(Mis)fortune

Little tugs at my hair woke me. Aden lay next to me, eyes wide open as he stroked my hair. Sunlight peeked around the drawn shade.

“Morning, buddy. Did you go to the bathroom yet?”

He shook his head.

“Come on.”

I sat up and helped Aden from bed. Liam, who was also awake, followed us. While they used the bathroom and brushed their teeth, I went to the kitchen to check the time on the microwave. On a typical day, David let us out of our rooms by seven. I’d slept past nine. They had to be starving.

After they allowed me a little time in the bathroom, we went downstairs. Both Nana and Jim’s doors stood open. From Jim’s apartment, I heard a shower running and someone singing boisterously. Aden giggled, and I looked down at him in surprise. He caught my look and grew serious again. I felt horrible that my glance had killed his amusement. I gave him an encouraging smile and his hand a light squeeze, but the moment was gone.

The sudden sizzle of frying food came from Nana’s apartment and interrupted the singing. I led the way into Nana’s while calling out a tentative hello.

“Good morning, sleepyheads,” she called from the kitchen. “Come in and eat.”

Only three settings waited on the table.

Nana caught my puzzled look. “As soon as they smelled the food, they started snitching. I told them they might as well eat,” she explained. She then smiled at the boys. “I saved some for you.”

Emmitt came in while we ate, followed closely by a still damp Jim.

“Ready to head into town and do some shopping?” Emmitt said.

Mouth full of pancake, it took me a second to answer. The thought of clean clothes appealed to me, but the likelihood of Blake finding us remained lower if we stayed hidden in Emmitt’s home and tree-enclosed yard.

“Not today,” I answered. Maybe not ever. I could live in these clothes forever if it meant Blake never found us.

Emmitt tilted his head and studied me for a moment. “If you’re worried about money, I—”

“On Saturday’s, I usually comb through the paper,” Nana said, interrupting him. “This morning I found a few family rummages. Would you like to come with me?”

I set down my fork, feeling a little interrogated. “Thank you, but I think we’ll stay here and play if that’s okay.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Emmitt frown.

Nana smiled reassuringly. “It’s not everyone’s cup of tea. Would you mind if I looked for things for the boys?”

I eyed my brothers and knew I couldn’t say no. I wanted to stay here for a few days, at least, before moving on. It would help to have some spare clothes.

“I don’t mind.”

She and I talked sizes while Liam and Aden finished eating. Jim and Emmitt stayed in the kitchen, listening. I felt Emmitt watching me and resisted the urge to meet his gaze.

Jim sat next to Aden and mischievously eyed Aden’s plate. Aden pulled his plate away and shifted his body to give Jim his back. Jim grinned but left Aden’s food alone.

After cleaning up our places, the three of us followed the rest outside. Nana wasted no time pulling her small car out of the driveway, and I wondered if I should have given her my sizes, too.

Emmitt ambled to the garage where a riding lawnmower sat with its deck removed. Old, dried grass clumps littered the area around it. Jim joined Emmitt, and they started talking lawnmower care. Emmitt pointed out the need to do general maintenance, and Jim congratulated Emmitt on his new job.

Liam, Aden, and I lingered on the porch and stared at the yard. Our eyes saw freedom, but our minds didn’t quite believe it. Clasping hands, we walked down the steps together. At the last minute, I sat and pulled off my shoes. Liam and Aden did the same.

Grass tickled the bottoms of my feet as I stood. I smiled at the feeling and took a slow deep breath. The grass felt just as I remembered, and I wanted to do cartwheels and somersaults on it. A feral desire to hold onto this place claimed me, and thoughts began tumbling in my head. Maybe Blake wouldn’t find us here. Maybe we could just stay. The boys held my hands, walking circles in the grass with me.

Eventually, I realized Jim and Emmitt’s playful banter had stopped. When I looked up, I found both men watching us.

I self-consciously cleared my throat and turned to the boys. “What do you want to play?”

“There’s no swing,” Liam said as he looked around the yard with a very serious expression.

Without Jim and Emmitt’s gazes, I would have shown my brothers the things I wanted to do. Instead, I bent and plucked a blade of grass from the overgrown lawn.

“We don’t need one to play. Here.” I handed each boy a blade of grass and proceeded to teach them how to make a whistle using the grass, their thumbs, and cupped hands.

I entertained them with simple things I remembered from a long time ago, until Aden’s stomach growled.

“I’m hungry,” Jim called out, right on cue. “Anyone else?”

Aden immediately answered with a quiet “Me.”

As I stared at Aden in surprise, forgetting that I needed to encourage him rather than stare, a premonition hit. Like a song played too often on the radio, it crawled into my head and stuck there on repeat. I didn’t visibly react but did start to worry. When I’d run, I hadn’t given any thought to what I would do with them.

When it came to my premonitions, my brain acted as a broken ticker. A string of letters and numbers, the market code followed by the gain, repeated until I passed the information on to someone else.

I’d once tried withholding the information from Richard, but that hadn’t worked out very well for me. I discovered that the longer the letters and numbers repeated, the more uncomfortable I became. My head began to ache annoyingly, and I grew irritable. The pain gradually expanded until it reached an agony so piercing that it brought me to my knees, sobbing and clutching at my head. I ended up screaming the market code to Richard. I never willingly withheld the information after that. But I did learn something very significant from the attempt; as soon as the information left me, the pain ended.

I bit my lip as I followed everyone toward the house. I couldn’t just give the information to Liam and Aden; I’d tried that once, and it hadn’t worked. My need to stay hidden limited my options to the other three adults in the building. If I gave it to one of them, they wouldn’t think anything of it the first time. But what about the fifth or sixth? Offloading a tip always earned me a week’s reprieve until the next premonition struck. Always seven days apart. To the minute. They’d notice and would start asking questions I couldn’t answer. Maybe I should have gone with Nana. I could have given it to some random person, then.

Both Liam and Emmitt stopped on the porch to watch me when I lagged behind. I suppressed a sigh and followed them up the steps. I would easily make it through the rest of the day. Tomorrow, though, I’d suffer if I didn’t come up with a plan before then.

Emmitt stood aside while Liam and I entered Jim’s apartment. The back of my neck tingled, and I knew he studied me. I couldn’t consider him as an option. He saw too much.

Jim stood in front of the refrigerator, listing out possibilities for lunch. His large frame put emphasis on the tiny boy standing next to him. Aden barely passed Jim’s knee. Jim seemed to understand Aden’s timid nature and only asked yes and no questions in a teasing manner. By process of elimination, Jim helped Aden choose cold cut sandwiches.

I sat quietly and watched Jim explain to the boys how he made his triple-decker sandwich. The meat-stacked sandwich towered on his plate, and I wondered how he’d even bite it. I studied Jim and realized he might be a perfect answer to my current problem. He seemed like the type of person who teased and smiled a lot, not taking anything too seriously. The kind of person who wouldn’t take a stock tip seriously. I tried to think of a way to pass the information to him without being obvious, but with Emmitt’s gaze still on me, nothing inspiring came to mind. So, I kept quiet.

We were still eating when Nana walked in, carrying three paper bags. Emmitt quickly rose to help her.

“I think you’ll be happy with what I found,” Nana said, setting two bags on Jim’s couch. “Emmitt, can you get the other bags for me? They are on the porch.” He nodded and stepped out.

Nana reached into one of the bags and pulled out a ball cap. “I have one for both of you. It’s good to wear outside so you don’t burn,” she said to the boys. She set the caps on the couch then turned for the next item in the bag.

I glanced at the boys to see what they thought but, instead, witnessed Jim reach over and take a huge bite of Emmitt’s sandwich. He grinned at me while he did it. My lips twitched, surprising myself. Both the boys smiled when they saw my reaction but ducked their heads down to keep eating.

Emmitt walked back through the door with three more bags. He set them on the couch and went back to his sandwich, and I turned my attention back to Nana. From the corner of my eye, I saw him give Jim an annoyed glance before eating the rest of his sandwich in two bites.

From the bags, Nana pulled out a stack of shorts for each boy, several pairs of long pants, shirts, shoes, sandals, and swim trunks. She had provided both with a full wardrobe, including brand new underwear and socks. Two of the six bags remained untouched.

“Michelle, I hope you don’t mind, but I found a few things that I couldn’t resist getting for you.” She indicated the bags. “Would you like to see?” She gave me a hopeful look, so I nodded. Who was I kidding? I felt giddy that she’d thought of me.

Like the boys, I now owned several pairs of shorts, two additional pairs of jeans, and several printed tees.

“I’ll let you look through the rest on your own,” she said, stopping halfway through the second bag. “If something doesn’t fit, just let me know.”

Jim piped up behind me. “What? No suit for her? Come on Nana, tomorrow’s the fourth. We could go to the lake.”

Nana shot Jim a dirty look. “Of course, I bought her one. She can look for herself.”

Jim grunted loudly, and I turned to look at him. Emmitt stood close beside him. Neither met my gaze. Both Aden and Liam smiled down at their plates. Suspicious, I looked down at my plate. Empty. The last two bites had vanished. My lips twitched again, and I shook my head and looked at Jim. Jim widened his eyes and pointed discreetly at Emmitt. Aden burst out in giggles.

I turned away from the foursome. Jim’s antics would bring the boys out of their shells. But what trouble would they learn from him?

Nana apparently had the same thought as she repacked the bags.

“Jim, if you can’t behave, you can go mow the lawn. Boys, put your plates in the sink if you’re finished. Emmitt, can you help me bring these up to their apartment?” She indicated the bags as she picked up two herself.

The way she said “their apartment” warmed me, and I smiled at her as she passed. I liked how she brought everything to order easily.

Jim put his plate in the sink, winked at Aden, and sauntered out the door as Emmitt grabbed several bags from the couch. Aden quickly put his plate in the sink and followed Jim, saunter and all. I caught Emmitt do a double take. His lips tilted at the corners before he left, too. Having Aden out of my sight for even such a short time worried me, and I was glad Liam remained by me. Together, we quickly cleaned up lunch then went outside. I easily spotted Aden.

Jim squatted next to the mower, Aden at his side mirroring his pose. I could hear Jim explaining the names of the tools Emmitt still had laid out beside the now attached deck.

“What do you think, should we take her for a test drive?” he asked Aden. I eyed the mower with concern.

Jim looked up at me. “What do you think, Michelle? If I hold him, can we go for a ride around the yard?”

Nana’s voice rang from inside the house, saving me from answering. “Jim, I think the boys would be better served if you went to the basement to look for some of your old things. I recall seeing gloves and a ball somewhere in that mess.”

Both Aden’s and Jim’s faces fell, but I was relieved that she’d discouraged the idea and saved me from saying no.

“Aden, you and Liam can wait on the porch with me,” she said as she walked out holding two plates, each with a cookie. “It won’t take Jim long.”

The boys walked toward the porch.

Jim scowled playfully. “Where’s my cookie?”

“You had more than your share of food at lunch. If you want dessert, learn to eat what’s on your own plate,” Nana said mildly and patted each boy’s head as she handed over the cookies.

Jim walked past me and mumbled, “Notice Emmitt doesn’t get a cookie either.”

I smiled and rolled my shoulders. The ticker continued its repetition, and the symptoms crept in, a tightness in my shoulders and back of my neck.

“Michelle, I can keep an eye on them if you want to go look at the clothes quickly. You might find something you can change into. I can send the boys up as soon as they finish.”

I hesitated to leave them. Everyone here was nice, but we’d only been here a day. Both boys, still full from lunch, nibbled slowly at their cookies. Liam watched me closely.

“Is that okay, Liam?” I asked hesitantly.

He turned to look at Nana, and she patiently let him judge her. Finally, he nodded.

“I’ll be right back if you don’t come up first,” I assured them.

I took the stairs two at a time and arrived at the door out of breath just as Emmitt stepped into the hall. He gave a small smile as he passed me. I hesitated in the doorway until he reached the second landing. I didn’t want an audience when I looked through the clothes.

The bags lined the couch. I knelt and started digging through them, hurrying to sort everything into piles. At the bottom of my bag, I found new underwear, a swimsuit, and a sports bra. Gratitude swamped me. Clean clothes!

Tromping footsteps announced Liam and Aden’s impending arrival. I helped them change into shorts then begged them to watch some fuzzy cartoons on the TV while I showered and changed.

Excited, I closed myself into the bathroom, and then realized I had a problem. The towel rack sat empty. No shampoo lined the shower ledge.

Nana had graciously provided the clothes, but we still needed a few other basic items. I went to the bedroom and counted out the remaining cash. Thanks to the magazines I’d read, I could guess the cost of new shoes, tops, or designer jeans. But what did second-hand clothes cost? And what about basics like flour, milk, shampoo, and deodorant? Uncertain, I plucked two of the one hundred dollar bills from the pile. She’d brought back six bags of clothes…it had to be close. I assured the boys I would be right back and ran downstairs.

The lawnmower droned outside. Both Nana’s and Jim’s doors stood open, but I didn’t see anyone.

Before I could decide if I should knock or just start shouting out names, Nana called from the porch. Both she and Jim sat on the steps, watching Emmitt mow.

Jim leaned back in the sun, barefoot, shirt off, and wearing jean cutoffs while he grinned at his brother. Emmitt glanced our way when I walked out the door. Jim definitely looked good, but he didn’t give my stomach fits of churning delight like Emmitt did. Thankfully. One distracting me was enough.

“I wanted to thank you for the clothes, Nana,” I said ignoring both men. I handed her the money, which she accepted. “And I was wondering if I could borrow a towel and shampoo for a shower.”

She looked at the bills. “This is more than what I spent on the clothes.”

At least it wasn’t less. “It’s okay. I really appreciate what you did for us. It saved me from having to—” I caught myself. “It would have been boring for Liam and Aden, and I didn’t want to leave them alone.”

She nodded in understanding. “How about we send Jim to the store to buy some picnic food? Then, we can go to the lake tomorrow like he suggested. It’s a public lake but remote enough that not many people go there,” she said before I could decline.

My mind raced through several possibilities. One being that if we stayed on this property, hidden, Blake might not ever find us. Sure, I knew he wouldn’t give up, but how would he know to look here? I liked it here. I liked Emmitt, his brother, and their neighbor and knew that Liam and Aden did, too. But, I knew that by tomorrow my pain would be worse.

Staying here meant I needed to find a way to deal with the premonitions. A random conversation with Jim about stocks, a topic just about everyone my age would naturally avoid, wasn’t the best idea. If we went to the lake, I could put something on someone’s car window. Or draw it in the sand where someone would see. The lake provided more opportunities.

I nodded, and she handed Jim one of the bills. He laughed mischievously.

“I’ll be right back.” He went into the house and came back out a minute later wearing sturdy boots and a sleeveless shirt. Small keys dangled from his little finger.

“Jim…” The warning in Nana’s voice was clear as he jumped from the porch.

Emmitt looked up from his mowing as Jim swung a leg over Emmitt’s motorcycle and inserted the key. The drone of the mower died as the bike’s engine roared to life. Jim laughed loudly and revved the bike over Emmitt’s shouted words. Saluting us, Jim took off.

“Nana!” Emmitt called in frustration. It reminded me of Liam when Aden wouldn’t share a toy. “You couldn’t stop him?”

Just then, we heard Jim rev the engine again and squeal a tire on the blacktop road. The sound faded much too quickly.

Nana glanced at me with a small smile. “Jim was lonely without Emmitt.”

“I can tell,” I said absently, turning to watch Emmitt run a hand through his hair. His lips moved rapidly, and I guessed if I stood closer, I would hear swearing. “Did Emmitt miss Jim, though?”

She laughed. “Let’s get you that towel.”

Emmitt finished mowing the backyard and moved to the front before Jim returned. Pieces of grass stuck to our feet when Liam, Aden, and I ventured out onto the newly cut expanse. I loved the smell of it.

Nana called to us from the porch and presented the boys with the gloves and ball that Jim had unearthed in the basement.

I helped them fit their small hands into the large gloves as she went to the garage to fetch a rake. Without a glove to play, too, I grew restless watching the boys toss the ball to each other.

Living in confinement hadn’t been bad if I followed the rules, but it had been boring. Given our options at that time, boring had been better than David’s harassing presence or Blake’s furious attention when I did something outside of the boundaries he set. But being bored while the ticker ran in my head just brought my increasing tension into focus and reminded me that the ache would only get worse.

I went to the garage, found a second rake, and helped Nana, stopping occasionally to roll my shoulders. I caught Liam watching me with a knowing look and was glad Emmitt wasn’t within sight.

The motorcycle roared into the yard while the mower still rumbled in the front. The boys stopped their play to watch Jim park. He put his feet down to stop and grinned widely at the boys.

“I’ve got some cool stuff for tomorrow!”

Liam looked at me for permission, but Aden inched his way toward Jim before I even nodded. Jim stood and swung a leg over the bike, handing a bag to each boy as they crowded close.

I set the rake on the grass and joined them. Through the plastic bags, I saw boxes for sparklers, smoke bombs, spark fountains, and more. I didn’t see one food item. I glanced nervously at Nana. Jim had blatantly disobeyed.

The mower in the front quieted. Jim grinned wider, looking down at the boys’ rapt expressions. I doubted they even knew what they looked at. Nana set her rake down and strode toward Jim to peer into the bags.

“James Grayson Cole. That wasn’t your money.” The growled intensity in Nana’s voice surprised me. Even the boys looked up at her.

Though Jim’s grin remained on his face, it started to look a little forced.

“I got what we needed, Nana.” He met her eyes steadily.

I watched the scene play out, feeling uncomfortable. There was an obvious silent message there, but I didn’t know what. Would they start arguing?

Emmitt walked around the side of the house just then. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of his damp shirt and glistening skin. His eyes met mine as he closed the distance, and he gave me a wink. My stomach did an extra special twirl. On top of my nervousness, it didn’t feel too good.

He set a hand on Nana’s shoulder. “Let’s save this conversation for another time.”

Nana’s eyes didn’t leave Jim’s, but she did nod in agreement.

Emmitt bent to look in the bag that Liam still held with uncertainty. “Do you think we should light some of these tonight?”

Liam’s eyes darted to me, then between Jim and Nana. I didn’t blame him. It felt like the wrong answer could set off a landmine. Even Aden looked at the group in confusion, his bag hanging loosely from his chubby fingers.

“I think we should go inside,” I said softly, holding my hands out. Liam dropped his bag, and Aden immediately did the same. They ran to me, wrapping their little hands in mine.

The three other adults didn’t move as I led the boys away. I felt Emmitt’s eyes on me and risked a backward glance. Our eyes met, his concerned and sad gaze followed my progress. I quickly looked away.

Both boys remained quiet as we walked to the house, as did the group behind us. I wondered what lecture waited for Jim.

We spent the rest of the evening in Emmitt’s apartment. I discovered paper in one of the kitchen drawers and played tic-tac-toe with them. When we grew bored with that, I found a movie we could all watch while lounging on the lumpy couch. We remained quiet just like we used to do when David grew angry. If we were quiet, he eventually calmed down; and we avoided being locked back in our rooms.

Dinnertime approached, and the annoying ache officially upgraded to a headache. Since coming inside, I hadn’t heard anything from below. Back home, a quiet house after Richard returned home from work meant trouble. Neither boy mentioned anything about dinner so I ignored it, too.

Eventually Aden started to yawn, and I suggested we all get ready for bed. Thanks to Nana, we changed into pajamas and snuggled in for the night.

Despite the pain in my head, I slept hard.