Chapter 9: Cоnfеѕѕіоn- P1
My eyes dropped down to the hot chocolate I was mindlessly stirring. I watched as the dark liquid swirled around the inside of the mug, slowly becoming hypnotised by the vortex it made.
"Are you looking for lost treasure?" Joel asked. I sensed the joking tone but the panic inside overshadowed the humour.
"What?" My eyes snapped up to meet his concerned blue.
My whole body flinched, and I quickly licked my lips. I knew my twitchy behaviour hadn't gone unnoticed. I'd caught lots of prying eyes watching me warily. I was no doubt giving off the strange vibe. The fact I'd practically leapt out of my seat every time the door banged shut was a slight giveaway.
"Hey, are you okay?"
I quickly placed the spoon down and swallowed slowly, trying to regain some composure. I had to try to act more natural, well, as natural as I possibly could manage in this moment in time. "I'm fine," I managed to croak out, though it was pretty obvious I was far from it.
"Penny for your thoughts?" he asked smiling as he casually leaned over the bar, staring deep into my eyes. His close proximity only resulted in sending my anxiety levels through the roof.
My throat grew even tighter; I could barely choke out the words. "They're not worth that much," I whispered. My teeth took my anxiety out on my lip, and I immediately tasted blood. I sucked it in to try to concea it. I didn't wish to arouse his suspicions any further.
He frowned at my reply, and his eyes held a look of concern. "I'd love to know what you're thinking right now."
"Trust me, you don't." I feigned a smile to convince him to drop it. I knew I'd already failed when his eyes continued to watch me closely. I dropped mine down, purposely locking them on to the beer mat in front of me. I twirled it around in my fingers as a distraction and avoided staring into the eyes I knew would break me.
He hesitated, drumming his fingers against the bar. I knew he wanted to ask more questions, ones I just wasn't ready to answer.
A large crowd of students bustled in catching Joel's attention. The room filled with a general buzz helping to drown out the voices in my head. I was grateful for the reprieve; they'd be a big enough distraction in keeping him busy.
My stomach clenched once again at the thought of rejection. What if I'd just built this entirely up in my own head?
I was all set to confess my feelings to him today, but sitting here at the bar the execution part seemed far less appealing. I was quickly becoming lost in a cyclone of negative thoughts, the fear taking hold once
more.
My insecurities won out in the end, and I turned ready to leave. Then I felt a pair of eyes watching me from across the room.
I glanced over to a bunch of cute guys in suits. One smiled directly at me, while the others continued talking. I snapped my head around so fast my neck cracked, making me yelp.
Shit!
Major whiplash.
The pub began to fill up rendering my conversation with Joel a non-starter. I sighed, annoyed at my cowardly self.
Maybe ignorance was bliss?
Yeah right.
Stepping down from the stool, I reached over to grab my belongings only to find the cute guy heading in my direction. I contemplated grabbing my things and hightailing it out the door. But he was barely meters away. So I went with my only option, quickly sitting back down and pretending to sip my drink.
I smelt him before he reached the bar. My head filled with a rich intoxicating aroma of what I had no doubt was an overly expensive aftershave.
"Can I buy you something stronger?" he asked, his voice confident and husky. He'd obviously practiced his routine several times on the ladies.
I sat clutching the hot chocolate like my life depended on it. My eyes slowly turned towards him. "No, thanks. I'm happy with this for now." I gave him a weak smile before turning back.
Just take the hint and leave.
The uncomfortable silence grew by the second, and the air became so stifling I could barely breathe.
He shifted slightly, his hand rested on the bar bringing the attention back to him, forcing our eyes to connect once again.
This time I noticed his gorgeous green eyes; they twinkled as he spoke. He really was a handsome guy. His short blonde hair totally complimented his naturally chiselled, tanned face. His green eyes only accentuated his look further, but I just wasn't interested.
"So I'm Scott, I didn't catch your name?" He smiled, flashing a set of perfect white teeth.
Errr yeah, I never gave you. Duh!
I loathed being put on the spot. Situations like this left me cold. I didn't want to be here a moment longer, but I was sat frozen on the stool. My body felt disconnected from my head, it wouldn't move no matter how much I willed it.
"Izzy, well Isabelle really, but all my friends call me Izzy." Oh hell, why was I acting flustered and rambling on like an idiot? I wasn't even interested, but after that little display he probably thought I was.
I inwardly berated myself for not acting more composed. I couldn't be cool if I tried. I really needed Elijah to give me lessons. I was certain he'd be only too willing after all he had now became my personal shopper.
"Isabelle, what a lovely name, well Izzy, can I ask if you're single?"
Shit.
The guy was no holds barred, straight to the point. How the hell do I get out of this one? I needed an excuse, but my brain was no longer cooperating. It wasn't the best time for it to malfunction. "Wow, you're very direct." I laughed, in a slightly annoyed way. Irritated he had the balls to be that forward. My head was screaming for me to leave but my legs still weren't co-operating.
"Well I see a beautiful girl sitting alone at the bar, and I want to know if I haven't got my hopes up for nothing. I'd love to take you to dinner." His smile grew wider, and I blushed at his compliment. His body inched closer, and I frowned at his proximity. I hated the direction the conversation was heading, taking more of an uncomfortable turn by the second.
I needed to go right now.
I glanced over at Joel, who was still busy serving the students, chatting away. He was thoroughly engrossed in the conversation, no doubt football related. I wanted to scream to catch his attention, but no words left my lips.
I turned back to Scott who was waiting almost expectantly for an answer. "Yes, I'm single," I murmured begrudgingly, shuffling my feet in agitation. I was not that good of a liar to pull it off. My face was always a dead giveaway.
"Really?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I thought a gorgeous girl like you would be snapped up." His voice was laced with a level of excitement that sent a mixture of unease right through me. He smiled like I was a certainty to say yes. Yeah, he was definitely a smooth talking charmer, but his words just left me cold.
My eyes flicked away from Scott's instantly feeling Joel's stare burning right into me. The intensity sent shivers throughout my body.
Hallelujah.
It had taken him long enough.
I wanted him to charge over and rescue me like a white knight. Judging by the intense looks he was shooting my way, he'd only be happy to help. Just one signal from me and all my prayers would be answered. But I had to know how deep his feelings went.
A smile crossed my lips. This would be the perfect opportunity to gauge his response. Flirting with another guy could give me what I wanted, but I was going to have to be cruel in my quest to find the answer. "So where would we go for this meal?" I asked smiling, my fingers twirling the ends of my hair. I was now in full on flirt mode, hoping I was putting on quite a show with my little performance. "Well I would take you to this lovely Italian bistro, that's near here..."
I stopped my eyes mid roll, I had to remember to appear interested, but my curiosity got the better of me. I quickly glanced over to check Joel was still watching, and he was and this time our eyes connected. From his tight clenched jaw and the way his blue eyes pierced into mine, he definitely wasn't happy.
My plan was actually working.
Turning back to Scott, I nodded and smiled in all the right places. Feeling happy Joel's eyes were fixed on me. He remained glaring behind the bar, but I knew I would have to take it to the next level to achieve the reaction I wanted.
Preferably before I fell into a coma.
God, this guy was boring.
Scott, I was certain wouldn't take much convincing. He was more than enthusiastic for the both of us. I needed to see the full extent of Joel's jealousy to know if he harboured any feelings for me. "Ow," I said overdramatically, batting my lashes.
"What's up?" Scott asked, immediately frowning as he came even closer.
I pretend pouted for dramatic effect. "I have something in my eye." I fluttered my eyelashes, carrying on the charade. I knew Joel's eyes were still locked on me, and I was glad. I wanted his full attention. "Let me have a look? It's probably just an eyelash." Scott closed the small distance between us and gently cupped my face, lifting it up towards the light.☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐