Mr.Right

"Are we taking a left turn or a right one?"

"Uh... And how am I supposed to know that?" Maverick asks rhetorically and I cuss under my breath. He sighs. "April, please tell me we're not lost."

I bite my lip. "We're... Um...not lost." I say obediently.

"Good. Now say it like you mean it."

"Ok, calm down," I say, twiddling the steering wheel. "I'm sure the fair's just around the corner..."

Even I don't believe myself.

Somehow, I managed to end up in the driver's seat of Maverick's car, after a slight argument about who was going to drive. My very narrow streak of stubbornness chose to kick in and I suggested a fair game of Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide.

Because, yeah. I'm childish like that.

Two hours later, I'm pretty sure we've stumbled into a completely different continent. It got dark hours ago and starlight twinkles above us.

Maverick turns to me. "You said you knew the way."

"I used to know the way," I reply. "I never said that I still do."

He lets out a frustrated sigh. "We are so lost."

"Um, yeah," I say. "I think we are." I knew that from the moment the cars around us faded into trees and bushes and silence. "I'm just going to turn the car around and turn on my phone's GPS."

"I told you to do that two hours ago," says Maverick, slightly grumpily and I shake my head.

"Well, you should've sounded more convincing,"

I can tell Maverick's trying hard not to get mad because I can hear him grinding his teeth.

This is the first time I've seen him looking pissed. He usually has this huge smile plastered on his face... But the frown lines appearing on his forehead right now look menacing.

The car's ignition roars to life when I turn it on but it dies immediately after.

Oh, no. This is not good.

I try five more times, but I'm pretty sure luck isn't on my side today. When the car remains lifeless, I stare into the dark night and begin devising of ways of killing myself.

"So," I hear Maverick say, sounding calm despite the look on his face. "The car's battery has died. What are we going to do now?"

The guilt inside me doubles ten times more as I place my head on the steering wheel and groan. "I'm sorry."

I'm half expecting him to yell at me but, instead, I hear a clicking sound as he steps out of the car to open the car's hood.

Maybe not everyone is like Tony.

The hood covers him completely, but I can still hear him when he says, "You have to go to the road and call for help - see if anyone's around. We'll be stuck here, otherwise."

I raise my head off the steering wheel and glance down at my shoes. I bought them weeks ago, but I still adore them. I don't really fancy walking through a load of dust. "But my shoes are going to get soiled." He snorts. "I hope your shoes can get us out of here."

I keep my eyes on my feet.

Maybe I'm being inconsiderate. I know for a fact that I was the one who got us in this mess. It's hardly the time to start worrying about my shoes.

I pick up a flashlight from the back seat and I get out the car, muttering at every speck of mud that dares to slime up my shoes.

The main road isn't too bright because there aren't many streetlights, but I can still see a car coming towards us at full speed. Its front lights are blazing and I'm not sure the people in it have seen me, so I throw my hands up in the air in an attempt to flag it down.

Unfortunately, it speeds past me without slowing down, and even leaves fumes and dust all over my shoes.

Come to the fair He said, it'll be fun He said. How fun is this now?

My phone's screen lits up and I see Jim as the caller ID. Speak of the devil.

"Hey buddy," I say into the phone, hoping to sound breezy, but I yank it away from my ears when Jim yells into the phone.

"One job, April! You had just one job to do and you blew it!"

I massage my temples. "Look, I can explain..." I begin, but he cuts me off.

"Save it. I'm putting Jacqueline on the phone." There's a little bit of rustling in the background before Jacqueline's throaty voice fills my ears.

"Mon Amie!" she exclaims. "We missed you at the fair - is everything all right?"

"Yeah, everything's fine." I wince at the hugeness of the lie. "And I understand that you wanted to hang out... But, um, something huge has kind of come up. I hope you guys had fun without me." Jacqueline laughs. "I didn't. Jim wouldn't let us take the Ferris wheel because he thinks it's 'too dangerous'. He refused to admit he was scared."

"Is he okay?" I ask.

"He'll be fine. He can't be mad at you for long. You're his April, after all."

"Doesn't it feel weird saying that?" I ask curiously. I've always wondered how Jacqueline feels so comfortable with me being close to Jim, even after she knows we dated. "Saying what?"

"Never mind." It's probably just me overreacting. "Just have a safe trip back to France tomorrow. And remember to call every day."

I wait a moment for her response but I'm greeted with quietness.

"H- Hello?" It doesn't take me a minute to realize my phone's battery has just died. Apparently, like the car, it's decided to give up on life.

Great.

Could this night get any lovelier?

Another car comes my way but speeds past before I can even think about flagging it down. There has to be at least one good Samaritan out there; I can't lose hope yet. ...Two hours later...

I can't feel my legs.

I'm sure they're quaking right now from too much standing, but they feel utterly numb.

The last time I stood this long without sitting down was when I wanted to get tickets to see the Jonas Brothers perform live. And the queue was only an hour and fifteen minutes long.

I feel like I'm standing on a very thin rope between life and death, and partially considering giving up, just like my phone and Maverick's car.

"Can you walk?" Maverick asks me now. He joined me an hour ago, as he thought help would come faster when it's two people involved. We're still waiting for the results. I'm not sure his theory is correct.

"Why?"

"I think there's a bench by the sidewalk just over there." He points across the road. "We could go and sit on it if you can."

"I can. Hopefully." Even if I can't, he can't exactly carry me all the way there. A broken spinal cord is the last thing we need right now.

I limp as I follow behind him all the way to the other side of the road to rest my legs.

The bench squeaks when we both take our seats. It's barely strong enough to carry one person so it's a miracle that our asses haven't landed on the floor.

Everywhere's suddenly so quiet that you could hear cricket noises from the grass.

I look over at Maverick who has a very serious expression on his face. He's not smiling.

But then, neither am I.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask tentatively.

"No." But his face says otherwise.

"Are you lying?"

"I-" He hesitates. "Yes. Yes, I am."

"I'm sorry." I've lost count of how many times I've apologized today.

He doesn't even reply this time but somehow manages to give me a weak smile of reassurance. He seems too tired to talk.

A bright car light shines suddenly on our faces as I jump on my feet to try to get it to stop. The driver's not driving with full speed like the rest so I get a good glimpse of what the driver looks like.

It's a female. A young one, at that, but I can tell she's a working-class lady.

She whooshes past without a second glance, just as the realization takes over me.

This is why he treated me that way.

"This is why he treated me that way," I think out loud. "I am the cause of my own problems."

Maverick blinks. "Did you say something or am I hearing things now."

I sit back on the bench, lost in my own thoughts. "He acted that way because I wasn't independent. I moved in with him because I couldn't cope on my own. I wasn't that girl who sets her standards high." Maverick continues to look at me strangely. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but could you just..."

"I was never good enough," I continue. "I failed at my job and even in my relationship. I just wanted to be that girl everyone wants, that girl who all eyes are on immediately she walks into a room."

The words are taking over me now. "I want to shine so brightly that the stars will envy me. I want to vibrate so much that the universe will feel my existence. I want to fly so high, that the universe will miss my feet."

The look on his face contains a mixture of worry, tiredness, confusion and many other emotions I can hardly figure out.

Determination.

Thirteen strong letters that can make you go any length to achieve what you desire. But the only way to become successful is to find help from another successful individual.

The streetlights suddenly seem much brighter and I have a clear view of Maverick's eyes, boring into mine.

The only way to become successful is to find help from another successful individual.

My mind's made up already. I edge closer to him as I wrap my fingers over his arm, praying I don't regret my next words.

"Help me become a woman," I say softly. "Help me become the person I should be."

The heavy burden in my chest lessens. I've already reached the last stage of depression.

Acceptance.

In this stage, you've come to accept the depression. You seek help and begin to feel better. You may fear a relapse but, eventually, you will come to realize that, although relapse is possible, you shouldn't spend your life dwelling on the possibility.

On this day, I, April White, fought the stages of depression and came to find a piece of myself.

Again.