Chapter 6 Don't Shoot The Messenger
Improvise, I thought to myself. I’ll show them improvise.
Megan said, “And I don’t care how you do it, just don’t mention anything about the carpet stain or you’re a dead man.”
I groaned. “You’re the worst, but fine. I’ll help you out. You owe me one after this.”
I stomped out of the room, pushing her friend out of the way and slamming the door behind me. Luckily, “Mom” wasn’t close by and didn’t come running right away, so I still had time to do this undetected. I dashed for the kitchen as quickly as I could, where Megan had said the nail polish would be. I found it underneath the sink, but just as I grabbed the bottle, Ben’s mom’s stern voice boomed from behind me. “What are you doing under there?”
“What?” I asked, then winced as I hit my head on the cabinet under the sink. “Ow!”
As I pulled my head out of the cabinet, she asked, “Why are you holding nail polish remover? You’re not looking for supplies for Round Two, are you?”
“What? Why would I prank her? I have better things to do.” I tried to sound casual.
“Oh, I don’t know,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe because she pranked you last time?”
“No, I was just looking for paper towels… that Megan needs.” I lied.
“Sure you were,” she said, not believing me for a second. “And I’m sure you didn’t slam Megan’s door just for fun or make her scream either.”
Dang, I knew I shouldn’t have slammed her door. Of course she thinks I did more than that! A little brother and annoying older sister hosting a sleepover means the perfect opportunity for a prank. I can see why she would think that way, and I stupidly just incriminated myself for something I didn’t do. Great. Just... great.
To get myself out of this new pickle, I had to choose my words carefully and admit,
“Okay, the slamming door part was all me… but the rest you got all wrong and I have a perfectly good explanation for everything.”
Mom folded her arms and gestured for me to continue.
“I know it sounds like something I would do,” I said, “but this time it wasn’t me that made her scream. I swear, I was in the living room watching the hockey game when it all happened.”
“Okay,” she said, still not convinced. “But if you were really there, then you must know why she was the one that screamed ‘bloody murder’.”
“I know, I know,” I stammered. “It’s a bit embarrassing why Megan even screamed in the first place.”
Mom raised an eyebrow. “If you were in the living room, how do you know it was even Megan?”
“Oh please,” I answered. “I’ve heard that scream a thousand times before, but this time I wasn’t expecting it, and it made my popcorn fly everywhere.” I paused and looked at the living room, which was still covered in popcorn. “See, the mess is still there, so you know I was here the whole time.”
Mom looked at me for a moment, then at the living room and sighed, shaking her head. “Fine. I believe you this time. But don’t make me regret it.”
I let out a sigh of relief. Crisis averted. Before she could say anything else, I added, “Anyway, I went to investigate, and she told me all about how she screamed at Becky because Becky used the wrong color of nail polish on her little fingernails. Then she gave me strict instructions to bring her the nail polish remover because she’s too lazy to get it herself.”
Ben’s mom chuckled at my little diss at Megan. “I’d be careful if I were you saying that around the house,” she said. “She just may hear you. I’ll go have a talk with her later to confirm.”
Whew, that was too close! I thought to myself as I walked away from my mom in the hallway. But then she called out to me, “As soon as your job is over, you are going to be cleaning up your mess right away before you can watch the game.” She pointed to the popcorn all over the table and the carpeted floor. “I’m not raising a wild animal here.”
“I was gonna clean it up,” I said.
“Yeah... after the game you were,” she replied.
I gave a loud fake gasp, offended that she would say that. Before she left, she threatened, “Drop the act. You can’t fool me that easily, Benjamin. I know you all too well.”
Are you sure about that? I thought to myself, looking at Ben’s reflection in the closet mirror that was slightly opened in the hallway. She then ended her motherly tangent with
“You have five minutes once you drop off the nail polish remover to her and I better not see a trace of popcorn anywhere when I come back from writing an email to a couple of my clients.” She then left me alone, headed back into the kitchen area or somewhere in the house that I have not explored yet.
Almost forgot mothers have the power to put the fear of God in you. Since I am technically still a child, she is in her right to smack me. Guess I have no choice now but to go to Megan’s room. Opening the door to her room, I was greeted and enjoyed the sight of her being on her hands and knees with a couple of cotton balls dabbing the red nail polish on the carpet while a few of her friends watched or helped. I soaked up this moment for a little while enjoying a mess that’s not my fault for a change and kindly tapped Megan on her shoulder where I said, “I think this might help.” and gave her the nail polish remover.
Megan and her friends were so grateful, they called me a lifesaver! Before I left, I gave Megan a heads up about the talk she’d have with her mom about the nail polish remover. I assured her I didn’t say anything about the carpet, just the wrong color nail polish. She squealed with joy, thanked me profusely, and even gave me a hug. Finally, I was free to go.
I headed back to the living room, where the Carolina vs. Montreal game was still on. I couldn’t relax on the couch for long, though, because I could still hear Ben’s mom’s threat ringing in my ears. After I cleaned up, I settled in to watch the rest of the game. The Hurricanes pulled through, as usual. That was a great way to end a Friday night! I made a mental note to do it more often when I got home.
Saturday morning, I woke up feeling strangely relieved. On Saturdays, I usually work in the morning. But if I’m not scheduled, I get to see my girlfriend Emily after breakfast. I didn’t have any plans for later in the day, so I did what any kid in the 21st century would do: I watched TV. But before I could relax, I remembered that Ben’s mom had promised to take me somewhere today if I behaved. I didn’t know where we were going, but anywhere was better than here!
I hope I’m going somewhere fun, not some store. I thought. I decided to wear jeans instead of those baggy cargo shorts I wore yesterday. I looked outside my bedroom window and could tell it was time to layer up, since it gets cold in the fall in whatever state I’m in. So I wore jeans with a plain teal shirt and hung Ben’s silver jacket on his desk chair, knowing I’d need it later. But for now, it was time to relax. Let me tell you, eating a box of sugared cereal for breakfast and then watching nothing but cartoons or reality shows for the next hour or so is… thee… life.
Who knew watching TV all day could be so... nostalgic? I loved it! As I was watching Saturday morning cartoons, the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” Ben’s mom called from the kitchen. I lowered the volume on the TV and eavesdropped. “Hi, Mrs. H, is Ben here?” a little girl’s voice asked. I peeked out the window and saw a girl with brown hair in a ponytail and a red scrunchie. She’s wearing a dark magenta North Face jacket, a striped shirt, jeans, and sneakers. She looked about Ben’s age and was standing on our front porch with her bike. She sounded so innocent and excited, I knew she’d be let in. I turned back to the TV so she didn’t see me, but I still listened. “He’s usually waiting for me in the driveway, but he’s not there today,” she said. “We’re supposed to go biking in the forest behind the neighborhood. We won’t be long.” Biking in the forest sounds like fun! I’m starting to feel like a kid again. So, Ben’s mom must’ve been glad to get rid of me because she said, “Ben’s in the living room watching TV, Al. Come in, come in.” I had to pretend I was still watching TV and not totally eavesdropping on them, so I laughed at a part of the show that wasn’t even funny. Good thing I did, because as I was laughing, his mom walked in, blocked the TV, and said,
“Ben, you have a visitor.”
She stepped aside and revealed the girl I had seen from the window, twiddling her thumbs. So this is the infamous Ally I’ve heard so much about lately. I thought. She doesn’t look intimidating at all, like Josh said. In fact, she’s quite the opposite. I say that because Ally, or Al for short, took my silence as an opportunity to jump on the empty spot on the couch next to me, poke me in the arm, and ask with a giggle, “Hey Ben, whatcha doin’?” I glanced over at her and nonchalantly replied,
“Oh, hey, Al. Not much... just watching TV.” I gestured to the TV as Ben’s mom started to leave the living room. I could have sworn I heard her say “Ahhh” before looking at the TV for a good second or two, then back at me. “Seems boring,” she said. “You know what is not boring though?” She paused and waited patiently for a response. When I didn’t give it to her, she made a face and almost shouted in my ear, “Biking!” with such piercing enthusiasm that could kill my very sensitive eardrums.
She paused again, probably to give my ears a break, then got all serious and asked her real question: “Why aren’t you outside?”
I shrugged. “Eh, I don’t know. It’s just one of those days, I guess.”
“One of those days?” She started to mock me. “What’s next, you can’t go outside because it’s too cold?” She laughed to herself. “Brittney was so right, you boys are all the same.”
Hearing the mention of Brittney rubbed me the wrong way. It was probably her fault I was even in this mess. So I said, “Let me grab my jacket first and I’ll meet you outside.”
With that, I jumped off the couch and darted off, but she was right on my tail. “I ain’t going back outside in the cold, I waited long enough. I’m coming with you.”
No way, she can’t see my room. I barely made it. She would surely laugh at how messy it is. I was nervous about what Al would think of my room. “You sure?” I asked. “It’s really—”
“Messy? Please. Have you ever seen Josh’s room?” She snickered.
I paused to think about that. Josh’s room was pretty smelly, but I thought it was just from the sweat from our gaming session. Now that she mentioned it, his bed was only half-made, and there were clothes strewn all over the floor.
“Good point,” I said.
Al followed me like a lost puppy, always right behind me. As we walked down the hall, I saw Megan coming out of the bathroom with her new curls and braids. She stopped in shock when she saw Ally. I could’ve sworn I heard her mutter Al’s full name under her breath even. Then, for the first time, I saw Megan run to Al and give her a big hug.
“How’s my little sis doing?” she asked.
“Little sis?” I mumbled to myself. Luckily, neither of them heard me as they were too busy talking to each other. Watching them chatter away like magpies was a good reminder why I was glad I didn’t have to deal with these kinds of conversations firsthand anymore. I guess I now know how Tom Ross, my 1980s girl reflection Elizabeth Ross’s little brother, must have felt. Those two never seemed to stop talking, and Ally just sat there smiling ear to ear, her eyes sparkling like uncut diamonds, looking at Megan with delight. It’s like she’s starstruck, like she’s meeting a celebrity for the very first time. Anyway, Megan just had to ask, “So where do you plan on taking my little twerp of a brother this time?” as she playfully pushed me.
“Not far, just out for one last bike ride in the forest before it gets too cold and snowy.”
I wanted out of that conversation, so I bolted to Ben’s room and slammed the door shut. I was like a vulture, frantically searching for my silver jacket like it was prey. I had forgotten where I put it, and I needed to get out of this kid’s body ASAP. But that jacket was nowhere to be found. I finally found it on my chair and walked out the door like nothing happened. To my surprise, those two girls were still chatting in the hallway. “Got it! Let’s go, Al,” I announced.
“Geez, that was fast, Ben. Could you at least wait a minute?”
I looked at her and deadpanned, “Oh, now you want to wait? What changed your mind?”
“Your amazing and sweet older sister Megan that I haven’t spoken to in like... forever!” Al exclaimed.
“You mean last week?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I remembered what Ben’s mom had said about the Social Studies test. Al didn’t answer my question, but Meg thought the silence was the perfect opportunity to chime in. “Aww, you’re too kind, Al,” she said, blushing. Then, looking at me with daggers in her eyes, she added, “Someone should take pointers.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I said, sticking my tongue out at Megan playfully. Then I looked at Al and asked, “Are we going or what?” Al tried to hold back her laughter but failed miserably. “I heard you the first time, dude,” she said. She then looked at Megan, who had her arms crossed and looked unamused. “Are you seriously going to let him get away with that?” Al asked. Megan nodded. But before we left, she kindly “reminded” me to wear my helmet before my mom found out. We walked down the concrete steps outside my house, opened the garage door, and got on our bikes.
Childhood fun, here we come!