Maliha

Maliha’s eyelids subconsciously slid closed as she savoured the husky timbre of Ujarak’s self-depreciating laugh. It had been such a long time since she had heard him laugh but even the sweet sound could not drown out the lingering pain that his cruel words had left behind. As if sensing her change of thoughts, Ujarak reached out to stroke her cheek.

“Food has been the last thing on my mind,” he chuckled dryly.

“Well what has been on your mind?” Maliha muttered. She felt awkward under the flickering eyes of all the inquisitive people that tried to subtly watch their interaction. Maliha stared down at her fingers, plucking at them in deep concentration.

Ujarak’s thick rough finger lifted her chin until she was piercing into those eyes that had always made her feel so much emotion, both good and bad.

“You, maliha. You and Enzo have been all that was on my mind these past weeks. I have been plagued with thoughts of you and whether you were both alive…” His voice cracked, and tears welled in his eyes. The emotion there in every pore of his being. “I was scared that I had lost my only chance at having true love.”

His emotions were so raw, so real that Maliha felt herself being sucked into his words and feelings. How could she turn away this man when he was all she had wanted but the more she stared at him, the more her mind was clouded by all of his previous words and how they had torn her to pieces. Obliterated her heart.

How could she trust anything he said to her?

“What did you say?” he snivelled, staring at her quizzically.

Maliha licked her dry lips as she stared at him apathetically. “I said your love seems to be very fickle Ujarak. I only have your love when you want to make up for a wrong.” She shook out of his hold, her eyes hardening as she stared at the man before her. His appearance suggested that her absence genuinely affected him, but his actions had placed too much doubt for Maliha to see his love as anything but what it was.

“You wield your love like a weapon and I was too love starved to notice it before, but I see it now. Your idea of love is tainted but the past that you have always struggled to let go of.”

Lost, lost was the only way she could describe Ujarak’s expression. Lost and confused but what had he truly expected, that he would come and give her a few love words and she would forgive him. She had forgiven him time and time again and it had gotten her nowhere but hurt. This time around a few insipid words were not enough. She needed more, Maliha deserved more.

“I appreciate you coming her to find us, but I think this separation is-

“Maliha.” The wave of anger and frustration that she had been preparing to dose Ujarak with instantly disappeared as the familiar figures pushed their way through the crowd.

“Xiuri, Kamir!” she cried, pulling them both into rough hugs and squeezing them tight. She yanked her body away when she felt the hardening of Xiuri’s stomach. “Xiuri, are you? -“

“Yes,” Xiuri cried. “Kamir didn’t want to let me travel in my condition and even I was a bit scared after everything but once I heard what Ujarak said to you, I knew had to take the risk. I wasn’t sure if I would ever see you again otherwise.” Xiuri spat over her shoulder when she mentioned her leaders name. Shooting the disheartened man, a glare.

Kamir gently rubbed Xiuri’s shoulder as he shot an apologetic glance at Ujarak’s retreating form before pushing his leader and friend to the back of his mind. “I’m so glad we found you, and where is Enzo?”

As if hearing his name, Enzo came barrelling through the lingering crowd and charged straight for Kamir’s legs. His small arms wrapped tight around the man as he called his excitement. Kamir chuckled loudly, as he pulled Enzo into his arms, messing up his hair as he took in the small changes.

“Where did you run off too?” Kamir grinned, smoothing his thumb over Enzo’s cheek affectionately. Enzo squeezed Kamir tightly before climbing down from his hold, he slowly made his rounds. Hugging Xiuri affectionately and lightly rubbing her small stomach before standing by Maliha’s side where she absentmindedly patted him and rubbed his hair in care.

“I can’t believe you are here,” Maliha grinned in awe.

“I know. I didn’t think this day would ever come but your leaving made it happen. The first thing Ujarak did when he realised you had left was come here.”

Enzo perked up at the mention of his adoptive father’s name. “Ujarak is here?”

“Yes, he is here somewhere.” Maliha peered into the crowd until she caught sight of Ujarak standing side by side with her brother and father. He looked frustrated and annoyed by whatever her father was saying, which made Maliha feel smug. “He’s over there.”

No sooner had she pointed Ujarak out had Enzo run off. His little feet beat into the ground a she pushed people out of his way until he was charging at Ujarak. at first, Maliha smiled on as he ran towards Uja but her smile quickly turned into a frown and then panic as Enzo charged into Ujarak, catching the man by surprise as they toppled to the floor. Maliha shouted in alarm as Enzo swung at Uja, his little fist swiping wildly as he cried and shouted in anger.

“Enzo,” she called frantically, running through the crowd and snatching his dangling body out of her brothers’ arms.

“I hate him,’ Enzo sobbed. His hands still swinging wildly as he tried to jerk from Maliha’s arms. “Shh, she soothed,” pulling him tighter to her body. She gripped his hands with her own and spun him to face her. “Look at me Enzo,” she croaked, commanding him with her voice alone.

His watery grey eyes stared up at her as his small body shook with tears. “Why didn’t he love us?” Maliha was stuck for words as Enzo sobbed into her chest.

“He did Enzo, he does. Ujarak just-“

“No, he didn’t. If he did, he wouldn’t have said those mean things. He wouldn’t have made you cry. He wouldn’t have let us go. He doesn’t love us. I hate him. I hate him. I hate- “

“Shh, it’s okay,” Maliha soothed, pulling Enzo’s head into her shoulder as she lifted him into her arms like a baby. She slowly rocked him back and forth as she angrily watched Ujarak be helped to his feet. Maliha had tried her hardest to keep her words as polite as possible whenever Ujarak was mentioned around Enzo. She had never bad mouthed him to anybody, but it seemed that Enzo was a lot more perceptive than she had given him credit for.

Maliha glared at Ujarak, a sharp sense of glee bubbling within her as she noted the scar she had left on his face and the small trickles of blood that dripped from his lip.

Ujarak dusted himself off, looking around at both members of his tribe and the Nah Barros before focussing back on the small boy whose heart had been broken by his words and Maliha’s actions. The sense of guilt was crippling for Maliha and was a feeling she resented.

“Enzo,” Ujarak mutter quietly, slowly approaching them. Enzo jerked away from the large hand that lay splayed across his back, his hold tightening against Maliha as his cries continued to dampen her skin. Ujarak looked to her for some guidance as his hand slipped away but her arched brow had him placing his hand back on Enzo’s back. Her steady stare made something click within himself.

“Enzo,” Ujarak repeated but this time his voice was stronger, more assertive as he demanded the little boy listen to his words. “I am so very sorry for hurting you. I do love you, I love both of you, so very much and sometimes I struggle to show that. I never meant to hurt your mama, that was never my intention, but I have never been good with love.

I didn’t realise how much power my words would have and I’m sorry. Sorry for saying those mean things that neither you or Maliha should have ever heard and I’m sorry for not finding you sooner. I do love you Enzo. You are my son in all ways that matter and I know I’m not the greatest father but if you forgive me, I will try my hardest to be the best I can be for you?”

There was a tense moment of silence where Maliha could see all of Ujarak’s hopes dropping to his feet. The silence trampled on his dreams and it showed in his sunken posture. Just as Ujarak’s hand began to move from the firm place on Enzo’s back, Enzo’s head lifted from his hiding place on Maliha’s shoulder.

His tanned skin was red, and his cheeks damp with tears. Enzo wiped at his nose, snivelling back his cries as he stared at Ujarak inquisitively. “Do you really mean it?”

Ujarak wasn’t sure what in particular it was that Enzo asking him to confirm, but Uja knew that everything he had said was the truth. “I swear it Enzo. I love you and I should have never said those things. I didn’t mean to hurt you both.”

Maliha’s lips remained pursed tightly together, her gaze fixated on everything but the man in front of her. She couldn’t bear to look at him while he poured his heart out, it would only make her conviction waiver and she couldn’t abide that. Not after everything he had said and done.

Enzo looked to Maliha for encouragement and so she forcibly relaxed her mouth into the most natural smile she could conjure up. “People make mistakes. It’s okay to forgive him Enzo.” Her encouragement was all Enzo needed to launch himself at Ujarak.

The moment Enzo was safely in Ujarak’s embrace and being smothered by his father’s loving words, Maliha slowly began her retreat. As much as she wanted to witness the beautiful moment, she had too many emotions that Ujarak’s apology had brought to the surface.

It hadn’t slipped her mind that had Enzo not attacked Ujarak, she may have never received an apology if those words to Enzo were truly to be considered as such.

Making her way through the crowd of celebrants and watchers, Maliha began her walk to the perch her father had first shown her. Knowing that it was a place that her mother had often found solace was one of the main driving factors for Maliha visiting the historic place. She wiped the sweat from her forehead as she made it to the top of the climb. She slowly made her way to the edge of the cliff. Her eyes shuttered closed as she sucked in the salty tang of the air. Her body began to sway to the ocean’s song, the cool water sloshing against the jagged rocks at the edge of the island’s cliffs. Maliha’s body tingled as a feeling of serenity and peace began to wash over her.

Slowly opening her eyes, Maliha slowly saluted the morning sun, before sinking down to the grass, her back leaning against one of the wooden posts that had once been part of the bridges structure.

“I think I know why she always came up here. Not because it reminded her of home, though I’m sure the view did. This view just brings clarity, it brings peace. The sound of water has always done that for me.”

“I think you might be right.” Maliha smiled gently up at her father as he slowly sank down into the grass beside her. Kaori closed his eyes and let the swishing sounds of the waves drown out his thoughts. “Iona was right. There is such tranquillity and beauty in nature. You must get that perceptiveness from your mother.”

Maliha smiled mournfully at the new knowledge. Every time she learnt of a trait she shared with her mother made Maliha both happy and mournful. It was hard learning of the existence and death of her other at the same time. She was still struggling to come to terms with it all.

“I saw her you know? During the Seh. She was holding me as a baby and then she touched my cheek. My mother welcomed me home.”

Maliha gripped her father’s hand as he snivelled back his tears, but they kept trailing down his cheeks. “She was so happy to have you both. She loved me but the love she held for you and your brother.” Kaori shook his head as he tried to voice the feeling he often saw on his Solah’s face. “It was indescribable. You both brought her such joy.”

Maliha and Kaori both sniffled their tears away as they had a few moments of silence for Iona, a woman who Maliha had inherited not only her eyes and facial structure but if she were to believe her father, Maliha had also inherited her propensity to love and forgive.

At the thought of forgiveness Maliha’s whole mood darkened. She didn’t know what to do regarding Ujarak but felt as if the reuniting of these two tribes was tied to her ability to forgive him.

“Father?”

“Mmm,” he hummed staring off into the distance.

“Do you think I should just forgive him?”

Kaori heaved deeply as he looked to his daughter. “I don’t think it is my place to suggest anything as I have no true understanding of how his words affected you. I know what he said was deplorable and the first moment he stepped foot onto my land and I found out what transpired between you, I let him know with my fist and my boot how disgusted and angry I was.”

Maliha nodded her head slowly, this was the third time someone had mentioned Ujarak appearing in the Nah Barros land. First her Aunt Filsan had accidently let it slip and then Kamir had all but confirmed it not too long ago, and now again with her father. Maliha was unsure how that made her feel and so she ignored the emotions and continued to listen to her father speak.

“He didn’t strike me back and in fact begged for my forgiveness and in turn I had no hope but to forgive him. You may wonder why, but the reality is that, though most of his insults were unwarranted, what my tribe and the La Aquy did to the Nah Barros and that little boy has left more scars than we had ever imagined.

It was as if the Goddess and creator of all life, Savuriya, was punishing my kin because of the wrong I had openly committed and instead of continuing the cycle of resentment and disparity between us, instead of harbouring those ill feelings any longer, I let them go. Do I think you should just forgive him for the sake of it? No, but what I do think is that the actions of a man speak louder than any words he may or may not have uttered.”

The knowing look he sent Maliha had her laughing loudly. It was such a fatherly look, one she had seen Razi Godji, her adoptive father and leader of the Melikit tribe send his daughters on many occasions. It was the same look that Razi Matin gave to both Femi and Nkechi. Regardless of the years of Maliha’s absence her father knew her well and it brought her deep comfort.

Resting her head on his shoulders, she lightly whispered her thanks as they watched the beautiful hues the sun created over the lapping crystalline sea.