SWNOVELS Lovely Beast: Chapter 32
Ahaze of smoke hangs over the room as Nicolas puffs on a cigar and drinks a whiskey and laughs with Carmine. Brice grins at the boys while Sara sits with Cassidy and Robyn and a few of the Scavo guys that flew down for this little celebration. We’re in a back room of the Oak Club, and this is only possible because Carmine pulled some strings and paid some bribes, but it’s a damn nice spot: free top-shelf alcohol and zero oversight all in a high-class atmosphere.
I hate it. This place, anyway. The Oak Club represents everything I despise. The money, the power, the control. The people in this place look at me like I’m scum, the same way they look at Carmine, and Nicolas, and all the other guys like us.
“Why do you look like we’re at a funeral instead of a party?” Sara asks, leaning up against me. She’s in this incredible black dress, the sort of dress that hugs her curves and makes her look like she belongs on the cover of a magazine. Her dark hair’s up in a tight bun and her lips are red, and she’s looking at me like I’m the only man in the room, and those eyes are heaven.
“Just thinking about this place is all. How nothing good ever happens here.”
“Except for this party.” She takes my arm and leans her head on my shoulder. “We got him home. We should celebrate.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Except I don’t feel like celebrating but I can’t say that.
When this is over, I’m supposed to go back to Philly with Nicolas. We got a flight and we’ve got plans. I have a crew waiting for me, more men that need my leadership, and I’ve been away for long enough already. The bastards are probably forgetting about me, and I’m going to have to reassert myself the second I step foot on my own turf.
And I’m fucking dreading it.
Not because I can’t do it—that won’t be a problem—but because I’ll be there when I want to be here.
Only it’s my responsibility. I’m a Capo in the Scavo Famiglia. I’m a made man with a crew and with people counting on me to earn for them. If I stay, I’ll let them all down, but worst of all, I’ll let Carmine down.
“Come on, have a drink. Make it a double, have one for me and one for you.”
I kiss Sara’s cheek. “You’re just trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me.”
“Do I need to get you drunk for that?”
“Absolutely not. All you’ve got to do is wear that dress and I am down to do whatever filthy thing you can think of.”
She blushes slightly and swats my arm. “You’re a pig.”
“Does that mean you’ll let me hike that skirt up and fuck you raw from behind in the bathroom?”
“It means wait until we’re back at the hotel, you pig.” She walks away, shaking her head, but she’s smiling.
And I’m smiling back.
And that makes it harder.
Because tomorrow, I’m leaving.
Carmine catches my eye. He comes over and leans up against the wall beside me. “Not like you to watch a party from a distance.”
“I’ve got stuff on my mind.”
“Why? Relax, kick back, have a cigar. They’re Cuban.”
“I bet they are.” I shake my head. “How can you stand this shit?”
“It’s all just a show, my friend,” he says and sighs. “You’ve got to get over it, you know?”
“Nah, that’s not me. I’m a street guy, you know what I mean? I run my crew. I roam my territory. That’s all I do.”
He narrows his eyes at me for a second then gestures with his head. “Come with me. I want to talk.”
I hesitate, but he leads me out of the private area, down a side hall, and through a doorway.
The garden is big and beautiful. It’s right in the middle of the Oak in a hidden courtyard. There are big bushes, blooming flowers, a gravel-lined path, and benches at even intervals. Lights glow from the ground like a magic hive’s buzzing in the earth. I walk with Carmine, sipping my drink as he puffs away, and when we reach the middle of the area, he stops beside a bench.
“You like it here,” he says and faces me.
“Texas? It’s fine. It’s not home.”
“But you like it anyway.” His eyebrows raise. “Because of her.”
I don’t need to ask who he means. Sara’s face drifts into my mind. Sara laughing, Sara smiling. Sara kissing me, Sara moaning, Sara coming. Sara biting my lip and curling up against me.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Why haven’t you asked me yet?”
“Asked you what?”
He sighs like I’m being fucking obtuse. “Why haven’t you ask me to stay?”
I stare at him, not sure what to say. “I didn’t know that was an option.”
“Jesus fucking—Angelo, brother, Sara’s pregnant with your child and you’re making fucking flights back to Philly. What the hell is wrong with you? I should slap you upside the fucking head. Your grandmother would be absolutely ashamed.”
“I mean—hey, first of all, fuck you, don’t bring my grandmom into this. And second of all, Philly’s my home. I’ve got the crew, I’ve got my obligations.”
“Fuck the crew. I can get somebody else to take over.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Carmine, are you fucking firing me right now?”
He sighs and softens as he puts a hand on my shoulder. “No, you stubborn asshole. I’m trying to help you.”
I let that sink in. I glance back over my shoulder toward the building and all I want to do is turn and go back in that room and find Sara. I want to kiss her, hold her, and keep on doing that every day, every night, from now until we’re old and decrepit. But I’ve always seen my life one way—in the streets, in Philly, running a crew—and this is something else.
“I want to stay,” I tell Carmine and look him in the eye. “How do I make that happen?”
“Cancel your flight, you big fuck.” He grins at me. “As it happens, I’m starting something here in Texas. You could call it an affiliate family. An extension of the Scavo. I’ve been traveling too much between here and home, and things are fractured, but I think this is a way to tie it all together again.”
“An affiliate Famiglia. Like we’re some corporation.”
“Exactly.” He jabs a finger into my chest. “Listen, Angelo. You’ll keep on being who and what you are. That won’t ever change. But I’ve learned some things in my time with Brice, and the Famiglia’s got to change if we want to reach that next level. I need you here, in Texas, helping out with the transition.”
“A transition to what?”
“Something bigger, brother. Something fucking huge, and you are going to be a part of it. Assuming that’s what you want.”
I step away from him and look at the flowers, at the bushes, and up at the sky. It’s not my sky, not the vague black expanse with the few little twinkling dots that hangs over Philly. No row homes, no skyscrapers. Nothing like the place I’ve known and loved my whole life.
And to hell with all that.
“If it means I get to stay here with Sara, I’ll take the job.”
“I thought you would.” Carmine pats my shoulder. “Go tell her. I bet she’ll be happy.”
“Right now?”
“Yeah, please, and stop fucking moping around. God damn, that was getting annoying.”
“Asshole.” I grin at him. “But thanks.”
“Don’t thank me. I’m going to rely on you down here, Angelo, and it won’t be easy.”
“I never wanted easy.” I walk away and he stays behind, smoking and watching me, and I know I’m in for something hard, something dangerous, something wrong—and none of it matters.
Because I’ll have my Sara. My baby. My future.
I walk back through the Oak. I find the private room. And I go right up to my girl. “Can I borrow her?” I ask Robyn and gently help Sara to her feet.
“Bring her back in one piece, please,” Robyn says. “Preferably without any stains.”
“Oh, god, don’t be gross,” Sara says, glaring at her.
I steer Sara out into the hall, pin her up against the wall, and kiss her. “I’ve got good news,” I whisper.
She kisses me hard, a little surprised, but eventually bites my lip. “Hey, asshole, you heard what Robyn said?”
“Sorry. I’m getting carried away.”
“What’s the good news?”
I step back and look into her eyes, grinning my fucking head off. “I’m staying in Texas.”
She stands there like she doesn’t understand. “For another few nights?”
“No, princess. I’m staying in Texas for as long as you want me here.”
Her eyes go wide. “You’re joking.”
“Carmine’s starting something down here. Some new venture he wants me to work on. But who the fuck cares about that? This means we don’t have to worry about anything anymore.”
“But your family, your friends, your grandmother—”
“I’ll visit my grandmother. We both will. And fuck everyone else, that’s what Facebook is for.”
She laughs. “You have a Facebook?”
“Nah, but I should probably make one. Or hell, fuck that too, I don’t care. All I want is you and that baby, and I’m not going anywhere.”
She pulls me against her and we kiss, deep and slow, an exploring kiss, a celebratory kiss—the first of many kisses like it.
I can barely comprehend what my life’s going to be like. I’ve been in one place since I was a kid—I’m Philly, born and bred, and the rivers and streets of that place are in my blood, etched into my skin, broken into my bones.
But my life is in Texas now. My future is here, my heart is here, my love and my child are here. Sara, this baby, this is where I have to be. I’ll still be in the Famiglia and still work for Carmine, but I’m leaving everything I’ve ever known behind.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” she whispers, holding me tight. My fingers lace in her hair. “It’s asking a lot. We can split time, I don’t know, figure it out—”
“I want this more than anything.”
She nods once, grinning at me, tears in her eyes. My ice queen, my frigid princess. Her frozen little heart’s just about bursting now, and I love her so much for it.
I kiss her again, hold her there in the hallway, and tighten my grip in her hair, because I’m never letting go.
“Should we tell everyone the good news?” I ask quietly.
“Let’s enjoy it ourselves for now and tell everyone tomorrow. It’s Nicolas’s night, right?”
“All right, good point.”
She pushes from the wall and takes my hand. “Come on. Let’s go enjoy ourselves.”
“There’s no rush anymore.”
We head into the party holding hands.