SWNOVELS Love to Hate You: Chapter 29
I jolt awake as a muscular body slides beneath the sheets. My eyes pop open and I find Carter’s face hovering above mine.
“Hey,” he says gruffly.
The sound of his voice plucks something deep inside me before reverberating through my body. I reach out to touch him before remembering that I spent the afternoon hanging around the apartment, waiting for him to return so we could talk.
But he never showed. This is the first I’m seeing of him.
My hand falls back to the mattress.
Could I have shot him a text to make sure everything was okay?
Yeah, but there was no way I was doing that.
The bottom line is that Carter and I aren’t together. He’s not my boyfriend. I’m not his girlfriend. He doesn’t owe me any explanations. The situation between us is casual and neither of us have pushed for more than him slipping into my room at night to screw.
Not only does that thought hurt my heart, but it solidifies everything inside me. Even though he’s just woken me from a deep sleep, questions buzz through my brain like a swarm of angry bees.
He buries his face in the hollow of my neck before I can fire off any of them. His warm breath feathers across my skin and sends shockwaves of desire through me. All my questions and concerns evaporate as Carter inhales me.
That little movement is my kryptonite.
Other guys have done the same thing in the past and it’s never affected me the way it does with Carter. Everything with him feels different.
He strips off my pajamas. It’s only when he presses his body against mine that I realize he’s naked. A distant voice is screaming in my head. It’s demanding that we talk about what happened this afternoon, that I tell him we can’t do this anymore. I’m not some nameless, faceless jersey chaser he can fuck when the urge strikes him. If this is going to continue, a set of ground rules needs to be put in place.
Number one on that list is there are no more girls.
Only me.
When he aligns his body with mine, it becomes more and more difficult to hang onto rational thought.
What was I going to say?
He lowers his face to my collarbone and kisses his way across my chest. Almost feverishly, his tongue darts out and sweeps across my nipple before sucking it greedily into his mouth. I moan and arch my back wanting to get closer. Less than two minutes ago, he woke me from a dead sleep and already my core is pulsing with need.
He moves to the other stiff peak, lavishing it with attention before licking a hot trail down my body. When he reaches my pubic bone, he shoulders his way between my thighs. I lift up so that I can see his dark head. Another wave of desire crashes through me as I spread my legs wider.
Our gazes lock and I’m powerless to look away when he presses his lips against my clit. A groan slips free as soon as he makes contact. I want to close my eyes and sink into the pleasure coursing through me, but I don’t. When he sucks that tiny bundle of nerves in his mouth, I nearly lose it.
No one has ever brought me so quickly to orgasm. Carter may be talented on the football field, but he’s equally talented in the bedroom. Again, thoughts of where he took off to this afternoon force their way into my brain.
This time, the voice is louder. More insistent.
I thread my fingers through his tousled hair. Lord knows I can’t have this conversation with his face buried between my thighs. As soon as I attempt to shove him away, he spears a finger inside me and continues to nibble.
The plan may have been to push him away, but I end up tugging him closer as I explode. My toes curl and my back arches as an orgasm streaks through my body. I bite my lip to keep from screaming his name as he licks and kisses my sensitive flesh. I wish this euphoric feeling could last a bit longer, but it doesn’t. All my concerns crash down on me with the force of a brick wall.
Oh my God, what have I done?
I want to kick my own ass for giving in to him so easily.
I loosen my grip on his hair and shove at his shoulders needing distance. Five minutes ago, I couldn’t pull him close enough. Now I can’t push him far enough away. After his behavior this afternoon, I feel vulnerable and exposed.
And really stupid for allowing him to use my body. I’m no different than any of the other girls Carter sleeps with. It’s almost laughable that I ever thought I was in control of the situation when it’s so obvious that I was the one being played.
Carter crawls up my body and tries to press his lips against mine, but I halt his descent by flattening my palms against his chest. His brows draw together in surprise.
“Where have you been?” I snap, sounding like a jealous girlfriend.
We both know that I don’t have any real claim on him. But if he’s boning some other girl on the sly, I deserve to know about it. My breath catches as I consider the possibility that I’m the one who’s being boned on the side. A sick knot settles in the pit of my belly as I force him away with all my strength.
“What the—”
“Are you screwing someone else?” I cringe as Noah’s words circle viciously in my head.
Carter’s the guy on the football team who gets the most pussy. I can imagine all the backslapping that honor has incurred.
You can’t walk the BU campus from one end to the other without hearing girls whisper about his sexual exploits. Why would Carter settle for just one female when he can have a different flavor every night of the week?
Nausea pinches my belly with a viciousness that makes me feel like I’m going to throw up. Lust is replaced by a scowl as he rears back. My hands fall away from his chest.
“Are you being serious?” he asks.
“As a fucking heart attack,” I growl, knocking him from on top of me so that we’re no longer touching.
If I’ve come to realize anything in the last few weeks, it’s that I need to be clearheaded when having a discussion with Carter. The moment he lays his hands on me, I’m lost.
“Why would you ask me something like that?” He collapses on his back beside me. His elbows support his upper body. “I sleep in your bed every damn night.”
True.
“What am I supposed to think? You get a text in the middle of the game and run out of here like your ass is on fire.” My gaze narrows, looking for any sign that he might be holding back the truth. “You don’t think that looks suspect? Because I do.”
Needing to see the expression on his face, I reach over, turning on the bedside lamp. The room becomes illuminated in soft light. My breath catches at the purplish bruise blooming across his cheek. Our discussion forgotten, I kneel on the bed, closing the distance between us until I can cradle his cheeks in the palms of my hands. I tilt his face so that I can inspect the damage.
His solemn gaze stays fixed on mine.
First a black eye and now this?
What the hell is Carter involved in?
Some underground fight club?
Do they even have those here?
Why would he do that?
Carter doesn’t need the money. From everything I’ve heard, his parents are loaded. And I’m not talking about them merely being comfortable. His dad is a commercial real estate developer who works all over the country.
Plus, Carter is in the middle of his final season at BU and he’s entering the NFL draft in the spring. He can’t afford to get injured. His future and financial livelihood is riding on being picked up by a team.
None of this makes sense.
The last time he came home with obvious signs that he’d been brawling, I’d accused him of fooling around with someone else’s girlfriend. He hadn’t denied the allegation.
“What happened to your face?” I ask tightly. If he’s involved with another girl, we’re done. I refuse to be someone’s sidepiece.
Carter hunches his shoulders and glances away. I hold my tongue and wait for an explanation. His silence only validates that whatever he’s doing isn’t something I’d be cool with.
My hands fall away from his face. “You should go.”
Carter’s gaze darts to mine. He licks his lips and opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Everything within me wilts in disappointment. Craving distance, I move further away before yanking the sheet from the bed and wrapping it around my naked body.
“I’m serious. You need to leave.” As much as I want to yell or throw something at him, I keep all my emotion in check.
“Where is this coming from? All I wanted to do was slip into your bed and touch you.” He presses his lips into a tight line and shakes his head. “You’re kicking me out for no reason.”
“I asked you to explain your disappearance and you won’t tell me.” I point to the swelling on his cheek. “I asked how you got the bruise and again, you refuse to tell me.” Much like ripping off a Band-Aid, this needs to be done swiftly. “If you want to be with other girls, that’s fine. But don’t expect to slide into my bed and have me, too.”
That thought is so repugnant that bile rises in my throat.
Carter raises a hand to massage his temple. “Wait a minute, you think I’m screwing around on you?” His eyes widen. “Why the hell would you think that?”
“Explain why you ran out of here earlier.” I wait a beat and add, “Oh, that’s right, you won’t tell me.”
“Daisy, I haven’t been with anyone since we…”
“Fucked?” I supply helpfully.
“No!” he snaps with a scowl. “We aren’t fucking.”
“That’s exactly what we’re doing.” What’s the point in denying it?
“Look, I haven’t been with another girl since we got together.” His gaze is unwavering. “Whether you want to believe it or not, that’s the truth.”
Somehow, when I wasn’t looking, this relationship with Carter became so much more than it was ever meant to be.
His words alleviate some of the pressure in my chest, but they don’t explain where he took off to and why. I wait, hoping that he’ll exonerate himself, but he doesn’t.
“So, you’re going to leave me hanging without an explanation?” I say with disbelief.
“I’m sorry. Something came up that I had to take care of.” Carter closes the distance between us until he’s able to thread his fingers through mine and reel me closer. Once I’m within striking distance, he wraps his arms around me and presses me against his body.
“It’s not something I can talk about. But I promise that it had nothing to do with another girl.” His voice dips, becoming so low that it sounds as if it’s been roughed up by sandpaper. “There’s no one else. Just you.”
A little thrill slides through me as I relax against Carter.
More than anything, I want to believe him.
I just don’t know if I can.