mom. She said they’ll be home tonight. Why?”

“The power should be coming back on in the east side within the hour. I thought we could go over and clean out their fridge for them. Give them a break when they get home.”

“How do you know the power is coming on?” I frowned. “I checked the outage map ten minutes ago, and it was still saying tomorrow.”

“I have a contact,” he said evasively.

“Of course you do,” I said, affection creeping into my tone.

He unzipped his work jacket. “Let me grab a shower, and we’ll head over.”

I nodded, not trusting my voice. He smiled and pushed off from the door. It meant a lot he’d thought of my family and wanted to help them.

Forty minutes later, West had parked his work truck in the back lot of my parents’ building, and we were on our way to their apartment with our hands full of cleaning supplies.

A heavy feeling settled in my chest as I led West over to the stairwell and up to the third floor. I wasn’t ashamed of my family or where we lived, but I couldn’t help shooting little glances at him. This was the guy who’d grown up in a mansion. He had to be judging, right?

“This it?” he asked as we stopped in front of their door.

“Yup.” I unlocked it and pushed it open.

He followed me inside. The apartment was clean but messy. Toys and random objects were piled in corners and crammed on most surfaces. They’d left the blinds open, and enough light filtered in that we could make our way to the small galley kitchen without needing to use the lanterns we’d brought.

“Don’t mind the mess.” My cheeks flamed hot.

“This isn’t messy. It’s lived in.” He put the tub of supplies on the floor and dug around in it. “Here.” He handed me an N95 respirator, a pair of latex gloves, and safety goggles. “Put this on too.” He pulled a long-sleeved shirt out of the tub.

I was doing up the last button on the shirt when a soft click echoed in the room. The hum of the fridge coming back online was a welcome sound.

“Oh good.” West finished buttoning up his overshirt. “That will make things easier.” He dug an electric kettle out of the bin.

“Did that come from the same place as Mary Poppins’ purse?” I flipped on the overhead light. “What else do you have in there?”

He chuckled and handed me the kettle. “I took notes when the crew was cleaning out your fridge.”

“What do you mean?”

“The cleaning crew I had come in. I got them to do the fridge when they were finished with the laundry area.”

“You didn’t need to do that.”

“It was no trouble.” He motioned to the sink. “They weren’t able to salvage all the containers, but I put in an order to replace the ones they had to throw out.”

“That was really nice of you.” I went to the sink and filled the kettle.

“Least I could do after all this crap.”

I plugged the kettle in and set it to boil as West pulled the fridge from the wall and unplugged it.

We donned the rest of our PPE. Then West handed me a garbage bag, and we carefully opened the fridge.

It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Most of the fresh food had been emptied before they’d left.

West went through the condiments and tossed everything that had spoiled, while I made a cleaning solution with the hot water from the kettle.

Working in companionable silence, we scrubbed down every nook and cranny of the fridge, then put everything we’d been able to salvage back.

The freezer was a different story, and I couldn’t help keeping a mental tally as we emptied it. So much waste, and the cost to replace everything was way outside what my parents could afford.

When all the spoiled food was in the trash bags, we scrubbed it clean and double-checked to make sure we hadn’t missed any spots.

“It’s not too bad.” West peeled off his gloves and threw them into the trash. “I have some charcoal we can put inside while we go shopping.”

“Shopping?” I tossed my gloves into the trash and pulled off my mask.

“So they have food when they come home. We can’t do a full restock because the fridge needs to air out, but I have an electric cooler at home we can fill so they’ll at least have enough for a few days. I should have thought of this sooner, but things with the house have been so crazy it slipped my mind.”

My chest squeezed, and my throat burned. He was so thoughtful, so kind. How had I ever thought he was an asshole?

“Eli?” he asked.

Unable to answer, I launched myself into his arms and clung to him. He held me tight as I buried my face in his neck and breathed him in.

“You okay, sweetheart?” he asked softly.

“Yeah. Just needed to hug you.”

He kissed my temple and held me tighter, giving me space to process the maelstrom of thoughts rushing through my head.

Why did he have to be so perfect? Why was he the only person I was truly comfortable with? Who not only saw me but accepted me exactly how I was?

Needing to show him how much this meant to me, how much he meant to me, I tilted my face up for a kiss.

He brushed his mouth over mine, the contact fleeting and gentle. I stood still and soaked in every moment, every sensation, as he sipped at my lips.

“We should get to the store,” he said, his voice husky and his lips tickling mine.

“We should.” I pressed one more kiss to his lips.

Groaning, he stepped back. “A kitchen next to a bag of spoiled food and cleaning supplies isn’t a place I would have thought I could get a boner, but here we are.” He waved at the bulge in his jeans.

I laughed, the last of my bad mood dissipating, and waved at my semi. “Hard same.”

“It certainly is hard.” He grinned lasciviously.

“Behave before I jump you in my mother’s kitchen.” I scolded.

“I’ll get this double-bagged. Can you get the other stuff packed up?”

Working quickly, we packed everything up and headed out of the apartment.

We made a stop at the house to grab the cooler and change into clean clothes, then drove to a market nearby.

Shopping with West was fun. We made our way through the aisles, laughing and joking. He’d asked me what kinds of things my brother and sisters liked and were allowed to have, and he kept adding treats to the shopping cart for them.

At one point, he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to kiss my cheek. He didn’t even look around to see who could be nearby. He just did it.

The rush from being claimed in public and having someone so unashamed to be with me wasn’t something I was used to.

Usually, when I was around other people, I spent the whole time in my head second-guessing everything I said or did. The constant loop of self-criticism and doubt was exhausting, and it meant I never truly relaxed or was myself.

But West was different. I never felt the need to hide from him. He didn’t get angry at me for being weird. Never told me to shut up when I compulsively shared the random knowledge I’d acquired over the years. He encouraged me to play and have fun, and bantered with me when I was in a silly mood.

He let me be… me.

Friends did all that, right? Friends cared about each other and shared things and had fun.

So why did it feel like more with West? Was it because we were fooling around? Biologically, shared orgasms created a sense of bonding with your partner. Was that what this was?

Thankfully, my ability to mentally multitask meant I was able to hide my inner turmoil and enjoy our shopping trip. West didn’t need to be dragged into my issues.

“Hungry?” He asked when we’d set up the cooler and stocked my parents’ small kitchen with food. It was just after six.

“Yeah. We could have stew again. Or are you sick of that after having it for lunch?”

“Do you want to eat out tonight?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Heating leftovers is easier.”

“Maybe. But I think we deserve a treat after the week we’ve had.”

“Yeah. Okay.” I tamped down my flare of happiness.

Hanging out in his house in secret was one thing, but going out together was something. Or was it? It was just dinner. It didn’t have to mean anything. It wasn’t like it was a date.

“I just have to take my insulin.”

He nodded and leaned against the wall.

I ducked into the bathroom, checked my sugar, and gave myself my shot. All the while telling myself that we were just two friends going to get some food, nothing more.

As he drove to a restaurant, West kept up a steady stream of chatter, and I was finally over my weirdness as he pulled into the lot of a colorfully painted building on the outskirts of the west side.

The place reminded me of one of the more artsy coffee shops near school, only more sophisticated. The prices on the menu board certainly reflected where the café was, and I nearly choked as I scanned our options.

“See anything you like?” he asked as we stood in front of the counter.

“What do you usually get?”

“Their soup and sandwich combos are good if you want something lighter. The protein bowls are my usual go-to when I’m hungry.”

I checked the section of protein bowls. “Is that what you’re getting?”

“Yeah. Do you need a few more minutes?”

“No. I’m good.”

We stepped up to the till, and the older woman behind the counter came to us, a big smile on her face. “Well, hello, stranger. We’ve missed you this week,” she said to West.

He grinned ruefully and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. “I’ve missed you guys too. It’s been a crazy few days.”

“What can I get for you tonight?” she flicked her gaze at me. Her eyes softened.

That was… strange. Two guys getting dinner together didn’t necessarily mean a date. Did she think we were on a date?

“I’ll get the southwest steak bowl and a water.” He lightly elbowed me in the side.

“The Mediterranean chicken bowl and a water, please.”

She rang up our orders, and West waved off my offer to split the bill. Did friends buy dinner for their friends?

My fingers itched to text Gray and ask. He was used to my random questions when I was confused about social etiquette. But I couldn’t ask without him wanting to know who I was having dinner with. I couldn’t lie to him, so I was on my own. Or was I?

West slipped his arm around my waist, leaned in, and spoke in my ear.

“How about you grab a table, and I’ll bring the food when it’s ready?”

His hot breath ghosted over my skin. I shivered. My ears were a major erogenous zone, something I hadn’t realized until West started playing with them.

“Yeah. Okay,” I said shakily.

He deliberately brushed his nose against my ear.

“Tease,” I muttered so the nice lady behind the counter didn’t hear.

“Maybe.” He squeezed my butt in a way that was both totally casual and completely sensual. “Go put your fine ass in a chair before I grope you some more.”

My jaw dropped at the mental image, and West laughed. “You’re so much fun to tease.”

“Not my fault you’re easily amused,” I groused.

He winked, and my stomach fluttered and flip-flopped.

Not wanting to embarrass myself any further, I spun away from him and hurried over to a table in the back corner of the café. When I was settled, I checked on West. He was chatting animatedly with the woman behind the counter. Good.

I pulled out my phone and brought up my text thread with Kai.

Eli: what does it mean when the person you’re fooling around with buys you dinner?

The message was read before I could put my phone away. The dots appeared, then disappeared.

Eli: are you too busy to talk?

Kai: no, but I have so many questions

Eli: I have a friend with benefits, and he brought me to a café and is buying me dinner. What does that mean?

Kai: it depends

Eli: not helpful

Kai: I know. I wish I could tell you exactly what’s going on, but I can’t without being in his head

Eli: do friends do this kind of thing?

Kai: some do

Eli: have you?

Kai: no

Kai: hi, this is Alex. I stole Kai’s phone

My chest clenched, but I forced out a breath to stop myself from panicking. Alex was a great guy, and he’d been nothing but welcoming and friendly toward me. We’d spent hours chatting about books, and he and Kai constantly extended invitations to hang out. I didn’t take them up on them often, but Alex was a good person, and he cared about me.

Kai: so your fwb took you out to dinner?

Eli: this is still Alex, right?

Kai: yeah. Kai can have his phone back after we figure this out

I glanced at the counter. West was still immersed in his conversation.

Eli: yeah. He said we deserved a treat after the week we’ve had and brought me to a café he likes. He paid for dinner. And he grabbed my ass

Kai: the dinner part could be a friends thing. But the ass-grabbing thing makes it tricky

Eli: tricky?

Kai: yeah. Some people are flirty, and it doesn’t mean anything but others aren’t

Kai: you should text Beck. He’s the dating expert

Eli: I don’t want to bother him

Kai: you won’t. He likes solving things for people. He’s a fixer

Kai: kai again

Kai: This guy, is he good to you? Does he know he’ll have to deal with me and your brother if he hurts you?

Kai: alex here. I also need this info in case he’s a dick and I need to rally the guys

Kai: it’s kai again. Does Gray know about this?

Eli: no, and he can’t find out

Eli: it’s complicated

Kai: do you trust this guy?

Eli: yes

Kai: promise me you’ll tell me if he hurts you

Kai: alex here. And us too. Your big bros got your back

My eyes burned as I reread their messages. My roommates had made a joke a few months ago about how they were all unofficially my big brothers, but it still hit hard that they cared enough to want to protect me.

Eli: I promise

Kai: text beck

Kai: he’ll have a better idea

Eli: I will

I waited to see if either one would respond, and I was about to put my phone away when a voice message appeared in the thread. That was strange.

I tapped it and pressed the phone to my ear.

“What happens to bad boys when they take my phone without permission?” Kai’s voice came over the line, his tone low and growly.

“And what are you going to do about it, old man?” Alex taunted.

The sounds of footsteps and low growls filled the line. A door slammed, a series of thuds, rustling material, and creaking bed springs. A low moan, another deep growl. Scuffling, grunts and groans, and huffs of air.

“Oh fuck,” Alex said, his voice pleasure-drunk but still holding a note of challenge. “That all you got, gramps?”

The message cut out, and a tray landed on the table in front of me.

“You look like you got caught watching porn.” West slid into the seat across from me.

“I kinda did.” I cleared my throat and shut down my phone. “Only I wasn’t watching it.”

“I’m going to need some context.” West set our bowls in front of us.

“I was texting with Kai and Alex, and they accidentally made and sent me a voice message of them getting their sexy on.”

“What was on it?” He unrolled his cutlery from a cloth napkin.

“Pretty sure I heard Kai chase Alex through his apartment and throw him on the bed so they could fight it out. And the start of one of Kai’s marathon edging sessions.”

West’s hand stilled on the cap of his water bottle. “I’m sorry, what?”

“They’re kinky as fuck.” I smirked and freed my cutlery. “And loud. You can hear everything they do through the walls. None of my roommates are shy. Beck’s room is under mine, and he and Finn are always going at it in there. They haven’t closed the vent that connects our rooms, even though I told them about it and they know I can hear them. They’re exhibitionists, though. So it makes sense.”

“Exhibitionists?”

“Oh, yeah. They hook up all over campus. They have this spot in the library they like. I’ve heard them talking about it.”

“Do you like listening to them?” he asked carefully.

“Sometimes. It’s not so much them I enjoy, more the live sex show. Listening to people who love each other making love is hot, and it doesn’t hurt that they both have filthy mouths.”

West cleared his throat and stabbed his fork into his food.

“Matt and Jax are so oblivious it’s funny. I’ve seen them on the couch a few times, in Matt’s room when they’ve left the door open, and the bathroom is one of their favorites. They think the water covers up their sex sounds, but spoiler alert, it doesn’t. And the kitchen once. That was quite the surprise, walking in there to get a drink and seeing Jax with his face in Matt’s ass while he was bent over the counter.”

West slowly chewed a bite of food, his eyes wide.

“And Alex and Kai have no shame. Half the time it sounds like they’re trying to slam each other through the walls. A few weeks ago, Alex asked me to grab his hoodie from his room one night after Kai left. The pile of straps and the giant dildo on the bed explained all the noise I’d heard earlier.”

“This conversation is both incredibly arousing and a little concerning.”

“Concerning how?” I asked.

“Because I have to look your roommates in the face and try not to picture them doing all those things if there’s ever another issue at the house.”

I snickered. “Sorry, not sorry.”

He shifted in his chair.

“This place is nice.” I moved the conversation away from sex. If this was only a friends thing, then maybe flirting with him wasn’t the best idea.

“It’s my favorite place in town. The food is incredible, and I like that they have no idea who I am.”

“They don’t?”

“Marilyn, that’s who you met, and her wife, Tabitha, aren’t local. They inherited Tabby’s great-aunt’s house about six months ago and moved here on a whim to open the café. It’s nice to talk to people who treat me like any other regular and know nothing about my past.”

“You don’t want people to recognize you?”

He sighed and stabbed at his food. “It’s easier if they don’t. People either see me as my father’s son or as the kid who fucked up and left town. I’d rather be anonymous than have to deal with the gossip and questions.”

We ate in silence for a few minutes. West seemed more subdued than usual, and I felt bad for killing the fun vibe we’d had going on. But his mood didn’t last long, and soon we were joking and laughing as we finished our food.

“That was fun,” I said when we were in his truck and on the way back to the house. “I’ve never been to a restaurant like that before.”

“You’ve never been to a café?” He flicked a curious look at me, then returned his eyes to the road.

“No.” I flushed hot and toyed with the strap of my seat belt. “It’s different from the coffee shops around campus,” I finished lamely.

I meant I’d never been to a restaurant with anyone who wasn’t family before.

“There’s this molecular gastronomy place I like in Seattle. They have a taster’s package you can order ahead of time, and they’ll develop a fully custom menu for you based on your food preferences and restrictions. They assign you a private server who preps the food in front of you and breaks down the science while you eat. It’s an incredible experience for someone with only a basic understanding of chemistry. I imagine it would be even better for a scientist.”

“That sounds fun.”

He patted my knee. “I’ll take you there sometime.”

My stomach flip-flopped. Taking me to the city to go to a specific restaurant didn’t sound like a friends thing. But maybe it was?

West pulled the truck into the driveway of his house. When had we gotten here? I must have zoned out for a few minutes.

Zzzzz. Zzzzz. Zzzzz.

West pulled his phone out of his pocket and groaned. “Sorry. I have to get this. Hello?”

I sat quietly as he talked to whoever was on the other end of the line about construction stuff.

“I haven’t had a chance to check my email.” West rolled his eyes and motioned for me to get out of the truck.

His answer was muffled as I closed the door.

He came around the side of the truck and put his hand on the small of my back. “I understand. I’ll get this sorted out for you tonight.”

Feeling more than a little off-balance, I let West lead me up the steps to the house. He handed me the keys, and I unlocked the door while he finished his call. He closed the door behind us.

“You need to work now?” I slipped the keys into his pocket.

“Looks like.” He rolled his neck and let out a weary sigh. “Apparently, I have a half dozen emails sitting in my inbox that need to be addressed immediately.”

“That sucks.” I tried to hide my disappointment. I’d hoped we could hang out now that we were home, but he probably wanted some time alone after spending half the day with me.

“Big-time.” He kicked off his shoes. “Shouldn’t take too long. I give you permission to drag me out of my office if I’m not done in thirty minutes.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. It would be nice to spend the evening hanging out and not working. God knows I do enough of that already.”

“Okay. I’ll come get you in half an hour if you’re not already done.”

He kissed my cheek and lightly patted my shoulder. “Thanks.” He headed up the stairs, his feet dragging and his shoulders stooped.

My mouth went dry. He wanted to hang out when he was done. Was that code for he wanted to mess around? Did I want to mess around?

Memories of last night came flooding back to me. I glanced down at my dick, which was in the process of chubbing up. Guessed that answered that.

Tamping down the nerves and excitement rushing through me in equal measure, I checked the time on my phone. I’d get my answers in thirty minutes.