Mercy

Nikolai was moved into his bedroom after staying in the hospital, just to make sure he was okay. He was alone lying in his bed, his eyes were fully open, but all he saw was darkness. Everywhere his eyes moved, he couldn’t see anything and he was starting to feel a little hopeless.

Although he told Roza he wanted to try with her, he wasn’t sure about it now. He was a blind Alpha. How can he protect his own pack? All that he has worked for — Roza, Maksim, and the pack seemed like it was all to waste.

After three years of living in desolation and pain. Nikolai thought he had finally crawled out of darkness when he saw Roza again at the Alpha games. It was pretty ironic that now he was really in darkness. No longer was he able to see Roza’s beautiful face or his son’s smile. Just the thought was enough to eat him up inside.

Sighing, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and felt at the night stand for the cup of water that Roza placed there. His fingers met with the cool hard surface of the nightstand before he moved it to his left and then to his right. The sound of glass hitting the nightstand and water dripping can be heard as he accidentally tipped it over.

“Sh!t.” He growled and tossed his blanket aside so that he can feel what the damage was. His shin ended up hitting the nightstand and he let out a painful grunt.

He stood up and put his hand in front of him to feel his way towards the bathroom. The towels were in a cabinet in the bathroom and all he needed was to get there and grab it and then come back. His hand met with his dresser.

“Dresser.” He mumbled and felt his way to the left.

His hands felt around a corner and with one hand he waved it in the air — an opening.

“Door.” He mumbled again. He walked inside the opening and felt around again for the cabinet that should be around his left. Instead, his foot got hooked onto the bathroom rug and he went flying to the ground, landing on his hands and knees.

He swore under his breath in frustration. His stress was at a high right now. He felt incapable. The inability to even grab the towel was clear enough; he couldn’t take care of his own pack or his family. Growling he fisted the rug in his hands. His anger rising as he thought about his unfortunate loss of eyesight.

“Nikolai?” Roza’s confused voice weaved into the room.

“Maybe he is in the bathroom?” Dimitri asked.

Nikolai shook his head. It was just his luck that his mate walks in on him in the moment that he was the most incompetent. A moment later, he smelled her scent growing stronger. He felt Dimitri’s presence next to him as he tried to help Nikolai up.

“Are you okay? What are you doing in here?” Roza asked.

Nikolai shrugged Dimitri’s helping hand off from him. Growling in frustration he moved to sit back. His back met with the cool wall of the bathroom. Roza’s scent wrapped around him like a thick blanket as she dropped down to his right.

“I’m fine. I don’t need your help.” He gritted out.

“Did you fall?”

“Stop, Roza.” Nikolai didn’t want to be pampered. His frustration with his eyesight was clear and he wanted to be alone. “I’m fine and I don’t need anyone’s help.”

There was a moment of silence. He knew that Roza and Dimitri were probably exchanging glances and he felt even less of an Alpha than he was now. He felt like a child that needed help with getting the things that he needed. It pissed him off.

“Nikolai, let me help-”

“No.” Nikolai snapped at Roza.

He heard Roza growl at his sharp response and then he felt her hand on his cheek. Sweet satisfying currents spread through his body like a calming wave. His rising anger quickly melting as the wave ran over his body. He sighed and leaned into her hand, relishing in her touch. He closed his eyes as his mind began to clear.

After a few minutes she spoke again. “Are you okay?”

He nodded. “I’m fine.”

“What were you trying to get?” She asked in a curious tone.

He scoffed. “A towel. I spilt the glass of water you set on my nightstand.”

He heard Dimitri moving around and his footsteps fading. He knew that Dimitri was probably heading to clean up the mess he made.

“Now, would you let me help you or do you want to get back to bed yourself?” She asked.

“I don’t want to go back to bed.” He muttered. “I feel like that’s all I have been doing.”

“Do you want to go take a walk? I can go with you.” She offered.

That actually sounded really nice to Nikolai. He wanted to go out, but there was also something else he wanted to do too. He turned towards Roza’s voice.

“We can go later. Where is Doctor Trevin?” He asked.

Nikolai knew that with him losing his eyesight, he was not capable of taking care of his pack. He needed more time to get used to the idea of not seeing. It wasn’t an easy thing when all your life, you did. He felt like someone had placed a cloth over his eyes and no matter what he did he couldn’t tear it off.

He needed to talk to Doctor Trevin about his eyes. He needed more answers and after that he needed to take care of the matters at hand. That means he needed to make sure whoever was under his care was taken care of.

“He’s in the medical wing.” Roza answered.

“I need to see him.” Nikolai said.

“Ok, I’ll go get him.” Roza said. “But first, you need to get up from the floor. Let me help you into bed.”

Nikolai allowed Roza to lead him back to his bed where he sat down on the edge. Roza quickly said she will be back with Doctor Trevin and left. He heard Dimitri walking closer to him.

“Dimitri, I have something important to ask of you.” Nikolai spoke with finality. “If my eyesight doesn’t get any better. I am going to hand you the pack. You will be their Alpha until Maksim is old enough to take over.”

“Nick, you will be fine.” Dimitri rebutted.

“We are not sure of that and because of that, I need you to promise me you will take care of the pack, Roza, and Maksim for me.” Nikolai said.

Dimitri scoffed. “I don’t need to take care of Roza and Maksim. They have you. I will be there for you all, but I don’t need to take care of them when you are still here and very much alive.”

Nikolai sighed. “I can’t protect them, Dimitri. I am a blind werewolf. I can’t see a threat-”

“Don’t give me that bullsh!t, Nick. You fought for her. You made her stay and then you told her you wanted to try. She could have told you ‘no’ and left you the second she had the chance, but she fvcking stayed. You threw her away before and now you are going to throw her away again? In that case, you don’t fvcking deserve her and she should go find herself a chos-” Dimitri was cut off when Nikolai’s hands wrapped tightly around his throat. He couldn’t see but his voice told Nikolai exactly where he was. A snarl left his lips as he tightened his grip around Dimitri’s throat.

“Go ahead.” Dimitri taunted. “If you don’t like the truth and want to kill me for it, then do it.”

Growling Nikolai shoved Dimitri away. He coughed a little before speaking again. “Don’t throw them away.”

Nikolai felt torn. He loved them with every breath. He would die for them but he couldn’t protect them. As a father and a mate, he should be able to do both without a problem, but without his eyesight he was just a liability for her. However, just thought of her being with another man was tearing Nikolai up inside.

“They deserve someone better.” Nikolai whispered as he sat back down on the bed with a long sigh. “I don’t want to lose them, goddess knows I don’t.”

“You aren’t dead, Nick. Don’t talk like you are. There are humans who have your problem and yet they still live on. Stop being an idiot and take what you really want. No one is going to hold your hand through this. You know what you want, take it when it is given, otherwise you will lose them for good this time.” Dimitri retorted.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?” Nikolai snarled.

Dimitri chuckled. “Yeah, well take a look in the mirror first before you start talking.”

“I would if I could see, idiot.” Nikolai snapped and Dimitri continued to laugh.

The door opened and Dr. Trevin’s voice appeared. “Roza told me you wanted to see me.”

Nikolai sniffed the air but didn’t detect Roza’s scent. She must’ve not come with Doctor Trevin.

“Roza left to take care of Maksim. He is a little upset.”

“Why?” Nikolai asked as he felt Doctor Trevin walk closer to him.

“He wants to see you. Our little Alpha is starting to develop his werewolf senses. He can smell you and your smell comforts him.” Doctor Trevin informed.

Nikolai’s heart ached to see Maksim too. It was only yesterday that Roza brought him in to see Nikolai, but even that was a long time.

“What did you want to see me for, Alpha? Are you experiencing new symptoms?” Doctor Trevin asked. Nikolai heard the sound of Doctor Trevin’s medical bag being placed on the bed.

“I need to know if this is normal. How long will it take before we know whether or not my eyesight will come back?” Nikolai asked.

Doctor Trevin sighed. “I am not sure.”

“That’s not a good answer, Doctor.” Nikolai growled. He expected answers, not uncertainty. He didn’t want to hear something that he already knew.

“From the medical studies that I have researched during the time you were in the medical wing, it could take a day, or up to a year. It really depends on your wolf and how quickly he is fighting to heal. I heard that there are many things that come into play when it comes to healing. The mate bond, the mate mark, and pups are several reasons why a werewolf will fight to survive. Your wolf has done a lot. He healed you completely with your broken bones. Your eyes will take time. I can’t say you will see again because I am not sure you will, but I can say that you do have a high chance of healing. You just have to let time do its work.”

Nikolai sighed. “It seems it is always time that plays a part in my life.”

“Time heals everything, Nick.” Dimitri spoke up finally.

Doctor Trevin checked Nikolai thoroughly before he was satisfied with his observation and started packing up. The door opened and Roza’s scent wrapped around the room again.

“He is fine. I’ll check on him two days from now.” Doctor Trevin informed Roza.

After Doctor Trevin left, Nikolai spoke up. “I want to speak with Roza alone.”

Dimitri started for the door but Nikolai stopped him before he left. “Remember what we spoke about, Dimitri. You will take over until further notice. Please gather the pack tonight so that I can give them a formal notice.”

After Dimitri left, it was only Nikolai and Roza left in the room. He wanted to ask her something and he wanted the truth from her. It was only fair that he gives her an option to leave him. He will not hold her here if she didn’t want to. He needed to make sure she’s staying for the right reasons.