My Secret Love

After I put in a hellish night with little sleep I get ready for school with apprehension roiling in my gut. I call for my sister, who looks at me worriedly after she saw the wreck I was last night, we hop in the car and drive to school. Tori got out once we parked in the student lot and gave me a rare hug before she took off to see her friends.

I took a deep cleansing breath and started walking to the school when Min called my name from behind and ran to catch up with me. "How are you holding up," she asked. "So far so good even thought I feel like I'm going to throw up" I answered. I privately hope I don't see them together first thing this morning or I may just crash and burn before the day even starts.

Min gives me a quick side hug. "I'm here for you, what are bff's for?" I smile gratefully and enter the school pushing through the crowded hallway to my locker. So far so good, I head towards my homeroom and catch a glimpse of Logan standing in the doorway of his homeroom with Kyle. I shift my eyes back to the front before he can react and go to homeroom. I'm in the clear until lunch time now.

Of course since I'm dreading the afternoon the morning flies by with my mind on anything but the teachers and the information they are trying to pass along! I seriously consider skipping lunch but am already in trouble for skipping yesterday afternoon so I get in line and just watch my feet the entire way up to get food I have no appetite for anyway. I go through the doors to the tables outside and sit down waiting for Min to join me.

I hear someone chattering a mile a minute and look up to see Kim wrapped around Logan walking to a table nearby. I hurriedly look down with a huge lump forming in my throat. Min walks out and saw the expression on my face and hurriedly stands in front of me to hide the couple from my sight. "Are you alright, do you want to move inside,"she whispers to me. I shake my head, "I need to accept this or I will never get through this day. Just have to learn to suck it up." I paste a smile on my face and stomp food down past the lump in my throat. Somehow before lunch was over I was laughing and talking to Min somewhat normally.

I grabbed my books from my locker and made my way to Chemistry class. As usual we had the classroom discussion first. I could feel Logan's eyes on me but I kept my head down actually paying attention to at least this class today. The equipment was passed around and the experiment instructions and chemical list was passed out and we grouped up at our table.

Logan said "hi" looking at me strangely. I glanced up from the instructions and briefly said hi back. He asked if I was ok since I missed yesterday afternoon. "Female werewolf stuff" I briefly explained. He looked puzzled "Oh" but thankfully dropped the subject. We started on the experiment and took turns mixing chemicals. Min chattered away as usual and we answered her fairly normally. Surprisingly, Logan never mentioned his new girlfriend. The class finally came to near the end and we cleaned up the experiment and wrote down the results as a group and turned it into Mr. Ares.

I was never so glad to hear the bell and get away from my favorite class. The rest of the day flew and I actually learned more about green power and how to design houses so they would be more energy efficient. Finally the last class, gym, I sucked in a deep breath and went to the locker room to change. I stretched and got warmed up and ran track most of the class undisturbed. Logan came up to me the last 15 minutes and coaxed me to work out with weights even though my heart wasn't in it. He thinks I'm not well even though werewolves don't get sick.

I get dressed and run out of the school as soon as the final bell rung. I waited for Tori to come out and as soon as she was in the car I took off like a shot. Dad was grilling supper outside when I got home. Tori gently patted my shoulder and went out to ask if he needed help, which was my usual gig. She helped him finish preparing the meal, telling Dad that I had a lot of homework and wanted to get a head start on it. I trudged wearily up to my room and stretched facedown on my bed. I just keep repeating to myself I will get through this.

I ate supper with my Dad and Tori when Tori let me know it was ready. Since Tori has been so awesome to me today I cleaned up the dishes and slipped her a note promising her a girls movie day Saturday. We go to the movies, usually to see a chick flick and hang out at the local diner for burgers and fries afterward.

I head up to my room and spend the evening trying to make sense of my homework and call it an early night hoping the next day would be better. At least it would be Friday and I would have a break for the weekend of the drama that is my life right now.