Chapter 17: Trouble.
"An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind."- Mahatma Gandhi
I stretched my arms, a yawn escaping my mouth.
I rubbed my eyes tiredly and looked over at the clock, it was 6 o'clock in the morning.
I woke up thirty minutes before my alarm for school usually goes off.
That's a first.
I slipped the warm blankets off my body and immediately felt naked even though I was still wearing the same clothes that I wore
yesterday.
I looked down at myself confused, I usually wore pajamas to bed.
I brushed my thoughts away and got out of bed and walked over to the closet, well, let me rephrase that, I tried to walk to my
closet.
I took three steps and tripped over a body sleeping on my floor.
What the heck? "Watch where the hell you're going; Axel mumbled tiredly.
"Axel? You better have a damn good reason why you're sleeping on my floor.’ I couldn't help the anger that filled my voice, I still
wasn't over everything he said to me.
"Like I could leave you alone in here after what happened."
He said just as angry, sitting up in his pallet on the ground.
Instantly remembering what happened my head snapped to the window that the unidentified man climbed out of last night.
My heart raced all over again, it could have gone so much worse than it did.
So many questioned filled my brain like who was that person? What were they looking for? Or worse, how long have they been
sneaking into my room? "You slept there all night?"
I asked, my anger fading.
"Yeah."
He grunted, not looking at me.
"You didn't need to do that; I told him truthfully.
"I know.’ He stated.
I was taken back, I stared at Axel with my eyebrows furrowed.
No matter how hard I tried I couldn't figure him out.
It was moments like this where I think there is more to Axel, I think maybe he can't be all bad.
"You kept screaming in your sleep, I couldn't leave you like that."
He spoke, finally looking at me.
I looked down at my socks embarrassed, I knew my nightmares were coming back but I didn't know they were that bad.
In totally honestly, I don't remember anything that happened past standing in the hallway with Axel.
I faintly remember Axel calling Rylan upstairs and them two bickering at each other but I don't remember going to bed or even
what nightmare I had.
"And I figured you wouldn't be comfortable with me sleeping with you so I slept here."
He stated, getting standing up.
Well, he was right about one thing, I definitely wouldn't have been okay with that.
"Thank you."
I looked up at him.
We both stood there staring at each other for a good twenty seconds before I forced myself to look away from him.
Axel's eyes always had a way to make me feel lost looking into therm, they were so intense and alluring.
I could feel my face go pale when I watch Axel pick up his blankets and my journal fell from the tangle of covers.
I instantly searched the bookcase and sure enough, my journal was missing.
"How much of this did you read!"
I seethed, grabbing the book off the floor.
My body started shaking violently, I wasn't sure if I should feel scared or angry.
"Enough."
His eyes narrowed at me.
"Then you read the first page where it says DO NOT READ!"
I hissed, quickly deciding to go with anger.
Axel didn't say anything he just watched me.
"Are you trying to make me hate you!"
I asked, feeling heat run up my neck.
"God, what is your problem? What kind of mind games are you trying to play?"
I shouted, my stomach twisting.
"You know what? Here!"
I threw my journal at him.
"Mia."
Axel's voice was low.
"By all means don't let me stop you! Get your shits and giggles out!"
I barked at him.
I feel like throwing up.
"Go ahead, read it!"
My voice cracked.
"I find the part where Larry's oldest son would drag me outside and tie me to the big spruce tree in the backyard like a dog with
the chain so tight around my neck I could barely breathe particularly entertaining.
I felt the tears running down my cheek but I didn't stop them.
"Or how about when I was thirteen and a man chased me with a broken beer bottle out of a drunken rage?"
I hiccup uncontrollably.
"Look, I got a cool scar and everything!"
I raised my shirt to show off my 3 inched scar that he's already seen.
"MIA; Axel growled at me.
"WHAT?"
I growled back.
"What can you possibly have to say?"
My voice shook.
I wanted to collapse to my knees and bawl my eyes out but I couldn't let him see me like that.
I wouldn't let him have the satisfaction.
"I'm sorry.’ He whispered gently.
But that was enough for a sob to break my defenses and penetrate my body.
I grabbed my head and slid my back against the wall, bring my knees to my chest.
I couldn't stop the tears that were coming down hysterically.
"Stop messing with my head!"
I shouted.
"You don't care! You're not sorry! You never learned how to treat someone decently!"
I cried out.
Sobs were flying out of my throat and no matter how hard I tried to stop them it was no use.
"Please just stop,’ I begged my voice barely above a whisper.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!"
I screamed when I felt Axel place a hand gently on my knee.
He quickly retracted his hand, looking like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car.
As my crying got harder so did my breathing, my lungs were squirming from the lack of oxygen and my head was pounding.
I gripped my head harder as I started to see black spots, I was fighting to stay conscious.
"Tell me how I can help you, Angel."
Axel pleaded, desperation clear in his voice.
"Leave."
I looked up at him, or I think I was looking at Axel, I was seeing two of him so I wasn't sure.
"No."
Axel gave me a look at if I was stupid.
"Leave me alone Axel!"
I yelled at him.
"No."
His voice was strong.
"You can scream, yell, cry, hell you can even kick and punch me but I'm not leaving you like this."
His voice turning softer.
"Why do you care?"
I snapped at him.
"I don't know!"
He snapped back.
I studied Axel's face trying to understand.
It's more games."I said stop messing with my head!"
I hollered.
"God Mia I wish I was messing with your head!"
He shouted.
"What do you want with me anyway?"
I asked, mentally exhausted.
"To protect you."
He spoke, watching me closely.
"From what exactly?"
I met his eyes.
"From everything.’ His eyes bore into mine.
"From Noah, those people in your journal, from me” He broke eye contact.
If I didn't know better, I would have been certain that Axel could hear my heart hammering in my chest.
My head was spinning, I didn't know what to believe.
"But Angel, there are things I can't tell you.Not yet."
He sighed deeply.
"Please forgive me, for everything"
He looked at me with vulnerability written all over his face.
"Forgiving you is pretty easy, I'm used to it, I've been doing it my whole life.
But tell me, Axel, how am I suppose to forgive myself?"
I asked, practically pleading for him to understand with my eyes.
How was I suppose to look at myself in the mirror after knowing what those people did to me? How I let all those people take
advantage of me? He nodded his head and I watch as his eyes fell to the floor.
"I'll do whatever you want.
His head snapped to mine.
"Anything?"I asked.
"Anything."He agreed.
I thought about it for a while and then finally it dawned on me.
"Since you read my life history I want to know yours; I told him, it sounded fair to me.
"No.He replied immediately, his brown eyes going stone hard.
"Then get out."
I hissed, feeling desperation creep into my body.
"I can't!"
He threw his hands up.
"Why the hell not!"
Anger surging through my veins again.
"Because you've somehow wormed your annoying self under my skin!"
He yelled at me.
"I have this infuriating need to make sure you're okay!"
He gritted his teeth, narrowing his cold eyes at me.
It was now my turn to narrow my eyes at him.
I like to think I was pretty good at reading people, I could tell when they were lying or telling the truth but looking at Axel I had not
the slightest clue.
"I'll be okay when I'm away from you!"
My hands balled into fists.
"Well Angel, that's not happening,’ Axel said smoothly.
"Oh yes, it is! I'll have Rylan to protect me!"
I shouted at him.
My breathing hitched in my throat when I felt the wind brush past me as Axel punched the wall beside me.
"I don't fucking think so."
He snarled.
"You have two options, Axel either tell me what I want to know or leave before I stick my foot so far up your ass you'll choke on
it!"
I threatened.
Axel gave me a deadly look before exhaling frustratingly.
I watch as he shook his head in disbelief before storming out of the room, slamming my door in the process.
I felt relief when my heart started beating at a normal rate and air returned to my lungs, my head was still pounding miserably
though.
I looked at myself in the mirror and cringed.
My eyes were bloodshot and cheeks were bright red.
I quickly whipped away the remaining tears and pushed my hair back away from my face.
Axel's words echoed in my head and I was still not sure how to feel about them.
He made me feel like I wasn't good enough and hard to love, not saying that he loves me.
I don't think he's capable of feeling love.
I grabbed my phone and texted Rylan, telling him I didn't feel well and wasn't going to school.
He asked if I wanted him to bring home soup after school but I kindly told him no.
I crawled back into my bed and laid there underneath the warm blankets.
My eyes started tearing up again realizing that Axel had read my journal.
I was so sick of crying.
I bed them away and forced myself back to sleep, If I wasn't awake I couldn't think.
I woke up a few hours later with my stomach growling.
I really wanted Chicken Alfredo but I knew Rose didn't have the ingredients to make it.
I stumbled down the stairs still in the same clothes as yesterday I hadn't bothered to change.
When I reached the last set of stairs to the main floor my eyes widen as I saw Camila coming up to the second floor to her room.
I guess I wasn't the only one who decided to ditch school today.
I was sure she was going to give me a dirty look or say something insulting towards me but instead she gives me a sad smile.
"Are you okay Camila?"
I asked before she walked into her room.
She looked back at me and that's when I noticed the bruise that sat under her eye.
Camila had beautiful tanned skin but not even her darker complexion could hide that bruise or cut on her lip.
"Did he hit you?"
I asked, already knowing the answer.
"Don't worry about it"
She looked at the ground, opening her door.
"Camila, let me help you."
I pleaded with her.
Even though she was terrible towards me, I couldn't stand aside and watch this happen to her.
"You can't help me."
She forced a laugh, her voice cracking.
"Let me try!"
I pleaded.
"I can get Rylan or even Axel to help you." I insist.
"You can't!"
She shouted quickly.
"I'm not going watch this happen to you,"
I told her, my voice surprisingly strong.
"Why? I watched it happen to you, I defended him when he forced himself on you"
Tears started falling out of her eyes.
"That doesn't matter anymore; I told her.
"Mia he wants you, he's not going to stop sending people after you."
She swallowed hard.
"This isn't about me right now.’ I brushed off the sinking feeling in my stomach.
"You need to leave him; I demanded.
"God Mia, don't you think I've tried?"
She whined.
"The moment I found out he tried to rape you I tried to leave him but he threatened me.’ A sob left her throat.
"How did he threaten you?"
I asked carefully.
"He said if I left him or got anyone from Black Spades involved he'll kill my brother.