Make Me

Lucifer's presence left, and now I was all alone again, fearing that these might be the last breaths I take, yet I was hurrying to inhale them.

"Ju...Jude..." I begged to no one as if the air or the sky could've reacted to my demand of seeing the demon. I could hardly take in the things around me, my sight was too blurry to do so.

"Don't speak..." I heard a low voice demand. He sounded strange... Jude's voice always had a certain mystery to it, because I never knew what he was thinking about, but now the emotion that his tone held was perfectly clear. Fear. Why was he scared?

"Are you frightened?" I wondered in my dizzy state, while I felt a sudden and strong pain in my back again, then something wrapped around my torso tightly... like clothing or something. I heard him throw away the knife, a little bit further from

us.

"Shut up" He growled stronger now, but I could still hear that strange... panic? Worry? I'm not sure what it was exactly.

"You'll be fine, just stop talking." his voice was now softer, and I slowly opened my eyes, to see his face. Those sharp and dark features now looked more human than I have ever seen him, and that's when it hit me... the strange tone of his voice, this expression.

He was... he was scared that I might die. Or at least he looked like he was in more distress than I have ever seen him before.

It's true though, he would lose my soul if I were to die before we kill anyone.

A small smile appeared on my lips, and I sat up as much as I could move, putting my hand on his shoulder for support.

"So that's what worry looks like on your face... It's odd" my words came out low and raspy, and even he was surprised that I could still talk. Our eyes met, and his expression calmed a bit down as if my insolence ensured him that I'll make it out alive.

"Well... the good news is, Veronica is just as bad at stabbing people, as she is at making up lies... The bad news is you are still a brat, it seems the knife didn't change much" he concludes, giving me a small half-smile. I wanted to chuckle, but it would've hurt too much, so I left out this opportunity. I glanced down, seeing that he stopped the bleeding with my suit-jacket, or at least with a torn piece of it.

"Is Harvis here already?" my question struck him surprised, obviously, because he couldn't believe I really mean to go through with the plan in this state.

I wasn't stupid, I knew I couldn't do what I had wanted to originally... but I was filled with spite and anger, and I knew, there is no fucking way, I will let the angels or Lucifer get away with this.

They will learn once and for all, that if they get in my way... the consequences will be so much worse than the thing they tried to stop. If they want me to be that damned Chaos guy, they can be my fucking guests.

"Yes, he is but, there is no way you can stand up straight, let alone seduce him" he reminded me, but also scanned my expression. He knew I had something else in mind.

"You... you said you have powers, but you can't use it in a way that mortals would realize it was supernatural?" I continued, and he hesitantly nodded, more curious by the second.

"Lock the doors... and burn it to the ground... We'll leave no witnesses alive; no one will know what started the fire"

Jude stared at me silently, his eyes widened ever so slightly, shock clearly displayed on his usually laid-back face. I didn't take my eyes off him; not like I could see him that well anyway. Even though everything was still blurry, I knew what his eyes were trying to read from mine:

Do I know that nearly 60 people will burn alive with Harvis?

"Do you have the power to do that?" I urged, and he nodded again, slowly accepting my decision. I don't think that he felt sorry for those people, he just didn't think I'd do that.

Truth be told, neither did I think I'd do something like that... but to my defence, this is not my fault. If they would've let me be, only one man would've died tonight.

"Quite a drastic decision, might I say" he gently added, slowly and carefully getting me into his arms, and he stood, carrying me bridal style. Every movement hurt, but I didn't bother.

"They tried to kill me, to prevent a murder... I'll give them a massacre... I'll give Veronica, a massacre. Burn it down... please." with that, I felt myself slipping away from reality again, and I laid my head on his chest, lazily and weakly wrapping my arms around his neck.

"As you wish, Darling" his voice echoed in my ears, floating in a strange state of almost awake.

I had a faint memory of Jude's sweet smell, mixed with smoke, while everything was... very hot. The world seemed to be burning around us, and screams echoed distantly, as I slowly lost my conscious completely.

***

"Fuck" I growled, as I turned in the bed, and a sharp pain reminded me, not to move too much. Slowly opening my eyes, I recognized that I was in our hotel room, more specifically in the king-sized bed.

Taking in my surroundings, I pushed myself up to a sitting position, holding back my painful groans and moans. I was in boxers, most of my chest was covered in bandages. I was impressed that Jude knew how to put these on me, to be honest.

My pillows smelled like Veronica's hair, and my stomach curled into a small ball, remembering the events of the night before... Was it the night before? How long have I been out?

I glanced to my side, only to see Jude sleeping uncomfortably in an armchair, hanging his long legs off it since there was no way he could've fit in that tiny place.

"It's hard to sleep when someone is staring at you" he said suddenly, gently opening his eyes. I gave him a weak smile, still not completely at my senses yet.

"How long have I been out?" I asked the thing that was on my mind the most.

"2 days. You woke up a few times and said nonsensical things then blacked out again... You gave me a heart attack. If you were going to die this early in your life, I would've surely killed you again in hell." He mumbled, a little sleepily, as he slowly sat up normally, obviously having pain in his back from sleeping in such a position.

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"Veronica stabbed me..." I said quietly as if we didn't both knew that already "Where is she?"

"Didn't have time to look for her, but she's probably with Leon... I knew something is up with that bitch, but I didn't think she was a blessed." he explained, fingers running through his dark hair. "Blessed?"

"Humans, under the authority of angels. They do their dirty works since angels can't kill or hurt anyone..."

I stayed quiet, as the events of that night slowly came back to me... the blood, the pain, the cold marble floor under me, and the undeniable desire to cease to exist. Lucifer's hand on my back, lulling me to a deadly slumber... My chest still hurt from the moment when I realized, Veronica betrayed me... I think he ripped my heart right out of my chest... Quite literally. I felt numb, and nonchalant now.

And then... my own voice... All that anger and hatred, that seemed to tick something off in me. Something that I couldn't turn back on again... something was missing, I could feel it in my chest, just as I could when I sold myself to Jude in hell... I crossed one more line, one more thing I did not think I'd be able to do.

"Burn it to the ground"

I froze, remembering as the demand left my lips... the smell of smoke filling my lungs... But the scariest part was the memory of rush I felt... the power. On my command, people got deleted from this earth.

I felt equally sick, and comforted, which twisted my lips into a violent and bitter smile.

"I want to see it" I demanded deeply, first quietly, but when Jude didn't reply, my furious gaze shot up to him.

"DID I STUTTER, JUDE?" I barked violently, leaving the demon annoyingly unfazed, but he just nodded and stepped over to the wardrobe that we had in the hotel room, pulling pants and a dark shirt out of it, and laying them next to me on the bed. I didn't protest as he helped the shirt on me and dressed me up, then assisted me with my pants as well. It wasn't easy to move around even while sitting, so I needed him to do it anyway.

"I bought you something..." he prompted. I glanced at him surprised, letting my guard down a little bit. Raising to his full height and he left the bed once again, searching in the room for a while, before returning with his so-called gift. It was a walking stick, the kind that you would normally see in historical movies, in the villain's hand. The hilt of it formed a wolf's head, and it was made of silver. As for the rest of the stick, it was dark wood, probably mahogany, by the elegant almost velvet look of it.

"The knife damaged a few nerves near your spine. You'll have trouble using your right leg fully for a while, at least that's what the doctor said... And I knew your pride would kill you if you'd need to walk around with a crutch..."

My jaw clenched as he explained the situation. Obviously, I wasn't happy that I most likely lost a good chunk of my physical capability, but still, the walking-stick looked like Jude really spent time on choosing it for me. I just wished I'd only have it when I grew old.

"The grip is made of almost pure silver... Which means, it burns any underworld creature, who touches it." he added, handing the stick to me, as I inspected the handle a little more. It was beautiful and precise work for sure. "Thank you, Jude" I said quietly but sincerely. Not for the stick, most of all, but for the rest of the things that were left unsaid. He, after all, saved my life.

I slowly reached for his shoulders, and he bent down to offer them to me. I gripped the handle of my stick and pushed myself onto my feet. It was painful, but I was able to walk soon enough with only the support of my new accessory.

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"Bring me to the house. I want to see the ruins" I repeated my first request a little tamer than before and he gently nodded. I noticed a small change in his eyes as well, the way he looked at me... it was less predatory than before. It might just be, that I managed to prove myself as an equal to Jude, and the thought displayed a bitter smile on my lips.

We managed to walk down, while I tried to get the hang of walking with the stick as my only support, ignoring the pain that occurred with every step.

I kept close to the demon, probably unconsciously, my soul and body knew how vulnerable I was now...

It took a 20-minute drive, to get to the house, so did the last time we came here. Jude helped me out of the vehicle, and strongly relying on the walking stick I limped a few steps, so I could see the mansion better... but there was nothing to really see.

What was once a luxurious, almost palace-like home, now stood on the level of the ground, the bricks and parts of the walls betraying the fact that it did exist, even if it didn't seem like it anymore.

My eyes couldn't bear to look away from the damage I had done... what Jude had done, per se, but to my demand. The familiar rush, mixed with guilt-filled my chest as it occurred to me for the first time, that I might just be the man, everyone thought me to be. I might just be... destructive.

Of course, I still didn't believe Judas was Jude, but at this point, I didn't think it would be impossible for me to want to murder Lucifer.

"How many people died?" I asked, assuming he had seen the news... things like that get in all the papers, these were rich people, which obviously means they are important too... yeah, sure.

"They are not sure exactly... the corpses they could find have a body-count of 71."

I slowly closed my eyes, trying to un-hear what he just said, even though it shouldn't have surprised me. I forced down my urge to throw up with a frown, and opened my eyes, facing the ruins once again.

This is not my fault... I only went for Harvis. It's... It's what the angels deserved. I sincerely hope, Veronica was petrified, watching the news, and knowing, she was such a piss poor enemy, that she couldn't even stab me properly... Just another person, added to my list.

Jude and I stood there, side by side staring at the remaining parts of the once-mansion, slowly losing interest in the tragedy, as my heart couldn't be bothered to carry the remorse anymore.

"Before I left with Veronica.... what did you want to say?" I asked suddenly, catching his attention easily. I felt his gaze on me, so I turned mine as well, to meet his eyes.

"What does it matter now?" his avoidance gave me confidence in my guess. I looked back at the ruins, swallowing a little.

"I would've danced with you." my voice barely hit the minimum volume that is still hearable, so I wasn't sure if he heard me, but I was too afraid to look at his face to check.

After a while of silence, I carefully glanced at him, deciding that he didn't hear me at all, but to my utter surprise he was staring into the distance, hands stuffed in his pockets, and his cheeks ever so slightly red. "You are blushing" I grinned, amazed by the fact that this was even possible.

"Shut up and get in the car."