Midnight Cove

When I got home it was close to lunchtime but the idea of eating wasn’t exactly appealing. I was still pretty bothered by what Jenna had said. I knew that Cove wouldn’t be back until about sunset so I decided to go out for a walk. My apartment and the garden reminded me of him too much, I had to get out.

I decided to walk over to the beach. The fresh air and change of scenery would be a good chance to clear my head. I couldn’t stand the idea of harping on my doomed relationship anymore.

Plenty of people were out and about. The hot summer sun shone brightly, reflecting off the windshields of the parked luxury cars and expensive boutiques lining the streets. A cluster of cyclists in neon spandex waited at the railroad crossing while the small silver commuter train, the Surfliner, passed by carrying it's passengers towards big city's ballpark located in the downtown district about thirty minutes away. I stopped for minute taking in all of these sights before following the pedestrian path that cut under the railroad tracks and lead straight to the lookout point by the sea cliffs above the beach.

Descending the long winding wooden staircase was always a feat, it must be at least three or four stories high. It was a sturdy and grand staircase though, fashioned from thick planks of hardwood and steel railings so I didn't feel frightened. Soon though my feet landed at the sandy concrete slab at the bottom of the stairs by the outdoor shower where a few half naked surfers were rinsing off after their morning session. The salt air felt good in my lungs. I stretched my arms overhead and took another deep lung full of it. The loud sharp noise made by my exhale attracted the attention of some nearby sunbathers. I dozed my head to avoid their stares and decided to take a walk along the shoreline.

Skirting my way around the massive piles of stinking kelp, I followed the wet footprints in the sand. How many hundreds and probably thousands of people walked this strip of beach in just this past day?

Ahead of me, an elderly couple holding hands were walking their little dog. I moved aside to give them room. They smiled kindly at me as they strolled past. Seeing them happily in love, living out the rest of their days together made me utterly miserable inside. I visibly grimaced after them. I knew no matter how much I loved Cove that there was no way that was ever going to happen for us. No matter what, that elderly couple would never be us.

Filled with frustration, I picked up one of the small round stones by my feet, it felt cold and smooth between my fingers, an effect of being rolled and tossed against the sand time and time again by the merciless ocean, and I flung it as hard as I could back into the waves. Surprisingly, I heard a yelp sound and looked up to see a seal dive under the surface of the water. I realized I had hit the poor creature dead on. Gasping in horror at what I had done, guilt immediately flooded through me. I didn’t even know if the poor thing was okay. My anxiety started wreaking havoc as I thought of the damage that might have possibly been inflicted on the unsuspecting animal.

I decided I just couldn’t live with myself if I had hurt it substantially in any way so, I went over to the large boulders at the base of the sea cliffs and sat down. Decidedly, I would just have to wait until the seal resurfaced. They are mammals and breathe air so I assumed it couldn't be more that fifteen or twenty minutes tops.

I sat there for what must have been hours watching the waves, waiting for the sea animal to show some sign that my stupidity hadn’t done any real damage. I watched the sun slowly sink on the horizon, but still I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t make myself get up from that spot. I thought of the rock, I thought of the seal, and I thought of how a little fling could so easily and unwittingly cause such damage. And then, I thought of Cove. I thought of our relationship and what future it could possibly hold for him, or me. I thought of the inevitable heartbreak. No matter how this ended, it would end badly for me. There was no way to get out unscathed. But does that even matter? Sometimes the scars are worth the adventure. I sighed, resigned to my fate, because I knew Cove was worth a lifetime of scars. My heart could break to a point that it was irreparable and still, he was worth it. I loved him. I realized then that I would always love him and I fell asleep in the sun thinking of his warm smile.

I awoke suddenly sea spray misting my face, the temperature had dropped and the fog started to roll in. I hadn’t realized how long I had slept, it had already become so dark. The tide had changed while I was lost in dreamland and all the beachcombers were long gone. I was pretty far from the staircase that would take me back up the cliffs and the water was already rising around the boulders. I stood up not sure what the best course of action was at this point. The lifeguards leave at about five so I knew there wasn’t any help coming.

Quickly I hopped onto another boulder behind me that was higher against the side of the cliffs. It was getting darker, there aren't any lights down by the water and the waterline can reach well over ten feet any given night, and the pounding waves were becoming fierce. I was really starting to worry now. Panic threatened to breakthrough, but my mind raced to find a way out. Each wave roared against the rocks and the spray had soaked my clothes; it was cold now. I couldn’t see where to go. The dense fog was too thick. I crouched down onto my knees and reached my arm out hoping to feel for another boulder to hop onto but I couldn’t feel anything. I began to feel frantic, I looked around trying to search for some sign of help or relief but it was pointless. I could barely see a few inches in front of my face.

The tide had risen too high now, it was washing over the rock I was standing on making it slick with the salt water. I momentarily thought about making a swim for it, but with the warm water this time of year the chance of their being a shark honestly freaked me out. It wasn’t a big chance but it was night and it was dark and I was frightened.

The real threat was in the riptide. I knew the rip currents claimed about a hundred lives every year and the lifeguards save literally thousands of people from them. There was no way I could hope to make it back to the staircase. I wandered too far. I was so reckless, why didn’t I pay attention?

As much as I wanted to continue to berate myself over my own stupidity, there literally was no time. In a few more minutes I would be swimming whether I wanted to or not. I was going to get sucked out to sea if I didn’t make a jump for it. Crouching down again I scooted closer to the edge of the boulder reaching out blindly. I swiped my arm side to side desperately trying to feel the distance between me and any other rock. Another crashing wave came, striking me in the face. I had to cling to the side of the rock to avoid the pull of the ocean as it sucked the wave back out. Violently, I coughed the salt water from my lungs, my nose dripping. I kicked my legs trying to pull my body back onto the rock.

That’s when my left foot struck another boulder. I felt the rock sitting about two and a half feet diagonally from where I was. It was taller, higher up than the one I was currently on. I couldn’t see the thing, but I knew I had to make the jump, it was my only chance. I climbed back on to my rock and took the blind leap just as another wave hit. I made it, my hands struck out and I clung to the grooves of the giant rock in front of me, holding on for dear life. I kicked my legs furiously, fighting the powerful suction of the tide.

The black salted water was swirling all around me, I had to be in the middle of the riptide. As the wave momentarily receded I was left hanging down the side of my new rock and as my strength began to waiver I summoned up the last draughts of it to pull myself up ontop. I was exhausted, I was gasping for air, but I was alive. I was so fortunate to make it to higher ground, I had just barely made it, but I knew my battle wasn’t over. There was still darkness surrounding me and it was a far way back to the staircase, the only way off of the beach.

I hoped and prayed that there were enough boulders to make it there. Repeating the process, I made at least five more jumps, stumbling and scratching myself badly on the way. By the sixth jump my luck ran out. The wave hit earlier than I had expected and I slipped. I was too exhausted, too weak to hold on. I hit my head on the nearby rock and lost all control. Somewhat vaguely aware that I was bleeding and had not made it to the next intended landing spot, everything suddenly felt very tired; my body was heavy with sleep. I remember my last word was nothing more than a whisper, “Cove.” Then, the heavy curtain of darkness fell.

I could hear my name. Someone far away was calling me. I couldn’t quite open my eyes, they felt too heavy, but I could hear the smooth sound of a voice saying my name. At first I thought it was Cove, the voice was deep and sensual, but it wasn’t the same. This voice was different. I tried to sit up but my body refused to move.

“Help,” I croaked, as I coughed out a lung full of salty seawater. My voice was but a ragged whisper. I had no energy left in me. My throat felt dry, harsh, torn.

I could hear footsteps and the sound of dripping water. Again I tried to open my eyes, this time succeeding in blinking back the darkness. My vision was cloudy at first and I slowly turned my aching head in the direction of the echoing footsteps.

I couldn’t remember where I was, or how I got there. It was darkness all around me. I could hear the water dripping from high places and smell the musty, dank air that threatened to strangle me in its stench. I tried to remember what happened but my head was pounding. It seemed as though my brain was incapable of any thought at the moment other than throbbing pain. As my vision started to clear, the outline of a beautiful man came into view.