Nadir

I am not sure if my conversation with Joshua is supposed to make me feel better because it doesn’t. I decide we should talk about something else as I am starting to get depressed, I love Martha a whole lot but I can’t also control her it’s conflicting.

‘We should go out and eat.’

‘I thought you were supposed to cook for me.’

‘I came early hoping we would go ingredients shopping but all well.’

‘Tonight let me make it up to you Joshua, you have been really nice to me.’

‘And how do you want to do that?’

‘I could cook for you?’

‘Or we could just order out. It’s already late besides you have just arrived and with your sister I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to start cooking.’

He has a point and I offer to pay the bill since I am the one that stood him up it’s only right that I take up the bill.

‘What would you like to eat?’ I ask him

‘Look at you being modest.’ He says jokingly

‘Joshua I stood you up, allow me to do this.’

‘Okay, do you have rice and eggs in the house?’

‘Yes why?’

‘Soy sauce?’

‘I should think so.’

‘Great, then we have dinner. Just show me where everything is and go and take a bath whilst I make you the best rice you have ever tasted.’

‘You flatter yourself too much Mister.’

‘Just show me where they are.’

I open the cabinets and remove everything he has asked for then go to the bedroom to shower. When I stand under the water I feel the tears build up, I am not sure at what point I went wrong with Martha. I believe I have been doing the best any sister could have done for her and yet here she is hitting back for things I am not even aware I did. Wouldn’t it have been better for her to tell me where I went wrong? What happened to normal people communicating? The tears freely fall and continue to get washed with the water. I spend a little too much time in the bathroom because I allow myself to cry it out, when done I get into comfortable pajamas and join Joshua in the kitchen who has finished dishing up and just drying the dishes in the sink.

‘Don’t tell me I took that much time for you to be done.’

‘I think you have even finished early.’

I roll my eyes making him laugh.

‘It smells divine in here.’

‘I am the best self taught chef you will ever meet and trust me you will get so addicted to my food I will start charging you.’

‘With the food that we had at lunch, I have a feeling you might be telling the truth.’

He dishes up for us and hands me a plate before asking that we move to the living room.

‘You know there is nothing there.’

‘Just come with me.’

I take a deep breath and walk with him and I am instantly brought to a halt.

‘Joshua where did this come from?’

‘I have a friend on speed dial.’

‘This is too much.’

‘You have had a stressful day, why not?’

The living room has been turned into a cozy room with comfortable cushions laid down on a carpet and there is a fleece blanket. His laptop is connected and on the screen is the Netflix logo, there is a bottle of wine and two wine glasses and a charcuterie board.

I turn to look at him, my eyes filled with tears all over again.

‘What are we doing?’

‘We are about to have dinner and maybe try to watch a movie but we will probably be too tired so we will sleep through it all.’

‘You know that’s not what I mean.’

‘Why do I feel like if I answer this question, you might kick me out.’

I chuckle lightly.

‘Nandy I know it’s crazy but I like you and we are both adults with your consent I would love to get to know you and see where this is going. I genuinely like you.’

‘We just met and I was super drunk when you did meet me.’

‘I hate it when people talk about fate and all but there should be a reason why we met, I am not saying we are going to be the Romeo and Juliet of our generation but I really want to see where this is going.’

‘I hate that story.’

‘Makes the two of us.’

We find ourselves laughing.

‘Okay when we just try to build a friendship and see where it goes?’

‘You want us to go with the flow of the wind?’

‘Well I don’t know.’

‘I don’t do that.’ He says coming close and I can feel my heart beating really fast.

‘Joshua if we are going to do this I want us to do it right.’

‘Sure.’ He responds kissing my forehead

He leads me to one of the cushions and we settle down. He asks me what I would love to watch and I suggest we just listen to some music instead, my concentration levels are usually low when I have had a stressful day. He goes to Youtube and makes a music playlist, Joshua is not just an amazing cook – his taste in music is amazing too and I should be either too stressed or I am sprung over him because how can a man be this good looking, have a listening ear, go out of his way to make me feel better, be a great cook and have amazing taste in music?

‘You are staring at me.’

‘You are a good looking man Joshua.’

‘Definitely sprung.’ I say to myself when he smiles widely exposing his perfect white teeth.

…

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️