Love that heals

Rudrani

Ashutosh changed a lot these days after the death of his parents. It was a major shock to me but Ashu's changed attitude made me more sad. Ashu closed the hospital in the village. He took over the hospital in the city. I agreed with his decision because I can understand his pain.

But his change is not limited only to that. He stopped providing treatment to the poor in his hospital. He became too commercial. Even at home, he became so rude and strict. He is not talking to me much. He is coming to home so late and that too in a drunken state. I tried to comfort him but he didn't even give a chance to me. While I was in my thoughts, I heard the knock on the door. I think today Ashu arrived home early.

I opened the door and smiled at him. However Ashu didn't respond. He went to the room directly.

I went to the kitchen to continue the cooking. Suddenly I heard the calling of Ashu.

"Rudrani" Ashu shouted.

I went to the room.

"Ashu," I said.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" Ashu asked.

"Ashu, actually dad is sick. Mom asked me for help and I gave that money to her," I said casually as Ashu never takes money issues that seriously.

"Who gave you permission to give my money to your parents? If you are my wife, then only you are my responsibility. Not your entire family. Look from now, don't take money without my permission. And I need details of every rupee you spend. Understand?" Ashu screamed at me.

I nodded as I didn't understand why he changed to this extent.

"Now get lost from here," Ashu said.

"I am sorry, Ashu. I will never spend money without your permission. Please relax," I said slowly.

He nodded.

"Dinner is ready," I said.

"I had the dinner," Ashu said.

"Ok. That's fine," I said.

I had the dinner and came to the room. I slept on the bed and Ashu touched my hand. I understood what he want. Now a days it became a routine for me to give him what he want without saying anything. I couldn't feel his love and it's just he fulfilling his need to overcome his work stress. He did what he want and left me after sometime.

I slept with tears in my eyes. I remembered the days where he made love to me and I too enjoyed to be all his, feeling his love. But now it's so different. No love. No feeling. I should respond to whatever he does or he will give a glare to me and stops talking for a few days until I apologise him. So, now a days I am not stopping him and responding to him not to make him angry.

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In the morning, I woke up and got ready. I started preparing the breakfast. I missed those days where mom and I used to cook with the help of dad and Ashu. Now a days, Ashu is not entering into the kitchen at all. Along with mom and dad, sweetness in Ashu is also gone.

"Rudrani," Ashu called me and I looked at him.

"Is the breakfast ready?" Ashu asked in his cold tone.

"Just five minutes, it will be ready," I said in a low voice. These days I am hell scared of Ashu. I am talking very less before him that too in a low voice.

Ashu looked at me and then the wall clock.

"I told you that the breakfast should be ready by 8 AM everyday. What's the time now?" Ashu asked.

"8:20," I replied.

"And still it's not ready. I am leaving to the hospital," Ashu said.

"Ashu, please have your breakfast and go," I said.

"Don't worry about it. I will have it on the way. And don't prepare the breakfast for me for a week," Ashu said.

That's the only thing which we used to have together everyday. But now he won't be having breakfast too with me. Ashu left without letting me speak anything. I too got ready and went to the hospital.

"Madam, MD sir is calling you," the attender said and I went to Ashu's cabin. I opened the door of his cabin and stopped seeing the scene there. A girl is in Ashu's lap and they are romancing with each other. I closed my eyes to control my anger. I don't want to shout at Ashu in the hospital as it degrades his respect.

"Can't you knock the door before entering into the MD cabin? Learn the basic manners and behave as a professional doctor," Ashu said.

"I can't be as professional as you are," I said and slammed the door and left to my room.

As I couldn't concentrate on the work, I went to my home. In the night, Ashu arrived to home around 12 AM.

"Ashu, I want to talk to you," I said.

"Not now. I am tired," Ashu said.

"It's about my life and important to me. I should talk right now," I shouted at Ashu.

Ashu looked at me making me shiver with fear. He didn't look at me angrily but I don't know why I was frightened of him. Ashu came to me and sat on the sofa.

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"Please give me a coffee," Ashu said and leaning backwards of the sofa.

"Now?" I asked.

"I have no energy to talk or listen. I need rest. But as you are not ready to give me time to talk, atleast give me a coffee and then we will talk," Ashu said.

I nodded and made coffee for him. Ashu sipped the coffee and held my hand as I sat beside him.

"Do you know something?" Ashu asked me.

"What?"

"I can never leave this hand ever," Ashu said, kissing my hand.

Ashu wiped my tears.

"You can talk," Ashu said.

"But on one condition," Ashu said.

"What?"

"You shouldn't cry while talking and you also should remember whatever you ask or say now will effect our relationship forever," Ashu said.

"Who is that girl?" I asked.

"Riya," Ashu said.

"Not the name. Who is she?"

"She is the one and only daughter of our Health Minister," Ashu said.

"How is she related to you?" I asked.

"How are you related to me?" Ashu asked, confusing me.

"What?"

"Answer me, Rudrani," Ashu said.

"I am your wife," I said.

"When I already have a wife, there's nothing to know anymore about my relationship with any other girls," Ashu said.

"But you are so close to her," I said and stopped realising his glare at me.

Suddenly Ashu pulled me towards him and stroked my lips.

"I love these lips. Don't let them speak anything that I don't want to hear," Ashu said.

"If your heart trusts me, there won't be anything that bothers you. If not, anything can make you upset. I am not responsible for that. If you have finished your interrogation, I will take a rest. I have an important surgery in the morning," Ashu said.

"What are these photos?" I showed to Ashu.

"Are you spying on me?" Ashu said.

"It's sent by your friend, Ahmed to me," I said.

"Yes, I have an affair with Riya. What will you do now?" Ashu said, holding my arm tightly.

"Look, if you want to stay as my wife in the society, stay calm. Or just leave. But never try to question me or my behaviour.

As I tied this knot to you, I am bound to you lifelong bearing all your foolishness. What's there in it? I was just kissing that girl in the photos. I have forgiven you though you have kissed a boy in the US. Now don't create a nuisance for this as if you are a good wife and I deceived you.

I didn't divorce you and going to stay with you lifelong. So, stop bothering about the other side of my life. Still you are my wife and forever it will be the same. Just stay calm and away from all this."

Ashu said and left to the room. I cried and heard Ashu calling me. I went to the room. I thought he wants me. How could he speak that way and calling me now to fulfill his wish?

"Are you going to cry the whole night? Sleep," Ashu said and I slept on the bed. Ashu caressed my hairs but didn't do anything else.

"Sleep now," Ashu said.

I closed my eyes with tears and just don't know when I slept. I didn't understand what should I do. Should I leave Ashu or stay with him helplessly?