Lustful Hearts

My body jolted itself awake only to find myself in complete darkness. After a couple hours of restless sleep, I was back in my own living nightmare. I rubbed my eyes to try to focus and clicked on my phone to find it was almost seven. I was totally exhausted but flashbacks from the night before prevented me from drifting back off to sleep.

Elijah was flat out, gently snoring beside me. I was envious of his relaxed state. I wanted to be oblivious to it all rather than facing my own living nightmare.

I slipped out of the bed not wanting to disturb him. He looked so serene, almost angelic in sleep. Which was not a term I'd use to describe him awake. Grabbing my clothes I headed for the bathroom, quickly dressing. I gathered up my coat and bag, quietly making my way towards the front door.

The early frosty air felt brutal against my skin. I pulled in a deep breath, regulating myself to the cold, slowly making my way home.

Truthfully I wanted to stay, but the moment Elijah's eyes sprang open he'd ask a barrage of questions I was not yet ready to answer. I knew mentally I had to prepare myself for whatever I was about to walk back into.

I ran up the driveway, just happy to see the house was still standing. I quietly unlocked the door and stuck my head inside listening out for any signs of activity.

Nothing.

So far. So good.

Walking through the house I surveyed the damage, the whole place was littered with bottles and cans. An unpleasant stench of smoke hit me, but nothing disastrous had happened that couldn't be covered up with a tidy up and a blast of air freshener.

Tiredness began taking over. After a night of torment and Elijah hogging the best part of the bed, I was both mentally and physically exhausted. I left the mess of the sitting room behind and trudged upstairs preparing myself to face the inevitable.

I stopped breathing walking past Joel's room. My eyes remained fixated on the door. I listened for several moments, my ears straining for any form of noise. The blood was pumping so loudly that it cancelled out the silence.

Had he gone back home?

At that precise moment I noticed my door was ajar. I stared intently at it for several seconds.

I knew I had definitely closed it.

A wave of nausea ran through me, and my breath hitched hearing the faint light snores filtering through the door.

My heart stopped.

Oh. My. God.

Who the hell was in my bed?

The room was too dark to see anything visible. I peeped through the gap in the door, squinting to make out the person sleeping inside. My heart was racing, and I was majorly pissed. Then adrenalin took over, and I was no longer scared.

My hand slammed against the door and I flung it open, switching on the lights only to reveal my worst nightmare. "What the fuck?" I yelled as my heart shattered into a million pieces.

I gasped losing all the air from my lungs. My heart plummeted at the sight of Joel in my bed with the two sluts from the party.

I felt the bile rising, and my knees began to buckle. I was still gasping for air as my lungs tried but failed to function. I was only moments away from collapsing.

How could he do this to me?

Have sex with them both in my bed when he knew how I felt?

Did he want to destroy me?

I clutched at my chest. I was barely drawing breaths, staring at Joel's stunned face looking back. I wanted to cry, to get down on my knees and sob for everything I'd lost in that moment. But anger soon took over.

If he wanted a reaction then I'd damn well give him one. "What the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? Get your sluts out of my bed now!" I screamed; my voice barely recognisable.

I ripped the duvet off, then instantly regretted it, faced with the sight of their naked bodies. I scowled in disgust as they frantically tried to conceal themselves.

Fucking fantastic.

I wanted to rip them all to pieces with my bare hands. "Get out of my fucking room now!"

The two girls leapt up, quickly bundling up their clothes. Shooting past me, avoiding any form of eye contact. They'd probably just broke the world record to dress and get out of the house.

Joel just sat there looking stunned, covering himself with a pillow.

My. Fucking. Pillow.

My rage was off the Richter scale.

I walked right up to him and using every last breath in my body, I punched him square in the face. His head flew back, cracking against the wall behind him. He let out a low moan as a trickle of blood started from his nose.

I nursed my sore hand, cursing the pain, but it wasn't enough to appease my anger.

I wanted more.

I wanted to kill him.

Launching myself at him, I beat his chest and any part of his body I could aim for with my fists.

He grabbed my arms, holding them tight to restrain me. I screamed in frustration, hating the fact he was stronger. He looked visibly shocked staring into my wild eyes, filled with nothing but hate.

He opened his mouth to try to excuse his actions, but everything was pretty explanatory. I was not in the mood to hear his pathetic excuses.

"I fucking hate you, Joel," I spat out, looking him square in the eye.

His breathing was heavy as he just stared. His eyes widened with the impact of my words.

I hoped they cut him deep.

"You know how I feel about you, and yet you bring those bitches into my room, fucking them both in my bed. Did you do this to make a point? Are you trying to fucking rip me apart?" My screams slowly turned to sobs, unable to hold it back any longer.

"Thanks for destroying my life. Well, you got your wish, Joel, to leave you alone. Don't ever speak to me again. You're a piece of shit and nothing but a fucking whore." I paused before adding the words I knew would have the most impact. "You're just like your fucking dad."

His eyes widened even further at my cruel words. I knew I'd hurt him but I was glad, he was two thirds there anyway. All he had to do was slap someone around, and he was his dad's son alright.

I pulled myself out of his strong grip, falling down to my knees, beginning to sob uncontrollably. He attempted to put his hand on my shoulder to console me but I didn't want him anywhere near me. "Get your dirty hands off me. I can smell them on you," I screamed, pushing him away in complete disgust. I didn't want him anywhere near me ever again.

I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me, sliding down onto the cold, hard floor.

Was this all a dream?

Because I wanted to wake up. But I wasn't that lucky, this was my worst nightmare come true. The sobs came thick and fast. I curled up into a ball on the rug giving into the grief consuming every fibre of my body.

I heard muffled voices outside the bathroom. I knew Mike was awake. He'd want to know what was going on. A few seconds later I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Iz, can you let me in, I need to know if you're okay?" Mike asked calmly through the door.

At this point I lay barely breathing, not wanting to speak to either of them. I resented Mike for having the party, putting me in the situation to witness him in action.

I felt stupid.

Completely stupid.

He was a selfish prick who would never change. I guess a leopard never does truly change its spots. He'd been sleeping with women and throwing them away like rubbish for years. So why was I any different? Mike knocked even louder like I hadn't heard him the first time. "Iz, unlock the door and let me in. I'm sorry for what Joel did. I didn't know, I was too drunk. I don't even know how I got to bed." Probably led by another skank.

He was another man-whore; they were both as bad as each other.

"Iz, you're scaring me now, if you don't open the door I will break it down."

I knew that was an empty threat. Mike breaking the door would mean explaining it to my mother, and he'd avoid that at all costs.

My whole body was practically fused in the fetal position. My limbs were stiff and sore from being curled up tight for so long. I could barely move. I finally broke my eyes away from the crack in the tile I'd stared intently at for the last hour.

I was still breathing.

Just.

And resenting every breath.

Pain surged through me when I moved, the blood now beginning to flow freely through my body once again. I just wanted to sleep, but that was never happening again.

Rage consumed me at the thought of it. Why the hell was I the one hiding out in the bathroom? This was my house not Joel's, he should leave.

Leaping up I experienced one hell of a head rush.

Shit!

The room started to spin, and it took a few moments to compose myself. I eventually staggered over to the mirror, grimacing at the person staring back. My eyes were puffy and bloodshot and my lips swollen, where my teeth had taken the brunt of my anger out on.

I splashed cold water over my face and roughly dried it with the towel hoping to bring some colour back into my skin. I took a few deep breaths and slowly unlocked the door.

My hand gripped the handle tight pulling the door open. I was surprised to find Mike leaning up against the wall. He looked me straight in the eye, letting out a large sigh of relief. He pushed himself off the wall to give me a hug, but froze when he saw my icy glare.

"Don't you dare fucking touch me. This was all your fault, Mike, and I'll be sure to let Mum know every detail when she gets back."

He grimaced at the last part, he knew my mother would be after blood. He'd be on some kind of bargaining mission to make sure I kept quiet.☐☐