SWNOVELS Nanny for the Neighbors: Chapter 70
I wake up in an empty bed.
It’s evening now; red and gold light filters into the dim room through the cracks in Sebastian’s blinds. I lie there for a second, touching the cold pillow by my head. Now that I’m alone again, the old sadness comes creeping back, squeezing my throat, pressing into my chest. I roll onto my side, curling a hand over my stomach. Guilt weighs down on me.
I should be happy. I’m so glad that the guys are here. I’m so glad that they want to be with me. But even that’s not enough to ease the ache inside me. It’s going to take more than a week and a shag to get over the news of my infertility.
But that’s not the point of having boyfriends, is it? The people you love aren’t meant to heal your pain. No one can do that for you. But they can support you while you work through it.
I hear giggles coming from the living room and sit up. There are more giggles, a squeal, and then deep, male laughter. The pain in my chest eases slightly. I slip out of bed, dress quickly, and follow the sound of the noise.
Seb and Jack are in the lounge, playing with Cami. I lean in the doorway and watch. They’ve laid out Cami’s playmat, and Sebastian is stacking her favourite pink blocks in towers. Cami is bopping up and down in Jack’s arms, giggling as she watches. She’s wearing a green dinosaur onesie with little felt spikes running down the back. I’ve never seen it before, so I guess the guys must have picked it up in America.
As I watch, Sebastian takes Cami and holds her upright, walking her through the piles of blocks. She starts kicking them over, beaming, while Jack narrates in a grave voice.
“Cami the Giant Chameleon made her way through the great city, leaving chaos in her wake. Buildings collapsed before her. The city streets were filled with flame. Bridges crumbled and trees were ripped from their roots. But the Giant Cami showed no mercy.”
Cami almost trips over her bunny toy, and he swoops in to pull it out of the way.
“Citizens ran screaming, desperate to get away from her huge feet.” He tickles one of Cami’s feet, making her kick and squeal. Seb walks her over to the tallest tower of blocks.
Jack gasps. “She approached the clock tower. It was the tallest, strongest building in the city. Surely even the Cami monster couldn’t topple such a massive structure!”
Cami tries to kick it over—and misses. Her foot goes wide. She tries again and almost falls over. Sebastian swings her in his arms, and she flies into the tower. Cubes rain onto the floor, scattering across the living room.
“It was over!” Jack cries. “The Giant Chameleon had crushed the last building in the city! She raised her fists in triumph—”
Cami giggles and flops onto her stomach.
“—And then she had a rest,” Jack improvises. “Her energy was spent. The ashes of the once-thriving metropolis burned and glowed around her. She had completed her quest. She had razed the evil city of Bristol to the ground.” He reaches over and picks her up, tossing her into the air. She shouts happily, grabbing at his hair.
I lean in the doorway, my eyes burning as I watch them play together. Jack and Seb look more relaxed than I’ve ever seen them. And Cami is absolutely delighted, basking in the attention from her dads.
There’s a footstep in the corridor, then I feel a warm body behind me. I lean back into Cyrus, letting him wrap his arms around my waist.
“How do you feel?” He asks quietly, his breath brushing my hair.
“Fine. Happy.”
I expect him to nod and drop it, but he just frowns. His face is pinched. “I’m serious. Are you okay?” He rubs his eyes. “Shit, that’s a stupid question. Of course, you’re not okay. I just…” He sighs, touching my cheek. “I’m so sorry, babe. I know you really wanted kids.”
I look down. I manage to keep it together for about two seconds before I start to cry.
Cyrus makes a low noise deep in his chest. “Bethie.” He pulls me into him, and I press my face into his shirt, letting the tears soak into the soft cotton. His hand sifts slowly through my hair.
“It still hurts,” I admit. My throat is so tight it hurts to speak. “So much.”
“I know,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry. So sorry, honey.”
I cry for a while as he holds me. The sobs are silent; the others don’t hear them. It’s like me and Cyrus are in our own little private bubble. Eventually, I pull away, wiping my cheeks dry. In the background, Cami gabbles happily.
“It’ll take a while for it to stop hurting. Maybe it always will.” I sniffle, and he kisses the top of my head. “But this helps.”
“This?” He points at himself, then the other guys. “Sex?”
“No. Well, yes, but.” I nod at the lounge. We both watch as Cami pats Seb’s stomach, and he pretends to fall to the ground, knocked flat by her enormous strength. She laughs uproariously. “This. I thought I was going to be alone. But I’m not.”
Cyrus is silent for a long time. So long, I think he hasn’t heard me. Then he presses his face into my neck. “Me, neither,” he murmurs, and I almost break apart.
All this time, I’ve been so caught up in my own shitty drama that I didn’t stop to think about the guys’ less-than-ideal family situations. Cyrus got disowned. Seb’s parents abandoned and lied to him. Jack’s family ignored him in favour of his athletic siblings. None of them have perfect families, but that hasn’t stopped them from making their own.
“You’re not,” I say quietly. “None of us are, anymore.”
He presses his lips gently to mine. Warmth courses through me like sunlight. The ache in my chest eases slightly. I lean forward, trying to deepen the kiss—
Something soft hits the side of my face, and we pull apart, looking down at the pink block at our feet. Cami laughs and claps her hands together on the mat.
“Holy shit,” Cyrus says. “Did she throw that?”
“She’s got a good overhand,” Jack mutters. “Don’t worry, honey. Even if you turn out to like sports, I’ll still love you.”
“I think that’s our cue to join them,” I say, and Cyrus nods, taking my hand and leading me to the crinkly play mat. Cami beams as we sit down, rolling sideways to land between our laps. I stroke her little dinosaur spikes, and she wriggles happily.
Seb checks his smart watch. “Takeaway’s here.” He stands up and heads out, dropping one last kiss on my head.
Jack leans over and unplugs my phone from the socket in the wall. “I charged your phone, Beth. You’ll probably want to catch up. It’s been dinging like mad.”
I groan. “Oh, God. I can’t look. How bad is it?”
He laughs, scanning the screen. “Well, Cyrus probably drained your battery all by himself, with the number of notifications from him. You’ve got a lot from Benny, too.” He scrolls down. “There’s also some guy called Carl? His email is marked as urgent, so you should probably check it out.”
“Carl?” It takes me a second to place that name, and then I lunge forward, grabbing the phone. I cuddle Cami to me as I scan the email, my blood rushing.
Hello Bethany, it’s Carl, Sarah’s husband. We met briefly a few days ago. I hope you don’t mind, I found your email address on an online job listing.
Sarah told me everything. I had no idea that she had another child, and I’m so sorry that you received such a poor welcome at our house. I can’t imagine how you must have felt.
The twins (Hattie and Henri, they’re both six years old and terrible) happened to eavesdrop on us while we were discussing you (they’re going through a spy phase), and now they’re dying to meet their older sister. They talk about you every day. If you want to, I’d love to arrange a meeting. I know it would mean a lot to them. I doubt Sarah would come, but I think it’s important that the twins know their family, and I’d love to meet a daughter-in-law.
Regards,
Carl
My mouth falls open.
Cyrus leans over my shoulder, bouncing Cami’s toy bunny onto her lap. “What is it?”
“My birth mum’s husband. He wants me to meet my sister and brother.” I lick my lips, my heart thumping. “He called me his ‘daughter-in-law’.”
That can’t be right, can it? I think I’m fully denounced as Sarah’s daughter, so any father-in-law duties have been waived.
But, hey. I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He wants me to meet my siblings. They want to meet me. I could honestly cry.
I show the phone to Cyrus, and his face breaks into a smile. “Finally. Someone who realises how lucky they are to be related to you. I like this Carl guy.”
Cami squeals in my lap, smacking the phone out of my hand and frowning at me.
“Oh, I’m sorry, was I ignoring you?” I ask, tickling her cheek. “Do you need some attention? Maybe some kisses?” I pick her up and start covering her in kisses, and she roars with laughter as Cyrus joins in.
“I love you,” I tell her, pressing one last kiss to her tiny nose. She throws her arms up in triumph.
A key rattles in the door. “Food’s here,” Seb calls, stepping back into the flat holding two delicious-smelling bags of fried chicken. We shuffle up, and he lays out the food and plastic cutlery on the floor, picnic-style.
We don’t say much as we eat. The sun sets behind us, flooding the guys’ living room with gold light. I’m curled up between Jack and Seb while Cyrus sprawls on the mat, feeding Cami her baby food. It may just be fried chicken on the floor, but it’s the best meal I’ve had in ages.
“No!” Cyrus says suddenly. “That’s not for you, ladybug!”
I look down to see Cami sticking her hand in my gravy. She licks it off, then smiles up at me, her pink cheeks smeared with pureed carrot, her little pigtails lopsided.
My chest fills with so much love I can barely breathe. I close my eyes. Sunlight warms my back. Someone kisses my cheek, but I don’t know who.
Three boyfriends, shut-down ovaries, and a secret doorstep baby are hardly what I envisioned when I used to imagine my future family. But right now, they’re more than enough.
So much more.