My Kingdom Come book 1: The Saints We See

664 standard years after the signing of the Alliance

Valenna handed Murray the carefully altered form. She wiped her sweaty palms on her designer jeans.

Murray took the form and typed some information into his computer. “They upped the numbers again?”

“Yeah. They got a grant to expand the coolers further.” Valenna swallowed. “It’s been amazing.”

“Well, it doesn’t seem to have cut down your workload at all. You still have to come in every week!” He chuckled.

“Yeah.” Valenna laughed weakly. She couldn’t tell if he was suspicious or not. Her senses were dulling the more blood she drank.

Murray opened the file drawer. In his desk. It seemed to slide back forever, Murray’s arm stretching further and further back. Valenna blinked and his arm was normal sized again. One moment he was slipping the paper into a folder in the drawer and the next moment he was holding a full cooler out to her. She blinked again.

“Are you okay, Valenna?” Murray asked in concern.

“Yeah, yeah, I just didn’t sleep well last night. My…my grandmother just passed.”

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.” The expression on his face was puzzled. Or was it sympathetic? Valenna couldn’t tell. She smiled weakly and turned to leave.

“Will you be coming back for the other cooler?”

“Oh.” Valenna laughed half heartedly. She could have taken them both at once, but she’d already started leaving. “Yeah, I’ll be right back.” She carried the cooler out to the parking lot. She opened the back door to the van and dropped the cooler inside. She opened the cooler and stared at the plump bags of blood inside. Instead of feeling excited she just felt tired. She shut the cooler and went back inside for the other cooler.

* * *

Valenna unlocked her apartment door, went inside and shut the door behind her. It stank badly. She stared at the five extra coolers of blood waiting for her in the living room. The thirst in her body drove her forward. She stumbled to the old beat up lazy boy sitting in the middle of the floor and sank into it. She had made her full delivery to Lord Karek, she deserved to enjoy herself now.

She opened the first cooler and began to drink. She emptied bag after bag, tossing the empties into the growing pile on the floor around her chair. A pile she had started weeks ago and never bothered to clean up.

Before she could finish her third cooler of blood, she began to vomit. She stumbled to the kitchen and vomited blood into the sink until her stomach was empty. She sank to the floor and began to sob.

Drinking human blood was no longer the decedent pleasure it had once been. She couldn’t get that warm buzz from it anymore. She always vomited before she could swallow down enough, no matter how fast, or how slowly she drank it. And drinking blood no longer quenched her thirst, only that buzz, the high would satisfy her.

Valenna became aware she was laying in a sticky puddle of vomited blood. I’m so fucking pathetic. I should die. She thought vehemently. Then a thought occurred to her. Maybe what she needed was fresh blood. Blood straight from the source. She sat up and wiped her cheek on her sleeve.

Excitement began to rise in her heart. She grinned. She hadn’t felt excited in a long time. She staggered to her feet and smoothed her hair down. Where could she find fresh blood at this time of night?

She went out and began wandering the streets. She finally came upon a man sleeping in a gully that ran behind some bushes. She grinned and began to creep down to where he was. She was clumsier than usual. She slipped and knocked some rocks down the gully. The man startled awake. He pulled a gun out from under his the ragged blanket he was laying on and pointed it at her.

Valenna laughed and relaxed into the weave of time space.

“Hey.” The man said. “Are you alright?”

Valenna blinked. That wasn’t right. She tried to relax into the weave of time-space again.

“Do you need help?” The man climbed up to where she was. He felt at Valenna’s neck for a pulse. “Shit.” He muttered. He leaned over her and wiped her face with his sleeve. “Man, someone really beat you bad.”

Valenna tried to tell him she was fine, but she couldn’t move.

The man leaned down, sealed his mouth over hers and blew forceful puff of air into her mouth, then he straightened and began to do chest contractions on her.

Valenna tried to move anything, tried to speak, tried to scream. Nothing happened. The man leaned over her and breathed into her again. Then he straightened and pressed roughly against her sternum half sining to himself, “staying alive, staying alive, ooh, ooh, ooh…” suddenly he slowed like a music box running down and froze in place.

Valenna tried to move again, nothing happened. Then the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Something extremely powerful was manifesting nearby. Valenna tried frantically to move, but nothing happened.

Valenna.

She didn’t know where the voice was coming from. It seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It vibrated with more power and calm than she had ever experienced before.

She couldn’t not answer. The words were pulled out of her soul. ‘Yes lord?’

‘Look at this face. Isn’t it pitiable?’

Valenna looked up. The face was pale and haggard. Dark circles were under the eyes, and the eyes had a wild haunted look in them. The hair was a tangled mess, some sort of disgusting goo was worked into the hair on one side. There was blood all over the lower half of the face.

Valenna began to hyperventilate. That face was hers. She turned her head and saw the man above her body, frozen in the act of trying to save her life. He was skinny and rough looking, but he was clean except where he had dirtied himself by touching her. His hair and beard were neat and untangled. His clothes were worn but washed.

‘Shouldn’t I have pity on this poor creature?’ The voice asked.

Valenna collapsed on the ground, and hid her face. ’She should die, lord. She gives nothing to the universe. She only takes.’

‘Why does she live this way?’ The voice was unbearable tender.

‘Because I’m so hungry!’ Valenna howled. ’Nothing satisfies me. I’m a monster. Please, have mercy and kill me, lord.’

‘Drink from me. Then you will be satisfied.’

‘Who are you, lord?’ Valenna wailed, wishing the voice would stop. That the power would make her stop. Would end her suffering.

’I am…’ and then there was something that there was no word for. Existence. Life, stretching eternally back and forever forward. Connection. Knowing. Power. The source of everything that is. The one who separates emptiness from voids.

This being was everything that Valenna was not. ’I don’t know you, lord!’

‘I know you. I see you inside and out. Come to me, I am your satisfaction.’

Longing filed Valenna. Could she ever find satisfaction again? She didn’t understand how a being like this could take any interest in her, or why they would give of themselves to someone like her, but she was desperate. Hesitantly she held out a pleading hand. The power moved closer to Valenna. The hunger in her leapt up like a devouring flame. ’Please end me, lord!’ She threw herself on her face and flung her hands out in supplication like a slave.

Suddenly the thing, the power, the voice, was touching her and something from it was pouring softly into her.

‘Be filled, my child. Be healed. Be at peace. I remove the emptiness from you.’ The complete power and gentleness in the voice was overwhelming and soothing all at once.

Valenna’s body unclenched and relaxed. The world began to move again. Valenna gasped in a breath. She was in her body, looking up at the star spangled night sky and a scruffy man with blood around his mouth, in his beard.

“Oh, there you are!” The man said breathlessly. “You scared me. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

Valenna sat up. “Um.” She smelled like death. The man smelled of soap and earth. She wasn’t thirsty. She felt calm; whole and satisfied for the first time in years. “No. I’m fine. Sorry. I must have slipped. I was coming from a costume party.” The lie slipped effortlessly from her lips.

“Oh!” The man sat back on his heels. “You must have hit your head or something when you fell. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?”

“Yeah.” Valenna smiled.

’Your watch.’

“What?” Valenna glanced around.

The man cocked his head, puzzled. “Um, I said you must have hit your head. Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?”

Valenna laughed. “I’m so sorry to have bothered you.”

’Your watch.’

She looked down at her arm. She pulled up the sleeve of her leather jacket and unclipped her Rolex. “Here. Take this.”

The man drew back. “Oh, no. I didn’t help you to get anything. We all fall on hard times and need help sometimes.”

“Exactly.” Valenna answered. “This is what you need to get back on your feet. Take it please. I have others.”

The man looked at her hesitantly.

“Take it.” Valenna leaned towards him.

“Okay. Thank you. Thank you very much.” The man took it. He had a nice smile.

Valenna felt warmth bloom in her chest. She hadn’t noticed something like a nice smile in a very long time. “I’m so sorry to have bothered you. I’ll get out of your hair. Have a good night.”

“Good night.” The man said softly.

Valenna got to her feet and effortlessly climbed back up to the sidewalk. She started walking home. She enjoyed the fresh air on her skin and in her lungs. All her senses were working normally again. She could hear and smell for miles the softness of the planet settling into the peacefulness of night. She could hear the night creatures rustling through the grass and flying through the air on their errands. The sounds of humans in the houses she passed were clear. Families resting peacefully, lovers reveling in each other’s bodies, a couple watching a movie together, content in each other’s quiet presence. How had she not realized that she was traveling through life blind and deaf?

She climbed the stairs to her apartment. She could smell the stench coming from inside. It made her want to vomit. She steeled herself and opened the door. It was disgusting. Stale blood. Old blood bags piled everywhere. Cockroaches scuttling through the filth.

Valenna went over and opened a window. She looked out at the city lights. Listened to the humans going about their lives. She had come here for pleasure and nearly lost everything because of her greed.

She turned around and looked at the wreck she had made of her life. No more human blood for me. She decided. “Is that what you want from me?” She whispered.

There was no answer.

Valenna could feel the content in her body. She had no desire to feed. She was full. Satisfied. She knew that if she looked to human blood to find that again, she would only lose herself. This was the right choice.

She went to the kitchen and found a box of garbage bags under the sink. She brought it out to the living room and began filling trash bags with the empty blood bags. She tied bag after full bag shut and lined them up at the front door to take down to the dumpster. Once she had cleared the floor of blood bags she cracked open one of the coolers. She swallowed hard at the sight of the plump chilled bags of blood.

She was sure that if she drank one, she would again be able to enjoy its velvet tones, feel the pleasure of the blood-high human blood used to give her. Her body wanted it. She shut the cooler and left the apartment.

She ran down the stairs and walked quickly to her van. She unlocked it and got in. Her hands were shaking. She glanced into the back of the van. There was nothing there but empty blood bags. She shook her head at the mess and smell. How had Mavehn not noticed something was wrong with her?

She pulled her cell phone out. “Call Mavehn,” she instructed the device, glad it had the capability to take verbal directions. Her hands were shaking so badly she wasn’t sure she would have been able to dial manually.

“Hello?”

“Mavehn. I need out.”

“What?”

“Please. I need to get off planet. I need a different assignment. I can’t stay here anymore.”

There was a pause. “What’s going on Valenna?”

“I…I’m losing myself to this blood, Mavehn. I can’t function like this anymore. I need to get out of here.”

“Valenna, what you need is to settle down and drink a few bags of blood. It’ll calm your nerves. Do you want me to have some sent over to you?”

Valenna clenched her jaw. “No Mavehn. Aren’t you listening? Haven’t you noticed? I’m losing myself! I need out!”

Mahven chuckled. “Valenna, Valenna. Of course I’ve noticed. It happens to everyone out here. But that’s not my problem. My job is to collect your shipments and bring them to lord Karek. Your job, the one you made a blood contract to carry out, is to procure fifty gallons of blood a week for lord Karek. If I’m not mistaken, you still have twenty years left on that contract. Get back to work. Your next shipment is due in three days.” He hung up.

Valenna stared out her dirty windshield. One hand still held the phone to her ear the other clutched at the steering wheel of her van. What do I do? She was not going back to the way things had been.

There was always the alternative in her contract. If she didn’t deliver, lord Karek would take her as a blood slave for the remainder of her contract. She swallowed. She had thought that death was preferable to becoming a blood slave, but she had died and she didn’t want to die like that again. But did I die? A tiny part of her wondered.

Valenna frowned and thought about what had happened last night. No one would believe her if she told them what she had experienced, they would say she had hallucinated the entire thing. But it had felt very real. One of the most real experiences she’d ever had. Valenna rubbed her forehead in frustration. Maybe she hadn’t died, maybe it was just a hallucination. Regardless, nothing was worth losing herself the way she had, the way she would if she stayed on this planet any longer.

“Are you real, voice?” She whispered. Please be real. If there wasn’t something out there that knew her the way that voice, that power had known and accepted her; when she was at her lowest and dirtiest…did she just make up that experience because she wanted to be loved? Her stomach clenched. Maybe Mavehn was right. Maybe she just needed to drink some more blood. She should just go upstairs. There were two and half coolers of blood that were going to spoil soon. She shouldn’t let it go to waste.

Valenna took a deep breath. She sat up and pulled the visor down to look at herself and make sure she looked presentable. People/sentients were waking up and coming downstairs, getting in their cars to go to work. As soon as she saw her reflection Valenna stared to laugh. She looked horrendous. There was still blood and vomit in her hair. Blood on her face. She looked down. Her clothes were covered in vomit.

Valenna smiled to herself. She put her phone in the pocket of her jacket and pulled out her keys. She put the keys into the ignition and started the van. She was done. Anything would be better than the life she had made for herself here.

She began driving towards the empty parking lot where she passed her deliveries to Mavehn. There was nothing here that she needed. She would wait there for him to take her to lord Karek. She stopped at a red light.

Someone approached her window. She ignored them, hoping they wouldn’t ask for a handout. There was a knock on the glass. Valenna sighed. She pressed the button to roll her window down and turned to look. Then frowned slightly in surprise. It was the homeless man from last night.

He grinned at her. “Hey! Sorry to bother you, I can’t believe I’m seeing you, here. Last night was so surreal, I almost thought it was a dream, but I still had the watch! Um, I got a job!”

“What?” Valenna exclaimed.

“Yeah! Crazy story, I’ve been trying to get a job for weeks. I met a guy in the pawn shop,” a car honked behind Valenna. The light had turned green. “Here. I wanted to return this to you.” He thrust the watch at her.

“You keep it.” The car honked again, more insistently this time.

“Your watch helped me get what I needed. Thank you!” He thrust it into her hand and ran back to the sidewalk.

Valenna watched him walk away numbly for a moment. A car zoomed around her honking wildly. The driver flipped her off. Valenna grimaced and looked forward. The light was just turning red again. Oops.

She leaned back in her seat and rolled up her window. She looked down at the watch in her hand, the man’s words echoing in her mind. She slipped the watch into her pocket.

“Voice?” That sounded so stupid, but Valenna didn’t know what else to call it. “You said you’re my satisfaction, that you took my emptiness out of me. You made me come back to life last night. Even if I didn’t die, I was pretty much dead and now I’m not. I…don’t ever want to be empty like that again. I’m trying to change. If you’re real, if you’re all those things you said you are, then please…I know I don’t deserve your help, but you seemed to want to help me. Please help me, my lord.” A rightness clicked through Valenna. It was like the feeling she got when she stepped back into normal space-time, her cells all realigning to the frequency they were supposed to vibrate at.

“My lord,” Valenna whispered again. Maybe it was a hallucination, but it had been real to her. It had saved her and set her on a new path. The light turned green and Valenna drove through the intersection.