Nadir

“Sometimes the wound is where the light enters.” - Life Line

I look at Edmund and frown with frustration. I spent the last couple of hours getting him ready for his school picture day but then his father decided to give him ice cream and now we are back to square one.

‘It’s daddy.’ He says when he notices the look on my face.

Joshua walks into the room and has this grin on his face.

‘Babe you know how hard it is to get your son ready.’ I complain feeling the emotions build up.

‘You better not start crying.’ He warns.

My emotions have been all over the place of late, it was like this when we were expecting Edmund four years ago and now it’s the same that we have conceived. Pregnancy is one of the most beautiful journeys but how can I shake off the feeling of what happened to the twins? I keep worrying that something will go wrong. I wish I had Joshua’s faith because he seems to have it altogether for the both of us.

‘You won’t believe who I ran into today.’

‘You won’t digress Joshua Jacobs, your son is a mess.’

‘Does he really need to take the photo.’

‘It’s an important day at their school and those photos will be looked at even when he grows.’

‘Does your old school have photos of you?’

I look at him feeling frustrated.

‘Okay baby I will clean him up.’

‘So who did you run into?’

‘Jackie and Peggy.’

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah.’

Jackie and I fell out and there was no way of rekindling what we shared. Up until now, I don’t understand why we are where we are aside from the fact that she was involved with Ems and Ems hasn’t been our favorite person. Peggy and Martha are still friends but not as close as they were. I always laugh when I think of how in the world I created those two ended up as sisters: I find myself laughing at the thought.

‘What?’

‘Nothing babe.’

I haven’t told Joshua about my imaginary world. I didn’t want him being tormented by the thought that whilst he was waiting on me for two years, I was living in another world with his brother. Martha knows about it though and we laugh our lungs out whenever we can.

‘Maybe the two of you should rekindle what you lost, you were good friends weren’t you.’

‘Leave the sleeping dogs to sleep husband.’

He sighs.

‘Some day we will need to talk about this.’

‘Some day.’

‘Mama my tummy hurts.’ Edmund says walking into the room and I shoot Joshua daggers.

‘Next time I won’t give him the ice cream.’ He says defensively before rushing out of the room and leaving me to deal with our son.

‘What am I supposed to do with you child?’

He comes over and wraps his little hands around my neck.

‘I don’t want to die mama, give me medicine.’

I laugh at his innocence.

‘You are not dying.’

‘So can I eat some more ice cream when I feel better.’

‘Yes child of mine, when you feel better.’

He holds me a little tighter and my heart feels at peace. I wouldn’t ask for more. This is home for me.

..

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️