SWNOVELS Chapter 14 Shredded Hearts
Once Casey took Peyton and Sawyer on the tour, I got up and asked Robin if she wanted to get some exercise and that I needed to look for Quinn. She huffed and tumbled off the couch. She stretched and sauntered to the door. The sounds of stones falling to the ground echoed through the house. Goliath and his gargoyles were awake. I hurried outside to speak with him, “Good evening Goliath, Lilith.” They greeted me in kind.
I hurried through an explanation of our new house guests. I made sure to include that Peyton and Sawyer were unaware of Goliath’s and the gargoyles’ existence. He thanked me for my consideration and remarked if I trusted Peyton and Sawyer, he was alright with me telling them. I shook my head and reinforced the idea that if Goliath wanted to share with Peyton and Sawyer, I would gladly arrange introductions the next night. He agreed and the gargoyles went off to hunt for food.
I shed my clothes and phased into my wolf body. It felt incredible! I hadn’t been in my wolf form since my near death experience. I stretched and shook out my fur. I licked my nose and sniffed the air. Quinn’s scent was strong. I followed her scent as quickly as I could through the pain of bruised ribs. She was the light of my life and I needed her safe and sound. Her scent trail led me to the lake a little ways from the house. I saw Quinn as she sat on top of a rock, her feet dangled in the water. She pulled her knees to her chest and crossed her ankles as I transformed and sat next to her.
She was gorgeous bathed in moonlight. She sniffled and wiped her eyes. She said nothing and I was happy to wait until she was ready to talk. I dangled my feet in the water and listened to her breathe. I was happy to sit beside her and be near her. We sat in silence for maybe twenty minutes. “I don’t know what to say, Reese,” She whimpered into her knees, “My heart hurts.” I wanted so badly to touch her, to console her, her body language warned me against the idea. “I’m sorry, I’ve made you feel this way.” She shook her head, “It’s not you, not entirely anyway.” She was quiet for several minutes. “You’re important to me Reese, more than I know how to say. I guess I’m not over that I almost lost you. And now the hunter’s daughter shows up all werewolf and everything.”
“Quinn, it’s my fault. Peyton is my fault. The hunters tracking us here, you got poisoned. It’s all my fault.” “No, no way,” she was quick to defend me. I put my hand on her knee to quiet her, “Quinn, it is my fault. The first night at your family’s summer home. Do you remember?” She closed her eyes and thought back, “I know you disappeared in the middle of the night. I couldn’t find you so we all went out and searched for you. Phoenix and Kai found you in the woods delirious. You wouldn’t stop apologizing. We got you home and cleaned you up.”
Tears filled my eyes, “I never told anyone what happened. It happened so fast and the wolf was in control. I felt like I was watching a horror movie I couldn’t turn off.” I swallowed hard and wiped my eyes. “I couldn’t sleep. I stepped outside to get some fresh air. The wolf overpowered me, it forced me to shift. It took control. It went on a rampage. It devoured Peyton’s dog and ripped her arm open. I turned Peyton. It’s my fault she is a werewolf. It’s my fault the hunters came looking for revenge. It’s my fault they poisoned you. I let them think Jules attacked Peyton. I thought it was lucky they caught and killed him after we kicked him out of the pack. I never dreamed it would get this bad.”
Tears poured from my eyes in torrents. “I’m so sorry Quinn. I’m so sorry.” I buried my face in my hands. Quinn unfurled herself and pulled me to her chest. “I have to take care of Peyton. At least offer her a home,” I sobbed. “She’s not like the others, they were victims, I just helped them pick the shattered pieces of their life and hearts. But Peyton? I ruined her life. I cursed her with the wolf. What am I going to do, Quinn?” I felt her chest expand and contract as she took a deep breath. “I think you already know what you are going to do,” she whispered to me, “You just said it. You said you’d offer her a place and a home. Just be there for her’ the same way you are there for everyone else.” “But I wasn’t. I failed everyone, I got people hurt. I put them in danger,” I bawled.
“Listen to me,” She cradled my face in her hands and lifted my chin to make eye contact with me. “The past is over and done. What are you going to do with the gift that is today? That’s why it’s called ‘the present’.” She giggled at her own joke and I cracked a half smile. “Seriously though, you need to learn to forgive yourself for these mistakes and bad decisions. And stop beating yourself up over them. Live, learn, and do better.” I pulled away from her enough to wipe my eyes and clear my throat, “Live, learn, and do better,” I repeated. We held each for a long time.
“Quinn, did you need to say something? I came out here to console you, not the other way around. Are you okay,” I asked her. She rolled her eyes and grinned, “I’ll be okay.” “Talk to me, Quinn.” She sighed, “I’m not used to this.” She gathered her thoughts. “I’m not used to being taken care of. I usually take care of others.” I nodded and waited for her to continue. “Reese, it’s been so crazy. I’ve almost lost you too many times.” She took a deep breath, “I’m scared the next time you won’t come back or make it.” I studied her, her big beautiful eyes wet with tears and her voice full of emotion. She was the most beautiful woman in the world. I was so incredibly lucky she wanted to be with me.
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” I cooed to her. “I’m not going anywhere. I need you like I need air to breathe. You are my whole world.” Quinn placed her head on my shoulder and sobbed. I wrapped my arms around her and held her tightly. “I get so scared when you are not beside me. I’m trying to not be needy and clingy,” she moaned into my chest. “No sweetheart, you are not clingy or needy. You’ve survived a traumatic event. It will take time to heal.” She squeezed me twice and I responded in kind. It was our special little gesture that meant ‘I love you’.
We both felt better after our talk and a good cry. Quinn wasn’t enthusiastic about Peyton’s presence in the house, but she understood why I offered her a place. We meandered our way back to the house, we enjoyed each other’s company and the pretty moonlight. When Quinn smiled, I thought my heart would explode. She made me happy, made me feel safe and wanted. We finally made our way back to the house and settled down for the night. Tucked safely in Quinn’s arms and under our nice soft blanket, I fell asleep quickly.