Midnight Secrets

When I spotted Cassius across the dining hall the next day, I wasn’t surprised. It was the law of the universe: if you masturbated thinking about a guy, you’d run into him soon after. At least he was across the room, and I had a chance of getting through this without him noticing me or having to talk to him.

My focus couldn’t remain off of him for too long as I filled up a to-go box. Thank god I was meeting some friends for lunch in the courtyard and not here. I wasn’t sure I could handle being in the same room as Cassius for too much longer.

He looked good. Too fucking good. He’d always been handsome and unbelievably gorgeous, but today was different. It wasn’t like I hadn’t noticed his looks, but it had been dimmed and hidden by my bitter grudge against him. The shield I’d been hiding behind was now gone. It was like a genie that couldn’t be put back into the bottle.

Don’t get me wrong, he was still the asshole who ghosted me, but that didn’t stop my body from desiring him. The pain I felt when he didn’t respond to my calls or texts didn’t stop me from staring in rapt attention as he pushed his hair from his face. Nor did it stop me from practically drooling when his arm muscles flexed at the movement.

It took a significant amount of effort on my part, to look away from him and focus on the food in front of me. Getting caught staring at him was something I’d rather not deal with right now. I wanted to give the impression of being unaffected by him, even if it was a lie.

As I neared the exit, I couldn’t help myself and glanced at him over my shoulder, only to meet his gaze.

He was standing with his palms resting on the table in front of him as he leaned forward. The muscles flexing in his arms would have distracted me if his eyes weren’t holding me captive. His expression was impossible to read as we remained locked in a stare-off. I couldn’t look away, even if I wanted to. It was like we were two magnets being pulled together.

I couldn’t say how long we watched each other. It could’ve been a minute, or it could’ve been five for all I knew.

When he finally looked away to respond to someone behind him, I let out a long breath and gave my head a firm shake. All the fucker had to do was make eye contact with me, and I crumpled like a wet paper towel. I was fucked.

This proved to me that I needed to stay the hell away from him. I clearly hadn’t ever truly gotten over my crush on him.

As I walked across campus to meet my friends, I used the time to calm down my racing pulse and cool the desire that had made an appearance upon seeing him. It wasn’t fair that he affected me like this and by doing absolutely nothing.

Melissa, Jamie, and Sam were already sitting at one of the three stone picnic tables, already eating. The table was circular, allowing us to be able to see each other, and had enough seating for the four of us to comfortably sit.

“There you are,” Jamie said, adjusting her glasses as I sat between her and Sam. Like Melissa, she and I had been friends since high school, having bonded over being redheads. Sometimes, it was the simplest of things to kick-start a long-lasting friendship.

“Hey guys, what did I miss?”

“We were just planning our girls-night-in at my place this Saturday. You free?” Sam brushed her short, dark hair from her eyes as she glanced at me. We met her freshman year through Eric and quickly became friends. Unlike the rest of us, she lived off campus with a couple of her friends.

I pretended to mull it over for a few seconds, tapping my chin. “Yeah, I’m free.”

“What about Addie and Sel?” Jamie asked once she swallowed her food.

Sel immediately responded to the message I sent in our group chat, saying yes with a whole bunch of exclamation marks. With Addie currently in class, I knew she wouldn’t respond for the next half hour. “Sel’s in.”

“We’re planning on throwing in some money for pizza and alcohol,” Melissa said as she closed her empty container.

I nodded my agreement, having already been planning on offering money. Not only had I saved up from working this past summer, but I already started back up on my waitressing job at the diner this past weekend. I didn’t work often since I wanted to focus on school and only worked the weekends along with Addie.

During the remainder of our lunch break, we planned our girl’s night. We bounced back and forth between romantic comedies, trashy romance movies that were laughably bad, and comedies. The only agreement we could come to was each of us bringing a movie, and we’d decide that night which to watch.

Jamie also talked about bringing some games, while Melissa mentioned something about a “fun and easy” craft. I was a little wary about what she considered easy since our opinions on an easy craft varied.

Near the end of our lunch break, I received a text from Addie, telling me she was also in.

“What’s this Ezra’s last name?” Sel asked later that night while we all worked on homework—or we were supposed to be—while having the TV on in the background. “Maybe I can find his socials.”

“Don’t know, and don’t care,” I muttered as I flipped to the next page of my textbook.

“Now you’re just being selfish. I’m dying to know what this creep looks like. First, you refused to sneak a picture of him, and now you’re denying me the chance to stalk him online. You can’t tell us he’s good-looking without showing us what he looks like. How am I supposed to accurately give you advice when it comes to him?”

I snorted as I shook my head at her ridiculous reasoning. “I don’t need advice when it comes to him because I don’t want anything to do with him, as I’ve already told you, and if I recall correctly, you agreed with my reasoning.”

“Yeah, that whole coffee date thing was off,” Sel muttered as she typed on her laptop.

“It wasn’t a coffee date,” I said with a groan. “Never use ‘date’ in any sentence regarding him.”

“You’re not fooling anyone, Sel. We all know the only reason you want to know what he looks like is to see if he’s hot,” Addie said as she pulled a bottle of water from the mini-fridge. “Guys with multiple red flags, like him, have always been your type.”

Sel gasped in offense, but she had no argument. The redder the flags, the more interested she was. It was the main reason I wasn’t letting her anywhere near Ezra. Even though nothing was charming about that man, I was afraid she’d fall for his bullshit. It wasn’t that I thought she was naive or an idiot, but she had a habit of going for the more bad-boy type.

What kind of friend would I be if I let her get involved with a guy I wasn’t willing to spend time alone with? Not only that, but if she did get involved with him, then I’d be forced to see him around even more, and that wasn’t something I was willing to deal with. If Sel started a thing with Ezra, he’d also end up finding out where I lived. The thought had my body growing cold. Meaning that I had to ensure either Sel and him never met, or she was creeped out enough by the guy that she wouldn’t be interested. It may have been a selfish motivation on my part, but I wasn’t willing to budge on this.

“Trust me, you’re not missing out. There are better guys out there for you.”

“You’re no fun,” Sel grumbled but didn’t press this further.

“Don’t you still have Shirtless guy texting you?” Addie asked, pulling the conversation away from Ezra. She covered her mouth as she yawned for the umpteenth time tonight. Whenever she stayed out all night, like she had last night, she was usually exhausted and a bit cranky the next day.

Shirtless guy was the nickname we gave the guy Sel gave her number to at the frat party. At least once a day, he sent shirtless mirror pics, never revealing his full face. I thought it was a little suspicious, but Sel had become intrigued by the mystery. Like I said, the girl loved her red flags. But I’d take her talking to this guy over Ezra any day of the week.

Sel began twirling her hair around her finger as she said, “Yes, I’m still talking to him. You wouldn’t expect it, but he’s one sweet talker.”

“It’s the shirtless pics, right?” I chuckled as I dodged the crumpled-up piece of paper she threw at me.

“Do us all a favor before you go falling for this guy,” Addie said as she looked up from her laptop at Sel, her expression serious. “Make sure to get a face pic of him. It’s always best to know who you are talking to.”

“You’re such a fucking mom friend,” Sel said with a chuckle, making Addie roll her eyes as she fought a smile.

“Not to mention, you’re a vain bitch. I mean, what if he’s ugly?” I made a dramatic gasp, clutching my chest.

“He’s been wanting to meet up for lunch, but I’ve been hesitant.” Sel paused, tapping her chin in contemplation before grabbing her phone and typing a message to him. She glanced up and found Addie and I staring at her, waiting for her to tell us what she sent him. She rolled her eyes and chuckled as she set her phone on her desk. “Nosey bitches.”

“Well?” I asked impatiently, waving my hand in a get-on-with-it gesture.

“I told him I’d only go to lunch with him if he sent me a picture of his face. And not a mirror selfie.”

“Have him hold up a spoon or something random, so you know it’s really him,” Addie said as she returned her focus to her laptop, pulling her fading purple hair into a bun.

Addie and I spent the next few minutes suggesting random items for him to hold up, each becoming more ridiculous as time went on. He eventually responded, agreeing to her terms. When he finally sent the picture, Addie and I were hovering over Sel’s shoulder to get a good look at him. He was handsome in the frat boy kind of way, but that was one of Sel’s types. His face was clean-shaven, and his hair was messy in a way that was intentional.

With him having sent a picture, they officially set a lunch date this Sunday, and while Sel went to the bathroom, Addie and I made plans to go to the restaurant and watch the date from afar. Both for her safety and out of curiosity.

It wasn’t like we had anything better to do.