Midnight Cove

"Shh, Bonnie. It's okay. My brother is going to be fine. He's not losing his light, no. That's something else entirely. When a faery doesn't go back into hiding and spends too much time in the human realm, they lose their mind and possibly their immortality if it has been long enough. He will eventually forget everything, live a normal mortal human's lifetime and then die." Phoenix said the last word as gently as possible, but it was still a blow. The thought that Cove could become mortal never occurred to me and the knowledge was enough to knock the wind right out of me.

I remember the night before I went back to work, crying because of the reality that Cove and I could never really be together. This meant that we could, but instead of me becoming immortal Cove would have had to choose to give up immortality just for me. He would have had to choose to die. He didn't want that, which is why he never mentioned it.

Why would Phoenix tell me this? He would never chose to be mortal. He loved being a faery and his beloved Underground Realm too much. I wouldn't have to ever ask to know the answer to that question and yet, I never would want to. I liked Phoenix too much exactly the way he was. Even if he was terribly self-centered, I would never want him to change. He understood me on a level no one ever had, not even Cove.

"You look so worried, Bonnie," he said lightly.

"Yeah, well, that's because I am," I barked. Of course I was worried, I didn't want Cove to go insane. "Why is he doing that? He's going to become mortal to hide from his wife? Or to hide from you?"

I had no reason, but suddenly I felt angry with Phoenix. I felt like it was his fault. Deep down I knew it probably wasn't, but I couldn't blame myself for Cove's running away so, I decided to take it out on Phoenix.

Phoenix's cool voice came out in his usual deep melody, "He is very mad at me, Bonnie. He is even more mad at himself. He can't face his mistakes. He is desperate to find happiness and he thinks that he can find it with you." That had taken me aback. I had to step away, it was too much to hear that Cove still loved me, I couldn't accept it.

"My brother loves you," Phoenix continued reading the doubt clearly written on my face. "I have know Cove all my life and as soon as I saw you, I knew he was right about becoming a fatum, but Bonnie, you have to understand something. I, too, love you."

Phoenix stepped closer closing the recent space I had created between us. He grabbed my left hand and knelt down. My heart went on overdrive. I tried to swallow, but there was a lump in my throat that just wouldn't go down. I hadn't realized it yet, but my breath was coming in short, shallow gasps. I was hyperventilating.

"Bonnie," Phoenix pronounced my name slow and with certainty. He wasn't going to stop. He was going to propose and all I could think was, "no, yes, no!"

I wanted to scream and I wanted to cry, but all I could do was shake. My body was trembling uncontrollably. Phoenix looked up at me with his beautiful brown eyes and his angelic face. Everything slowed down for an infinitesimal moment, I thought how easy it would be to wake up and see his face for the rest of my life. Then my heart thumped so loudly I jumped, breaking the reverie. My only thought then was, "Run! Run, Bonnie."

So, I turned around pulling my hand out from Phoenix's grasp, and ran as fast as I could. I didn't make more than a couple steps before I slipped on the obsidian stone floor, my satin robe getting caught under my feet and I fell. I was falling out of control. We were high, too high. The height of the colonnade must have been hundreds of feet from the ground.

As I began my free fall into the dark I felt no fear. I didn't scream or flail. In part, I relished the sensation both of absolute freedom, and the fact that somehow my suffering would all end soon. I thought about Cove and Phoenix. I thought about how easy death could eliminate my heartbreak and I wondered how painful it would be when my body impacted the stone floor below. I wondered if I would suffer long, or if I would immediately pass away from this world welcomed by Death's embrace.

I didn't have to wonder for long because before anything could happen I was swooped up by two powerful arms. I looked up and saw Phoenix, his black angel wings spread aloft as we glided silently through the night sky. Once again, he was there to save me from myself, from my own reckless behavior. I felt safe in his granite like embrace. Gratitude wasn't enough, I felt indebted to him.

He flitted us across the sky to the balcony outside our suite, he set me down and allowed me to slide out of his arms. I looked into his golden glowing face, I was in pure awe. All my doubt and despair melted under the gaze of his warm brown eyes. I knew that he could make me happy. I didn't know if he could ever erase the ache in my chest left by Cove, but he would be the only chance I would ever have again at real love. I suddenly realized that there was no way to fight it any longer. I was in love with him, Phoenix, my dark angel.

Phoenix didn't say a word. He didn't look happy, but he didn't reprimand me either. I just stood there feeling foolish. I had run away like a coward. I didn't know for certain that he was going to propose, but it had felt like it. I didn't know what to say, thank you or I'm sorry? Both seemed to me like adding salt to a fresh wound. So instead, I said nothing. Phoenix continued to stare at me a moment longer scolding me with his penetrating gaze and then he gently kissed the top of my head and stepped around me, going inside.

I exhaled the breath I had been holding and turned my face towards the heavens. I wanted to chastise myself, but then I figured it was best to just let it go and move on. I acted rash and stupidly, and Phoenix was there to rescue me. Almost too late, I realized I was glad for it and went inside determined to be on my best behavior. It was time to go home.

"It was my fault," Phoenix said as I entered the warmly lit room. "I frightened you. I shouldn't have done that. I know you aren't ready for me to love you. You are still in love with my brother." He looked so resigned, he was trying hard not to show how hurt he was by my rejection.

"No, Phoenix," I started to say, but he held up his hand motioning for me to be quiet.

"Yes, it was. You do not have the same feelings as I do." He was right. I couldn't argue with anything he said. I desperately wanted to confess that I loved only him, that I hated Cove because he was a liar, but I couldn't. It wasn't true. I only hung my head in defeat.

"It's okay, Bonnie." Phoenix's kind, smooth voice calmed the turbulent waters of my soul. "I'll take you home now, okay? To your home." He said, making sure I knew he wasn't going to trick me again. I nodded, knowing it was right for me to leave.

I raised my head to look at him, tears brimming the inside of my eyelids. "Can I come back?" I didn't know if he would ever want to see me again, or if I had somehow tarnished our time here together.

A soft smile graced his lips and he nodded his head slightly. "Yes, Bonnie, of course." He walked to me wrapping me up in his loving arms. He kissed the top of my hair, turning his head and resting his cheek there. "You have only but to call my name, and I will come. It doesn't matter where you are, I will always be listening, waiting for your heart to be open to me." He said these words fervently and I knew he was telling the truth.

I nodded my head against his chest and wrapped my arms tightly around his waist. "Okay, I'm ready." Knowing that I could come back to this magical nightly kingdom made it easier for me to leave. I had responsibilities I needed to take care of in my realm, and a confrontation with Cove that had to be dealt with.