SWNOVELS My Dark Desire: Chapter 62
It shouldn’t have surprised me that Zach owned an armored vehicle in every state.
His personal driver zipped past lush golf courses and gigantic beach houses stretched across acres of white sand.
I stared out the window, hugging my duffel bag to my chest, my face undoubtedly bone-white. I didn’t care. Nothing mattered much after my conversation with Andras two days ago.
The gray skies cracked like an egg, rain pounding on the windows in thick sheets. Mother Nature was bawling her eyes out. I wanted to do the same, struggling to keep my stoic expression intact.
Zach flicked the A/C vent, so it didn’t blow on my bare arms. “Is there anything you’d like to see in the Hamptons, Octi?”
He’d made it a point to sit as close to me as possible.
Still, I’d ignored him the entire duration of the trip, plane ride included.
“Yes,” I hissed out. “I’d like to see your mansion from the rearview of my Prius after this is all done and dusted.”
If the rain bothered him, he didn’t show it.
He is healing, day by day, while your dreams slip further and further away.
Zach reclined in his leather seat, stretching out on the leg rest. “What did I do now?”
“Bringing your side piece to a vacation with your fiancée is low, even by your standards.”
“You’re not my side piece.” His eyes clung to my face in a way that made me happy and miserable at the same time. “And you need to stop with the Eileen thing.”
“Why?”
“Because… it’s complicated.”
“Seems pretty simple to me.”
“I need time.”
I snorted, whipping my head to look at him. “For what?”
“To figure things out.” He tugged the silky strands of his hair. “With you by my side.”
I averted my gaze to the window again, shaking my head. I wasn’t even mad at Zach. He’d made the rules clear from the start, and I’d agreed to them.
No. The object of my anger currently sat three-hundred plus miles away in Potomac.
Andras.
Andras Horvath with his ridiculous, bizarre ultimatum.
“Octi.” Zach grabbed my hand and deposited it in his lap, toying with my fingers. The gesture hurt more than it soothed me. It reminded me this would all be over in a few weeks, maybe even days. “What’s eating at you? Is it Andras? I can find you a better coach.”
“No. I sobered up from that fantasy,” I admitted as the car pulled past towering hedges and approached a French limestone mansion. “I’m going to continue fencing for the fun of it, but that’s it.”
“And coaching?” His fingers curled over mine in his lap as the car rolled along the pebbled path to the front door. “Would you still consider coaching me? You’re wonderful at it.”
His compliment licked my skin like a ray of sun.
“I suppose you need the practice.”
“Brat.” He brought the back of my hand to his lips, giving it a lingering kiss. “Stay close to me, okay?”
Eileen stood at the doorway in an impeccable burgundy dress and matching coat, her hands gloved and clasped before her.
I swallowed, slipping my hand from his. “Okay.”
Staying close to Zach proved impossible as the day progressed.
I resorted to sweating out my frustrations in the basement gym while Eileen dragged him venue hopping across Southamptons.
She hadn’t wasted any time when we stumbled out of the car. Her smile had vanished when she noticed me, but she bounced back quickly, perky and polite.
“Miss Ballantine, what a darling surprise.” She glanced at Zach as we made our way inside. “I thought you’d bring Natalie, if anything.”
You and me both.
I’d only agreed to come to keep track of the case.
Zach regularly communicated with the dream team via teleconference. I couldn’t risk missing any news. Not with victory over Vera so close.
Zach opened the door for us. “Farrow is my right hand.”
I almost cackled out a laugh, breathing out so only he could hear me, “All puns intended?”
Our shoulders brushed in the hall. We trailed about two feet behind Eileen.
He smirked, his pinky touching mine ever so briefly. “That depends on whether you found it funny or cringy.”
I loosened my shoulders, thawing. “A bit of both.”
“In that case, yes. Pun intended.”
We embarked on a courtesy tour of the fourteen-bedroom mansion, during which Zach shamelessly assigned me the bedroom next to his and Eileen one in the furthest corner.
While his staff took our luggage to our rooms, Eileen announced their appointment with a wedding planner to scout venues.
Of course, I snatched up the chance to redeem myself.
I spun to him. “You should go.”
The more I thought about it, the more resolute I became. Zach needed an Eileen. I wouldn’t be around forever.
Once I cured him and we parted ways, it would reassure me if he had someone steady and unwavering in his life.
Zach’s eyes ping-ponged between us, the corner of his lips curling down at the idea.
“Really, Zach.” I smiled, nodding. “You should go. I’ll be fine.”
And by fine, I meant stewing in green, gooey jealousy I had no right to feel.
I sweated my ass off on the stepper. The machine buzzed when I hit the sixty-minute mark. I hopped off, snatching a water bottle from the holder and chugging the entire thing.
During my shower, I thought of all the ways I’d laugh in Vera’s face when this ended. For two years, I’d imagined this moment a thousand different ways.
But today, for some reason, the thought of taking things from Vera no longer thrilled me.
The thought of giving things to Zach did.
I slipped into sweatpants and a sweater and padded downstairs when shards of a conversation between Zach and Eileen seeped into my ears.
I halted, pressing my back to the wall to stay hidden.
“…just think that we should honor your mother’s wishes in attending the dinner.” Eileen poured herself a glass of chardonnay on one of the double islands. “It takes six months to secure reservations at The Winstonian.”
“It could take an eternity, and I still wouldn’t want to dine there. Besides, I’m not hungry.” Zach spoke in his signature detached tone. “I have paperwork to sift through. You should go, though. You’ll have fun.”
If it were me, I would’ve picked a fight by now. Which was exactly why Eileen suited him better.
“I hear the food is divine.” She set her glass down, the picture of patience. “It would be such a waste to give up the reservation. Plus, doesn’t your friend Romeo co-own the place? I’m sure he wouldn’t appreciate you wasting a two-person table.”
My heart lodged in my throat as I waited for his answer.
Selfishly, I wanted him to stay home. To turn his back on her.
In fact, for one outlandish moment, I wanted to yell, “I’m better for you. Why won’t you choose me?”
Instead, I said nothing, my entire body rigid in the silence.
“Fine.” He checked his wristwatch. “We’ll go.”
I closed my eyes, inhaling a ragged breath.
“Great.” Eileen dumped her wine in the sink. “I’ll call your driver and put on something sexy. It’ll be a good idea to draw attention. Show people we’re a power couple. This could be great for our careers.”
Her heels tap-tapped on the hardwood, moving in my direction. I bolted up the stairs to my room, closing the door behind me. Eileen’s voice flooded inside from the hall.
“…taking me to dinner now.” She sighed into her phone, like she’d just come back from a five-mile run. “I had to work my magic, but I made it happen.”
Silence.
Then, she groaned, giggling. “I know. I cannot wait to ride this man. He’s so grumpy and hot. He’s defrosting, though. You should have seen him when we went venue hunting. Not a single woman managed to rip her gaze off of him. Once I show him how good I am in the sack, it’s game over for this brainiac.”
Sharp, rusty claws clung to my throat. I couldn’t take it anymore. Her words should have rung warning bells, but I couldn’t see past the constant reminder that he’d soon become someone else’s.
Eileen slipped into her room, leaving a trail of laughter and perfume behind her. I kept my ears to the door, listening as she exited again, whistling to herself.
Her heels pounded down the steps.
The whole time, Zach didn’t come to my room to check on me.
He didn’t even text me.
An hour after Zach and Eileen left, I stood at the doorway of his mansion, clad in a metallic minidress Dallas told me she’d left here last summer.
“Are you sure this is the right way to deal with my raging jealousy?” I clutched on to her designer purse, my phone glued to my ear, waiting for my Uber. “Because I thought sexting with a stranger would do the job.”
“Positive.” Dallas munched on something crunchy on the other line. “Trust me, I’m a relationship engineer.”
“That’s not a thing.”
“Zach is just letting his mother play at his heartstrings.” Dallas ignored my skepticism. “It’s you that he wants.”
“But Eileen’s good for him.” The sarcasm dripping from me could’ve cured a drought. “She’s the rational choice.”
The more I thought about it, the more of a train wreck I knew it would be. A marriage between the two would be like holding an Addicts Anonymous meeting in a pharmacy.
How could two people with the same phobia cure each other?
“Ain’t nothing rational about love, babe.” Dallas giggled her church-bells laugh. “I’m a Fackery stan.”
“Fackery is a terrible shipping name.” I winced. “Too close to fuckery.”
“How about Zarrow?”
“No.” I shivered in the tiny dress, already regretting this night before it started. “I told you—Zach and I aren’t even an option.”
“Of course, you are. I mean, hello? Kate Beckinsale and Pete Davidson, anyone? There are no rules in love and war.”
I shifted my weight from leg to leg, fighting the cold burrowing into my bones as the headlights of a Toyota Camry flashed in the distance, coming toward me.
“I can’t believe I’m going on a date with someone else.”
“Hey, you aren’t exclusive.” Something rustled in the background. Probably another bag of snacks. “And I happened to set you up with a really great guy. Who knows? Maybe something real can blossom out of it.”
Dallas had insisted on setting me up with a date at The Winstonian—finding me last-minute seats courtesy of a wary Romeo—so I could remind Zach that our lack of exclusiveness went both ways.
It was petty, but I wasn’t in a position to turn it down.
One—because I hadn’t eaten since morning.
And two—because I really did need to prove to both Zach and myself that I wasn’t all-in in this relationship.
“Set your expectations way low.” I shimmied my minidress down over my thighs. The thing was shorter than Romeo’s fuse. “Zach marked me with love bites all over my boobs and stomach the other day.”
“Ugh. That is so hot.” Dallas sighed. “And he is so screwed.”
The Uber parked right in front of me.
I flashed the driver a smile, muttering, “So am I.”