My Fiancée Hates Me

Just then, a button from my chest popped and propelled itself from my chest to Garett's forehead and rendered him unconscious. "Holy Magnolia!" Maura yelled.

I quickly covered myself afterwards.

Maura went to get me something, while I stayed with the unconscious Garett and felt very guilty.

I thought that I might as well rest his head on my lap and have him lying on the floor. I took off his glasses and rested them to the side.

Garett is here too...

I was supposed to meet Garett last year, but it did not happen until now.

After my marriage with Prince Erik in my first life, I heard Garett went up north and then I never saw him again...

"I am back," Maura said.

She helped me put on a bandeau top under my uniform.

"So much better," I said with a deep breath.

"It's amazing how you know Garrett."

"...I have never met him before," I replied.

"Really? It did not look that way. I will go get a wet towel," Maura said as she hurried off.

Garett started showing signs that he was waking up.

His beautiful emerald green eyes peeked out from under his eyelids.

"Are you alright, Garett?" I asked in a small voice.

"...A fairy..."

I chuckled softly. He must still be in a daze.

"I am not a fairy," I said.

I suppose he broke out of his daze soon afterwards because his face turned into a deep red shade. He began scrambling to find his glasses and quickly scooted towards the bookshelves.

"Y-Y-Y-You..."

"You could have rested on my lap a bit longer?" I said as I gestured him back to my lap by patting my lap.

"N-No, thank you!"

Ah, these cousins are really similar in reactions or is it just boys of their age are like this. Garett was known as a cold beauty to those who knew what he looks like underneath his glasses. Seeing Garett act as if he is a child is refreshing. Far from cold beauty, he is just a cute child like this.

It almost makes me want to bully him...

Maura came back with a soaked handkerchief.

"Great! You are back now, Garett," Maura said. "Let me introduce our newest member, Arielle."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Garett..."

"Pleasure to meet you too..."

He had avoided looking into my eyes.

The red mark left by my button showed itself through his bangs. I rubbed his head slightly with my fingers.

"Does it still hurt?" I asked him.

"N-No," he answered with a flushed face. He got up abruptly. "I am calling it an early day today."

"Did I do something to upset him?" I asked Maura.

Other than the fact I knocked him unconscious...

"He is like that with everyone."

His personality has not changed even in this life...

Maura showed me back to the dorms and communal showers and baths that were separated by gender. It was a rather thorough tour from how Maura gave a slight history of almost everything that was in sight.

The day was finally finished. I quickly changed out of my uniform and into a long-sleeved buttoned shirt and a long skirt.

It feels good to be in my own clothes again. I am just not comfortable to change into my pajamas just yet, or this is my refusal to sleep. Ever since I died the first time, I would often remember back to that fatefu day when I am sleeping alone. It was scary, dark, and painful...

I used a notebook in times like these to gather my thoughts.

Within this world, there is a clear line of things that were meant to happen and things that can be slightly altered.

If I followed my childhood exactly, typically the same events would follow. If I tried to diverge from certain major events like cutting my finger on a paper knife, it would change to getting a cut from a kitchen knife. It would be considered an unavoidable event.

I jotted down almost all of the significant events that I could remember. The significant, or should I say impactful, events were usually nearly impossible to change. I suspected that meetings with people that have been influential people in my life would not change.

I met Charlotte at the same tea party we first met in my first life along with countless other individuals. After meeting Charlotte, I expected to meet Garett as he was also a person with strong ties to me. That was the first time I became unsure of why something that was outside of my influence was different from the original.

I had only deviated with minor events and my meetings with Prince Erik. It should not have had an effect on Garett, then why did Garett never show up at my home? We spent quite a lot of time together while we were young. No matter how much I waited, he never came in the end.

The only reasons that I can think of is that Prince Erik did something directly or indirectly to this world's Garett, an enemy unknown to me manipulated people around me, this is a completely different world, and or I am not the only one who retained their memories...

I cannot imagine a reason as to why someone would want to manipulate Garett other than to spite me...

Does Garett also retain memories from his first life? What should I do if there are more people standing in my way?

What if Garett is standing in my way this time?

...Again...Do I have to...

I thought that I should jot down a timeline in the form of a lighthearted diary form. Call it paranoia or not, I would not like anyone especially Erik knowing that this is my second life.

I closed my journal shortly afterwards.

I thought that I might as well get some night air since I was not going to sleep anytime soon.

Erik was alive right now. I should be happy, but I feel an indescribable loneliness at the same time. This Erik was Erik, but at the same time, he is not my Erik.

I will never relive those memories we shared together, nor will we be able to create new ones with him...

Maura handed me my uniform in the morning.

She had changed the front part to have an open diamond cutout in the front and added a white buttoned up bandeau for the chest area. Rather than a uniform, it looked more like fashionable clothing wear. I asked her if it was fine to wear this altered uniform. The purpose of wearing a uniform was to look like everyone else. Maura informed me that it was alright since I would have been the only one to stand out because I was the only one with a light pink uniform. She also thought of changing the design of the outdated uniforms since a long time ago and that any new additions to mine would serve as a prototype for the future.

"Pl-Please take care of me," I stuttered in front of everyone before the library's opening time.

How embarrassing...

"So cute!" the girls screamed.

I was quickly surrounded by the girls within seconds.

"This uniform is designed by you, Maura," a girl with orange hair asked Maura as she stared at my chest intensely.

"Yes! This is a prototype. If any of you have any suggestions, I am willing to take any right now. Afterwards, I will do the final touch ups and have new uniforms for everyone. Who knows... Maybe a fine gentleman will come here asking for your hands in marriage if he sees how cute you are in your uniforms."

"Frills!"

"Lace!"

"Pearls!"

The girls began screaming their thoughts for Maura as they surrounded her.

The girls lifted Maura onto a pedestal that was for some reason lying around.

"We shall not lose in cuteness to those Royal Maids! This is our age as Librarians!" Maura said excitedly.

"Empress Maura!" the girls shouted.

Apparently, uniform equals justice around this kingdom. The same can be said for their male counterpart. Almost every Royal Maid that has reached a marriageable age are able to get married quickly to their desired partners. The uniforms in Exurbia Library have not changed since the founding day. Compared to those Royal Maid uniforms, Exurbia Library uniforms are rather conservative and lack appeal to the younger generation.

Maura requested that I leave my uniform in her hands at the end of each day.

I feel that if her additions continue, the uniform will no longer resemble its former self any time soon.

I feel that Head Librarian will not like this when she comes back.

Maura pushed me onto Garett the first thing in the morning. Garett caught me at my shoulders.

Boys are strong even at a young age...

"W-What are you doing?" Garett screeched at Maura.

"Show Lady Arielle around and how to do her duties until she gets the hang of it."

"...I'm sorry," I apologized to him.

He released me at my shoulders.

"No, you did not do anything wrong...Anyways, why me?" he asked Maura irately.

"You slept on the job yesterday," Maura answered.

I twitched and held my face with my hands.

"That was..."

"Take care of Lady Arielle then," Maura said as she went away.

Garett pinched the bridge of his nose and then turned towards me.

"You!"

"Yes!" I accidentally replied with too much zest.

"Ah...For starters, just follow what I do."

Garett kindly led me around and quietly worked behind the scenes for the most part by putting books back. It seems that there was a special section for every book and a helpful label that would direct one to the exact area of where it needed to be placed.

Around midafternoon, Garett would switch to manning the front where he would help anyone with what they were looking for whether they had a book in mind or not.

Having shadowed him, I felt as though I learned a lot.

After rush hour, there would be a free time where Garett would use to read books instead of eating properly. The night service would also get rather busy with people rushing to return their books in time. With that, a whole day is over. The library was then deemed as closed and the last of our duties consisted of wiping down the counters and tables. The chairs would be cleaned in the morning.

"Garett, do you mind me asking why you came here as a Librarian?" I asked Garett.

Around this time, he should have been in Arundel...not all this way out in another country.

"...I liked books and came here mainly for the Asmaria research program. Nariel's information currently surpasses that of Arundel and all other surrounding countries. Becoming a Librarian especially to a library used by the Royal Family of Nariel allows me access to records firsthand and that are not available to other libraries in the world."

Was Garett always this kind of person?

"...Why are you so interested in Asmaria?"

Garett shot me a cold glare.

"What's it to you?" Garett asked coldly. He began backing me up into a corner and pushed me against the wall. "Do you think it's fine to continue asking questions without answering any of mine?"

I turned away from his gaze.

"It was a simple question. From where I come from, Asmaria Kingdom is not a very popular topic."

It was half true. My family was of the main branch and was containing multiple secrets of Asmaria Kingdom. They did not need to jump in the bandwagon with the others.

He released my shoulder.

"There are plenty of other people that came here for the same reasons," he said as he went back to placing the chairs in order.

"That may be true, but you are also one of the few people from Arundel. It cannot be helped if I am curious about my fellow countrymen."

"What about you?"

"I am a bit surprised that you would ask about me."

"I should be the most curious person here. Is it really that strange? Why did you come here when clearly you are a young lady with a good standing such as yourself?"

"How do you know if I come from a family of good standing?"

"...When you surround yourself with different types of Nobles, you develop a keen eye for this kind of things."

"I came here chasing after the man that I love and gave him all of my love, but he refuses to give me his time."

He seems perplexed by my answer.

"...That is quite a shame."

"I know that it is impossible to get a full refund for all the love that I have given him, but I would like half back," I said as I held out my hand towards him. "Half...if you would."

He blinked twice in disbelief and then turned red.

"H-H-How is that possible?"

"It was a joke," I said as I retracted my hand. "I could not possibly know you. The first time we met was here after all. I came here...for finding meaning in my life."

"Meaning?"

"...I thought I could by trying to live for myself for once. No matter where I search, there is nothing to make me full of hope. I am a truly empty person," I said as I pulled the curtains closed. "It is about time we leave now."‒‒‒‒‒‒‒‒‒‒‒‒‒‒‒