Love that heals

Ashutosh:

I threw her on the bed and went near to her. Rudrani was crying. I touched her temple and moved my finger from her temple to her chin to scare her. I won't do anything to her unless she accepts me and is ready for it. I just want to show what is being unfair.

"Lie on the bed," I ordered her. She did what I said seeing my anger. She is wiping her tears. "Ashu, please give me sometime. It hurts me, please," She said joining her hands before me. "Stay calm, Rudrani or it will hurt more," I warned.

Rudrani looked another side still crying. Rudrani closed her eyes. I laid on top of her but didn't touch her as I balanced my whole weight on my left elbow. I cupped her cheek with my another hand. She looks so innocent. I know she is a dangerous tigress but my heart always finds signs of innocence in her. I smiled looking at her forgetting about divorce.

Suddenly I noticed her heart beating fast. Sweat occupied all over her body. Her breathing became heavy. She starting biting her lip..

"Rudrani," I shouted.

She is still biting her lip from where blood oozed out and clutched her fist tightly. Shut, I reminded her past to her. I made her to sit and hugged her to my chest caressing her hairs.

"Rudrani," I shouted again and this time she opened her eyes but was very frightened.

"Stop hurting yourself. I didn't mean to do anything to you. I just thought to show what is being unfair. I was just acting. I won't harm you in any way" I said.

Rudrani came out of her fear and stopped biting her lip and released her clutch. I noticed her gaze at me. I expected a slap from her for my behaviour or thought that she may push me away. Throwing my thoughts away, Rudrani hugged me tightly.

"Ru.. Ru.. Drani," I said slowly and tried to move.

"Don't move," Rudrani ordered and I was frozen at my place. I don't know how long she hugged me like that. She broke the hug and gave a serious look to me.

"Why are you this angry? What did I do?" Rudrani asked.

Then I remembered about divorce and my anger took it's place again.

"Why do you want divorce?

"Divorce? When did I say that I need divorce?"

"Why are you acting before me when you already decided to divorce me?"

"Ashu, what are you talking? I mean it's you who said about divorce but I didn't ask. I know you were angry that day and said it in anger. I already forgot it," Rudrani said.

"Shut up. Don't act more. You hate me. You want to break this relationship," I shouted and I don't know when tears occupied my eyes.

"Ashu, you are misunderstanding me. I don't want divorce and I didn't want to break this relationship," Rudrani said.

"I said to stop acting. I heard your conversation with Sanjay," I said.

"Which conversation, Ashu?"

"Today's conversation with Sanjay about your plan of taking divorce," I said.

"Ashu, You are totally mistaken. No it's not about us. It's about mutual friend of me and Sanjay. However, again we advised her not to take divorce after listening to Sanjay," Rudrani said acting too much.

"So after listening to Sanjay, you changed your decision of taking divorce," I asked her.

"Are you mad, Ashu? I have already clarified that it's not about us," Rudrani said seriously.

"I don't trust your words. I hate you," I said.

Rudrani:

"I don't trust your words. I hate you," Ashu said.

"Maybe I don't deserve love, Ashu. That's why everyone hates me and hatred is not new to me," I said controlling my tears.

His words are very hurting and the thing which I understood was Ashu was hurt so much by me. I shouldn't have lied to Ashu about the camp. I lost his trust after that incident. Now, Ashu won't trust me whatever I say. I really don't know how to make him understand that I love him. I never intended to take divorce from the day I realised Ashu's love for me.

"You can't melt me through your emotional words, Rudrani. Now it's over," Ashu said.

"Over? What do you mean?"

"I will divorce you," Ashu said.

"No, I can't agree with you on this. I didn't do anything wrong, Ashu. You can't divorce me without my fault," I tried to be strong.

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"Even if you are wrong, I would have never divorced you. I want you to be happy. If your happiness lies in divorce and getting separated from me, I will definitely do that.

But Rudrani, I didn't want our parents to get hurt or misunderstand you. So, I will go abroad for specialization and I will never return. Mom and dad will think I was changed and cheated you. Then you can live happily with mom and dad or separately as per your wish. You can marry anyone you love after that. No one will blame you," Ashu said.

I felt to slap him but controlled myself as I didn't want to make him more angry. To go abroad, still there was time. After completing his house surgency, he will leave for the Masters. If I can gain his trust and make him trust my love, he may change his decision. I didn't argue with him and went to wash my face.

I went into the washroom and turned on the tap. I took water into the hand but I realised that water is already flowing from my eyes. I cried for a long time until I heard Ashu knocking the door. I wiped my tears and washed my face. I went out and Ashu looked at me.

I didn't want to show that his words effect me. He got fresh up and came out from the washroom. I looked at him and realised that he is looking at me. Ashu went out without telling to me. Whole day, I didn't come out of the room. Mom called me for dinner. I went to the dining hall and joined them.

"Rudrani where is Ashu?" Dad asked me.

"These days Ashu behaviour changed a lot. Usually Ashu never miss to join us for dinner. Now a days he became too busy," Mom said.

"Ashu said he has some work and will be late to the home," I answered.

We had the dinner and I waited for Ashu. It's already 12 am but he didn't arrive home yet. I called him and his mobile was switched off. The clock struck 1 am.

Ashu never came this late to our home in these six months. I didn't understand anything. Should I wake up mom and dad? I think I should call his friends but I don't have their contact numbers. It's past six months from the day we got married but I never tried to know anything about him. He was upset and angry. Where did he go? Is he safe or anything happened to him?

My heart started beating fast indicating that I was panicked. I tried to his mobile again and again still there's no response. Why did he switch off his mobile? Another hour passed increasing my fear. Ashu, please come fast, I am sorry if I hurt you. I sat on the floor absent mindedly thinking about Ashu.