Look Beyond What You See

“Rise and shine, Aerys,” a velvet voice murmurs in my ear, causing me to reluctantly swim out of the warm dark bliss of the best sleep I can remember. Warm flickering flames greet my gaze as I struggle to open my eyes. Around the flames, sharp beams of brilliant dawn pierce into my consciousness and I draw my eyelids closed against them. A warm chuckle, and then a warmer hand on my face over my eyes. “You can open your eyes now. This should make it easier.” I slowly comply with his instructions. So considerate. How did I get so lucky?

“Thanks,” I mumble as my eyes adjust. Why did we have to wake up? Last night could have lasted forever and it still would not have been long enough. Forgiveness and reconciliation brought about such happiness for both of us that the idea of facing the rest of the world again is absolutely abhorrent.

Unfortunately, I realise as he slowly takes his hand from my eyes that we’re still on the roof and that therefore the rest of the world will probably be angry at us and invading our just-recaptured happiness with all of its unpleasantness in the very near future.

“They permitted us to sleep up here last night?” I wonder. I find it incredibly difficult to believe that Juniper consented to this.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Dmitri returns. “Malina said she’d persuade Juniper to turn a blind eye, provided you were in your chambers where you belonged when she came in to wake you up this morning. That’s why I woke you, actually. Juniper will be disturbing the sanctity of your suite soon, I believe.”

“Are you sure we cannot just stay up here indefinitely?” I whine as I snuggle closer to him. Good things like this shouldn’t have to end. He runs a hand through my hair with a fond chuckle before unburying my head from his chest so that our eyes meet.

“I wish we could,” he answers, the liquid hot sincerity that colours his tones causing my insides to melt. “But more than a few people would object to that, and a number of them know that this is one of our favourite haunts.”

“We should go somewhere else then, a place where they will not find us.”

“Don’t tempt me.” His lips just brush mine as he whispers this huskily. My whole body trembles with suddenly reawakened desire. For an agonizingly long moment, we stay like that, a hair’s breadth between our lips, foreheads pressed against each other, caught in each other’s embraces in our nest of bedding in the middle of the roof garden.

A door slams somewhere below us, shattering the moment. With great reluctance, we get to our feet and gather up the bedding, wishing for what might have been had reality not so rudely interrupted.

“I’ll see you at breakfast, then?” I ask. Anything to restore a sense of normalcy, and push away from the intimacy. If we go back there now, we won’t leave the roof short of fire, flood, or an enraged Juniper.

“I would like nothing more,” he replies, though we both know he’s lying. We would both like something more, a lot more, but at the moment that simply is not to be had, so we content ourselves with a brief hand clasp before we climb down our separate ladders to face separate interrogations by separate staff members.

To my surprise, no ladies accost me when I enter my bedchamber from the closet that grants me access to the roof. I quickly change into a fresh gown (yesterday’s was quite dirty, after all the excitement; I’m rather surprised that Dmitri was willing to tolerate such squalor) and proceed into my little study, where my desk and books and the like are. In the centre of my desk, a single red rose lies across a piece of paper decorated with an elegant, unfamiliar script. What in the world...? My first thought is that Dmitri left an apology note for me here while he was trying to find me, before our necklaces broke and my grandmother arrived and threw her temper tantrum. But no, Dmitri’s handwriting does not look like this, though it is elegant in its own way.

To my lady Aerys,

I apologise for not bidding you farewell in person. After the incident involving your grandmother, I was in an absolute frenzy to get away, and I was told that you were quite indisposed once she finally took her leave. I hope that, as you read this, you are feeling much better. I could not wait for you to recover before I left this place. I have no intention of angering Xenia de Poitiers any further. I doubt that even you will be able to intercede for me a second time.

Thank you, thank you, for risking yourself to save me from her wrath. You and I both know that I deserved to die, for insulting your honour in such a way as I did by suggesting that you could ignore your engagement and run away with a man who was your tutor. I owe you everything, and I will never forget it.

As you read this, I am on my way back to my family in Venice. I intend to tell them of all that has transpired at the Berkeley mansion and see if there is any way for me to avoid fighting on the side of that evil woman. I doubt she will miss a single water bender from our clan. If I am released, I should like to pledge my services to you, out of gratitude for what you did for me in that garden in spite of my irresponsible and reprehensible conduct towards you. Whatever I can do to help you or protect you, I will do without question.

My loyalty I pledge to you, I confess, not only out of gratitude but because I find you to be a lady worthy of every admiration. You may rest assured, however, that if I ever again have the pleasure of your company, I will never again make you such an offer as I did in the garden. I choose to respect your engagement and your choice to remain with your fiancé. Should you, however, ever decide that you are unhappy in your current place, know that there will always be a place for you with me in Venice, whether as a friend and comrade in combat or something more.

Forever your faithful servant,

Giacomo

“He cares greatly for you,” Malina’s voice remarks behind me. I jump, startled, and the note flutters to the floor.

“So I have read,” I reply coolly, not trusting myself to say more, as I turn to face her. “You sent him to me to give me a chance to escape, did you not?”

“What I told your fiancé was true. I wanted first and foremost to distract you from your heartache. However, it would be dishonest of me to claim that the idea that he might disclose his feelings to you never crossed my mind.”

“Did you imagine that he would ask me to elope with him?”

“That idea also occurred to me, but I dismissed it immediately as absolutely ludicrous. It seems I underestimated him.”

“Take the rose. I cannot keep that. Dmitri and I have only just reconciled. I would hate to anger him again.”

“Have you also compromised your honour?” she inquires as she takes the rose from my trembling hand.

“No more than I did the night of the engagement ball and the morning after, when Wesley found Dmitri and I in bed together fully clothed. Really, I would hope that you would expect better even than that of me.”

“Juniper does, to be sure, but if I were in your place, as much as you and Dmitri care for each other...well, I don’t know how you’ve managed to remain chaste.”

I decide to just ignore that remark. I’m too conflicted over this note from Giacomo to bother with her provocative comments. “Thank you for pacifying Juniper for us last night. We desperately needed the time to talk things out and forgive each other for everything that’s happened between us over the last month or so.”

“My pleasure. Junie agreed immediately once I painted it in that light. For all she’s fussy and over-exacting about etiquette and protocol and the like, she really does care about you. Besides, she still thinks you deserve some sort of award for the way you dealt with Yekaterina.”

“Henceforward that name is never mentioned in my presence, unless Zinaida hears from her relatives about its owner.”

Malina chuckles. “As you wish, milady. Now, shall we to breakfast?”

I stoop to pick up the piece of paper with the outpourings of Giacomo’s heart on it. I really have no idea what to do with it. It would seem disloyal to my fiancé to keep it, but on the other hand, I do not wish to destroy it.

“I’ll take that for you,” Malina offers, “and keep it in a safe place. You may yet have need of his services in battle, whether or not you wish to gratify any of the other wishes he has expressed.”

“Thank you.” I’m not sure this is the best long-term solution, but it will do for now. At the moment, I have great need to turn my mind to a rather more pressing matter--the interview with my future father-in-law that I’m certain will accompany the morning repast.

I am absolutely overflowing with excitement for this conversation, in the same way that Robespierre was overflowing with excitement to meet the same fate as his political foes during the Reign of Terror.

Whatever he wants of me, I refuse to be used as a tool or an instrument of war, and I will not cultivate powers similar to my grandmother’s. There must be another way we can overpower her, and I am determined to find it.

***~O~***