Mistake (completed)

It's been a month since we ran away to Calgary. We finally found and moved in this week. We looks for a place without a lease but we couldn't so we are here for at least the next six months. It was the shortest lease we found so we jumped.

Tony found work doing construction work and I found a job as a sales associate at a hardware store. I also applied for school but I'm not sure nursing is what I want to do. I'm not sure I could watch people suffer like that.

"Hey Beautiful" Tony says when he comes in the house.

"Welcome home, I made meatloaf and salad. There is also a plate of brownies for after dinner".

I'm just taking the meatloaf out of the oven when he wraps his arm around me and pulls me into him and kisses my neck.

"You smell delicious, can I have you instead?" he asks before he starts kissing me again.

"Mm" I moan and melt into him.

"How was your day baby?"

"As well as you'd expect. Condescending assholes who think a woman can't know anything about manly things like carpentry".

"I'm sorry. We can move in six months and hopefully find our callings. This is just a pit stop at our real lives".

"That is a good way to look at this".

We fill our plates and head to the living room. Leon and Griffin came down and brought us our things. They stayed a couple of nights but didn't want to be gone for long or dad would try to find them.

I'm guessing Antonio can tell I'm thinking about my dad and brothers because he kisses my temple and whispers that he loves me.

"I love you too".

Tony suggests that we do the dishes tomorrow and spend the evening snuggled together on the couch watching something on tv.

I comment that he better be the one doing the dishes tomorrow and then we have a deal, he agrees.

He sits on the couch and I guiding him back so I can straddle him.

"Oh, does my sexy little mate want to play?"

"Emara wants to".

I growl and flip him on to the floor.

"Ooh feisty".

"You like it" I say with sass.

"Yeah I do." he replies, voice full of need.

I drag my nails across his chest and abs and he shivers.

"Tony, I'm ready to complete our bond".

"Are you sure?" he asks concern for me evident.

"Tony if you don't make love to me soon I will lose my fucking mind".

I roll my hips against him, he's got one hand on my hip and the other in my hair.

"I love you" he mumbles against me.

"Show me." I demand.

He flips us so I'm on the floor. I look up at him and bit my lip. The look in his eye is like a predator eyes his prey and I'm living for it.

"Make me yours Tony".

He growls at me and starts kissing my jaw, throat, collar bone and then he works his way to my hard little buds. He pushes up my shirt noticing I'm not wearing a bra. He then licks and sucks them and then gently blows on them. The sensation is amazing, it sends a feeling of need straight through me to my core.

Heat pools in my lower abdomin, I was already needy but now I'm desperate. I absolutely need and want this but suddenly the need and want are gone from his eyes.

"Tony... is everything alright? Is there something wrong with me?"

"Goddess no baby, it's all me".

I sit up and scoot away from him. It's like this every time I want to complete our bond. There is always some reason he can't.

"I feel like it is me. You had no problem fucking this either girls." I snap.

He sighs frustrated, running a hand through his hair, "those girls meant nothing to me. But you mean the world to me and I'm so fucking scared of hurting you more than I already have".

"Tony I..."

"I guess I still need more time Cadence. I still feel like I don't deserve you".

"Tony" I grab his face with my hands, "I decide who deserves me. You are my mate and even if you weren't, I chose you so long ago".

"I know, I know... I know that you choose me... I know that but I don't feel like I deserve someone so pure".

"Everyone has hurt you Tony. They've beaten you down and made you believe you don't deserve to be happy but they're wrong." I stroke his cheeks with my thumbs, "You've lost so much already don't push me away".

He kisses my palms and wraps a hand around my neck and pulls me so our foreheads are touching. I kiss him, " Tony we don't have to do anything. As much as I want you right this second I'll wait until you can somehow forgive yourself for things that are out of your control".

"Thank you Cadence".

"Hold me?" I as sweetly as possible.

"Of course my love".

*****

It's been two weeks and still nothing. He going farther and farther into depression. I can't take him being so hard on himself so I called Rayne and she found me a number for a shifter therapist here.

Antonio wasn't super thrilled about the appointment but I had to do something I love him far too much to let him bury himself alive under this.

The appointment went well, I think it went well. Tony talked a little bit about his family mostly about Gabriel and Angel. I think he finally said some things he needed to say out loud and this might be the beginning of the rest of our lives.

After the appointment we went out for lunch before we had to head off to work. He was quiet but he held me close almost the entire time.

"How are you feeling?" I nuzzle his neck to try and relax him.

"I'm not really sure to be honest".

"That's ok, baby as long as you keep working at it".

We have a decent time before Tony drops me off at work and goes off to work himself. I hate knowing he struggles so much because of his family and our community. It never should have been like this. They should have loved him more, held him closer... Not this and it hurts me to my very soul.

When work is all through for the day I'm go wait outside for Tony like I usually do when some asshole I dealt with last week comes up to me. His breath reeks of alcohol and cigarettes. I don't like this.

He steps closer to me and grabs my arm. I can easily take him so I'm not worried about him actually hurting me but as a shifter we have responsibilities not to let our existence become known.

Thank goddess Tony arrives right after I rip my arm free of the man's grasp. He yells something at me, I'm not really sure what but I don't care. I hop in the truck and Tony drives off.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes he's just someone I pissed off last week and we both know he couldn't have hurt me if he tried".

"You shouldn't have had to deal with that. I'm sorry I was late".

"You weren't late and I'm ok he was just a human, nothing he could have done would have hurt me".

Tony is very tense but I can see him relax when I take his hand. We walk through the door and I run the water so we can do the dishes together. Tony orders a pizza and we sit down on the couch.

"Tony baby, lay on your stomach".

"Why?" he raises a brow.

"You'll see so just do it".

He does and I grab the massage oil so I can release some of that tension. He groans in satisfaction as my hands melt the tension from his strong, sexy muscular shoulders. I work down his whole back as he sleeps. I've never had someone fall asleep while I give them a massage before. I guess my poor mate is more exhausted than I knew. I should take better care of him.

There is a knock on the door, I kiss his neck and shoulder before I get up to answer it. I put the pizza in the fridge and cover him with a blanket. I get comfortable in the chair and throw on a movie.

I'm afraid I have woken him up but he only stirs before he rolls to his side and falls back into the soft rhythm of his sleep breathing.

When my movie ends I place a kiss on his cheek and whisper "I love you Tony." before I head up to bed.