Look Beyond What You See

But we didn’t work on it together, at least not then. At that point he decided that I’d discovered enough forbidden information for one night and I was hard pressed to get him to listen to me even long enough to take the letter for my sister Kyla. I made him promise to mail it for me, though it took some doing to extract the promise and his eyes burned like coals the entire time. Once that was settled he sent me to my room to sleep, saying that in the morning, after breakfast, we could go to the library together and investigate. I am not sure I want to explore it with him, but that’s probably a better option than going alone and risking being caught with forbidden materials, at which point they would almost certainly get my grandmother to come here to fix my insubordination.

Not, of course, that I would be caught, given my hearing abilities. With everything I’ve learned tonight about myself, I strongly suspect that I have unconsciously channeled what magic I have to increase my hearing abilities and give myself the capability of silent movement in all circumstances. Zira was right; the way I can move is entirely unnatural. Perhaps it is even an extension of my ruling element. I flow like water from one place to another, taking the fastest route even if it is hidden to the average eye.

Of course, there are no “average eyes” in this family.

Naturally, upon returning to my chamber I spent a bit of time examining my own eyes in the looking glass. They are not like elemental eyes, quite; their irises do not swirl like the ones on that book cover did, and the color is not as intense. But I can see the potential there. Perhaps, if Dmitri helps me connect with the magic and gain elemental abilities, my eyes will change to reflect that.

I wish I knew, if Grandmother knew of my magic and thought I was so special and all the rest of it, why she never tried to teach me to use it, never hinted that I had such abilities. Perhaps, through Father, she knew of my talent for silent movement and wrongfully assumed that skill was all my gift was good for. This cannot be so, since it is strong enough to interfere with the charms she has placed on this necklace.

I want to break it. I want to be sure that it holds absolutely no sway over my thoughts and feelings and actions. But the chain is thick, for a necklace, and I believe it is impossible for mortal strength to break a magic thing. I will have to read one of the Berkeleys’ books on sorcery to be sure. All things supernatural were left out of my education to the greatest extent possible, though they interested me. Perhaps because they interested me. But I know not how one can have a proper education without spending time on fairy tales, ancient legends, and other fantastical literature. Sometimes they tell us important things about life, about history, about everything.

I haven’t been able to sleep since the rooftop revelations. My mind travels in endless repetitive circles. So I have shut myself into my private bath chamber (so nice, to have a private bath chamber! At home I shared with Lucia and my other younger sisters) and filled the tub with water. They have running water here, in addition to electricity; both are rare and only for the very rich, last I knew. Although perhaps, being elementals, things come more easily. From what I remember, Wesley has electric blue eyes that seem to crackle at times. Perhaps he controls electricity, and has created the electrical system in the house as an outlet for his abilities.

I sit next to the tub and stir my hands in the water, trying to connect with it, attach whatever magic I have to it. I don’t really expect much success, given that I just discovered that I have the capability of doing such things a few hours ago. It’s strange, mostly. At first it just feels like water, but the harder I concentrate, the more I can feel an energy in it, a life to the water I never noticed before. I can’t seem to do anything with it though, and that frustrates me.

“What are you doing?” Dmitri’s voice, heavy with sleep, demands behind me. I stand up abruptly, surprised by his presence, and the water rises out of the tub with my hands for a second before falling with a crash and a splash back to the tub...and all over me and the rest of the bath chamber. Dmitri stares for a few seconds, eyes darting between me and the puddles all around. I think he’s trying to decide whether to laugh at me or be shocked by what I managed to do. But as he stares flames seem to leap in his eyes and I am confused and drop my gaze from his. My eyes fall on the soaked fabric of my dress and I realise with sudden embarrassment what the flames in his eyes denote. Accordingly, I snatch a towel from the rack and wrap myself in it, despite my clothes.

“I was practicing, or trying to,” I reply in a cold voice meant to kill arousal. “What brought you here? You’re not supposed to be here until we’re married, if I remember rightly. The rules apply to my chambers as well as yours.”

“I could feel your energy, even sleeping. You can’t practice here,” Dmitri replies, eyes still smouldering.

“Then where?”

“I’ll show you in the morning. For now you should sleep.”

“You should know there’s no way I can sleep tonight.” Another flash in his eyes. I draw the towel tighter around myself and try to concentrate on expelling the water from my clothes (if I could lift it, surely I can manage that).

“Don’t do that,” he orders softly as he approaches me with long strides. His expression is unreadable. My whole body tenses. “Let me.” His hands on my shoulders, and then heat emanating from his hands, drying my dress as his hands move slowly across my body. An unfamiliar feeling wells up in the pit of my stomach and my eyes fall half-shut; I can’t help trembling, just a little, and his grip on me tightens ever so slightly. I’m grateful he’s standing behind me and can’t see my expression, though I yearn to be able to see his. When his hands reach my hips he aims his fingers downward and a sudden burst of heat flashes through my skirt.

“Will I ever be able to get that kind of control with mine?” I whisper. I don’t trust myself to speak louder without giving away the strange feelings swirling inside me.

“In due time, once you learn the basics.” His voice is a husky murmur; his hot breath tickles my ear. He’s warm, very warm, and I wonder if it’s just because of his fire or something more. His chest presses against my back and his arms circle around my waist. What do you think you’re doing? I would ask, but my vocal cords won’t seem to cooperate.

“Aerys? Why aren’t you in bed?” Juniper’s annoying voice demands from somewhere in my suite. Dmitri is suddenly across the room from me.

“I told you so,” he mouths before opening a panel in the wall--of my bath chamber!--and disappearing into a passage.

“I was just washing up, Juniper. Forgive me,” I reply smoothly to the maid while dropping my towel to the floor to clean up the excess water and unplugging the bathtub. To my surprise, the floor is entirely dry. Thank you, Dmitri. But there’s a passage into my bath chamber?! He can come and go whenever he wants?! The thought is hardly comforting. But I can’t dwell on it, not now that Juniper is here. She clucks and fusses disapprovingly while I change into my nightgown and obediently get into bed. I don’t intend to stay in bed, not once she leaves, but I learned long ago that feigned obedience works better than outright defiance.

A few minutes later, when the crazy maid has left me to my ‘pleasant slumber,’ I slip out of bed and glide across the floor to my bath chamber. The wall panels all look the same to the untrained eye, but I easily find the one that will open under my hand. How did I not notice this before? Well, it seems an unusual place for a passage....

“Nice of you to come back,” Dmitri whispers ironically when I open the wall, scaring me out of my skin. I clap a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming and he chuckles darkly. “I’m sorry. Did I startle you?”

“Not at all,” I reply dryly, also whispering. “I thought it was a passage and you were long gone. I was planning to find a way to block it. But apparently there’s no need.”

“No, it’s just a secret hiding spot, if a bit cramped. I’m glad you came back. Sometimes it’s difficult to open from the inside.” He scoots out of the cupboard with difficulty and then stands up and turns to me. “I presume Juniper has moved on to terrorize other parts of the household?”

“Yes, but you’d best be gone before she decides to come back and make sure I’m actually sleeping.”

“Fair enough. I’ll go by way of the roof, if you don’t mind.”

“As you please. It matters not to me, so long as you’re not caught.”

“Honestly, to everyone except Juniper and my parents, trysts between us are expected,” he murmurs conspiratorially with a wink.

“In your dreams,” I retort irritably. The things he makes me feel annoy me immeasurably. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Ah! So cold. Perhaps I have made a mistake and your ruling element is ice.” His hand catches mine and pulls me towards him despite my resistance. “But mayhap you can be thawed....” Really? How unoriginal.

“You should go to bed.”

“So should you. Maybe we should go together. We are, after all, promised to be married....”

“Have you been drinking?” I try to pry myself out of his grip, becoming more anxious with each passing moment. Something about this frightens me to no end. Perhaps the fear that if we start something, I won’t be able or willing to stop.

“No. But you’re right. I’m out of line.” He steps away from me and moves to leave the bath chamber. I am simultaneously relieved and disappointed. “Until tomorrow, Aerys.” The way his mouth caresses my name makes me want to change my mind, to call him back, but when I move to follow him I hear the door to the roof and know it’s futile. I’m a fool. Still I go to bed, a silly smile trying to fight its way onto my face. In spite of myself, I look forward to whatever tomorrow brings.

***~O~***