Making the Galaxy Great

Agent McCauley arrived in fluorescent yellow shorts and a damp navy tank, as if she’d just been at the boxing gym pummeling some unfortunate sparring partner.

“At least I can see you don’t have a gun,” he said.

McCauley nodded, emotionless. Her eyes were hard, like brown pebbles, but her mouth wriggled slightly. “Give me whatever you found and we’re done and I won’t bother you any more.”

“Ah, more of those interpersonal skills at work,” he replied. “They must teach that at the Federal Security Operations Academy.”

His heart had been thumping since he’d first looked at the hologram, and the moment he’d spotted her on the sidewalk it had morphed into rolling thunder. He should stop antagonizing her, but he couldn’t help himself; everything about her demeanor seemed to whisper to him to be rude. And besides, what he’d seen on the holograph could not be unseen.

They were standing in the open hallway by his front door, between the entrances to the living room on one side and the dining room on the other.

“Look, Mr. Fleming, I get it. You think I’m a real bitch, but you have no idea what’s going on here. And it’s really safer for you if it stays that way. So why don’t you just give me what you found—”

“Aliens,” Jason blurted out. “That’s what it’s about, isn’t it?”

She tried to control her reaction but he saw the split second of awkward surprise . “Aliens? What the hell? You’re really—”

“And I think there’s more than one type,” Jason went on, unconsciously backing up as he spoke. “The person in the hoodie, they’re one kind. And the ones I saw on the holograph, they look different. But they’re all aliens, aren’t they? Either that or it’s some really fucked up genetic experiment.”

Agent McCauley’s jaw returned to its fully clenched position, as if she were preparing to munch on some rebar. “You’re completely insane, or those were some bad drugs you and your high school girlfriend were doing last night.”

Jason’s chest was thumping so hard it was difficult to speak. “I know what I saw. And who has a brooch that plays holograms? I mean, that’s some high-tech spyware. So exactly what kind of agent are you, Agent McCauley? Is it something like the X-files?”

McCauley shook her head. “You clearly watch way too much TV when you’re not doing drugs.”

Jason stood firm. “If you want the holographic device, you have to give me an explanation.”

McCauley stared at him as though trying to pulverize him with her eyes. Then she abruptly turned her head away. “I can’t, or I’ll lose my job. And you could lose your life.”

Jason felt his heart slam to a stop. Her voice had a different quality to it. Truthfulness.

“I have a daughter,” he said weakly.

“You have a daughter? Poor woman.”

“She’s only thirteen. She’s not a woman yet.”

“I meant the woman you impregnated.”

Thoroughly incited, Jason said: “She’s not my biological daughter. A friend of mine from college, he and his girlfriend, they actually did do a lot of drugs. Painkillers, heroin. They’re both in rehab. Long story short, I adopted Shelby to keep her out of foster care.”

He watched McCauley’s face go from stern to churn. “I . . .”

“Just kidding. I used to be married and she’s mine. Just wanted to see if there’s a heart beating in there.” He started to point at McCauley’s chest, but her taut breasts pressing against the tight tank top caused him to think better of it.

“Mr. Fleming, give me the damn device. The less you know the better.”

“Too late. I already know some things,” Jason told her. “And I can imagine the rest. I have a pretty good imagination.”

“And I’m sorry about that,” she said. But Jason noticed what she didn’t say this time: that he was crazy, that there were no aliens. “Look, you just parked your car in the wrong place on the wrong night. You need to forget—”

There was an aggressive knock at the door. Agent McCauley instantly jumped between Jason and the door, sweeping him behind her with one of her powerful arms.

“Jason! I know you’re in there. I see your car out here!”

Jason sighed. “My ex-wife,” he whispered quickly. “The poor woman I impregnated.”

“Get her out of here,” McCauley commanded.

Jason opened the door halfway. Candice stood there, with Shelby right behind her. He could see that Shelby had been crying. Candice held Shelby’s purple overnight bag in her left hand.

“Umm, what are you doing here?” he asked gingerly.

Candice put her hands on her hips. “I texted you twice. I need you to take your daughter for a while. She was supposed to be at Molly’s until dinner today, but somebody got into a snit with her friends and had to come home. And I’ve got an appointment in half an hour. I texted you, like, five times.”

She brushed past Jason and his outstretched arm and tossed Shelby’s overnight bag on the floor.

This was one of the rare times that Jason was not delighted at the prospect of bonus time with Shelby. “I can’t really take her right now,” he started to say, but it was too late. Candice had noticed Agent McCauley.

“Yes, I can see why. It’s all clear now. I saw you outside The Grinder when I was leaving last night. This was all planned, wasn’t it? You’re the reason he couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”

Jason thought he saw the faintest shadow of a smile pass over McCauley’s face. “Oh, I’m not the one he brought back to the house last night,” she told Candice. “That one was a lot younger and had tattoos all over her legs.”

Candice turned her crimson, outraged face toward Jason. “What the hell? Your ‘colleague’ that you kept gawking at? ”

Jason bugged his eyes and frowned at Agent McCauley. “Thank you, that was extremely helpful.”

Candice glared at them both with narrowed eyes that seemed ready to burst into flames. “If he brought the other one home, what the hell are you doing here?”

McCauley’s lips pressed together as she appeared to be puzzling over Candice’s tantrum. “Well . . . we work together, too.”

Candice exploded. In fact, Jason imagined her brains spewing like lava from the top of her head. “Oh my God! You are one sick puppy, Jason Fleming. Are you literally banging every woman at work? I can’t believe I have to leave my daughter at this . . . swinger’s club.”

“You don’t,” Jason pleaded, feeling his face turn as red as Candice’s. “You can’t.”

“Dad, what happened to your head?” asked Shelby. “There’s blood.”

Without thinking, Jason felt around the bandage at the back of his head. It felt slightly damp; he was bleeding again. “Would you believe I had to help a girl who was being mugged in the parking lot last night?”

“Oh my God,” said Candice. “Why can’t you just tell the truth?”

Jason gave Shelby a sideways glance. “You know why, don’t you?” he asked her.

“Because the truth always falls short of our expectations,” she said, repeating the phrase he’d taught her.

Candice turned and stormed through the front door. “I have got to go,” she called back. “But we need to talk about your issues. Soon!”

It was perfectly quiet in the house for a moment after she left. Jason smiled at Shelby, then glanced at Agent McCauley. “So . . . Shelby, this lady is Ms. McCauley. Ms. McCauley, this is my daughter Shelby, who is only thirteen and deserves to live a long, full life.”

McCauley rolled her eyes at Jason. “Nice to meet you, Shelby.”

Shelby glanced back and forth between the two adults with the eyes of a detective. “Are you two . . .?”

Jason and Agent McCauley answered in unison. “No!”

“Honey, why don’t you go call some of your friends and see if anyone wants to meet up at the pool? I can take you over in a few minutes.”

“I low-key hate all of my friends at the moment,” she replied.

Jason assumed this was better than high-key hating them. “How come? Something happen at Molly’s?”

Shelby explained that she and several other friends had been at Molly’s for a sleepover when the subject turned to boys. One of the girls accused Shelby of having a crush on a boy named Max and all of the other girls laughed.

“There was something wrong with his mouth and he had an operation when he was a baby and now his lip sort of looks weird,” said Shelby.

“Maybe a cleft palate?” said Jason.

“I think so.”

“Is he nice?” Jason asked his daughter. “Is he smart? Funny?”

Shelby shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“So it’s no crime if you like him. And let me tell you, when he’s twenty, a lot of girls may be after him. I mean, I know it’s hard to believe, but I was actually kind of a nerd when I was thirteen, and now look at me. I’ve got all these women after me, like —”

Jason glanced over toward the dining room entrance where Agent McCauley had been standing but she was nowhere to be seen. Neither was the brooch. And his phone was turned off.

“Wow, dad,” said Shelby wearily. “Like, I see what you mean. Women just can’t leave you alone.”

Jason fingered the holograph device in his pants pocket. Would McCauley return his grandmother’s brooch when she realized it wasn’t a piece of alien technology?