My Fault (Culpable Book 1)

I was going to need to keep my eye on Noah. Things could have gone bad the night before if my dad had found out what we were up to. I was worried about how to keep my private life hidden now that there were more than two people in the house. I didn’t let my two worlds mix. I was careful about that—I needed to be.

Same as every year, we were having races in the desert, and that day, I’d need to be there. They were crazy: rock music, drugs, expensive cars, and races until the sun came up or the cops came, but they almost never bothered us, since it all happened in the middle of nowhere. The girls were wild, everyone drank, and adrenaline was the perfect extra ingredient to make it the best night of your life—as long as you weren’t the loser.

Ronnie’s gang always competed against us. Whoever won got to keep the loser’s car, plus all the cash from the bets. It was dangerous, I knew that firsthand, and for that reason, everyone trusted me when it got down to the wire. Ronnie and I had a friendly deal, but it could be broken as easily as tearing up a sheet of paper, and that night I had to be on guard, not to mention win.

Noah would need to keep her mouth shut, so I stopped at her door before it was time to head to the hotel where the gala was happening.

I knocked three times and waited almost a minute before she came out.

“What do you want?” she grunted.

I walked past her into her room. Before my father had married her mother, it had been mine.

“You know this used to be my gym?” I said, walking over to her bed.

“Oh no, the poor little rich boy had to give up his machines,” she joked.

I stared at her, meaning to intimidate her, but as my eyes traced out the lines of her body, I couldn’t help but admire it. My friends were right, she was hot, and I didn’t know if that was good or bad, given my situation.

Her hair was done up elaborately, pulled back in a bun with curls framing her face. It looked elegant and easygoing at the same time. What surprised me the most, apart from the light-blue dress that hung to her feet and left little to the imagination, was her makeup: her skin looked like alabaster and her eyes like two bottomless wells. I didn’t usually like chicks with a bunch of makeup on, but I had to admit, those long eyelashes made me want to reach out and touch them, and those lips—that carmine color could make any man lose his mind.

I tried to restrain the unexpected desire that overtook me and made the first nasty remark that came into my head.

“Who did the paint job?” I asked. I could tell it had gotten under her skin when I saw the blood rise in her cheeks.

“I did it so you’d keep your eyes off me,” she said, turning around and grabbing a necklace off her nightstand. I could see her bare back and the silk of the dress like a waterfall.

Without even realizing it, I walked over. My fingers were aching to feel that skin that looked so soft…

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Seeing her up close, I noticed that not a single freckle was visible.

I took the necklace out of her hands and lifted it up as if I were going to help her. But she clearly didn’t trust me.

“Come on, little sister, am I that bad a guy?” I asked her, asking myself at the same time what the hell I was doing.

“You’re the worst,” she said, snatching it back. When I felt her skin graze mine, my hair stood up on end.

Dammit!

I stepped back, frustrated at the feelings she was causing. My desire was taking over, and it was killing me to think that not only could I not touch her, I could barely even look at her.

“I came to make sure you won’t mouth off tonight,” I said as she put on her necklace deftly.

“Mouth off about what?”

I was close enough to smell her perfume, which was almost intoxicating.

“You know I’ve got things to do after the gala, and I don’t want you making any smart comments when I tell my father I’ve got to go.”

“Oh, because you’ll have to work on the case, am I right?”

I grinned.

“You got it. Perfect. See you around, sister.”

“Not so fast, Nicholas.” I stopped a few feet from the door and froze as I noticed that tickle in my stomach when she said my name aloud. “What do I get out of all this?”

When I turned back, she had a smug, almost heart-shaped smile on her face.

“What you get is I won’t waste my time trying to make your life a living hell.”

Noah raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t see how you could do that.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to find out, either.”

“If you leave the gala, you’re taking me with you. There’s nothing that appeals to me less than being surrounded by people I don’t know at someone else’s party.”

“Sorry, Freckles, but as you might have realized, taxi driver’s not a job I aspire to.” As I said this, I pointed at my designer outfit.

“Well, find an excuse that includes both of us because I’m not going to play the perfect daughter while you take off for your secret illegal races.”

Shit. Just hearing her say it made me nervous.

“Fine, I guess I can make something up,” I said, just to put her off. When the time came for me to leave, she wouldn’t even notice.

“It’s amazing how you’ve managed to dupe everyone,” she said. “You know my mother thinks you’re the perfect son?”

“I am perfect in lots of ways, babe.” I couldn’t help it—I was enjoying the conversation. Arguing with this girl was highly stimulating. “Whenever you feel like it, I’ll show you.”

She looked at me self-righteously. Normally I couldn’t beat the girls off with a stick. Just one look and they were all up on me doing whatever they could to please me. I had a rep: women respected me and adored me at the same time. I gave them pleasure, and they gave me my space. It had always been like that since I was fourteen and learned what a handsome face and a good body could make a woman do. But there was Noah, staring me down at every second, completely unperturbed by my presence.

“Is that what you tell girls to get them into bed?” she asked. “Well, with me, it’s not going to work, so save your strength.” When I absorbed her words, I could feel an uncomfortable pressure in my pants.

I imagined tearing off her dress and doing all the things to her that I knew drove women wild. It would be fun, driving Noah wild until she couldn’t stop shouting my name.

Dammit.

“Don’t worry about that. I like women, not girls with pigtails and freckles.”

“I never wear pigtails, dumbass.”

I laughed and tried to relax. Now I did want to see her in pigtails!

“Well, I guess we’ve got a deal,” I said, thinking it was time for me to go.

“I guess you think coming in here and telling me what to do is a deal?”

“You got it, little sister. Bye now.”

Her eyes were ice-cold. I walked off, not bothering to look back, but once outside, I leaned against the wall. I’d never let myself get that out of control. Shit. I felt…exposed, like a thirteen-year-old boy.

I took out my phone and tried to clear my head.

I’ll come by your place before the party.

I walked down the hall to the steps.

I needed to blow off some steam before the night arrived, and with Anna was the best way to do it.

Twenty minutes later, I was at her door. Anna was the perfect cover-up for what would be happening that night. She was the daughter of one of the most important bankers in Los Angeles, and our fathers had known each other since college. Anna had grown up torturing me as she matured, and I had thrown myself at her feet when I was a kid and had no idea how to treat a woman.

We’d learned together, and we both knew what the other liked. Plus, she never got out of line and never asked for explanations.

When she came and opened the door, I dragged her off to her room.

“What are you doing?” she asked when I locked the door and wrapped my arms around her.

“It’s called fucking. You might have heard of it,” I responded as I threw her on the bed.

She smiled and pulled her dress up provocatively. Unlike Noah, she wore her hair down, and her dress was so short I didn’t have to work hard to get to what I was interested in.

“We’ll be late,” she complained, bringing her face close to mine and kissing me on the mouth.

“You know I don’t give a shit,” I said, taking her to ecstasy just as I found the calm I’d needed ever since that witch with freckles had first come into my life.

Fifteen minutes later, I was adjusting my tie and lighting a cigarette on Anna’s balcony.

She walked up beside me, her dress now back in place, hair combed, lips swollen from kissing.

“How do I look?” she said, pressing her body into mine.

I examined her. She was hot. Her body was hot. Her hair was dark brown, just like her eyes. I’d never gotten why Anna didn’t have a real boyfriend—she could have had anyone she wanted, and yet there she was, wasting time with a guy like me.

“Great,” I said, stepping away. I needed a few seconds to relax, finish my smoke, and visualize how this night was going to go.

“Are you nervous about Ronnie?” she asked, leaning against the railing. She knew I needed my space, my alone time. That was why I kept going back to her.

I took a drag and expelled the smoke slowly.

“Nah, I’m not nervous.” Irritated was more like it.

“Is it your stepmother?” She knew about my father’s new marriage and how much the situation bothered me despite my attempts to cover it up.

“Her daughter,” I said, stubbing the cigarette out on the sole of my shoe. “She doesn’t know who I am or what I’m capable of,” I continued.

“You want me to make it clear to her?” she asked, and just imagining Noah and Anna facing off was both hilarious and upsetting.

“No. I just need her to keep her mouth closed and stay out of my business.”

“You don’t want to take her down the road to perdition?” Anna asked. For a second, I thought, Yes, I do.

“Better to keep her away from it. I don’t want her giving me more problems like she did last night.”

The wind shook Anna’s hair away from her neck. I walked over to her and pushed it behind her ear. And then my brain looked for something that wasn’t there—that tattoo, the knot, wasn’t there, and just then, that tattoo was the only thing I wanted to kiss.

I let her go, even though she clearly wanted more.

“Let’s go,” I said. “We’re going to be late.”

“Thought you didn’t care.” Anna’s irritation was evident.

“Right you are,” I said, a little confused myself.