My Darling Jane (The Darlings)

As the plane climbs, I settle back into the plush seat of first class. The flight attendant offers me a drink, and I choose a whiskey, hoping it’ll make the flight to Atlanta pass quicker. The clink of ice in my glass is the last thing I remember.

I dream I’m on a camping trip, but it’s not just any trip—it’s a family outing, and not just with any family.

There’s a baby, with Jane’s smile and my hair. Jane holds him as he sleeps, and I gape at them in my dream. I’m obviously the dad in the dream, but it’s the me on the plane, and I’ve never seen that baby.

I look around at the forest we’re in, at the creek with our tents next to it. My parents are there, along with my sisters and their kids. Rayna burns marshmallows, while Callie’s trying to convince everyone to try guacamole on their s’mores. Demy and Zoe are wearing bathrobes and are going around and asking for the expensive shampoo.

A raccoon appears, and I scream like a little girl. It’s the same one with little human-looking hands and a sly expression. Londyn rushes to it with bits of burnt marshmallow.

The raccoon puts on a cape made from a diaper and declares itself the protector of our camp. He holds up a stick as a sword. Londyn appoints herself as the raccoon’s sidekick, and they run off into the forest.

I try to stop her, but I catch Jane’s eye, and everything else fades. She tells me it’s okay, that it’s just a dream, that the racoon isn’t really there, and she promises he doesn’t have rabies and Londyn will be fine. “The Lovers,” she says as she hands over the baby and—

I jerk away to reality and look around, hoping I didn’t yell out during the dream and embarrass myself.

I collect myself as the plane begins its descent to Atlanta, with the lingering image of that baby.

Staring out the window, I rub my jaw, trying to decipher what is going on inside me.

The plane shudders as wind hits us, and the pilot’s voice announces a severe thunderstorm warning and how our landing will be delayed as he circles around again.

The storm outside mirrors my thoughts. As lightning splits the sky, my mind only thinks of Jane and the dream.

Of possibilities.

Of surprises.

I recall going into the pharmacy to get the Plan B with Jane.

I recall the last time we talked when she brought up the Lovers, about a decision that reflected her true self . . .

I think about the baby in my dream.

What is my brain trying to tell me?

The plane’s wheels hit the runway an hour later. I stride to the nearest ticket desk. “Need a flight to New York, the next one you got,” I tell the agent.

Her fingers fly over her keyboard. She pauses, eyes meeting mine. “Got a seat on a flight in an hour.”

I nod. Camp can wait. I’ll text Coach and pay the fine.

Waiting for the flight, my mind’s on fire. This move’s gutsy, sure, but deep down, it feels right. Jane’s pulling away, and I’m in the dark about what’s waiting for me back in New York. But the urge to see her and close this growing distance between us is driving me mad.

The flight’s a haze of nerves. My leg can’t stop shaking. My head’s spinning.

What if Jane’s door’s shut for good?

What if I never should have left her in the first place?

Yet, as New York’s skyline draws near, peace takes over. This is it. I’ve got to lay everything out with Jane and spill my guts.

New York’s lights blink below. She’s down there. I can feel the bond from her.

Time to step up and grab hold of the future.

I’m coming for you, angel.