Misconduct

My father’s words of advice were a constant refrain in my mind lately: You can do a couple things and succeed, or you can try to do fifteen things and fail at all of them.

I jetted down the stairs of the school, feeling my cell vibrate from my inside breast pocket and ignoring it.

Damn phone calls all day. The fucking loggers in Honduras were in the middle of a battle with the environmental activists over clear-cutting, which shouldn’t have had anything to do with me other than it was my equipment they were using to cut down the trees. Now Jay was in a fit over the guilt by association.

After that I’d been forced to a waste time having lunch with the mayor just to maintain the connection, and then I’d gotten stuck on call after call all afternoon. That was, until all hell broke loose down at the docks, when my shipment of buckets for the dozers and loaders making their way up the Mississippi for the final assembly at the factory in Minnesota turned out to be several tons of coal that wasn’t mine.

Everything that could go wrong was going wrong lately, and I didn’t know what the hell to do. My head was almost never on work anymore, and I kept dropping the ball. When I wasn’t worrying about Christian, I was thinking about Easton and when I could see her.

I’d been going over last weekend again and again in my head. Her stunt at the club and how she’d tried to push me away. I’d been enraged.

I didn’t want Kristen Meyer.

The woman was a void, like every other woman I’d come into contact with since Easton.

But I would’ve played ball if Easton had wanted it. If she’d been a part of it.

I didn’t need the excitement or the experience, but I’d enjoy it. Sure. What man wouldn’t? Especially with how hot she’d looked on the dance floor, another woman’s hands on her. However, I didn’t want to go into it without her. There was no point if she wasn’t involved. It was about us experiencing something together.

But then she’d pulled away, disconnecting herself from the scene, so that I would find pleasure in another woman and she could walk away, convincing herself that anything we had wasn’t special.

There’s no amount of red sufficient enough to explain the rage I’d felt when I reached out for her hand and found only air, then realized what she was doing.

But then she’d crawled into my lap and cried and kissed me, and Kristen had instantly disappeared.

There was nothing but Easton.

And then, later that night, when she’d told me her story and how that lowlife had victimized her, I’d wanted to erase it all from her life and make sure she had the best of everything. Happiness, love, consistency . . .

And then I wanted to find him and erase him. It made me sick to think of him out there, walking around. Did he know where she was?

Climbing in the back of the car, I unbuttoned my jacket and looked to Christian sitting across from me, staring out the window. “Room to Breathe” blared on the radio, and I reached over, turning it down from the controls in the back.

Leaning forward, I gave him my full attention. “I’m sorry I was late,” I told him, tired of seeing that look on his face. For every step forward we took, it was another two steps back.

“You forgot.” His sharp tone cut, his eyes still turned out the window. “You forget, because it’s not important to you.”

I sat back in my seat, hooding my eyes. “Is that what your mother tells you?”

“Yes,” he stated matter-of-factly, twisting his head finally to look at me. “And then in private she tells my stepdad that you’re a shitty, self-absorbed father.”

I hardened my jaw, feeling like everything was slowly slipping through my fingers. I was losing everything.

Christian turned his head, speaking to Patrick.

“I want to walk,” he said.

Patrick met my eyes in the rearview mirror, and I hesitated, not wanting him to get out of the car.

But dealing with Christian was like climbing a rope with one arm, and I was tired. Let him cool off, and I could think.

I finally nodded.

Patrick pulled over, letting him out. It was only a few blocks to the house and it was still light out, so I didn’t worry.

My phone buzzed in my pocket as Patrick pulled away from the curb, and I closed my eyes, exasperated.

Yanking it out of my pocket, I saw Brynne’s name on the screen and squeezed the phone, hearing it creak under the pressure.

Answering it, I held it up to my ear. “I don’t need to hear it,” I shot out.

“I was sitting there on a computer screen, Tyler,” she barked. “You couldn’t be there in person for Christian? You already missed one other conference this week.”

“I’m not making excuses,” I explained, “but it’s not that I don’t care. The campaign, the company . . . I’m very busy right now.”

“All of which Christian couldn’t care less about,” she threw back. “I agreed to this, because you truly seemed to want to get to know him, and I didn’t want to uproot his life while he was in school, but you’re a mess! He knows he’s not the most important person in your life, and he’s wondering why. Do you have any idea how much he wants you to love him?”

“I do love him!”

“You’re going to lose him forever!” I could hear the tears caught in her throat.

I rested my elbow on the door, holding the phone to my ear as I bowed my head and closing my eyes.

“That is, if you haven’t already,” she added, sounding somber. “Tyler, there comes a point when you’ve been disappointed or hurt too much that the bonds can never be repaired. You always wait for tomorrow. But let me clue you in. Tomorrow was yesterday.”

I clasped the phone in my hand, staring out the window, deep down knowing she was right. When would I wake up and realize that it was finally time to make my son a priority?

My first priority.

I shook my head, my throat swelling with regret. I wouldn’t realize it until it was too late. That’s what it would take for me to wise up.

“If you can’t get it together, I’m coming back to get him,” she told me.

I swallowed and spoke quietly. “It’s harder than I thought it would be,” I lamented. “Trying to balance everything alone.”

“I know,” she replied. “Thanks to you, Tyler, I know that very well.”

And she hung up, leaving me on my own just as I’d done to her all those years ago.

—

The weekend had passed slowly. More slowly than I’d thought it would, unfortunately.

I’d had a site in southern Florida to check out, so I’d taken Christian with me, handing over my social media and e-mails to Jay for the weekend just so I wasn’t distracted.

Christian had joined me out in the heat and mud as we walked around, going over the plans for a plant to be built. Some of the workers had shown him how to handle the machines and even how to drive a loader. I don’t think he understood exactly what I did, getting to see only the suits and clean offices at home, but on-site, it was dirty and loud, the ground being dug up and bulldozers roaring in every direction.

After a spell of trying to act disinterested, he’d joined in the fun, finally taking in the full impact of what Marek Industries was all about.

Sunday happened to be my birthday, so we’d spent it on a boat, fishing with some of my colleagues. I enjoyed seeing him smile so much that I’d decided not to press him about anything or to try to talk to him. Instead we would ease into it, learn how to be together comfortably, and let things happen naturally.

I knew one trip wasn’t going to win him over, but I was glad for the opportunity to spend some time with him away from the day to day of the company and other distractions in New Orleans.

No matter how much I was still thinking about her.

I’d texted Easton to let her know I’d be out of town for the weekend, but other than that, I hadn’t talked to her. She’d responded with a Be safe, and I hadn’t called after that.

And it wasn’t that I didn’t want to.

But it was time to face reality. It was still only October. She’d teach Christian for another several months, so was I going to continue to sneak around with her all that time?

And not to mention that, if Christian found out, I’d lose him instantly.

“Mr. Marek?” Corinne came over and poked her head in my office door. “Ms. Bradbury is here to see you, sir.”

I turned around in my chair, from where I had been gazing out the windows, and felt a rush of heat. It was late Wednesday afternoon, and I hadn’t seen her since the conference last Thursday.

Why is she here?

I nodded. “Send her in.”

Corinne left, and I turned down the TVs on the wall

A moment later, Easton walked in wearing a long black coat, tight at the waist but flared at the legs, and her hair windblown beautifully around her face.

My breath caught. God, I’d missed her.

Her skin glowed, and her rose lipstick made her lips look plump and edible.

Corinne closed the door behind her, and I blinked, regaining focus as I tried to force nonchalance.

“You coming to my office can’t be a good thing,” I teased, remembering the last time she’d been here.

She clasped her hands behind her back, looking vivacious and flirty. “I missed your birthday this weekend,” she pointed out. “And I wanted you to know I was thinking about you.”

A smile played on her lips, and I leaned back in my chair, taking her in.

“You look beautiful,” I told her. “How’s school?”

She leaned forward, placing her palms on my desk and pinning me with a smirk. “Wouldn’t you rather have your present, Mr. Marek?”

My pants instantly got tighter.

Jesus.

I cleared my throat and played the game with her. Looking her up and down, I simply shrugged. “I’m not seeing it. Where is it?”

She stood upright and held my eyes, the blue hue of her gaze turning sensual and dark. She slowly began unbuttoning her coat, and my cock immediately stiffened with need for her.

She pulled the coat off, letting it slide down her arms, and then she dropped it on a nearby chair.

My lungs emptied, and I suddenly felt starved.

She wore black stockings with lace trim, a black necktie around her neck, and absolutely nothing else.

I groaned as I took her in. The beautiful olive skin of her hips and upper thighs looked soft and smooth, and I wanted my mouth on her flat stomach and full breasts. Her nipples were hard, and her hair floated across her chest, making me want to bury my hands in it.

“Just my size,” I said in a low voice.

One corner of her mouth turned up. “Oh, this isn’t your present,” she admitted, turning around to take something out of the coat pocket.

My eyes landed on her ass, and I saw the little bruise she still had from the pool table.

Looking up, I saw her tear off a piece of duct tape from a roll and meet my eyes. “This is.” She gestured to the tape. “No backtalk.”

And she placed the strip over her closed lips and batted her eyelashes at me.

I started laughing, loving her ingenuity. If only she knew how much I really loved her mouth.

She rounded the desk, stepped out of her heels, and straddled me, slowly lowering her body down and resting her arms over my shoulders.

I reached out and ran both hands up her sides, kneading her skin, unable to help myself.

She moaned behind the tape, and I threaded my hand in her hair, grabbing a fistful of it and burying my lips in her neck.

But then I stopped. I let my forehead fall to her chest, wondering what the hell I thought I was doing.

Christian.

He came first. He had to come first.

And this would hurt him.

I was thirty-six. What was I doing with a twenty-three-year-old teacher who taught my son?

I couldn’t have this no matter how much I wanted it. Brynne was right. I was a mess.

Looking up at her, I saw the question in her eyes. She was wondering why I’d stopped, and then she ran her fingers across my forehead, pushing away the hair that had fallen forward, and I knew that I was in too deep with her.

I would hurt her, disappoint her, and throw away any chance with my son along the way.

I dropped my hands to her hips and gripped them hard, my resolve ready to cave, because I didn’t want to choose.

Sitting back, I raised my weary eyes and slowly peeled the tape from her mouth.

“I’m sorry. I have a meeting,” I told her. “I don’t have time.”

She sat still for a few moments, probably trying to figure out if I was really kicking her out when she knew I just wanted to keep her here.

I’d never not had time for her.

And that was the problem. I’d put her before everything else.

She rose off me, looking everywhere but at me, and walked around the desk, slipping on her coat as fast as she could.

I tightened my hands into fists, feeling like everything inside of me was hollowing out.

She turned to leave but then spun back around. “If you’re pushing me away, just say it. Don’t leave me guessing.”

I clenched my teeth together as I stood up and forced a glare. “I said I have a meeting,” I bit out. “I don’t show up in the middle of your workday, do I?”

Her eyes widened, looking surprised. “Tyler”—she held up her hands—“when a naked woman sits on your lap, offering herself up, you take it. And if you can’t—for whatever reason—you at least say sweet things to her. I can’t believe I—”

“You want to know why I’m aggravated today?” I grabbed my phone and brought up Twitter. “Look at the negative comments on the tweets you’ve been telling me to post,” I shot out. “And this morning someone wrote a blog post calling me ‘immature’ and ‘unprofessional.’”

I tossed my phone down on my desk, feeling like the walls were closing in. She blinked several times, and I could tell she was caught off guard and hurt.

“You’ve also gained just over five thousand new followers in the past couple of weeks.” Her voice cracked. “The more you put yourself out there, the more negativity you’ll see. That comes with the territory. I was trying to help.”

I planted my hands on the desk and steeled myself, forcing my eyes to stay on her despite the hurt I could see in her eyes. “I didn’t want your help. I just wanted you in bed.”

She pulled back, instantly straightening her posture.

The pain on her face disappeared, her expression turning to stone. “I see.”

She looked just like the Easton at the open house. The one who was cold and distant and far away from me.

“I guess I’ll see you, then,” she said, sounding cordial.

But this was goodbye.

I nodded, forcing myself to meet her eyes. “Yeah.”

She turned and walked out, and I immediately shot out from behind the desk, ready to go after her. But I stopped myself, planting my hands on the desk and bowing my head, trying to calm myself.

Fuck.

I wanted her.

I needed her!

I slammed my fists down. “Goddamn it,” I growled under my breath.

“She really is gorgeous,” I heard behind me, and I recognized Jay’s voice. “Just don’t do it at the office, okay? Be more careful.”

I brought my head up, scowling at him. He must’ve seen her leaving.

“Relax,” I snapped. “It’s over.”

“Why?” he challenged, actually looking concerned. “You were definitely happy. I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as you’re both discreet.”

He slipped some file folders onto my desk, and I shook my head, unable to admit to my brother what I could barely admit to myself.

I looked forward to her. More than anything else.

And I couldn’t put her first anymore.