Lustful Hearts

The part of the day I'd been dreading the most arrived. I hugged my dad tight, not wanting to let go. I didn't think I had the strength to watch him leave again.

"You'll never know how much this visit has meant to me, Iz. I can't believe I have you and Mike back in my life. It's the greatest gift a dad can have the love of his children. Now don't forget I'm only a phone call away. I want you to Skype me too, so I get to see this beautiful face and check that you're okay. Though I know you're in safe hands with Joel."

I cried deeper into his shoulder, I could feel him loosening his grip, but I didn't want to let go. He pulled away and cupped my face.

"My beautiful baby girl, I'm so proud of you." He pressed his lips against my forehead for a few moments, and I closed my eyes, remembering his touch. When he moved away I felt bereft, but my heart felt lighter when I watched him go on to embrace Joel.

I saw a flash of bewilderment cross Joel's face when my dad showered him with the love I had taken for granted when I was younger.

He moved away and whispered something into his ear, Joel nodded softly and his eyes flashed up to meet mine confirming it was concerning me.

Joel broke away and came straight over to me. He knew I'd need him now more than ever in this moment.

My dad placed one more kiss on my forehead before walking out the door. I caught sight of a tear that rolled down his cheek and understood the urgency of his departure.

I fell back into Joel, and he supported my weight as I sobbed hard against him, missing my dad's presence already.

He turned me around and lifted me, carrying me upstairs, and placed me on the bed. He joined me moments later and I curled around him, my fists clinging onto him as I cried for the sense of loss I felt right

now.

Until my body became weary, and I slowly fell into a dreamless sleep.

I woke up a short while later automatically turning to face Joel's side only to find I was left all alone. I rubbed my hands down my face and sighed thinking about my dad.

He hadn't even left the country, and I missed him already. I grabbed a towel from the cupboard and my favourite pyjamas and headed for a shower.

Although I wanted to sit and dwell on it, life moved on, and I had to carry on as normal.

Fifteen minutes later I found Joel lounging on the sofa, his face brightened when he saw me. "Come sit down, beautiful."

I grimaced at the pet name. I looked nothing like it in this moment in time. I had caught my puffy eyed reflection in the bathroom mirror, several seconds was bad enough, after that I had avoided it for the rest of the duration.

I snuggled in beside him and he kissed my hair, running his hand soothingly up and down my back, his touch instantly made me relax.

"Your mum called while you were asleep, I told her that you'd took Geoff's departure hard so she said she would ring back tomorrow."

"Thanks." I was not in the mood for my mother's overbearing nature right now. I just needed to come to terms with it for the next few hours in my own time.

I felt Joel shuffle slightly before lifting up a parcel that was nestled behind him.

"This is for you. Your dad asked me to give you it once he left." He noticed my moment of hesitation when he placed the present in my hands.

I frowned wondering why he hadn't been able to give it to me himself. I quickly ripped off the wrapping paper and gasped when I realised it was one of those electronic picture frames. "Geoff has set it all up, you just have to switch it on."

My hands began shaking, so Joel covered mine as we clicked on the switch. A sob left me when the first picture flashed up with my dad holding me in his arms. I was barely hours old, and he looked as proud as punch.

The love he held for me in his eyes truly took my breath away. The next one was several months later of me sucking on my fist as I gurgled smiling into the camera.

The pictures flashed up one after the other, each one a little older as we went along.

Joel chuckled at me holding up my prized possessions at a book fair, I must have been about eight.

"Some things don't change, baby," he whispered, nuzzling against my ear.

I giggled at his words, how true they were, smiling at the miniature bookworm standing in front of me.

I gasped when I began to see more recent ones. I remembered posing for some, but there were some I had no recollection of when they were taken.

Though from the smiles on our faces I was grateful that they captured even more happy moments of our time together.

When we came full circle, I clicked the frame off and wiped my eyes with my cuff, turning towards Joel. He brushed away the last of my tears and pulled me in for a kiss. "That was so amazing what he did, you have all those memories there when you need a little reminder, when you're feeling low."

"Were you behind it?" I asked. I bet he had played some part in it.

"I suggested it, I was thinking of getting one for us, for our memories."

I scrunched my nose up at his suggestion, don't want a separate frame. I want to add them to this one. I want all my good memories in

one place, all the people I love together. Can we upload all of ours

onto it tomorrow?"

"Of course."

I smiled and nuzzled my face tighter into his chest, he kissed my hair and I moved away so I could kiss those amazing lips of his.

"Are you feeling a little brighter now, baby? You know he wouldn't want you sad."

I sighed at his words, he was right. "Yeah, I am now, you make it so much better. Can I ask what he said to you?"

Joel blushed, and I could tell he was having a little trouble relaying the conversation.

"It's okay, Joel. I shouldn't be so intrusive." I cursed myself for being so nosey.

"No, it's fine. He said he was proud of me, of what I had done, and that he couldn't be any happier to leave you here with me. He said when the day finally arrives he can't wait for me to become an official member of the family."

He swallowed slowly, and I could tell my dad's words had really affected him after growing up with so little male influence to look up to. "That's one thing I love about my dad, he is very intuitive. He can read people so well."

"It meant the world to hear him say that, Iz, that trusts me. To give me his blessing, it's something I'll remember for the rest of my days."

I pressed little butterfly kisses over his face, and he sighed at my touch. I knew my dad's words would have been overwhelming to him.

He still had difficulty expressing himself at times, but we were slowly getting there.

"He knows how much I love you. It's the biggest honour a parent can give to hand over the responsibility. fam yours, Joel, for the rest of my life. I can think of no other person that will

give me my HEA."

"HEA?" he asked looking bewildered, and I smiled. I often forgot that he didn't speak bookworm.

"Happily ever after,” I murmured against his lips. He took the kiss deeper before finally moving away, much to my own disgust.

"Ahhh, well I love knowing I can put a smile on your face, but I bet I can make you smile even harder with two words." His eyes watched me in amusement. He was thoroughly enjoying teasing me. "What two words?" I asked looking bewildered, even more so when a humongous smile broke out over his face.

"Chocolate Mousse."

My eyes widened, and my body instantly shivered imagining the delights he had in store. A smile touched my lips, and I sighed when he pulled me into another deep kiss. Chocolate and Joel, my two most favourite things. I think I'd just died and gone to heaven.☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐