SWNOVELS Chapter 20. Decision
William’s POV
“Guardian?” I ask with wide eyes and feel stupid because I previously felt jealousy.
Salazar nods slowly without breaking eye contact, and I realize that there must be more belonging to the story than I or anyone else know. Brandon is Kaylin’s guardian, and she now has no one. She’ll break apart and explode when she finds out.
“That’s why you have to be there for her when she realizes it herself. At present, she doesn’t understand, and it’s no wonder considering that she just made it to the finish line. Kaylin needs to process what she’s been through, and she can’t do that now since it’s not over yet. She has the last battle left, and I can’t answer if any council members have plans to challenge her. What I can say is that in that case, it doesn’t surprise me in the least. Everyone doesn’t like Kaylin. Felicity won’t accept a half-vampire as her superior, royalty or not; she doesn’t consider your beloved worthy of her respect since she doesn’t have it in her blood to the fullest,” Salazar explains, and I growl when I hear the words.
“Kaylin is royalty and deserves all the respect in the world for what an amazing person she is!” Vivienne exclaims and slams her fist on the table.
Inside my head, I applaud her act, she does what the rest of us at the moment don’t dare, and for this, she deserves respect. I expect Salazar to roar and point out what an act of disrespect Vivienne shows to him. But instead, he laughs.
“I’m glad Kaylin has people around her who care about her and are loyal,” he says, smiling gently before reverting to his severe facial expression again. “With that said, she’s going to need the Everton clan more than ever when it’s all over. I’m surprised she’s still standing on her legs, and honestly, I don’t know how she’ll be after tomorrow. But-.”
A knock on the door interrupts Salazar, and he answers with a “yes.” The door opens, and Kaylin comes inside, jumping on two crutches. She smiles at me, and I’m quick to try to help her, which she won’t allow. Instead, she skips into the room and stands next to Salazar, who immediately rises from his chair to offer it to Kaylin. My family and I look confused at the exchange with open mouths, incapable of understanding what’s going on. She sits down in the chair, and Salazar smiles widely at her.
“I understand that you must feel some confusion. You see, Kaylin and I created a bond when we trained together over the past few weeks,” Salazar explains.
“Did you train her personally!?” Oliver exclaims, confused, causing Kaylin to laugh.
“Of course, I don’t trust anyone else to get her in shape,” he replies, smiling at Kaylin. “I wouldn’t have let her represent me if I didn’t know she was going to make it, even though I worried several times. What the hell did you think when you threw yourself up on the back of the dragon!?”
He looks at her with the same facial expression that a father has while scolding his daughter. I’m also inquisitive about hearing her answer. Kaylin laughs audibly at Salazar’s facial expression before deciding to reply.
“What would I do then? Become skewers?” she asks and tries not to laugh.
I don’t recognize this form of dark humor she has, but both my mother and Elijah laugh at her words. On the other hand, I don’t know my beloved the way I wish. There’s not much I know about her beyond what she’s told and shown. It takes a whole lifetime to get to distinguish a person deeply, and I’ve only had Kaylin in my life for a few weeks.
“Your sense of humor is still there anyway. That’s lucky. I don’t want to have to search for my daughter-in-law,” my mother says, walking up to Kaylin to embrace her in a hug. “You’ve worried me a lot, honey.”
“Sorry, mama,” my beloved replies, and I see my mom shining up like a kid on Christmas Eve over the nickname.
“Finally, you’ve understood, ma fille,” mom replies, kissing Kaylin’s cheek.
“It means “my daughter,” in french,” I explain to her when she looks confusedly at me.
“Okay, I need to know how any of you can pretend like nothing when it’s obvious that nothing is as it should!” Benjamin exclaims, and I give him an annoyed look when I see my beloved gaze down with a sad face.
“Because if I pretend everything’s fine, then I can’t break apart before it’s over,” Kaylin whispers, looking at him. “I can’t stop now. My humanity is at a breaking point as it is. Nothing else can get in the way now because I honestly don’t know if I can do it.”
“If you don’t mind me asking,” Elijah says, waiting for the green light from Salazar before continuing. “We were present when Joseph demanded that Kaylin shut down her humanity, but what I can see, it’s still on. How come?”
It’s a good question, and my gaze lands on my other half to see how she feels about the issue; she reveals nothing. Salazar is the one who answers.
“Since Kaylin is royalty, she can withstand a direct order from her creator, but only to a certain limit. All the dark thoughts and feelings she carries are gone at the moment, with a greater part of humanity, but not all. One-fifth is left, I’d guess. If she puts everything back on now, she’ll crash and burn,” he explains, and I see Kaylin writhing awkwardly in the chair as if she has a secret none other than she knows.
Salazar’s phone indicates that he receives a message, and when he reads the content, he doesn’t look happy. He growls soundly and smashes a side table into the wall before turning toward Kaylin with directed anger.
“Why did you do it!?” he growls, and the rest of us don’t understand anything about what’s going on.
“I have to. There’s no stopping now,” Kaylin replies calmly.
“You just got out and have to rest! If you continue, they’ll eat you alive, Kaylin! Please don’t do this.”
“What’s going on?” I ask and look at my beloved with a searching gaze.
“Yes, Kaylin, tell them what’s going on,” Salazar says, also looking at her with a stern face.
Everyone’s gazes are on her and her nervous writhing in the chair. I have a bad feeling about what it is she’s going to tell me. Honey, what have you done now?
“I asked to fight the last battle today instead,” she replies, closing her eyes.
You can hear a pin drop to the floor in here. We all try to understand what Kaylin tells us and why she chooses to do such a stupid thing.
“Are you kidding me, Kay!?” Oliver exclaims in horror. “You can barely stand! How are you supposed to be able to fight the last battle if you don’t even manage to move properly?”
“I have to finish it now. Otherwise, it’ll never happen. Besides, I’m already beginning to heal and am almost back to normal,” Kaylin replies, and just when she finishes talking, two guards come into the room to lead her out.
None of us can do anything. Kaylin looks at us one last time before the doors close, and silence overtakes us. I turn toward Salazar, who has a sad expression on his face.
“Can’t you do anything? She’s going to die!” I exclaim desperately.
“I’m sorry, but the others have voted and agreed to allow her to implement it tonight,” he replies. “Nothing I say now can stop it, even if I want to.”
And just like that, my heart shatters all over again. Because this time, Kaylin’s humanity may disappear for good.
Kaylin’s POV
You’re mad at me and think I’m stupid; I understand. It’s a foolish decision I choose to make, and you don’t have to agree with me. You also don’t have to understand or accept why I feel a strong need to execute it; I won’t try to change your opinion. But what I will do is ask you to try to understand that if I don’t complete the last battle now, I won’t survive. As I said before, my humanity is on a fragile thread now, and if I get a night’s vacation, I’ll think about what I’ve been through, which will end in disaster. My feelings will shut down entirely, and I won’t be able to find my way back to who I was.
A whole night that I won’t use to rest, but to process and think about everything I lost. I may be a survivor, but I don’t feel alive. My body has enough time to heal until the evening, and I don’t worry about my physical health but fear for my mental. I don’t know what awaits me, and fear is what drives me forward in the hope that everything will be over. Violence, harsh words, and challenges I can’t imagine awaits me; so far, I understand that too. It isn’t the battle itself that scares me. No, it’s the possible challenges that council members can force me to undergo.
When I integrate with them, I can tell from the members that they’re far from saints, least of all Joseph and Felicity. Igor, Salazar, and Mark have nothing against me. According to Salazar, both Mark and Igor have been cheering me on the whole time the participants fought in the arena, while Felicity and Joseph cursed my existence. None of them even tries to hide that they don’t like me, least of all my creator, who only wishes to have me as a toy he can bring out when he feels like it. I don’t know what these eventual games will involve, and I have no plans on trying to find out either.
He and Felicity are pure evil, both of them, no doubt about it. Because of their hate toward me, I also know that the chances are excellent, that it’s definitely they who challenge me, and their potentially cruel challenges worry me. No matter what I face, I have plans to get through them in one way or another; it doesn’t matter how. William has been injured enough just by sitting and watching while various creatures in the arena wounded me; he doesn’t need more. Inside the stadium, I fought for my clan and beloved; I fought for their respect.
But now I’m fighting for my family, for all those I’ve lost that means a lot; mom, dad, Britney, and Brandon. Although my dear companion Brandon had no blood ties to me, he came to mean a lot to me through his loyalty and compassion; I’m going to miss him. No, Kaylin, no more thinking. Prepare for battle! The guards lead me to a room similar to a spa, but without the massage options, face masks, and cucumbers they put on your eyelids. I’m surprised when I see Dave sitting in one of the sofas with a big smile on his lips.
Laughing, I hurry up to him and hug him tight. If you’ve forgotten about Dave, I can remind you by saying that he’s the one who keeps helping me get better with my bloodlust. During all the hundreds of hours we’ve worked together to ensure I learn to handle it, we’ve also talked and bonded; we’re good friends. Without him by my side, I would never have had the strength to do all the tough workouts with Salazar and the anxiety in my chest. He’s the one who helped me process much of the fears that I felt when I first came to the council. At first, everything was scary for me, even the service staff.
Every time a floor plank creaked, I shivered, and every time someone looked at me, I just wanted to escape into my room to hide under the bed where no one could find me. But with Dave’s talk that it’s okay to be afraid, over time, I’ve started to accept it and even believe that it’s true. Of course, that’s not the only thing we’ve talked about either; he’s told me a lot about himself as well. Dave has an older sister, mated to a werewolf, and lives in Michigan. He loves tzatziki, dislikes carrots, and is a talented dancer.
Although I desperately tried to avoid talking about William and his clan, it turned out that these were the conversations I appreciated the most; because he understood me. I don’t know how he can be such an understanding and kind individual, but he is, and I value that very much. Dave is a kind person, and I really hope that his application will get a thumbs up for transforming into a vampire. That’s why he’s in the council as a voluntary blood donor for those in need, although he has only been mine in recent weeks.
Salazar explained that a person born with supernatural knowledge needs to undergo numerous tests and applications before getting accepted. According to Salazar, I don’t know what they’re testing with Dave, but he’s close to getting approved very soon. For whatever reason, I wish for his sake that it goes through; he deserves it after listening to my endless chattering and bitching. Not even Dave himself knows what it is they examine and investigate with different samples. He has undergone several medical tests, such as physics tests, breathing tests, and has gotten approval in several written examinations based on what he has told me.
It sounds like Dave is applying to study at college and not to become a vampire. What’s he doing? Having an appointment at the employment center, or what is it about?
“You survived,” Dave proudly declares. “I knew you could do it!”
His enthusiasm makes me laugh and even feel some embarrassment, which is evident when my cheeks turn tomato red. We let go of each other, and I sit next to him. He angles his head to the right and gives me access to his neck. Slowly I let my fangs penetrate his tanned skin and suck his elixir of life into my mouth. I know where the boundary is and stop after a brief moment. After all the training we’ve undergone, I don’t need to drink as much but manage to keep going on a significantly smaller portion than I did initially.
I pick up the white linen napkin from the living room table and hold it against the holes my teeth leave behind. The process repeats, though; this time, I bite myself and give Dave a small portion of my blood to heal him. I keep holding the red-speckled napkin against his neck for a few seconds extra before checking to make sure it heals properly. When I see that the skin grows back again, I begin to wipe off all traces of biting him while he studies me carefully. He takes the napkin away from me and wipes the blood off my wrist before doing the same with the corners of my mouth.
I chuckle a little because I feel like a loathsome child at the dinner table who has yet to learn wit and etiquette. In the beginning, it was even worse; it looked like roadkill when I finished.
“You’re getting better and better at that; this time, I felt nothing at all,” Dave says, smiling at me yet again.
I don’t know what it is with his smile, but he can calm a raging bull with his soft facial expressions. Only now do I notice that we’re not alone in the room; the guards are standing by the doors blocking them. I don’t know if they’re trying to reduce the chances of someone getting in or me from getting out. In any case, it doesn’t matter; I’m not going anywhere. I have things left to complete before I intend to go home. Dave also notices the guards and looks at me with a mix of worry and inquisition. He’ll like my plan about as much as Salazar, and the Everton family do; in other words, not at all.
“Why do you need to have security with you when you’re eating?” Dave asks and raises one of his eyebrows.
“I have asked to fight the last battle today instead of waiting until tomorrow,” I answer and close my eyes tightly, preparing for a lengthy discussion.
To my great surprise, Dave says nothing; I hear his breath and heartbeat. He hasn’t left me yet. I open one eye slightly and meet Dave’s sad face, but eyes full of understanding; he realizes that I have to do this now. Otherwise, I won’t be able to. Dave nor I say anything, afraid that if we begin talking, chaos will arise, and neither of us is ready for that. He knows what I need before I do and takes me in his arms like so many times before, but this time it feels different, and that’s because it is. We both know as well that this may be the last time we see each other, and we’re not willing to say “goodbye” yet.
“Get through it and remember everything I’ve told you,” he says as we let each other go yet again. “No matter how painful it may be, keep moving because the pain will ease as you accept it.”
The guards walk up to us and escort me to the door. I turn around one last time, and Dave smiles at me as always, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes; he’s scared, and so am I. We walk out the door, and when the door slams closed behind us, a tear falls from my eye. A drop full of sadness, because I don’t know if this is the last time we see each other, and I’m not ready to say goodbye to another friend. One is more than enough.
A/N:
Hello everyone!
Kaylin has just come out of the arena but is planning on plunging into the fire just as quickly again... Smart or stupid? Only time can decide.
❀ What do you think of Dave’s and Kaylin’s friendship?
✿ Is Kaylin’s state of mind strange or understandable?
❀ Why do you think she pretends that nothing is wrong?
✿ Can she get out of all this unharmed, or will her trauma be stacked in a pile?
Please let me know your thoughts since they help me develop in my creative process! Thank you for reading. Lots of love.<3