Nadir

I stand on the mirror and look at my body for a while thinking about whether I am ready to go out there. The bikinis that Martha packed are very beautiful but I am still skeptical about the world seeing my stretches marks.

‘You look beautiful.’ She says.

‘I am not sure I am ready to do this.’ I say getting a throw over so that I can cover myself.

‘Of course you are ready to do this and we will do it together.’

I sigh deeply.

She rolls her eyes when her phone starts to ring and she cuts the line.

‘What’s up?’

‘It’s Ems, he wants to know where we are.’

‘Why?’

‘I posted a photo on my Instagram and he has been calling since. He says you blocked him.’

I chuckle because I haven’t blocked him or Joshua or anyone else. I guess they just don’t have the courage to reach me.

‘And he is calling again.’

‘Give me your phone.’ I say.

‘Are you sure?’

‘Hand it to me.’

She looks skeptical about giving me but she finally does. I go out to the chairs on the balcony and sit.

‘Hey Emmanuel, Martha tells me you have been calling.’

Silence.

‘You might as well just tell me what you want.’

‘How are you?’

‘We both know that is not what you want to know, if that was the case you would have called me on my line but you haven’t. So tell me what you want from my sister.’

‘Nandy just give me your location because I really need to see you.’

‘Why? So that you can finish me off? So that you can crush the last of me that your brother left?’

Silence.

‘Ems I would appreciate it if you just stopped reaching out. Your family’s part in my story is done. There is no need for you to try and clean up.’

‘Nandy I need to see you, it’s important that we sit down and talk. I have so much explaining to do. I really need you to give me a chance.’

‘I am listening.’

‘In person.’

I open Martha’s WhatsApp and send him the location.

‘You will find me.’ I say before cutting the line.

‘Are you sure about this?’

I didn’t even realize that she was listening to the conversation.

‘If Ems wants to talk, let him talk. Now let me get ready for this meeting.’ I say walking back into the chalet.

I check through the clothes she packed and settle for a long black dress which holds my bosom but is loose at the bottom. I put on slippers and finish off by wearing my favorite perfume and dropping my braids.

‘Nandy I have a bad feeling about this. Those people hurt you and it looks to me like you are digging old wounds. Why not allow the pain to heal first?’

‘What makes you think this pain will ever heal?’

‘Ems is here.’ She says reading a message that has just come through on her phone.

‘Let him through to the balcony and give us some privacy.’

‘I am not sure about this.’

‘You don’t have to be.’

She goes to the door when there is a knock.

‘Call me when you need me.’ She tells me as she lets him in.

‘You can come through.’ I say going to the balcony.

He follows me and settles next to me.

‘You wanted to see me?’ I ask without batting an eye.

He rubs his palms together. He has grown his beard and if I am being honest he looks rather scruffy.

‘I wanted to check on you.’

‘Emmanuel I didn’t die and we were never friends.’

He opens his mouth to say something but closes it.

‘I thought so.’

‘Nandy I messed up, I thought if I stayed away from my brother’s business then for once he would do the right thing. I just didn’t realize that he would never for once own up.’

‘Joshua is not a child, he was sober minded when he made all the decisions that he did so why did you feel the need to be the one to act like the bigger person?’

‘You know what Emmanuel.’ I add quickly.

‘I will probably never forgive Joshua for what he did but you are the worst culprit. You had the audacity to talk to me and be friendly to me and my sister when you knew all along that I was living on borrowed time. You, your brother, your mother and your entire family came to my home to ask for my hand in marriage. You people came and ruined my entire life when you knew that there was another woman in the picture and you all didn’t wait for my kids to get cold in the morgue, you put the final nail on the coffin.’

‘It wasn’t supposed to end like that.’

‘I am here wondering why you are the one trying to clean up his mess. Ems you were an accomplice in this but Joshua did his part. It was him I fell in love with, he that swept me off my feet and made me feel like I was home. It was Joshua I was going to spend the rest of my life with so why are you the one here today in my presence trying to clean up dirt that you didn’t make?’

‘Because I could have fought for you, I could have done something but I was a coward.’

‘What are you talking about?’

He sighs deeply and leans back in his chair.

..

Kwenje’s Girl

Winnie

🙇🏾‍♀️