Lustful Hearts

Once inside a hand grabbed me, and I squealed in shock before realising who it was. "Oh my god, I just witnessed the whole thing. Spill." Elijah's eyes were wide and filled with excitement, prompting me to talk.

"There's nothing to tell," I murmured blushing. I was not happy my secret was finally out; it was something I'd kept guarded for so long. Elijah was ready to begin his interrogation I could tell, but I was on way too much of a high to deal with his barrage of questions.

"Oh sweetie, his face said it all, he was checking you out. I know that look. You should have seen his face fall when you walked away."

"Really?" I asked in disbelief.

Was he really taken back by me?

He smiled at my look of doubt. "If you wanted a reaction from Joel then you got it, speaking of which." He paused and then smiled. "Hey Joel." He gave my arm a squeeze, before walking off grinning. I turned around to see Joel standing behind me.

Oh god. What do I say?

"Hey Iz," he said, still looking completely dumbfounded.

"Something wrong, Joel?" I asked innocently, enjoying his reaction.

He shook his head as if to snap himself out of his trance. "Err no, sorry errrm, I came in for a drink." He blushed, and I mentally did a high five in my head. He grabbed a beer from the counter and took a long draw from it, looking like he really needed it.

Weirdly it was like I was in some form of alternative universe. He was the flabbergasted one, frantically running his fingers through his hair. All those years of teasing and making me look like an idiot, the roles had finally been reversed.

I smiled, enjoying my moment.

I had waited long enough.

"Where's Mike?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence. Joel scanned the room and his eyes eventually came to rest on Mike, who was stood chatting to a group of blonde girls. Surprise, surprise.

"I'll let you get back to them. You're missing out on precious flirting time." I waved my hand dismissively and walked past him as the usual wave of rejection crashed over me. He grabbed my elbow and for a few seconds caressed it slowly with his thumb sending delicious tingles through my body.

"I'm fine here with you," he whispered. His soft, warm breath tickled against my ear, almost making me jump.

Every hair stood on end at his close proximity. I felt the heat radiating from him; the temperature was definitely rising. I turned slowly and looked deep into his eyes and smiled. God, he was gorgeous.

I felt the familiar pull. The air around us turned electric. My heart hammered deep in my chest, and my breathing became more erratic by the second. I needed to calm down and act normal. Well, as normal as could possibly manage around Joel.

"So did you enjoy the match today?" I asked casually, trying to disguise every emotion I was feeling being expressed on my face.

An amused smile crossed his lips. He knew how much I hated football, but I was at a loss for words. My mind always seemed to go blank around him, like my brain forgot how to function. If I wanted to keep him here, I had to employ underhanded tactics to distract him. He and Mike were always off watching their beloved Arsenal, and unfortunately for me it was the only thing that sprang to mind.

The frosty glares from across the room made me turn to find Joel's fan club had followed us inside. Anger radiated in their eyes, they were seriously pissed, which delighted me even more.

Ha, take that bitches!

"The match was great. Thanks. We won, we're now third in the league." He grinned, looking overly excited about his team's performance.

That meant nothing at all to me. I was out of my league, but I nodded my head in feigned interest, blundering on with the conversation.

"Who were you playing? Man United?" The only player I knew was Beckham, who had previously played for Man United. It wasn't because of his football skills though, just the fact he was hot. Elijah and I had enjoyed perving over his collection of underwear ads. He was simply perfection, but Joel didn't need to know that.

Joel laughed, looking slightly amused. "No, Tottenham."

One thing I did know a derby match was a big deal to the fans. The rivalry went through the roof with the supporters, like winning was life or death.

"Ahh, so you'll be happy then, winning a derby match." I smiled, feeling smug I knew that. I might just make it through this conversation unscathed after all.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise and grinned, nodding his head in delight. "Yeah, can't stand Tottenham. It was so good to see them lose heavily today." He carried on staring intently into my eyes, and I became lost. I knew I needed to say something fast, but his beautiful eyes were far too hypnotic for me to even care. He cleared his throat and I flinched, I'd practically zoned out right in front of him.

Huh?

Shit!

What the hell were we talking about again?

"What was the score?" I asked, feeling my face flush. I was hoping he'd failed to notice my drop in concentration. Who cared about football? I just wanted to continue gazing into those magnificent eyes. "7-2." His eyes remained locked on mine.

"Wow." I pretended to look shocked. "Must have been quite a match, no wonder you're out celebrating."

"Yeah." He took another sip of beer, and the air around us shifted, becoming slightly awkward. As the uncomfortable silence between us grew ever larger.

A loud groan left my lips when I noticed a certain someone catch my eye. To my dismay Ryan was walking towards us. His smile grew wider with each step he took.

Did this guy not ever take a hint?

"Hey, what's wrong?" Joel asked, looking concerned by my sudden change in mood.

I bit my lip in obvious frustration. "Oh just this guy I thought I'd gotten rid of," I murmured. How dare Ryan hijack our special moment together!

"Hey Ryan," I chirped with fake enthusiasm. The sweetness in my voice disguised the bitterness at his untimely intrusion.

"Izzy, I thought you'd left." He grinned.

I didn't share the same sentiment.

He stood close beside me so our bodies were practically touching. Which made me shiver but not in a good way. The next thing I felt was Joel's muscular arm wrapped around my shoulder. He bent down and kissed my hair.

I almost fainted with shock.

Oh. My. God.

"Sorry, Ryan, Izzy is with me." A large grin spread across his face watching Ryan's face drop.

Really?

I quickly recovered, pulling a pretend sorry face to Ryan.

But I wasn't sorry at all.

We walked off quietly laughing together. Joel's arm remained around me as we made our way back out into the garden. It felt so natural, like it always belonged there. I nestled my head in closer feeling his body next to mine.

We silently walked over to a quiet corner, sitting down on the swing seat. Our bodies melded together, slowly rocking back and forth. His fingers softly caressed my arm. Each tender touch sent shivers through my body. The gentle, rocking motion slowly hypnotised me. I curled up tight against him and lay breathing him in, just staring up at the stars.

We sat for a few moments in silence. The sky was now fully dark, and all the fairy lights twinkled like tiny diamonds in the distance. The lanterns were lit, and we basked in the warm, golden glow. It was magical, the perfect setting. Even if it was just for tonight, I knew this memory would exist in my head forever, where I'd relive it a thousand times more.

I let out a soft sigh of pleasure, concentrating on Joel's fingers. His lips softly kissed my hair, and I closed my eyes savouring his tender touch. It felt so good.

He tensed a little beside me, and I turned to look at him, questioning his reaction.

Had I done something wrong?

He smiled softly in return, swallowing slowly. He licked his lips like he was debating what to say next. Lifting his hand, he gently cupped my face and softly stroked my cheekbone with his thumb.

"I know I've said it already but you do look beautiful tonight. You took my breath away."

And now I officially couldn't breathe.

I closed my eyes unable to take his words in. It was like I was dreaming right now. Had I misheard him? But for a moment I wanted to pretend his words were real. Joel began to stroke my face again, slowly drawing me back to the present.

"You think I'm beautiful?" I whispered. My eyes still remain closed, unable to look into his until I heard the confirmation this was real.

"I've always thought you were beautiful, regardless of what you were wearing, but the way you look tonight... I thought I was dreaming when I caught you."

My eyes fluttered open in surprise, and I smiled. "Ahh yeah, my knight in shining armour once again, remember when you rescued me the first time?"

He smiled like he was replaying the moment too. It wasn't such a fond memory for me. I grimaced in horror remembering my younger self.

"God, I was such a geek back then. You must have thought I was pathetic." I closed my eyes, avoiding his soft gaze. My eyes sprang open when his hands gently cupped my face, his eyes silently begging me to look at him.

"Never, you were so sweet and innocent. I love that quality about you. Back then you barely spoke. You never had your nose out of a book. It was charming, you were a cute little bookworm." He grinned at the last part.

Hang on, bookworm?

I scowled at the expression. No girl ever wanted to be compared to a worm.

"Hmmm, bookworm? That's hardly a compliment!" I remarked, slightly irritated by his choice of name.

"Well, the bookworm changed into a beautiful butterfly." His lips pulled up at the corners at the look crossing my face.

"I think you're getting your insects mixed up, Joel." I chuckled but then noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes.

"You do realise you've been attracting a lot of attention sitting here. I think most of the guys at this party would have hit on you by now if it hadn't been for me."

I snorted at his observation. "Joel, I think you may have had too much to drink, that or you need your eyesight checked."

"Iz, you don't realise how beautiful you are, and I like that quality about you. Most of the girls I know play on their looks to get guys."

The sincerity was there in his eyes for me to believe his words, but all I could think about was all the girls he'd been with. "Yeah, well you would know 'cause you've been with enough to testify to that." His face dropped and a look of hurt flashed in his eyes.

Shit.

Why had I suddenly developed foot in mouth disease? I regretted the words the moment they left my lips. I wanted to rip my own tongue out right now.

He pulled in a deep breath and let out a huge sigh as if to compose himself before he spoke. "I know I've been around, Iz, and I'm not proud of myself, but there is so much more to me than that. I know you see it. Please tell me you don't think that is all I am. I couldn't bear to think you thought that badly of me." He frowned, and his eyes dropped down to the ground as if he was almost afraid of what my answer would be.

I grabbed both of his hands, and he flinched with the contact but then equally held on tight. "Joel, I want to believe there's so much more, but why do you do it? Why be with all these women? You need to find someone to love and settle down with. You're worth so much more than the women you screw. They don't care about you. They act like you're some trophy prize. Please do it for me, if not for yourself." My voice cracked at the sound of my own words. I had waited so long to say them, to tell him he deserved so much more.

I looked up into his strained face as a single tear slowly rolled down my cheek, to which he gently brushed it away with his thumb.

"Don't cry over me, Iz. I'm not worth it." His sad smile reflected the pain he kept buried deep inside.

I squeezed his hands tighter. "Yes, you are, Joel. I will always be there for you. Please remember that, if you ever need to talk, just ask." I silently willed him to believe my words. I wanted to be there for him more than anything.

"Iz, I need to tell you something." Fear flashed across his face. I smiled reassuringly, pleading with him to go ahead.

My eyes gazed deep into his, hoping to hear the words I'd dreamt every night.

I held my breath waiting.

His mouth slowly opened, and my eyes grew wider in anticipation.

"Joel."

Fuck.

At the sound of Mike's voice, we both sprang apart. "There you are. We're heading into town now, are you coming?"

A look of hesitation crossed his face as he glanced at me.

Please choose me.

I saw the anxiety there in his face, the internal struggle of deciding just who to disappoint.

I silently willed him and begged him with every breath to stay.

"Yeah, it's getting quiet, let's go where there's more action."

Mike grinned with obvious delight. "We should be in for a good night." He smirked, winking at Joel.

Repulsion spread through me, and I scowled at Mike's words. I dropped my gaze to avoid him spotting the obvious look of disappointment in my eyes.

"See you later, Iz," he whispered.

I let out a large sigh, looking up as I watched him walk off with Mike. The smug smiles of the bitches winning their trophy back now burnt into my brain. I glanced at my watch, it was just after midnight. I had officially turned back into Cinder-fucking-ella.