Mary's Path

In the days that followed, Mary spent all her time in the tower with the gray-clad people and the aari. She didn’t go out into the rest of the castle because she had a fear that everything was just a dream, and if she were to leave the room, she would have to go back to her old life.

Copa was her constant companion. It seemed like the Lady had ordered him to take care of Mary. Mary didn’t mind. She still found peace and comfort in his company. She didn’t remember when she felt so relaxed and content.

Mary tried not to think about the people who were outside the safe walls and the familiar rooms. But on the second day in the tower, as she sat looking out over the castle courtyard as usual, she saw Zerden.

She saw him cross the courtyard and then disappear behind a couple of buildings. Mary knew he was heading for the gardens, and she knew who he was meeting. She felt a sharp stab in the heart and turned away. She didn’t want to think about it, not now.

---

Kopa saw and felt the change in Mary’s mood, even though he didn’t know the cause. He had tried to coax the confident and courageous girl he knew from before from the cautious and discouraged young woman who had taken her place.

He thought he was succeeding, but suddenly she seemed withdrawn and depressed again. He didn’t know what to do. He just remained at her side to let her know she was not alone. In the evening, he decided to talk to the Lady about it.

“Do you know what weighs on her?” she asked him. He shook his head. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a broken heart or a secret love” the Lady told him. “Girls her age usually suffer from things like that” she continued with a small smile.

The thought of trying to talk to Mary about love and courting filled Kopa with pure panic that he had never felt before. The Lady apparently noticed his mood.

“Don’t worry, I’ll talk to her,” she said, her smile becoming bigger as she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

---

Mary sat and looked silently into the dark evening when she saw a reflection in the window and turned around. The Lady came walking towards her. Mary had to hold back a will to stand up and curtsey, the Lady had said she didn’t want Mary to do that.

“Do you have time to talk with me, Mary?” asked the Lady.

“Of course” Mary replied.

“How about we go into my room, there we can get some peace and quiet?” suggested the Lady, leading the way.

The lady’s room consisted of a separate living room and inside of that there was the bedroom. The lady led the way to a small sofa that stood by one of the walls and they both sat down in it.

“It seems that something is weighing on you, my friend. Is there anything you need to talk about?” asked the Lady gently. Mary lowered her eyes and shook her head, but she felt the tears burn in her eyes.

“When I was your age, I was up over my ears in love with one of the young recruits who came to Salmis. He didn’t know I existed, and I spent many nights crying over his recent flirtation with other girls” the Lady said.

Mary looked at her in amazement, she couldn’t believe anyone could not notice the Lady. Mary had never seen a more beautiful woman in her life, she must be able to get any man she wanted.

“What did you do?” asked Mary. The Lady laughed softly.

“I decided to start studying with to become an aari, because that would mean I would be closer to him. I was hoping he would notice me. But once I started studying, I discovered that I was more interested in the knowledge than in the young man. A few months later, I had almost forgoten about him.”

“Several years later, I experienced what love should feel like, and I can say that true love is based on shared respect and care for the other person. It is not one sided or cruel ” she said.

Mary looked at her and felt a single tear running down her cheek. As if that tear had been a key to a lock, it unleashed a flood of emotions, Mary told the Lady everything.

She told her about Zerden and their friendship, her feelings for him, about lady Sarah and about her heartbreak. Tears ran down her cheeks and the Lady listened patiently to her. When Mary couldn’t get any more words out, the Lady reached for her and held her as she wept.

Slowly, the Lady caressed Mary over her hair and mumbled comforting words in a language Mary didn’t understand. But she didn’t have to understand the words to understand the meaning and she felt safe where she was.

---

Tariana slowly cradled the crying Mary. She tried to stay calm, but inside she was fuming. That someone could be so heartless and ignorant was beyond her.

She admitted that she was somewhat biased when it came to Mary, Mary had always awoken Tariana’s maternal instincts, and it was only that insight that prevented her from asking the boy’s head on a platter. Maybe it was lucky, she thought, that she hadn’t had a daughter of her own.

When Mary’s tears had stopped falling, Tariana let go of her.

“It’s going to be okay, my friend,” she said, holding out a handkerchief toward Mary. Mary wiped her tears a little embarrassed in it. “I think we’d both would feel better with a cup of hot milk,” Tariana said. “If you stay, I’ll go and get us some.”

---

Mary stayed with the Lady for several hours. The topics of conversation turned to more cheerful things and when she finally went out to join Kopa, Mary felt much better.

Kopa sat in his usual spot and took care of one of his weapons. He reminded her a lot of the castellan, Mary thought, that thought brought on an idea. She went up to one of the red ropes that called a servant and pulled it. A few moments later, a servant appeared.

It still felt strange giving orders to servants, it wasn’t that long ago she was one of them. But as soon as she asked her question, the servant disappeared with a promise to come back as soon as he could.

It didn’t even take more than five minutes before he again came walking, now carrying the object Mary had asked for. Mary thanked him and then went over to Kopa.

“Do you play Kai?” she asked, holding out the board the servant had brought up for her. Kopa looked up at her and shook her head. “Do you want to learn?” she asked.

“Let’s give it a try,” he replied, putting away what he had been working on. Mary went through the rules and soon they both played concentrated. Mary had a clear advantage in the first times. But the game seemed to suit Kopa because soon they were almost equals.

They sat hunched over the game the rest of the evening, the Lady stood a bit away and watched them with Mildy and Leana. They belong together, she thought and all three aaris smiled softly at the sight.

The day after spring showed its true colors and the rain poured down. Mary and Kopa took their place near one of the fireplaces where a fire crackled and continued to play Kai. Sometimes they talked, but for the most part they played in silence and they both enjoyed it.

Eventually, they were joined by Leana and Mildy, who sat down and embroidered and chatted quietly next to them.

The rain lasted for three days, and for three days the small group sat at the table near the fire. Mary felt better than she could remember ever feeling and without her having noticed it herself, she started to smile more often.

The bruise on her cheek was about to disappear, Mary had been given an ointment to put on by Mildy and it had removed the swelling and soreness. Unaware of it, Mary began to heal both spiritually and physically.

When the sun finally came out, she felt restless and wanted to move around. As usual, the Lady would be in council all day. But she managed to convince Kopa to go with her.

“We can walk a little bit in the city. I want to show you the city,” she said cheerfully. Kopa couldn’t refuse her, especially when she finally seemed happy. Mary ran to get her coat and when she came back again, Kopa stood and put on his grey robe.

Mary stopped and stared at him. His robe was held together by a silver buckle shaped like a dragon, the same buckle she had given him. She hadn’t noticed that he was wearing it the day he got her from the kitchen. She gave him a beaming smile and together they went out into the castle.