Love Began with the First Meeting

Brian hid his face against his mother's shoulder. Right now, sorrow was the only thing he knew. After he managed to catch his breath, he started to explain, "I love her so much... I've loved only her and no other girl could replace her... But Molly has been through so much while she was with me and there's no saying whether that would stop or not... So I had to let her go... There was no other choice. I had to let her go, to get her out of harm's way..." He closed his eyes, ruefully thinking on his next words, then continued, "Mom, as much as I want to keep her and love her, I can't. I can never give her the life she wanted..." He paused as his trembling voice and dizziness prevented him from speaking.

"My son..." Shirley hugged him even tighter, leaning her head against his and rocking him slightly back and forth as though he was a small child again. But she couldn't think of anything to say to him. She understood how he felt. She understood why things had to be the way they were. She had returned to the hotel room a few minutes ago to see Brian looking out of the window. She had hoped that their departure would bring back her son's memory, but after watching him by the window, she had realized that he had his memory all this time and was only pretending to had lost it. She suddenly remembered Richie's words from earlier and understood what he meant.

She knew that Brian was destined to have an extraordinary life, and this life could mean a lot of cruel, unspeakable things like killing others or even being killed. Molly was just a common girl, who could never be able to assimilate to that kind of life. If she stayed by Brian's side, then every day she would be living in the uncertain space that was between life and death, and she would not get away from the fear of losing her beloved ones all the time. Brian may be strong and powerful, but he could not guarantee that he could protect her continuously all the time; there would always be the threat of danger in her life. Shirley knew that Brian would rather keep all of the danger and horror to himself than putting her in harm's way. She deserved to have an ordinary, happy life.

She also knew that loving someone also meant letting them go if it would benefit them rather than to hurt them. Suddenly, Shirley realized that history was repeating itself. She was once in the same situation that her son and daughter-in-law faced. She loved her husband Richie, and as she loved him so, she had been determined to leave him in fear of being a hindrance to his career. Richie had always misunderstood her and blamed her to every single thing she did wrong. She had thought that she had no part to play in Richie's life. And now, what was happening between Brian and Molly was just a repeat of Shirley's and Richie's love story. They were all just victims of love.

Thinking about her own miserable past, her strength on her arms intensified. If only she could comfort him, make him feel even a bit better, she would be willing to give up her all, even her life. Only those who went through the pain of letting a loved one go could truly understand Brian's current grief, and the torture he's been going through by concealing his love for Molly and being hated and misunderstood by the person he loved.

The light might be on, or it might be off. Neither of them were sure, but the atmosphere in the room felt as though it was swallowed in complete darkness and uneasiness. Brian, who had always appeared as indomitable and invincible, a Superman, was now like a vulnerable and frail little child, weeping in the embrace of his mom, as if he had lost his favorite toy. The sadness wafted in the air as if dark clouds domed the earth and everything was dissolved in boundless depression and dullness.

Outside, it was still snowing, and with each flake of snow that fell, it was as through they were Brian's tears, numerous and frozen by the cold air. The amount of tears that Brian felt like he had shed seemed to equal the number of flakes of snow.

Molly did not call a cab. Instead, she and Mark walked towards their old house on foot, carrying their luggage as they took step after step. They walked through the snow with some difficulty. Among the vehicles and the crowds of people milling around, they looked like lost and isolated beggars looking for shelter and some food to eat.

They walked a long time before they reached a shopping center that looked as big on the inside as it did on the outside. Bright lights poured out through the windows of the shops and music was playing at high volume. As Molly listened to the lyrics of the song, she found herself entranced. She stopped walking and looked up.

She saw a big clock on the top of the square building, ticking slowly. The minute hand moving forward bit by bit. She felt that it was telling her to move on and move forwards and live a new life. She stayed stood in the middle of the busy crowd when people hurrying here and there, and listened to the sorrow-filled melody of the song, and as she did, she took the lyrics of the song to heart.

'You pushed me away, cruelly. But why am I missing you so much? Now accompanied by the doves in the square, how badly I wanted to send you a message and tell you how much I love you.

Without you in my life, I lost my destination, I lost my soul. Your indifference would only make my life harder.

My heart is plunging with pain, my body is shuddering with sadness. Why didn't you try to keep me by your side?

You know I would be so much thrilled if you did. Now how can we come back? How can we remedy the hole that left there? I didn't want to give up, I never did.

I cannot see any hope; you did not give me any chance. I always wished that if only you had given me a warm smile, that if you had asked me to stay, You know that I would stay. I don't care how much I have to suffer, have much danger I have to overcome. Nothing matters if I can stay by your side.'

Tears came rushing out of her eyes as the song came to a finish. She felt as though her heart was shattered into a million pieces and that her heart would become black as coal and die if that was even possible. Once again, she felt her misery overwhelming her. Her grip on Mark's hand tightened a bit, and her eyes became dazed like it had been for a long time. 'Bri, I never wanted to give up on you," she whispered into the air in front of her. "But what could I do? I don't have a choice. You don't love me anymore. If I keep hanging around you any longer, you would only come to despise me and that would be the thing I would hate the most."

Drowning in her own agony, she bit down on her bottom lip hard, trying not to break down in front of Mark.

"Mommy?" Mark looked up at her, noticing her distressed and sorrowful mind. Although he was young, he understood that she was feeling miserable, and so his eyes conveyed to her the kind of tender and loving care that most children would not have towards their parents. But Mark knew. "I'll always be by your side. I'll never leave you. You'll always have me by your side," Mark said in a voice much too gentle and wise for his age. There were tears in his eyes. At his age, he was much too concerned about Molly's being heartbroken and in suffering pain.

His words were very poignant and they moved her. They made her realize that she could no longer wallow in sorrow and pain, but for her own sake and the sake of her son, she had to turn her attention ahead, to the future, and not look back at the past. Molly looked down at Mark and then frowned in thought. "Let's go," she said resolutely.

She took Mark by the hand and started to lead him forward.

The snow was still falling delicately all around them and the music was still playing. Pretty soon, mother and son left the premises of the square and nowhere to be seen, but their footprints were imprinted in the snow, indicating the direction where they went. As one looked at them, slowly getting covered with a new layer of snow, one would wonder what lay ahead for Molly and her son Mark. 00000