Chapter 475
Chapter 475 Stella
I could hardly hold back my giggles as I raced down the hallway toward my bedroom. I dodged a few of the house staff who gave me odd looks, but they didn't try to stop me. By the time I got upstairs, I was out of breath.
I was still getting used to having my own room that wasn't joined to my parents' or my siblings' or grandma's. My room was small but precious for being so private, tucked up away in an attic space with sloping ceilings and a view that took my breath away. Now I flew through the door and tossed myself on the bed, mindful of the bottle of wine I kept gripped in one hand.
I rolled onto my back and let out another long string of giggles as I felt myself shift back into Stella's shape. Papa had looked right at me without guessing who I really was. A hot flood of guilt washed over me, but I felt good, too. If my Papa didn't recognize me, nobody else was going to.
I sat up and looked at the bottle of wine. I had been planning to try some before going out later. I didn't want my first time drinking to be alone in a bar, just in case my body couldn't tolerate it. I was going to be in an entire different body shape, which would be hard enough to handle without also being unexpectedly hammered. Of course, I knew I didn't have to drink at all...but I wanted to.
Now that I knew this face and body could fool even one of my fathers, I wanted to try everything that life could offer me. Drinking, dancing, flirting with strangers. All of it.
First, though, a glass of wine. Just one, while I freshened up my hair and makeup. I'd already looked up the bars in town to make sure they were close enough that I could get there easily without needing to ask my parents to borrow a car.
I didn't even know how to drive.
"Stella?"
I jumped up and off the bed at the knock on my door. The bottle of wine in my hand suddenly felt very heavy. I set it on the desk with a thump. "Come in!"
My mom poked her head around the doorframe. "Just checking in on you."
"I'm fine."
She frowned. "You look a little flushed. Are you "
"I'm fine," I said again, more firmly this time. I cleared my throat and softened my tone as her eyebrows raised. "Sorry. I just...I'm really okay."
"Is it because your clothes aren't right?" My mom's frown deepened. "I told you, we can go shopping again, just the two of us..."
I looked down at the ill-fitting jeans and top. "Oh, no...they're fine. I mean, yeah, they don't... Mom, I really just would like to be alone!"
The shouted words hung in the air between us, which surprised me. They felt so heavy, I was sure each one would plummet to the ground and stab the hardwood floors with the force of bullets. Instead, all that happened was my mother took a step away from me.
"Of course," she said in a stiff tone unlike any I'd ever heard from her before.
It was so obvious that I'd hurt her feelings, and I wanted to cry. At the same time, I wanted to shout again. To drive her back, out of my room. I wanted her to leave me alone so I could try out this wine and get my face on the right way so I could go out and try to meet friends.
"I just thought we could spend some time together," my mom said. "That's all."
"Mom, I love you, but I'd just like to be by myself. I don't need you to try to be my best friend. Even if I am a grownup now, I'm still your kid."
I tried to keep my voice light, but it came out harsh and grating. It was honest, though. I could see she understood that. It didn't make me feel any better, but what had happened was done.
Her gaze cut over to the bottle on the desk. Her eyebrows arched even higher, but the corners of her mouth turned down lower. "I'm not sure I care for your tone, young lady. As you pointed out, you might be grown up, but you're still my kid."
My mother had rarely raised her voice to me. I'd been a model child, of course. I'd only ever gotten in enough trouble to keep anyone from suspecting that I might look like an infant or a toddler, but I was, in fact, fully aware of everything. She'd never had to discipline me for being truly naughty.
I don't think either one of us liked this very much.
But neither one of us was going to say so. No matter what kind of talents I had, once cruel words were spoken, I couldn't take them back.
"I'll just leave you, then," she said.
I nodded. "Close the door on the way out, please."
She did.