SWNOVELS Miss Belief: Chapter 38
My heart was racing, and hope was ready to leak out of my eyes in the form of tears if I wasn’t careful. But insecurity reigned supreme and was not ready to let me accept his words.
“Reid, even if I quit the club, I’m not the type of girl you want to bring home to your family or who will make the best impression at a business dinner.”
“You’d make an amazing impression by just being yourself. Do you even realize what a breath of fresh air you are? You’ve always been unapologetic about who you are, so don’t go apologizing now.”
“How can you say that to me? You spent so much time prepping, molding me into the version of a girlfriend you wanted people to see at the wedding, from the designer clothes to the fake background. I even had to have a separate pair of shoes for every outfit because, oh, the horror of wearing the same pair twice.”
His mouth opened and closed. Finally, he found the words. “I bought the clothes and shoes because I didn’t want you to have to deal with any judgment from the people at the wedding. We were only supposed to be faking things, so I just wanted you to feel like you could fit in with that crowd over the weekend. In hindsight—I’m sorry. I never cared what you wore. I only cared that you should feel comfortable in the face of extreme cattiness. As for the fake background about your parents and education, that was your idea. I went with it because your true history was nobody’s business, and I didn’t want you to be in a vulnerable position with respect to the assholes I knew would be in attendance. I moved over six thousand miles away in order to leave behind the materialistic trappings of the world I grew up in. The last thing I want in my life is another woman like Vanessa. If for a moment you thought I could ever be embarrassed by your past or what you’d wear, then fuck—I really screwed this up.”
“You didn’t screw it up. I guess I didn’t consider your perspective.”
He framed my face with his hands. “I’ve never in my life had a connection like I have with you, Teagan. You not only make it easy to be with you, but you also make it easy to be myself. That’s something I never had until I met you.”
“It’s easy to be with you too. But you can’t date someone who dropped out of high school, barely got her GED, and takes her clothes off for money.” I hated the insecurity reflected in my words.
“The hell I can’t. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your education or what you did in order to earn the money for your niece’s treatment. If anything, I’m in awe of how incredible you are. I wouldn’t wish your upbringing on anyone, but it’s clear it’s made you the strong woman I see before me.”
“Well, most of the time that ‘strong woman’ is a big old act.” It was the first time I’d ever admitted it out loud.
He smiled. “I’m well aware of your tough-girl act, but I’m also aware of the sweet—” Kiss. “—soft—” Kiss. “—but fierce—” Kiss. “—passionate—” Kiss. “—sexy as hell—” Kiss. “—loyal—” Kiss. “—hates shopping, expensive luggage, and mornings side of you. Sarcasm may be your armor to keep people from getting close to you, but I promise your heart is safe with me.”
Butter in the hot sun stood a better chance than I did against melting with his words.
“Where do we go from here?” I had no clue how to proceed in a relationship.
“Maybe we can talk about next steps, now that we’ve got all of our secrets behind us—” He paused, probably noticing the guilt I could feel registering on my face. “It is the last secret, right?”
I stepped back to give him a sheepish grin. “Um, it’s not a big secret per se. In the scheme of things, I consider it more of a confession.”
“What confession?”
It was time to put it all out there. “I may have had a teeny, tiny crush on you over the last year.”
His eyes widened. “How tiny are we talking?”
“Scale of one to ten?”
“Sure.”
“Ten, with stalkerish tendencies upgrading the package to a twelve point five.”
His immediate laughter was a relief, as was the way his eyes danced with amusement as he captured my lips. “I didn’t have a clue. I guess I’m flattered, and a little surprised, considering you had to stage an intervention for me.”
“You bounced back pretty quickly into the Reid I adored.”
“You know what they say about crushes. They typically end with a letdown.”
“I’ve yet to find one.”
“Good to know. What else is on your mind?”
“I struggle to believe good things can happen to me. And as previously discussed, I don’t know if I have the tools to manage a relationship.”
He leaned in, his nose below my ear. “How about I give you some options,” he whispered. “Would that ease your mind?”
Was it any wonder I was gone for this man? He got me. I’d never connected with anyone else on the same level. “I could go for some options.”
Smiling, he leaned back again. “Okay. Option A is we continue to date. We hang out together, laugh, kiss, and enjoy time together without any talk about the future. I earn your trust, and we baby step into what I hope will become a relationship at some point.”
It sounded reasonable. It sounded safe. But it didn’t sound like enough. “And option B?’
“Are you sure you can handle hearing option B? Because I can’t unsay it once I’ve put it out there.”
I nodded, grinning at the fact he was giving me an option for my options. “Lay it on me.”
“Option B is the one where I tell you that in a single moment of clarity, I knew everything I’ve ever wanted, and didn’t even know I was searching for, was right there in front of me with big green eyes and fiery red hair. There’s no question in my mind I’m ready for a fresh start with you. I have no more desire to dwell on the past nor to waste one more minute on anyone from it. I’m falling in love with you, Teagan. Without a doubt in my mind. And that means I’m all in to see where this goes with you.”
Holy shit.
“But know that if you choose option A, and we ease into this, we’re going to slow roll into B. We will definitely get there—of that I have no doubt.”
“I’m falling in love with you too.” I face palmed myself. “God, that is so lame after all the beautiful words you shared. But I’ve never said anything like that to anyone, unless you count my sister and my niece.” I’d never trusted my heart would be safe with anyone besides them. I’d never believed another person wouldn’t end up letting me down.
I could see him swallow. “There’s nothing lame about your words. You have a hard time believing things, especially good things, can happen to you.”
Yup. Just call me Miss Belief. “What happens if you get to know me better, and you no longer like me?”
He feigned a serious expression. “Ah. Are you talking about your snoring?”
“I don’t snore.” Shit. “Do I?”
“You do, but it’s cute at this stage. And you know what? If, years from now, it becomes intolerable, I’ll simply smother you in your sleep, and we’ll both agree we had a good run of it.”
My laughter bubbled up. “I’m being serious.”
“No, you’re not. You’re being scared. And the Teagan I know is brave. So put on your big-girl panties, the pink ones preferably, face your fears, and believe me when I say I’m in this one hundred percent.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat, suddenly overcome by emotion. He’d hit the nail on the head. I was scared. Scared to trust someone could love me for just being me. Scared I wasn’t good enough, and he’d figure out I was a fake and leave. But wait. He already knew about the falsely courageous front I put on. He already knew about my background and insecurities.
The cards were on the table, and he was choosing to play instead of walking away. For the first time, I believed his words about being all in, and I was also starting to believe I deserved them.
“How’s your back?”
His brow furrowed. “What?”
“Your back? Any pain or old injuries I should be aware of?”
He looked at me like I was crazy. He wasn’t wrong. “My back is fine.”
“Good.” Carrying out an act I’d only seen in movies, I hopped up and wrapped my legs around him. His grunt of surprise made me laugh, but the way his strong arms hoisted me up further was impressive. “I have an important question.”
“What’s that?” he asked, carrying me into the bedroom.
“Now that we’re dating, can we have sex on your desk at work?”
He groaned. “Absolutely not.”
My lip stuck out in a fake pout. “What if hot desk sex is one of my fantasies?”
His hands attacked my clothing. “We can have hot desk sex after I’m no longer your boss.”
“Is desk sex still as hot if you’re not my boss?” I mean, it was a legitimate question.
He stopped, staring me in the eyes. “One time.”
“Deal. I’ll wear no panties tomorrow, and you can call me in for oral dic-tation.” I waggled my brows, causing us both to erupt into laughter.
“As much as it pains me, you probably can’t keep working for me now.”
“It might be short term either way if you get the job and move to Sydney.”
Dammit, brain. Shut up and be happy. But I couldn’t. Not so long as I still feared he might not include me in his plans.
His eyes locked on mine. “I would only take the job in Sydney if you decided to come with me.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely. You chose option B, which means we’re in a relationship and make decisions together about things like where to move and live. Of course, it may be hard to get Cheez Whiz in Sydney, although not any harder than here in Dubai. I suppose we could always have it shipped in. Not sure if you knew, but it’s my favorite.”
My eyes went wide while my mouth could only manage one word. “How?”
“Aiden slipped me a hint about what you said to Chloe. For the record, I can’t stand brie. So what do you say? Can I be the nacho chip to your Cheez Whiz? The Philly cheesesteak to your—”
I held a finger to his lips. God, he really was in this a hundred percent.
“You had me at nacho chip.”
He chuckled, leaning down to capture my lips.
His kiss was everything. A promise. A dream. A reality. But most of all, it was mine. All mine.